Moving Forward
by Elina H
Summary: Tired of an on/off relationship Bella starts from zero in a new city. After seeing how things turn out she'll wonder if she made the right choices. NORMAL PAIRINGS
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: No, I do not own twilight, never have, never will. I just own my mind and the weird things that happen in it… Stephanie Meyer owns the rest of it all.**

Chapter 1:

"Wait! This isn't what it looks like! Would you stop packing and listen, please?" the scumbag of my soon-to-be ex-boyfriend pleaded with me. I just looked at him like he started speaking in an entire different language. "The pictures don't agree with that statement, baby." I said the last word dripping sarcasm.

"Isabella, you're out of your mind if you ever think I'd cheat on you with someone like her! We've known each other since middle school you know me better than that." His hands went from his hair to my hands, stopping me from adding more clothes into the suitcase.

"Don't even go there; you're not the victim here, John. I didn't just hire somebody to spy on you. I took those pictures myself!" I was feeling less and less patient. I was about to let my instincts run wild and break a pan on his head like my mom would have.

My mom… Renee loved John, she would never believe that the same boy that took me to every dance in middle school and saw me grow out of my most embarrassing stages with the same look of love in his eyes that he had the day he asked me to marry him. Of course that marriage had ended about a year later because of some similar situation, that time _I_ had made a mistake… she will definitely bring up the many times we've broken up because of me. Almost the same number of times that it was his fault, but since I was the one leaving this time, I guess I'd take all the blame.

This time was different I knew we wouldn't go back to what we had. Even after I knew everything I knew I still love him. I can't lie to myself, not about something I am so sure of. He doesn't help much my decision because I know he loves me too. I know him so well that the look in his eyes right now was just a brief showing of the pain he'll be once I've left. Looking into the most comforting black eyes that I've ever seen I felt a knot in my chest, for a moment I felt like going back and ignoring what had happened.

"Bella," he cupped my face with his hands, and this time I couldn't stop the tear that run down my face. "You are everything I have, you know I love you, I would never lie to you about that." And I knew that for once this afternoon he wasn't lying. He used it to make his case work. "We've been through everything together, death of friends and relatives. Times when there was no money, illness, we've been through all of what we in our vows promised and it's only made us have more meaning. Don't throw something as valuable away."

"That's the problem; you only remember how valuable it is when I'm ready to go!" I was sobbing now, why couldn't he remember all of this, all the time?

"Because I never thought that you would leave! You are my best friend, I know I've made mistakes, but so have you! Or should I remind you marriage number two?"

It was a low blow. We stopped on the second marriage because 2 divorces, when you weren't even 25, did not sound well anywhere, and it didn't matter that both of them were with the same person, people looked at you like you were a teenage and couldn't drive yet. We didn't care, from both times we learned about ourselves. I learned that, no matter how many dates I went through, he was the one I wanted to drive me home and kiss me on the door step. John learned about himself too, he also added a few more numbers to his little black book, or dictionary-sized agenda, more like.

"Please, my little fling and dates weren't compared to the stench of hooker cheap perfume I found here when I moved back!" He was crossing a dangerous zone now.

"Exactly, you still moved back! Because this," he said taking my hands in both of his, "is unique. You are my best friend Bella, you are my home, and no matter what happens we have to have each other in our lives to be able to live." He leaned down and kissed me sweetly, but I could feel he was waiting for me to snap out of it and hang my clothes back in the closet. If only he knew…

"We can still be in each others lives; I never said I'll erase you from mine." He let a smile lit of his face. His brown hair was falling on his eyes; his shirt loosened and not tucked in because of all the fighting from 2 hours ago. We were much calmer now. "But I am leaving; I don't want to have to remind you every day of how right we are for each other and that it's real." His smile fell and he went to the heartbroken puppy face from before.

"I know that! I've just reminded you of it!" he said raising his arms in surrender. "Unpack and come to bed, I believe I haven't welcomed you from work properly, yet." A wicked smile playing in his serious face.

"Oh, no, dear. This time sex isn't going to convince me. Maybe you should ask your date for some sweet lovin'." I said laughing, but internally I just wanted to forget everything and follow him. I just had to look at the pictures and remind myself of the night of the 'crime'.

_Flashback_

"_What time is it?" I asked for the tenth time in the last 5 minutes._

"_30 seconds after the last time," Carrie sighed exasperated. "I'm sorry," I said looking at the table and fiddling with the napkin,"I'm just nervous." _

"_Why? Are you surprised to see what you're about to see?" she asked rhetorically. I knew she was right. This is about the fourth time we are breaking up, just because of his cheating. _

"_I know, I know. But this time is different Carrie, I've got a plane ticket." I sighed and hoped that I was wrong about tonight, and him, and about some other things I knew too. _

"_Is there anything I can help you with, ladies?" a smiling waiter said to us. We hadn't ordered yet, partly because we weren't here to eat, but mostly because even if I was hungry, with all the butterflies in my stomach I doubted I could eat anything. _

_Carrie smiled up at him and simply said, "No, not yet, we are waiting for the show to start." I laughed lightly and felt just a little bit better. _

"_oh, well, don't let me interrupt your conversation, when you are ready just signal me whenever you're ready and I'll be here to take your orders and help you with anything you might want."_

"_Anything, huh?" Carrie was in full flirt mode now and I kicked her under the table she was here for MY moral support, not to get herself a future while I destroyed mine. I admit it, I was being overly selfish, but she had spent an entire day of shopping, getting new hair-dos and make-up saying how I should put myself first and let the world fix itself for once. "I think I'll take you up on that." She smiled at the waiter and then looked at me clearly pleased that I was standing up for myself. Then she froze looking over my shoulder._

"_Did they get here?" I asked in a hurried whisper. I was sitting with my back to the entrance of the restaurant and we were far off in a crowded corner where I knew he'd never seat a date at. _

_Carrie simply nodded and I felt that my heart just got broken in a place that it was still unbroken._

_End flashback._

"Would you stop with the accusations? It wasn't a real date, I just saw her and she was kind of blue, I worry about her too, she is your friend as much as mine, I don't like to see her suffer. If anything happened was because one thing led to another, but I never stopped thinking about you the entire time!"

I gagged, "oh, god. I don't even want to know what you guys did, or what was going through your mind! Please save what little is left of my sanity; and don't flip the friend card, ok? It was your fault!" I turned around and started putting more clothes in. I was already annoyed of being in the same room as him. This time he took it too far. I might have been distant for the past weeks, but it was no excuse for him to go and fuck my maid of honor of our first wedding.

Yes, the woman in the picture looking all cozy was Lily, the Lily that grew up with both of us and saw us break up and make up so many times. I knew it was a betrayal from her side, but he was in a relationship with me, he has some responsibility as well, he can't just blame her because she flashed her panties at him and he got in the mood. He should remember that his actions have consequences, and he should deal with them. And besides it had been going on for some time.

My cousin Nessie had just found out that she was pregnant and the past few weeks I had been thinking that with a relationship as unstable as ours we couldn't even think about starting a family. I had only spoken to Carrie about it. From all of our class we were the ones that were still unmarried. Although I wasn't so sure if that applied to me or not, but Carrie convinced me that someone as immature as both of us shouldn't be allowed to marry. I had laughed because it was true, I loved John with all of me, but we did pretty stupid things at times.

I finished packing and turned to him expecting him to be red in rage and ready to argue. I was honestly surprised to find him leaning against the wall and looking at me calmly.

"I know it was my fault, Lily would have never just betrayed you like that. I'm sorry, I don't know what's with me. I feel sometimes like we've gone as far as we could take it with our love. Sometimes I want to feel like I am doing things for the first time. It doesn't mean that I don't love you, or even that I love you less; just that.. I don't even know Bells. I am so very sorry. Please, lets try again, just like before, just like always. Don't leave." His chin touched his chest and he sighed, I knew that he had tears running down his cheeks and it hurt me.

Just then I heard Carrie's car pull up on our driveway and I knew I had to leave or she would drag me by my newly straight hair.

"I'm sorry; this is not like the rest of the times. I want to have a family; I want to have a future and something I can rely on. I'm sorry Jonathan. Just like you want to have new things in your life I want to start a life. I am ready for it and you are not."

"Give me time to be ready, please, just tell me what you want from me and I'll give it to you." he came from his place at the wall to stand between the bedroom door and I. he looked into my eyes like he was trying to understand me, like he was seeing me from the first time. And somehow he was. He was seeing the new me for the first time. And then I saw what Carrie saw. We were so immature. He still thought I was the same girl from college and high school. He can name everything he knows I like, he knows my reactions, he knows everything about me; but he doesn't know the adult me, he doesn't know that I want more than to have a perfect boyfriend that is also my best friend and has been for as long as I can remember.

I took my luggage from the bed and walked towards the door. I stopped in front of him and hugged him. "I'm sorry, I love you, but I can't just love you and be what you want me to be. I want more too, but we don't want more from the same things."

"We'll be back here in a few months again. I know we will and then we'll get marr-," he was cut off by Carrie's honking and I rushed out the door. "Bye, John."


	2. Chapter 2

Chaapter 2:  
"Hey, Care Bear" Carrie just looked at me expecting the waterworks to start.

Carrie was one of the best people of my life. We had met in college, while I studied English Lit., because it was one of my best subjects and nothing else called to me; Carrie was studying her dream career. She was an artist. Carrie and I had both been obligued to voluntarily sign up to help with a drama presentation. Macbeth. I love classics, don't get me wrong, but there is something about a non-romantic classic that just makes me shudder. Carrie was decorating the stage standing on a chair, when my clumsy self carrying a bunch of scripts and the director's annotations bumped into her. It's safe to say that she was in bed for the rest of the month, and I was banned from the theatre. Obviously someone as clumsy as me isn't good to be around when presenting a story like Macbeth. (_**A/N:**_ For those of you that don't know, they say Macbeth to be cursed since in every presentation some accidents happen, also they say saying the name itself is bad luck…)

Carrie was just ecstatic! She could still do all the arts work from home and she got me as a willing slave. That's overstating things. I felt so bad about what happened that I did everything for her, even when she told me she didn't need anything and that I should use my new free time on myself. I didn't have many friends that weren't friends with John at the same time. I grew up in a small town of Washington where everybody knew everybody, and the first time I left was when going to college to Phoenix.

While I was away everything collapsed. Mom and dad got divorced immediately and no matter how much I wanted to believe it wasn't true, I had to admit they were happier that way. By then I was used to break ups, but in my case I always knew I'd be back, or that john would return. This is the first time that I have no idea what is coming next and it's never happened to me before. I guess that security and comfort is something new for me. Who knew?

"You aren't making a mistake, Bella" Carrie said looking at my grimace and getting out of the car.

"I know, I- I know," I sobbed into her shoulder, "but what if he is right? What if this is where I belong. Hell, I know he is right!"

"Just because you feel comfortable in one place doesn't mean that you shouldn't look for something better. It's all about upgrades these days, baby." She was joking now. She, like my dad, wasn't one to deal with tears, and there had been plenty of them while I made my decision.

"Oh, Carrie! What would I do without you? Thank you for everything, really," I said hugging her.

"Wait! Don't! Well, never mind," she almost screamed. I looked at her surprised.

"What's wrong?"

"Umm, working overalls," she said a little bit embarrassed.

"Oh, psh. Don't worry about it! It's ok if I get a little bit dirty; I'm changing everything I am wearing anyways." I laughed.

She put my case in the car and with a last glance at the only place I felt like home we drove off.

"So," started, "I know that fashion and shopping are your enemies as much as mine, but why are you in such a state?" I asked curious. She wasn't one to dress like that for everything, although she really liked to.

"I stated a new collection. I'm really excited about it." She said turning to me with a smile.

"Why didn't you tell me? Now I'm taking up your time when you could be letting out all of your emotions on a canvas."

"Nonsense! And besides, you are part of my inspiration." She smiled wider then, but didn't turn to look at me. She knew that she would see my grimace. I was happy for her. She didn't get a hold on her muse easily but when she did she put a lot of effort into it, and it paid off. She was trying to become a teacher for middle school kids and for now she was living off what she made from her paintings. It was more than enough, but she wanted to give back. She didn't grow up on a lot of money and her first collection was destined to pay more of her family debts than her education even. But in a year's work she outdid herself and finished saving the money to pay her tuition and now was just enjoying life. Sometimes she said she felt like a retired old woman, so she wanted to work on something else, and teaching was something she liked to do.

What I wasn't happy for was that she knew this step in my life was going to be difficult and she was inspired by it. I knew I was going to love it; and I was sure that she was telling me now, and risking being shouted at and more tears, because she wanted me when she finally put it up in the Exposition to be there.

"Well, at least someone is going to be immediately happy about all of this." I sighed. "I'm glad it's you." I said looking out the window now. She wasn't one to hold back when she was upset about something, and she wanted me to be the same. Truth was something vital in our friendship.

"I'm sorry, I can stop it if you want, but I can tell you it isn't going to make you unhappy once you finally see it. I am sure it's going to make you feel stronger and realize that you are doing the right thing. I didn't' think you would appreciate finding out about it once I send you the invitation." She explained looking a bit sad. I guess she wasn't happy that I was her inspiration in this time.

"It's 'kay Carrie, I know you aren't just feeding off my pain," I said looking at her, "it's just that... well... this time around I am leaving, and I don't think that by the time you're done I'll be able to come here."

"Don't worry, I promise to open the exposition in Chicago, a few art galleries have asked me in the past to open there and I really want you to be there. Also I can't pas on the opportunity to stay at your new place and make you pay back for every time you stayed at mine." She laughed.

"Great! We'll have a sleep over, and we'll watch girly movies, and we'll mourn over ice cream." I was teasing her now.

"Hey, I thought you were leaving to mature, not go back into high school mode." She laughed too, "Just tell me again, why Chicago? You don't know anyone there, I guess that's the first step into starting from zero, but you could have gone to Florida with your mom, or back to Forks with your dad. You're gonna need to have someone you know now, you are going to need a shoulder to cry on." She said more serious now.

We had been over this topic for a while. I didn't want to go back to Forks because my dad was there, and although he would welcome me with his arms open, I wasn't in for the 'I told you so' speech. Florida was out of the question, mom was finally settled with her new husband, Phil, and I didn't want to see my mom in the newly wed's phase.

Chicago was a fresh start, was far enough from Phoenix that I couldn't just run to John in a few weeks when I started thinking that I was making the mistake of my life, like all the other times; and I had gotten a pretty good job offer there with the Chicago Tribune. It would give me the money to survive while I looked into a teacher's college and worked on being a teacher. I planned on having my schedule as filled as possible so that it left no time to think about him. Chicago had all the action of New York without being actually there.

"I told you already," I sighed, "I want to start fresh, and that means no connections, no old relatives, no one that can point a finger, and certainly no one that knows John."

"I know all that, but why do you have to hide when you are going to need friends."

"I'll make friends; I'm not some kind of alien. Don't worry about me, and besides you'll better visit soon. And I mean visit, not some kind of vacation to get more work done." I scolded her. She was a workaholic. She said she wasn't because she worked from home, and that was when I reminded her that it meant she NEVER stopped working. She was always sketching one thing or another, and then those small papers got lost in the mess of the study. They never actually made it anywhere far from the trash can. Each one of them was a waste of talent, because she didn't paint anything that wasn't perfect. That's why the fact that she was painting about all of this already didn't bother me much. And it also meant that she could see this time was different, this time I wouldn't just turn around and fall back into the routine. That gave me hope that I would make it, if she could see it so could I.

"You don't even have a roommate, you'll be living alone. Don't tell me you're going to make a social life with the old men that discuss the sports season from the newspaper," she laughed now. We had many things in common, and loathing any sport related event was one of them.

"Hey! Don't make fun of my interest in geriatrics!" I joked along.

Right then we arrived to the airport.

"Here you are. Remember to call me before you board the plane and right after you find a phone booth." With the last statement she gave me a look. I wasn't taking my cell phone with me, I didn't know what my new phone number would be, and I knew my address was sketched in a hidden part of my agenda that John couldn't find. Otherwise he'd be there looking for me, and I knew I'll just need a 'Hello' to go back to him.

"I promise I'll keep you posted. You too need to keep me posted if anything happens."

"And if you sit by a hot guy in the plane, do me a favor and try to get some. Please? Just try to make me proud; at least a bat of your eye lashes and a flirty comment. I want you to start having fun as soon as possible," she said feigning disappointment.

I laughed and promised I'd do my best. With a last laugh and a hug I was on my way to the check in line. I still had 2 more hours to wait before boarding and it was a good thing I left my cell-phone, listening to his voice wasn't something that would help much when I was alone.

Then I had three and a half more hours sitting in a plane surrounded by things that will definitely remind me of him. John was an accountant for a publisher. It was the perfect job for him; he loved crouching numbers and reading. The last like was something we shared in common. He was considered cool in school for being hot and intelligent; I, on the other side, was a nerd. But dating him gave me some privileges, and a new definition of 'nerdiness'.

"Hello Madam, what can I do for you today?" a pretty young girl greeted me from behind the counter.

"I know I'm a bit early, but I'd like to check in for the Chicago flight that leaves at 3:20PM." I said a bit embarrassed. I was sure people that left home tried to prolong the leaving as much as possible, and here I was running from home like it was fire.

"Not a problem, may I see your ticket and ID's?" she said with a smile.

I gave them to her and waited while she worked on the computer screen and weighted my luggage.

"One way ticket?" she said surprised.

"Yes, I'm not coming back." I said more for my benefit than for hers.

She looked at me with an apologetic smile and nodded knowingly. "Here you go," she said giving my documents back, "Enjoy your flight."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

I had already memorized each one of the ads in the waiting room for the plane. I was on my way to one of the duty free shops when something bumped into my thigh. As I looked to the side I only saw a very surprised looking little girl with wild black hair and black eyes, she looked to be about 7 or 8 years old.

"Sorry," she whispered.

"No problem sweetie!" I smiled at her, "Are you lost? Where are your parents?"

"they are over there," she said pointing at a couple that sat on the other side of the room and when they saw her smiled at me and beckoned her to where they were.

"I have to go," she sighed dramatically, letting her shoulders fall.

"Don't you want to go there?" I was surprised, I always like being with my mom, she was my best friend aside from _him_.

"No, that's my mom and her boyfriend. They talk all day long and I get bored. I was going to the shops to just look around. Where were you going?" she asked. She was clearly trying to prolong going back to sit by her mother.

"I was going to the shops too, but how about I sit with you for a while and talk? We can go latter to the shops with your mommy's permission." I conceded.

"Yey! What's you name?" She asked immediately as we made our way to where her parents sat?

"My name is Isabella, but you can call me Bella. What's yours?"

"I'm Lizzy. Where are you going?" she asked pulling her eyebrow together. "Have you been here long?"

I laughed, she clearly was tired of waiting for the plane to arrive and start boarding.

"I'm going to Chicago, and yes I've been here waiting for some time now. Do you know where you're going?" I wasn't sure if at that age she would be clear on where they were going, maybe she was going to Chicago as well, there weren't many people in the room by my exit gate, but I guess it was still early.

"I'm going there too! I go every summer for vacation to stay a few weeks with my dad, while mom goes to visit her relatives. This year James is coming with us." She said with a smile.

"Really? We must be in the same flight then!" I said happily thinking that maybe I could sit with her in the flight. It would take my mind off my problems talking and save me from the terror of having to flirt to please Carrie. She can read me like a book, and I wasn't in the mood for a speech right after landing.

I tried to make Lizzy talk most of the time. She seemed really intelligent and when she asked me why was I going I just gave her the little version: I had gotten a job.

"Aren't you sad to leave your friends here?" she asked me, maybe she thought I was some kind of social disaster or a heartless witch.

"Of course I am, but I want to work where I am going, and I'm trying to start fresh somewhere. Be somebody new, you know?"

"If you are someone else, can you still remember me?" she asked turning to me.

"Of course, it doesn't mean that I'll forget everybody." Sadly, I added to myself. Talking to Lizzy made me realize that I wanted to make a new life where I didn't have to worry about the past. I wanted to skip the pain and everything, I was trying to hide.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" she asked suddenly. I looked shocked at her because we weren't talking about anything remotely near relationships.

"No, I don't," I answered her sincerely.

"I'm sure you'll have one soon" she said with a wicked smile.

"Why do you think so? Can you see the future?" I laughed.

"You're very pretty. Pretty as my mom, and she finds boyfriends fast." She didn't look too happy about the last part, so I decided to talk about something that would make her happy. I remembered she seemed happy to be going to Chicago and asked her to tell me a little bit about the place. I had never been here. My interview was conduced via internet. I didn't even know what my boss was like. He was, apparently, too busy to make it. It can be a good and a bad thing being busy. Either the business is going well or he is a selfish bastard that doesn't care about his team.

"I like the Zoo," Lizzy said bringing me back from my train of thought, "dad always takes me there. He asks me to pick which cage I like better so that they put me in it. My brother used to get scared when he told him that, but I know he is joking." She said with a longing look.

"You have a brother?" I looked around me trying to find him; maybe she was playing with when we met.

"Not anymore, he is not with us anymore." She said and looked at her lap. I was smart enough not to ask anything else about him.

"_Attention passengers waiting for Flight number AC402 destined to Chicago, please board through Exit gate number 7"_

"Elizabeth! Lizzy!" the woman that had waved to us before called. "Honey, that's us. Say bye to your friend and come to the line."

"That's my plane too; I'll go with you if that's ok. But I am not sure we will be sitting together." I said standing up with my purse.

"That's ok. I guess we never made it to the shops." She said making a face.

I felt bad instantly; she seemed to have been interested in that part of the fun.

"How about you and me go shopping once we're in Chicago? We can also stop for ice cream or something yummy." I proposed.

"How will you find me?" I had to give it to her, I had no idea. I started thinking. I knew my new address, but I didn't know my phone number. And I don't think her mother would be too happy about giving me her address or phone number, since I had just met her. And judging by the glances that James guy was throwing me, he wasn't too happy about the little girl bonding with me either.

"How about I give you my address and you write to me when you ask permission to your parents? I can't give you my phone number yet because I don't know it myself. But I do know my work phone number. You can reach me there and we'll get in touch."

"Elizabeth Masen, get back here now!" the guy screeched at her.

She shuddered slightly and sighed, "That's me. Nice to meet you Bella." She said while I gave her my address drabbled on a piece of paper.

"Nice to meet you too miss Lizzy" I smiled at her and then waved at her mom while she ran back to her.

I wasn't a big fan of crowds, and I could very well wait sitting while the line got checked. After all I was in no hurry. I remembered that I had to call Carrie and made my way quickly to the phone booths.

"Hello," she said in a groggy voice. I had forgotten that she had worked all night long in the paintings inspired by me.

"Sorry to wake you Carrie, the plane is leaving and I didn't want to make you mad already. I'll call back when I get there." I said smiling.

"Wait! Have you met any hot guys yet? I mean, you still have some time, but I hope you haven't spent all of the last three hours looking at magazines." She said in a hurry.

I laughed and told her a bit about Lizzy. She sounded disappointed when she asked me if I would reconsider teaching high school and go for English class for toddlers…

"It's not a bad idea; at least those won't question what I teach them, they knew nothing before they got to class anyways." I laughed and said goodbye. She hung up almost asleep saying something about doing what she would do in my shoes if she saw a hot member of the crew, the plane had auto pilot anyways.

I walked, still laughing at my sex-withdrawn friend, towards the only three people remaining in the line.

It was a good thing I had been on planes before. I don't think I could have turned back to my natural skin colour if the metal detector beeped again when it was by my chest. Some people don't really care, but I went from cream to crimson in an instant the first time it happened. Now when I travel I wear bras that don't come with any metal, or that can be taken off. They are more comfortable anyways.

I made my way to my seat trying to bump into as least people as possible. I could feel someone looking at me and it did nothing for my balance. I got to my seat without seeing Lizzy or her mom. It was a good thing I had given her my address before. I guess she would be my only friend in Chicago for now. If Carrie had heard me say this, would have called me pathetic. Well most people would call pathetic anyone whose only friend was an eight year old. I called myself lucky. Lizzy would make no assumptions; she wouldn't question my past and hopefully wouldn't push me to date. Hopefully. I had to admit I wasn't so sure about the last one.

My seat was the middle one, great. I guess my bad luck doesn't seem to ease up whether I start from zero or not. The one by the window was already filled, so I couldn't play dumb and sit there "by mistake" Carrie had done it once and totally got away with it. But me, being me, I guess I'll take someone's seat that isn't having a very nice day or has no knowledge of chivalry. They'll probably take me to court or stop the plane from leaving.

I reached up to put my bag in the compartment. As I closed the small door my elbow knocked something hard and I hear a gasp of pain. I knew what it was. It wasn't the first time it happened; I had suffered of compulsory gym class for four years in class. It never went away. Eventually people learned to stay clear, but a stranger couldn't have known. I felt myself turning red in a nanosecond and turned to the stranger. My eyes immediately found a pair of furious looking black eyes set in a tan skin.

"Hello to you too," the stranger said bitterly. I bit my lip and looking at my feet mumbled a sorry.

He tapped his foot impatiently and I realized a line was forming behind him. I sat instantly but he stood there. Then I realized I wasn't in my seat and it hit me that this guy would sit next to me for the next three and a half hours. Great, just great. There was no doubt that the man was good looking. If Carrie probed me she would know for sure, and I couldn't count as my flirty comment a broken nose.

I wasn't afraid of her sex speech, I was afraid of the way she would get back at me for me shyness/clumsiness. The second part wasn't entirely my fault. I didn't set a record to be beat every day counting the number of accidents, although it wouldn't be a bad idea. However Carrie didn't care. I guess I should start looking for bars frequently visited by single guys once I got settled. At least it'd give me a head start on the way she would get back at me.

I sat in my rightful seat and hoped that the guy would be some kind of masochist and wouldn't act like an ass for the rest of the flight.

He sat gracefully and without a side glance started typing in a very modern looking laptop. For a second I wondered if he was typing a letter to his lawyer. I mentally kicked myself and stopped being paranoid. I wasn't the center of the universe. Maybe the guy had important business. I cut my eyes to my left and looked at the person sitting by the window. He looked like a teenager. Well, his clothing did; he was playing a video game and some shouted music escaped from his earphones. I didn't have a clear view of his face. I didn't want to jinx it. One broken now in the 15 first minutes in the airplane was more than enough. Not my record, but I didn't want to risk beating it.

I reached in front of me and pulled the paper with the security measures. I wasn't personally afraid of flights, I was afraid for the people that were stuck with me in a plane. But I hoped that the previous incident was the first and last one of the flight. By the time I had finished reading it everyone was settled and the plane started moving. A flight attendant took a mic by the front of the aisle and began explaining what I had just read. I wasn't so sure about some of the measures. There was no water between Chicago and Pheonix and it seemed that most of the examples in the book were somewhat related to an ocean or would work better in water. It made me feel uneasy but I beat it down with the thought that thousands of people travel similar routes every day and that it was normal.

We were the third plane to take flight and once the plane was in the air I did my best to keep my mind in blank. I needed a distraction, so I asked for a copy of a newspaper or magazine. To my surprise I was brought a copy of the Chicago times. I thanked her honestly and started reading the section that I would be a part of: Living. I definitely had to get a life as soon as I got there. Hopefully Lizzy would be allowed to hang out with me from time to time.  


* * *

_**A/N: so guys give me your thoughts, should i continue it? ban myself from fan-fiction? what do you think. i know i am being awfully slow but i want you to meet Bella, i want to first show you the way she thinks and some funny examples are the way to go. don't worry I'll introduce everyone else afterwards. after all what would life be without Edward?**_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

"So, is it just me, or you greet everybody with a blue nose?" Ben laughed.

I had turned already all shades of red that my body could manage. We had finally started talking after he decided to make fun of how I was giving him special privileges for about half an hour just because of my guilt. He started slightly taking my arm rest and after 2 minutes I gave it to him entirely. What else could I do? The guy had already a bloody nose and was restricted to a dangerous proximity of my bad luck. After 15 minutes or so he put the laptop in the arm rest and started typing away with the laptop taking about half of my personal space. I just let him do it because, well… I felt guilty, nothing new there, huh? After a while he closed the laptop and asked me of I could hold it for him for a second. When I said that it wouldn't be a problem he asked me to try and not elbow it, for it contained all of his files and they were apparently "about matters of death or life".

Then I realized why he wanted me to hold the laptop, they had started passing around the meals and drinks of the trip. Great. Guess I'll have no dinner; he'll probably ask me if, since I wouldn't be able to eat with his laptop on my lap, he could take mine.

I started thinking, trying to find a way out of it. We still had about 2 more hours of flight and so far I had rested nothing at all.

The food came and it remained untouched on my tray. Almost by the time they were about to retire the service Ben turned to me and glared. I was ready to apologize, again, when he started laughing. I was shocked. What's with this guy?

"I've got to give it to you," he said laughing harder. "I had a bet that you would snap about 5 minutes ago and yet here you are like nothing is wrong. I am so sorry. My boss would fire me in the moment if he saw me behave like that."

I looked at him.

"Here, give me that," he said extending his arm and lifting the laptop, "You are my new hero. Stop feeling guilty, it could happen to anyone."

And so we started laughing and talking about how _it_ always happened to _me_.

There was about one hour remaining to the flight when he asked me if the greeting was for everyone, and if I had some kind of contract with a plastic surgeon for those first meetings. I laughed at my clumsiness right along.

"No, it doesn't always happen at first sight, but everyone that hangs around for long enough gets into a fair amount of accidents."

"Are you going to Chicago or is it just a stop in the way?" he asked me with obvious interest.

"I am moving there, I got a really good job offer." I realized that it was the only excuse that I could give people, and it wasn't even a valid one. I bet I could find better offers in Phoenix, but I had to try and at least fool the rest if I couldn't hide the truth from myself.

"I'm sorry, I haven't even asked your name." he said apologetically. "I'm Ben, Ben Cheney," I shook his hand and introduced myself.

"Were you in business in Phoenix?" I asked curious

"You could say that, I'm still working right here in the plane." He looked around then; his eyes got fixed on someone and quickly returned to our conversation, "where will you be working?"

"I'll be working as a member of the team of editors for the Living section of the Chicago Times," I said with a proud smile.

"Really? Do you know anyone there or are you entirely new?" he asked more interested.

"I don't know anyone; I won't even have a roommate in my new apartment. I was hoping to be too busy during the first few days with the unpacking to notice the lack of social life. I will also have to be familiar with the way the newspaper works. The business is the same, but I'm sure the way they do things is different from my previous job."

"I know someone there!" he said suddenly, "I don't know exactly what section she works at, but it couldn't hurt. She is a great girl. I'm sure you guys will get along fast. Her name is Angela, Angela Webber," he said with a smile. I got the idea that he wanted to know Angela better than he did. "I'll ask her to find you up within the office. It shouldn't be too hard."

"Will you?" I asked hopeful, "That'd be wonderful. I need someone to show me around the city as well, I met someone in the airport and I'm afraid I owe her a shopping trip. I don't want to get lost while I'm out." I wondered then if Angela wouldn't mind giving me a break of the dating. I really was going to need time and take it slow if I wanted to succeed this time around; and if Carrie was coming in a couple of months I had to start working on moving on with my life as soon as possible. The other times when we broke up, for one reason or another, I always stayed with her. Since her schedule is really flexible she was with me all day long, whether pacing my rage at John or passing me tissue box after tissue box. All those other times it was just about time. I was never one to scream at the top of my lungs: 'This is the last time I want to see you!' because I knew we'd be back, but the past few months have changed me a lot. So, I decided it was time to grow up; I didn't want to give John an ultimatum because if he was capable of maturing he shouldn't need me to say it to him. He should just mature, grow the fuck up and stop horsing around with his college buddies. I said I was leaving for good, and I was going to try my best to not go back on my word.

"No problem," Ben said after a while, I guess he was distracted again with his looking around. We were in a plane, if he was keeping an eye on somebody, how far could that person go? We were locked here for at least another hour.

"I guess I should let you catch up on all the rest and peace you missed because of me. Don't worry I won't draw on your face or anything. You should rest for a bit. There is about one more hour of flight." He said smiling.

"Actually I hadn't thought of the possibility of you drawing on my face, I guess I still have things to worry about other than you taking up all of my personal space." I laughed a bit. I put the pillow behind my neck and tried to relax one muscle at a time. It wasn't hard because of all the emotional stress previous me leaving the house, but I still felt a bit jumpy. Deep down I hoped that John would magically turn up and that just this time I could go back to him knowing that it wouldn't happen again. That this time we would really try and make it work, but I knew it wouldn't happen; and if it did, it wouldn't be for my benefit because we would go back to the old routine.

Ben started typing and the steady rhythm of the keys and the silence of the plane helped me fall into a sleep-like status. I was aware of my surrounding. I could hear voices and had the knowledge of where I was, but I couldn't actually pinpoint what they were saying. It wasn't a bad feeling: relaxing but not quite like sleep. I guess being surrounded by strangers makes me nervous and I can't really give in to sleep.

Sadly my mind wasn't as shut as my other senses. I started going back into the conversation I had with John just before I left.

The way, protective even, that he spoke of Lily. How "she would never do that". For once this time he took the blame, and I didn't know if it was a good or a bad sign. It could mean that he was finally maturing, or at least some sense coming into his mind. It could have meant that he felt for her more than he actually felt for his other play-toys. Other thing that bothered me is that I hadn't talked to Lily. I had not seen her after that night.

_Flashback_

_Are they here yet? When are they showing up? Will they show up? What if they recognize me?_

_Questions were shooting through my mind without giving myself time to even think about an answer._

_Carrie nodded and confirmed my fears without a word. Yes. Yes they got here. Yes, they showed up. Yes, they both lied to me. I used my cup of water to look behind me. I tried fixing it so that the right light would fall and it would give me the best possible view, but no matter how much I moved it the image was still the same. Blurry, upside down and stretched like the movie Lord of the Rings. _

_Lily was wearing a brown knee length dress. She seemed to have her hair up in a conservative bun. They sat in a dark corner side by side, and even though I knew that this was a date, this was proof that he planned it. Maybe we should have asked by his last name at the entrance and wait for them at their table. It would have been funny as hell to see their faces when they found both of us there. They always said that Carrie and I were joined by the hips, and that if I hadn't been dating John I would have been dating her. i guess we could play the 'double date' card for real. It was a stupid joke, it wasn't even funny. Just like that time that his college buddy, Roger, asked if Carrie and I would kiss in front of them... they were drunk, it's true, but it was still stupid._

_After 5 minutes and a glance at Carrie I decided it was time to move. Hopefully they would be too focused in their date that they wouldn't notice me. Also my new hair-do and clothes helped cover my identity. In other circumstances I would have been laughing my ass off. I felt like a female James Bond hiding after tables to take pictures of the bad guy. Pictures, that reminded me of something._

_I was calm, surprisingly. I guess that since this time I had more plans that just hide at Carrie's until he came with red eyes and a seven-days-old unshaven face, I was more confident. I was also broken in a new place. He had never gone out with any of my friends; even when I did go out with a few of his friends. _

_You see me here broken while looking at them smile and share a menu, but the truth is he also had to spy on me at some point. He also left our home and stayed at his friends' place because of me. Some would call what we did getting even, and somehow they were right. We didn't cheat on each other just because the other one did it the previous time; we did it because no relationship was perfect. We had known each other since we were kids, our great-grandfathers probably knew each other and this history __together was good and bad. _

_Good because in one blink I could tell you what he was thinking and what he was about to do or say. Bad because eventually the thrill of the first time went amiss and words were missing in the relationship. Knowing everything about the other gave us little to talk about. Maybe some comments about what our friends were up to; maybe about our jobs or any play that we went to watch recently. Sometimes I felt like we were strangers, not because we didn't know each other, but because some awkward cloud covered us and the silence was deafening._

_I quietly prepared my camera. I turned off the flash and was ready to ask Carrie to take the pictures for me when I realized she hadn't said a word since they got here. I glanced up at her surprised and she was looking at me with a bemused face._

"_You're used to this. Aren't you?" she asked sounding sorry, "you're used to play this game of zigzags, where sometimes you're the bad guy and sometimes you're the victim. I know you aren't an angel, but you're better than this, Bella. Why do you guys hurt each other like that? It's like you're so used to loving each other that it doesn't matter anymore, you grew tiered of love." She had a tear running down her cheek then and I wondered how screwed up could I be, that I watched this with a straight face. Carrie was hurt by just watching me in this situation._

"_You don't have to stay Carrie. You've helped me more than I can thank you for. I'll be fine for the next part, I was mostly afraid of the shock, but now I have made up my mind." I didn't want Carrie see me humiliated again. I knew she was in pain too._

"_You don't see what I see, Bella," she said shaking her head sadly, "I see that he loves you, there is no questioning that. The way he looks at her is nothing in comparison to how he cares for you when you need him. I also see how much you love him, you love him so much that you're willing to hurt yourself just to play his sick love game. Don't you realize that neither of you wins?" she was crying harder now. She was capable of getting her words out without chocking, but I could see it was taking a great effort. "I have never felt for anyone the way you feel about each other. Other than the love for my family and my friends I have never been so deeply in love. Lust is something that is always in me, but I see you guys and I wonder what I would give to feel that way, and to have someone return it."_

"_Carrie, I'm sorry for making you do this. It's ok if you want to leave, I don't want you hurt just because of our stupid, fucked up relationship."_

"_It's ok, let's get this over with and get the hell out of here. I think I'll pass on the waiter. The memories are not worth the sex." Without another word she took the camera from my hands and we started taking pictures, making it look like we were talking pictures of each other and the 2 of us together. We even got a picture where we were in the front and they were in the background._

_I promised I would frame that picture, and not only that, I would one day smile at it while looking at the memories. Just like John was in the background of the picture, he was in the background of my life. I could never erase him because of the many things I owed him, but I had to get on with my life and use the past as an example in my search for a better future._

_End Flashback_

Suddenly I felt the pressure start to change inside the plane. Some kids were crying saying that their ears hurt. I empathized with them, mines used to hurt all the time, then once I sat with a retired pilot and he taught me how to breathe the right way so it wouldn't happen again.

I wondered how Lizzy was. I didn't want to see her in pain.

I looked at my right and saw Ben looking around like he was feeling sorry for the kids too. He kept looking at the place he had been looking before and my curiosity got the best of me.

"Looking for somebody?" I asked stretching my neck to see over the seat in front of me.

"No," he answered nonchalantly, "I'm not looking for anyone. Everything I need to see is right here." He said gesturing to the open window on my other side, and I wondered if he was trying to play it cool or I was being paranoid again.

The sign to fasten out seatbelt lit on and I obliged immediately. I was a bit sad that I couldn't see much of the city because of my seat.

The plane landed and everyone broke into applause of recognition for the crew. I clapped too and smiled at Ben.

"Only one accident in the entire flight. I guess it could have been worse."

He smiled back and gave me a thumbs up.

We slowly made our way through the plane to the small door and thanked the flight attendants again. As I stepped on the stairs I realized that it was a bit colder than I expected, and also cloudy. I took a deep breath and started to make my way carefully down the stairs. No need to tempt my luck with the same crowd, there would be plenty other times and places to turn myself into a human landslide.

* * *

**i liked writing this chapter. check out my poll if you guys have time. i'll update soon, but during the week i dont have a lot of time because i have school and work.** _bye!_


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** hi guys!

so, if you all are a bit disappointed at the end of this chapter remember i warned you. nothing much happens here. she gets settled and stuff.

what else?, oh, right: if you guys have any suggestions no matter how silly they are let me know. i am writing this as much for you as it is for me. if you don't want to write it down send me a message, if i take the idea you'll be the first to know, if i don't i'll give you an explanation on why, or maybe i'll just change it a little bit. anyways, my point is that reviews do mean a lot but if you find anything at all that is kind of random, mention it.

just ask away, but be reasonable

so... here goes nothing:

* * *

Chapter 5:

As I reached the luggage pick up in the airport I realized I hadn't seen Ben. I looked around for him, but he was no where in sight. At the same time I tried seeing Lizzy or her mother but no such luck either. So much for starting a social life with the people from the plane…

Five minutes later the luggage started to show up and I waited patiently for my black suitcase. As people bent forward to pick theirs I looked to see I maybe now Ben or Lizzy would show up and something hit me then: if I was so preoccupied about total strangers whom I had just met, what would it be like when I had no one? I could feel the traces of the unsupportable loneliness start to show up and the pain in my chest grew worse. I guessed that my phone bills from calling Carrie would open up and roll down the floor like ancient manuscripts. Part of the purpose of moving was to reinvent myself, however I didn't want to lose everything about me. I was only hoping to change the ways I carry a relationship, and the people that I date.

My luggage then appeared and I reached for it. At the same time another hand got a hold of it and lifted it easily up. That was surprising; I thought it was heavier than that. I looked up and saw Ben with a smile.

"This is yours, I presume?"

"It is. Thanks!" I smiled and lifter the handler.

"Just trying to make up for my teasing in the plane. I don't want any comments about me in the event you meet my boss." He said, and then added with a grin, "I think you guys have a lot in common."

"Hum, setting me up. Aren't you?" I said with a mocking face.

"One never knows. Chicago is a big city, but all in all, it is a very small world."

I laughed at his very insightful remark.

He looked toward the exit as a couple with a small kid was leaving. I couldn't see the kid, but the mother, in the distance, seemed somehow familiar.

"I have to go!" he said in a hurry, "This is my card. I'll talk to Angela about you. Give me a call if you have any problems adjusting to the new city and all. I work with a couple of girls that wouldn't mind a shopping partner." He said with a wink handing me his card.

I thanked him and waved goodbye.

I read the card; I was surprised I didn't actually ask him what his profession was. I was intrigued now. It read:

_Ben Cheney_  
'_Personal Assistant'_

I didn't say who he was assisting, or what business was it related to. It did have a phone, a cell phone number and a fax number. More than that I would need, for sure.

Then I remembered in the hurry he left, maybe that's why he was looking around in the plane. Perhaps he was making sure his boss was settled and didn't need anything. It's strange they didn't seat close to each other, though. Either way, I was glad he sat with me. He seemed like a cool guy, and he promised to find me a friend within the newspaper.

I started to make my way to the exits praying that taxis here weren't as hard to get as everyone said. It was almost 8PM already. I was dead tired form all the things that happened throughout the day and the flight itself. I had to still get to my apartment and talk to the owner about last minute details and pick up my key. Other thing too: I had no clue in what condition the apartment would be in. I didn't know much about the person that lived there before me, only that it was a girl about my age and she had a cat. The 'cat' part, alone, gave the chills from just thinking about it. Who knows what I'll find in it? Living with John made me a neat freak, and it was another aspect that I didn't want to change about myself.

I reached the automatic doors and a cool breeze made my hair stand on end. Without any other thought I turned on my heel and headed to the washroom, in all the thinking and looking around I had forgotten to change my clothes. Most of the clothes I bought with Carrie were especially for this weather. That was part of the rush in packing and leaving. He may have been suspicious of my choice of shopping and put the pieces together.

I walked into the washroom and found it empty. I locked myself into the biggest stall and opened my carry on and found my clothes. I picked a light blue sweater and a darker shade of blue for the t-shirt. On top of it I put on my favourite zip-up weather and my New Yorker Jacket.

I looked hot, despite the air plane hair, and the red rims around my eyes. With one last look and a sad smile I walked out. I don't know where I read that you should dress the way you feel. If this fact was common knowledge then I guess it would be easier to make assumptions about people at first sight.

My problem right now was other. It wasn't so much that I was happy, because I wasn't; it was more that I wanted to be happy. When I was with others I tried to push myself into the conversation and wonder about silly and insignificant details. That way I could forget all the questions bouncing around in my head about what I was doing.

I came out of the washroom and hoped that now, once the crowd of the incoming plane was gone, perhaps it'd be easier to grab a taxi and get to my bed faster.

My bed, I wondered if he was sleeping alone in it or not. I wondered if he was sleeping at all. I still had to call Carrie to let her know I was fine, and then I thought I should just wait until I'm at home and it'd save me a call.

I hailed a cab holding on tightly to my luggage. I wasn't really in the mood to get robbed so soon. I was getting tired of waiting and was about to go to the bus stop to get directions when a cap pulled up and I signaled the driver to open the back compartment. He came around and helped me put my things in. I got in the cab and took out my agenda to give him the address. As I was about to put it back in my purse I found something I hadn't looked at in a long time.

It was a jasmine. I was sure it was pink once, but now it looked brownish in a not very appealing way. John had given it to me in one of his surprise visits to my job. It was before he started seeing Lily. He used to come by from time to time when he thought I needed someone to talk, and perhaps talking about things in my office made him less of my boyfriend/husband and back to the best friends we were.

I felt the car start to move and I tried paying attention to the way. I had to learn the drive from the airport to my house for when I had a car. I couldn't pay taxis everywhere, because my paycheck wasn't that good. And public transportation everyone told me was a hassle. I saw lights flash by and neon signs for a while. Then we were in the highway and other than the cars passing by there wasn't much to see. I decided to close my eyes for a while. Just then the cab driver turned on the radio and I opened my eyes in shock. It was an oldie station. The music playing was from that group Abba and a version of a song I liked a lot. This version was in Spanish. I had heard it before, but now it brought memories of that time in high school when the cool kids, including John, started looking at oldie stations and listening to their music because it sounded 'radical'. I know, somewhere along the way, being a math nerd wasn't such a bad thing. It was almost comical how different things worked out.

Math had never been my subject. I wasn't bad at it because I put a lot of effort into it. By the time it became complicated I had been with John for so long that we could study and actually get work done without interrupting for the thrill of making out.

We weren't fond of wild parties but that changed fast in college. John met his new crowd and I was dragged along to their games and stuck with the cheerleaders while they played. After I met Carrie I started spending time with her and I tried to see less and less of the jocks. They weren't bad guys deep down, but we were of different thinking. John had like a double personality. He was my John when we were with our old friends, but once the others showed up he would act louder and be more of a prick. I told him how I felt and it changed a bit, but I also saw less of him in company of his friends.

A few months before we graduated he asked me to marry him. Mom wasn't happy about it, but she realized that we had been 'married' for a long time now. It wasn't much of an event. Friends and family only, back at home. Carrie was there but didn't want to be a bridesmaid because she wanted to see me during the entire ceremony. Months later I learned why: she made a beautiful painting of us, one in front of the other. The look in my face wasn't other than pure love. John had his hand on my cheek and looked down at me adoringly. His other hand held mine on his heart and I remembered the words that flowed between us.

'It's beating fast.' I told him.

'It always does that when you're around, when you look at me, when they mention your name.' he told me then, 'please, don't let it stop.' Then a tear rolled down my cheek and we were hugged by our parents.

I realized I now had tears dry on my cheek. Where had that man gone? Those two years I had been happier than I could ever imagine. We had some fights, but not as often, or bad, as before. Then things went back to how they used to be. I guess he felt like he should spice up the relationship and picking up stupid habits was the way to go. Not long afterwards he cheated and I asked for a divorce.

The lights started to be more frequent on the other side of the highway. As we passed under a bridge I realized that much of my situation hadn't sunk in. All highways and airports looked almost the same, but soon I'd be in an entire unknown place where no one would be to welcome me home and be glad that I was back. I would have to make my own welcoming dinner and make my bed warm myself.

I paid more attention now that we were in the city. There wasn't much to see, lots of bars and shops. Hotels, and there seemed to be a lot of wind. The cab made a left and kept going for about 5 minutes until it made a right turn and stopped mid-block. In the last turn he lost me, all streets looked pretty much the same. I made a mental note to pick up a local map when I went shopping tomorrow. Luckily I wasn't due at my new job for about three more days. It'll give me time to rehearse a few routes so I wouldn't be lost or late. I also had to watch the time in case I had any accidents, which would happen more often than not.

I got out of the cab at the same time the driver took out my luggage. I looked around for the apartment building number and found it across the street. I paid my fare and made my way up.

It was almost 9PM when I knocked on the manager's door and I was almost falling on my feet.

The lady was pretty nice considering the time. Her name was Wilma and she was wearing a long purple robe. She gave me the keys without complaints and offered to show me around the building. I had chosen this one because it had a swimming pool and a gym right in it. I knew that working in the newspaper was going to give me a lot of fast food and sitting around reading. I gently declined her offer and told her that some other time I would be up to it, right now I just wanted to go take a shower and go to bed. Never mind eating. I guess I'll be starting an eating disorder with my new life. Way to go!

"I understand, honey," she said with a smile, "Tomorrow we'll do the rest of the paperwork in my office. Welcome."

My apartment was on the 3rd floor. High enough to get some sun light, but not enough to escape the street noise. I opened the door and dropped my bags. The lady smiled and showed me the rooms. I had a solarium, a bedroom, living room and dinner room, and a pretty big kitchen. Immediately I visualized how I would fix it up. There weren't many things inside, and the bed I had requested hadn't arrived yet. I guess the living room sofa would do. I was so tired I could sleep in the floor and find it like a cloud in heaven. I closed the door behind Wilma and went to the balcony. It seemed pretty big. The building in front was slightly to the side so it gave me a little view of the houses in the neighborhood.

I took a shower and went to sleep in my 'comfy' old couch. I had set my head in the pillow when I remembered Carrie. I gave her a quick call that went something like: "hey, it's me. I'm alive, kind of. I'll call you tomorrow and give you the rundown. Bye."

Without and answer I hung up not caring much about her response. I dragged myself to the couch and fell asleep.

* * *

so, i warned you guys, nothing much happened in this chapter. lots of background info and her thinking.

no description of her new place because she was too tired to notice anything. tomorrow will be another day.... heheh one day of her life took me 5 chapters. dang!

oh well... thats just the intro.

we'll get there..

oh, and the song she listened was Chiquitica by ABBA, here are the lyrics

Chiquitita

Chiquitita, tell me what's wrong  
You're enchained by  
your own sorrow  
In your eyes  
There is no hope  
for tomorrow  
How I hate to  
see you like this  
There is no way  
you can deny it  
I can see  
that you're  
oh so sad, so quiet

Chiquitita, tell me the truth  
I'm a shoulder  
you can cry on  
Your best friend  
I'm the one  
you must rely on  
You were always  
sure of yourself  
Now l see you've  
broken a feather  
I hope  
we can patch it up  
together

Chiquitita  
You and I know  
how the heartaches  
come and they go  
and the scars  
they're leavin'  
You'll be dancin'  
once again  
And the pain will end  
You will have  
no time for grievin'

Chiquitita  
You and I cry  
but the sun  
is still in the sky  
and shining above you  
Let me hear you  
sing once more  
like you did before  
Sing a new song  
Chiquitita  
Try once more  
Like you did before  
Sing a new song  
Chiquitita


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Poetry from Yoanna Dimitrova, age 14. Featured in the Young Voices'08 Magazine

Of course, it all still belongs to Stephenie Meyer…

* * *

Chapter 6:

I woke up with a killing headache and a sore back. Where the hell had I crashed? I knew I hadn't been drinking the night before but I was hopping that if it _was_ a hangover I had had some fun last night. I rolled on my back and fell to the floor. Grabbing on for dear life on the cushions only made them fall on top of me, instead of shield my fall.

OH right. I was in my new house. I couldn't call it home yet. I didn't even remember in what part of the house I had fallen asleep. I noticed it was still early, there were no curtains and the lights of the rising sun woke me up. My apartment faced north. I had considerable amount of sunlight throughout the day considering that I was as north as you could get without actually leaving the country.

I covered my face with the fallen cushion and groaned. I had to get curtains very, VERY soon. I wanted to sleep in sometimes. I realized the day of work I had ahead of me. There were zero groceries at home. I needed to buy some supplies for my home office; I needed a map and a list of shops near by where I could get the essentials. I hoped that Wilma could help me with the last one. I wasn't very hungry yet because of my headache, but I would be very soon.

I reluctantly stood up and looked around. The living room seemed a lot bigger than it did last night. The floors were shiny and I liked them very much. I walked towards the part of the living room destined to be the dining room and from there into the solarium. It was of about 6m squared. There were some shelves on the wall but I had to add many more. My books wouldn't fit there, and I needed them near and in order for my references while working. I tended to add many quotes from classics into my work; it gave them the feeling of being insightful without overwhelming the reader.

The solarium wasn't part of the balcony and the windows from floor to ceiling were something that I loved. I could see myself sitting on the floor reading and drinking orange juice. That last thought made me thirsty. I was an orange juice addict. I drank about a litre a day, and other liquids. I wasn't a fan of food, but fruit juices were my treat.

I left the room and headed for the kitchen hopping that some magical force had left a buffet on my table. I wasn't disappointed when I saw the empty room. No even water was there in the fridge. I didn't need a list of groceries to buy. It'd be easier to write down the things that I did NOT need. I walked out through the second door of the kitchen that led into the hall. I walked by the front door and decided it was time to move my bags. Last night I had only took my carry on with me to the washroom and used what was strictly necessary. I wore an only t-shirt to sleep because I couldn't bother with trying to look for my pyjamas. I passed by the washroom and looked inside to see if I remembered everything in it. The counter was of a dark green colour imitating marble, the floors and walls were of a gray stone imitation, and the tub was wide and white. It looked pretty clean, but until I got my own hands in it I wouldn't stand barefoot in it.

Right in front of it was another walk-in closet. I like that about the place, it had a LOT of storage space, and I would use every inch of it. A few steps further was the door to the master bedroom although seeing it that there was only one bedroom I didn't know why they would call it the "master bedroom", well whatever, I wanted my space for some time. I hoped that I would do well enough with my pay check that I didn't have to rent a place with a room mate or in a bad neighbourhood. I was sure that there would be nights when I'd come back from work pretty late. I thought the same about my previous job and it proved to be true most of the times. Especially when something happened in another section and our section had to take over and come up with some sort of special edition that took up a lot of space. (_**A/N:**__ I'm doing no research whatsoever, I don't know if this is how it actually works there, or not, but where I worked it was like that…_)

The bedroom was painted in a light lilac, and surprisingly I liked it. I wasn't very kind of colours other than ivory and off-white, but this one I didn't seem to mind. The bed had been taken out, as I requested and there were marks in the wall of places where pictures hung once. I only thought of the many paintings I had from Carrie and where would they look best. My family pictures would be on a shelf in the solarium where I could see them while I worked. I decided it was time to clean up the house and me. I went to get decent to go buy some breakfast. I wasn't sure what should I wear and I had no TV to look at the weather report. I went to the balcony to get an idea and see what everyone else was wearing. I wasn't giving in to peer-pressure or anything, but it would suck if none of my new clothes were acceptable here. The streets seemed empty and I remembered it was a Saturday; of course I was the only one that had no curtains in her apartment. I got leggings and a simple blue dress that had checkers in a darker shade. I was grabbing my purse and jacket when a light knock startled me. I wasn't expecting visit. I was really hungry and the smell of breakfast seemed to be oozing from the other apartments into my wide alert senses. I opened the door with a fake smile that turned real very fast as I saw Wilma standing with a tray and breakfast on my door.

"Wilma! Good morning, please come in." I greeted her and made way to let her through.

"Oh, I didn't know you had plans for this morning. I just figured that since the apartment was completely empty you'd need some breakfast." She said apologizing and signalled to the tray of food.

"Actually I was heading out to get some breakfast and ask you for a list of grocery stores and some other places." I said smiling, "why don't we do it now?"

I closed the door behind her and led her through the kitchen. It was a funny situation, kin of Juliet with the nurse? Technically she was the owner of this apartment, but I was paying for it, which gave me the power to let her in or not. It was a well respected balance that so easily could be disrupted, and yet, no one thought about it.

She pulled out plates and cutlery, she didn't miss a thing. I didn't even have those yet. I had my camping gear, but not at hand right now. It'll probably take a few more days for my shipped things to start to show up.

It was a few things that I had made sure to remove carefully and slowly from the house. I had no need for most of my old clothes and it saved me packing in front of John for a long time, but I had to bring some of my old life with me.

Before Jake and Nessie married we used to hang out in the reservation a lot, once they got serious they kept to themselves, it was like the union was in body and should, not only matrimonial. I envied them, I loved John, but we tended to be more independent of each other.

I sat at the table and gestured Wilma to do the same. We talked about the rules of the building. I asked a few questions about the gym and swimming pool questions. She told me they had an assembly once a month and I'll be introduced to everyone at the end of next week, but by then, chances were I had met most of the people already.

The food was delicious. I wasn't a fan of milk but this chocolate milk changed a few of my comebacks for my mother. We talked about a few more things and she gossiped a little bit about some of the residents, most of them were my age, and I guessed that she was giving me the heads up in case I wanted to behave anywhere near the way they did. It was with me, I wasn't much of the party girl, and my friends had visiting hours to come by; unless they were Carrie, who "didn't give a shit" about my preferences. She was doing what "was best for me". It was sweet in a masochistic kind of way.

I told Wilma what my plans for the day were and she asked me to go by her apartment on my way down, we could sign the last of the papers and she'd give me some road maps she had.

I made my way down shortly after Wilma left. I looked around once more and gave myself a congratulatory smile. Last night I wasn't much aware of my surroundings and didn't pay much attention to the hallways. My apartment was number 3006; it was almost at the end of the hallway. There was something off with the building; it was still so quiet, despite it was almost noon. I waved it off and knocked on Wilma's door. She answered immediately and I walked in. her apartment was bigger than mine, it just mirrored it. When I saw what the place could look like with furniture I liked it much more. Right now mine resembled an abandoned house, but this one was a home.

I looked at the coffee tale and was surprised to see an edition of the Chicago Tribune on it. I asked her the date and she said it was today's. I explained I would be working for the Living section and Wilma reached for it.

"Take a look at today's section. Saturday's are my favourite of that section." She said handing it to me, "they publish poems and other art forms of teenagers."

I opened the page marked and saw the small entry.

**Breaking the Attachment**

Why do you linger?  
Why do you stay?  
Why do you use my soul to play?

Why are you hurtful?  
Can't you be mild?  
Can you not see that I'm only a child?

You're no good for me.  
You know what you ack.  
Leave me alone and never come back.

Understand this, boy.  
I don't want you here.  
Find somewhere else to spread anger and fear.

By the time I was done I had tears on my eyes. I hadn't given a thought to John today. It was like I had suppressed yesterday from my memory, but this brought it all back. I let myself fall on an armchair and stared blankly at the paper on my hands. Wilma was instantly by my side.

"Are you Okay, dear? You look awfully pale." She sounded worried. I guess people didn't give me that look anymore because they were used to seeing my reaction whenever something reminded me of John and we were going through a break up. How bad did I really look that had Wilma fluttering around the place without a clue of what to do to make me stop.

I wasn't sobbing. I just stared and felt John sleeping by my side; His arms around my waist and his breath hot on the small of my back. I had had a dreamless sleep. I hadn't had nightmares about how lonely I would be, but this was worse. I couldn't wake up from this hell. I needed to get out and walk. I needed to take my mind off my worries.

I stood up and without releasing the newspaper moved to the entry way.

"Oh my! Are you sure you can walk outside, dear?" Wilma was standing on the kitchen door that faced the hallway, just like in my own apartment, with a glass of water on her hands. "You could faint on the streets. Are you dizzy? Is there anyone I can call for you?"

"No. don't worry, Wilma, I'll be fine." I said and took my purse and jacket. "I have many errands to run. Thanks for everything, really." And with that I left.

I felt the paper slip throuh my fingers in the hallway but i made no move to pick it up. I got out and looked at my map. There was a park just a few blocks away. I had to make a few stops in the way and headed that way. The first place I went to was an internet provider company. I had to get that done as soon as possible. They offered a great deal that included a cell-phone plan and I took it. After paying for most fees and hardware costs I went to look at some furniture. Mine would be arriving today or tomorrow and I allowed Wilma to let them in the apartment and drop everything. I'd put it together by myself, or ask someone else to do it.

I needed more bookcases. I hadn't ordered those because I didn't know exactly how much space I'd have free. I was happy with the selection of the store. I took a business card and left. I was almost at the park when I saw a library and decided that I had to register for a card. It wasn't big, but was near my house, and I could always browse for titles in the net and ask them to be delivered at that location.

I got to the park and realized why every single part of the neighbourhood was empty. Everyone was here. There was some kind of parade and I wondered if I had forgotten about time and it was already July 4th. There were tons of things wrong if that wee the case. For one thing, no flags or related colours adorned the streets. The park was way too crowded for my likes, so I turned around and headed back to the apartment.

I was almost at the door when a truck stopped in front and two built men got out. They asked if they had the address right and I remembered this was the same company I had contracted a few weeks ago.

I told them my name and asked them if those were my things. He checked his board and smiled shaking my hand.

"I'm Joshua. This is Leo." I shook Leo's hand and showed them they way.

I opened the door while they went back to the truck to carry things inside. I hadn't stopped for groceries now that I wasn't hungry, so I had nothing to offer them. They noticed this and brought their lunch in to eat while they unpacked and put together my bed and other furniture. We made small talk, but mostly they told me jokes and anecdotes from previous jobs. They had known each other for a while. Joshua had started working for the company about 4 years ago, and Leo was hired a year later. When they ran out of stories about old women that had made them put together her furniture and then move it 4 times around the house I was hiccupping from laughter and almost peeing on my pants. Then they started with stories from high school and college. For those they mentioned names of other guys, they seemed to have a lot of fun together. They weren't bad boys but they seemed to have had their fare share of dates. They also told me about their work out phase. The made a gym out of old equipment at some Emmett guy's house and were banned from there when they started trying to break the walls to practice martial arts.

6 hours later everything was in place and clean. We had taken the boxes back to the truck and were pack at my apartment for their tools.

"Wow, it looks good" Leo said appreciatively.

"I know. I have a table with no food for it. A desk without any trace of papers or technology, and a bedroom set without anything to put in, or on it." I laughed. "At least I have more furniture to choose from to sleep at night in the living room."

"Do you know when is your stuff getting here?" Joshua asked.

"My friend and I shipped it two days ago." I explained. "It should take about 4 or 5 more days."

"Look, this is our card. We can come give you a hand after work whenever you need it."

I wasn't very interested on the offer. They seemed like nice enough guys, but I was still my old paranoid self.

"I don't have many things to move around. It's just books and things that will make this resemble a home." I lied. The truth was it would be a heavy task. I was getting ALL of my books shipped here. I would need them once I started working as a teacher. That was, after all, my ultimate goal.

"Hey, no reason to worry about us, Bella. Maybe you should hang out with our wives before you take us up in our offer." He said with a wink, spotting my fears.

I laughed and told them tat I very much needed a social life and someone to show me around.

I left the house with them. They went towards their truck and I made my way to the grocery store.

I went from aisle to aisle grabbing everything that came to my hands. There were very few items in the store that were left untouched. I had my hands completely full and there wasn't any space left in the cart.

I made my way to the cash register and paid for my items. I asked to be lent the cart until I managed to get a taxi, and one of the boys working there helped me out to the street and hail a cab.

I got a cab some time after and I thanked the teenage boy with a tip. I gave the taxi driver my address and relaxed on the seat, dreading the moment when I had to unload the groceries.

We reached the building 5 minutes later and I started taking bags into my hands.

"I guess a lucky guy is getting a good dinner tonight." The cab driver said winking.

"Nah, I think he already ate today." I said hiding my grimace with my hair.

"I don't think he'll pass on the chance tonight once he sees you in there, ma'am."

"You'd think so." I said handing him the fare and a tip.

I bid him goodnight and started to make my way to the building. It was a good thing I had taken a case with me. My arms were full of groceries but I had a suitcase even fuller dragging back; and a backpack on my shoulders.

I opened my door and let out gasp when everything fell.

"Damn it!" I cursed aloud and started picking up cans and smaller packages.

"What's the point on using fabric groceries bags if they'll bear this easy?" I yelled out loud.

"Maybe if you stuck to the weight they are supposed to carry, you wouldn't have that problem." A deep voice came from behind me startling me.

"Oh! I didn't see you there. I'm sorry for my language."

"I'm Mike. Mike Newton." He said sticking out his hand.

I shook it and introduced myself.

"So, you're our new neighbour." He said more like a statement than a question. "Can't say it's a sad thing to see me previous neighbour move if you're the one to move in." he winked at me in a way he thought would be sexy, but I had to swallow before I answered him.

"I am." I didn't attempt to invite him in. he was expecting me to do so, but I made up a cover story about having to clean up and organize my groceries.

"Ok, I'll see you around. If you need a hand with anything don't hesitate to give me shout. I'm right across the hall. No need to call a company and waste your money."

Right, because swallowing his flirt attempts was much more preferable.

I nodded and thanked him. I faked a yawn and excused myself, closing the door on his face.

Ugh! Creepy much? I honestly shuddered and didn't try to stifle it.

I hoped Carrie didn't find him worthy no matter how desperate she told me I was.

I'll have to remember to lock the door. He was good looking, and yet the entire opposite of John's looks, but something about him was weird. Maybe how forward he was and the fact that he was eyeing me without trying to hide it.

I started to put things in their place; which was harder considering that I had to create a space for everything. I had to consider what things I would need at hand when I was doing what in the kitchen. I took out the ice cream first and a spoon. I was in need of it.

My phone rung and I knew it was Carrie. Who else?

"Miss Swan?" a man's voice said.

"This is she. How can I help you?" I asked.

"This is Tyler Crowley, from the Living section of the Chicago Tribune. There was a problem with a group of our team and they won't be able to make it tomorrow, so we'd like to ask you to come in as soon as it was possible to work on Monday's issue."

He sounded a bit freaked out. I guess they were in deep trouble.

"Of course. How did you get my number?" I was sure I didn't give it to them because I didn't know it myself.

"We called your contact number in Phoenix and she gave it to us after a long interrogation, I might add."

That sounded like Carrie. I smiled and told him I'll be there in the morning. But I wasn't sure of the way so I couldn't promise a time. Also my cell-phone wasn't working yet, but I gave him the number just in case.

He asked where was I living and he typed for a moment. He gave me directions that seemed pretty easy, but being a Sunday I'll take longer to get any public transportation. He said I could grab a Taxi and the paper would pay for it.

"Thanks, I better get to organize my things for tomorrow."

"thank you very much, I know you haven't had any training and know nothing about the department, but tomorrow I'll give you a little tour and on Tuesday when you come we'll introduce you to the team." He sounded relieved to have gotten someone to come in, and I wondered what kind of person would turn down the call of the office just before their first day.

I hung up and headed to the washroom with my bag of toiletries. I had organized the towels in the closet so I felt more comfortable just opening a door and pulling something out. This place didn't feel as strange to me anymore, but I couldn't bring myself to call it home yet.

I let the warm water relax my muscles in the shower and started massaging my sore limbs from all the heavy lifting of the day. It had been a long day, and I had things to think about. I wondered how was Josh doing. Was he sad? Had he gone back to Lily for comfort? Had he called Carrie to ask about me?

I had to give him up and not care, but it was hard to do when I loved him still. why the hell did I leave? this wasn't working out so far. It was a good thing tomorrow would be busy at work. I had to check my mail, and I wasn't in for the number of e-mails from people that Josh had contacted for sure.

* * *

AN: any thoughts so far? i wasn't sure where to put Mike, whether here or at wrk, but he would be harder to hide from at her own building. so, home-stalker it is!!

i'm starting next chapter right now, and with a 4 day weekend i hope to get past chapter ten at least.

check for update if you havent added me to your list.

bye!!

Elina H


	7. Chapter 7

AN: sorry everyone. i know i promised i'd get on with it and over with. but,, well.. it was the worst week ever. and today i finaly had the 3 tests that had been nagging me so i finally completed chapter 8. i'm giving it the finishing touches and doing background info on chicago... becuase i haven't done any of my fanfiction homework so far.. so..

i'll see you in a bit. enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 7:

I woke up for my 1st day at wok with a groan. I wasn't going to be late, I was very, very early. I had to thank my couch and curtain-less windows for it, though. I went to the kitchen and got everything ready to have a small breakfast. I would be nervous today about being a first timer at the office, and I didn't want to be nauseous when the nerves kick in.

I took a long shower giving myself a prep speech. On the good side I would be busy enough with my job and learning how things work here to worry too much about him. On the other side I would be the newbie and that brought attention. Unless they had new people coming and going all the time, which wasn't he case. Once you got hired for the Tribune you couldn't leave because of the many benefits it gave you, but the hours were hard.

I dressed in one of my newest business attire that I know my mom would approve of, and Carrie would call me a frigid librarian. She was that sincere and straight forward.

I left one hour before I promised to be there. It would take me about thirty minutes to get there by taxi, but I didn't want to abuse of their generosity on my first day at work.

It took me fourty five minutes to get there by public transportation, and when I saw a teen with an PSP in his hands I cursed twice. First because I left all my video games and xBox at John's place, and second because today the i-net company stuff would be arriving and I wouldn't be there to check on everthing. I made a WRITTEN note to call Wilma and ask her to stop by. I couldn't trust my mental notes anymore seeing what happened with buying new curtains. When I finally did get thw they would be pitch black. No amount of sunlight was to ever wake me up from my peace. I would also need an alarm clock, so I added it at the end.

I got to the office with time to spare and asked directions at the front desk. The girl was wearing something similar to my outfit and I thanked secretly the lady that helped me pick out the clothes. She was very, very patient, seeing how Carrie and I laughed at everything and nothing. If my dad had seen me he would have checked me to see if I was sober. Sometimes I laugh too much, and it usually happens when I shouldn't or when I'm nervous. I was really nervous while shopping, I had yet to go back home and face another few hours of John's lies and little remarks until I had to leave.

I knocked on the door and 2 minutes later a man with a very tired appearance waved me forward while yelling at the phone. The office was a mess, there was noise from computers printing, and people typing as fast as they could. I saw that it was half empty and overheard the guy that opened the foor talking about flights being delayed. Had half of the team been sent away and not made it in time for the edition?

I guess they needed more help that I was told on the phone last night. I just stood there and looked around taking in what would be my second home for the next few years, or maybe more, depending on how my dream of becoming a teacher went.

"Sorry about that," the guy said to me. I saw that he had hung up the phone and smied shyly at him.

"That's ok, I see now why the rush. Where do you need me?" I asked ready to get on task or brainstorm some ideas.

I looked me up and down for a moment and then seemed to remember I had asked a question.

"Um, I think we need to have a meeting with everyone for five minutes. I have some info to give them and it'd be a good time for everyone to take a small break. We've been here for a few hours now."

I immediately felt bad.

"Why wasn't I called in for before? Oh, sorry, I'm sure it wasn't up to you." I blushed and looked down. I needed to calm down, it was just a small problem, things like this happen all the time. The newspaper wasn't to stop functioning because of this.

"there wasn't much to do. Our reporters were delayed in their flight and they wont let them access internet in their computers to send us the info from the airport. So, we're short for the section."

I realized I was asking questions away and I hadn't introduced myself yet.

I'm Bella by the way. It's my first day working here."

"Oh, I know. They called from the front desk. I'm Tyler, you talked to me last night."

"Oh, yeah. Nice to meet you, again." I shook his hands and he motioned me forward into the office closing the door behind me. The phone rung again and he groaned talking into it while leading me to a small sitting area.

5 minutes later the noise calmed down a bit. Maybe I was just getting used to it, but then I saw more and more people walking towards were I was. By the time Tyler came back there were about 15 people there and I stood up, not wanting to have to look up tp see everyone.

"Everyone, this is Bella, she'll be working with us from now on." Tyler spoke up, "we don't have time right now to give you all of our names Bella, but you'll learn them soon enough. There is a contact address list in all computers and they are programmed with our names and last names. It's better to email each other in the office than scream from one side to the other."

I waved shyly and looked back at Tyler, who was running his hands from his hair. His eyes were jumpy and he looked like he had drank one too many cups of coffee. I didn't want to say anything for fear of being rude, but he was taing this worse than everyone else. He was literally freaking out and he hadn't said anything about the real problems.

"So, what've got so far?" he asked looking at everyone and no one at the same time.

A short girl spoke up. She had short curly brown hair and was dressed rather well. "there is so much I can write about fashion and events in one issua, I don't want to go into advertising brands. There are no events happening that we could talk about and no one important has been seen anything worth writing on a paper." She said shooing her head.

"I know, Jessica. Believe me, I don't want a three pages essay on fasion. We have other targets than spoiled teenagers."

"I talked to Ang on the phone to help me come up with some advice, but this isn't Dr. Phil or Freud, people get tired of reading our advice for those who's lives suck." A guy with acne said.

"This is the living section," I spoke up when the pause seemed frustrating. "are there no stories of people that have been saved from unusual situations? We could interview them and ask about how it has changed the way they live. Maybe someone that got something else out of it. Happy endings always attract public." I said more enthusiastically now. Once I gained confidence I could have really good ideas.

Everyone gaped at me with their mouths open. I started to blush and looked down, maybe they had already added it to the issue in question and I was the only ignorant of their desperate situation.

"It's not a bad idea, but we can give it a shot. Why don't you take it Bella? It's a bit late, but maybe you can get something no mater how small it is; even if it's just a preview of something to expand in another issue. We need as much help as we can get." He clapped his hands and set everyone back to work.

I went into the archives and started going through files and files of lucky survivors of accidents.

I stumbled into a last name that seemed familiar: 'Masen'. Where had I hear it before? Was it some celebrity? I really needed to get a TV fast, the world of the media moved pretty fast. Maybe this person was already famous in just 3 days and in my angry daze I hadn't even heard about them. I opened the file to find out more about them.

The file was a bout a kid who survived an accident but was in front of the sight of his bleeding to death parents for a couple of hours before the police and ambulance got to him. The car had skidded across the highway and collided against the barrier. Years later he became very successful in the stock market and had related a program to help with the hospital bills of kids that were in similar situations. If it was needed he would also help in the search for foster homes that would take them in until they were adopted by a family that would fit them. He personally would check on them often and pay for their education. There wasn't a lot of background information. And when I tried searching through the website of the program it said nothing about the man named Masen. The highest positions were held by people with the last names Cullen or Hale. However nothing was said about the men that had started it all. Not even in the article, it skipped right from when he was saved to when he started the organization, and then it focused on the works of the charity and it said nothing else about the real person behind it. I thought it would be a good idea to solve the mystery. I'm sure people just skimmed over the article and maybe thanked god that people like that existed to take care of those less fortunate, but it didn't say anything about the life of that person. He must have suffered a great deal in order to make his life's goal to stop kids from going through the same.

A good start to the story would be starting with a recently person that suffered of an accident. I felt bad about searching through those files, like I was taking advantage of someone else's pain to bring forward the newspaper. But in truth I just wanted to give the deserved recognition to the man behind all of it.

I saw a very recent file about a girl left behind in the hospital after her mother had given birth to her. I wondered what kind of person would do that to her own daughter, and then thought that maybe the girl would be better off with an adopted family that loved her instead of someone that would regret her existence.

I made my way to Tyler's office, just to see him laying his head on his desk, his forhead resting against his forarms. I thought that maybe I should come back later, but I didn't have a lot of time to start with the investigation and I needed his approval to go with someone else to the hospital. I cleared my throat he he snapped his ead up like he was got caught by his boss or something. He let out a small sigh and I started telling him my plans. He agreed with me to make it a continued article and started making calls to the hospital asking about the possibilities of talking to the girl's doctors and trying to convince them that this article would attract the attention of the public and of any interested future parents. He was clear saying that we weren't going to judge the mother, just follow her story as it developed and make sure she was fine. The hospital director put us on hold while he spoke to a few doctors. A few minutes later he came back and gave us a few conditions. We had to make sure that she wouldn't tur into some kind of celebrity for it would only bring trouble into the areas. If we were asked to leave the premises we should do so immediately, and we could only ask questions that the doctors agreed to answer. We agreed immediately taking as much as they would give. Perhaps once they saw we didn't have bad intentions they would let us in easier.

I quickly grabbed my purse, Dictaphone and pad. I would try to get done as much as possible while I was there. Tyler asked if I wanted someone to come with me, but I said I could handle it, if anything I would call and ask for reinforcements. If the people there only saw a reporter the may open up easier. Maybe there was a reason there wasn't much printed about the man behind the program and I was sure some of the nurses there had seen him in one of his rounds. I could ask a few questions about the topic without sounding like I was after that story. I wasn't really after it, but I was intrigued. Was he just trying to avoid the attention, just like I did? Had he been marked in the accident and didn't want to show his face?

I had a million and one questions and I wrote them down in my way to the hospital. This time I took a taxi. I didn't have enough time to use public transportation and I was really exited about the story.


	8. Chapter 8

**an: **so, here is the last chapter i have. i'm not sure if it is the largest chapter i've written so far., but it's definetly up there. i want to get started on chapter 9 becuase, well. i'm hungry... ahahahha no. i'm just kidding. it's just that i love emmet. love him... not as in the seriously hot guy he is, but as the funny childish big bear he is.

any thoughts?

i know i dont go all 'UPDATE! YOU MUST UPDATE' because if you like it, it's good enough for me if you add me to your alerts. but if you do have any thoughts. or i make any mistakes, please do tell me. and if you don't like it tell me what you'd llike and we can work on something..

enough with the rant. lets get down and dirty. i mean down to business... ;)

* * *

Chapter 8:

The hospital was on the other side of town, but with a lot of pressure from my side I got there in record time. I entered the foyer and my eyes got wet immediately. Why did I agree to do this alone? All over the place were kids crying, waiting in lone to be treated or coming out of the offices. When kids go in for a regular check up they all come out with candy and a smile, but here… it broke my heart all over again. Only god knows how much I wanted to be able to get home to a happy family, and seeing these families here with saddened faces was making me hate my decisions up to the point that I was about to turn around and give up when I realized that I had to at least do my job. I had to try and keep myself from thinking too much. Free time meant meditation and analyzing. Carrie said that sometimes I over thought things. If she saw me right now trying to avoid thinking about my life she would be shocked. Or maybe not, she'd be nodding with a knowing smile saying that I could never change: I would bottle everything up and then deal with emotions when I was alone. She didn't understand that some people don't need a show to express themselves.

When my grandfather died I didn't shed a tear. My mother and I stood side by side letting everyone come and say their apologies, then they would turn around and I could hear them roll their eyes at our blank stares. I was taught different. You can cry for a person while the person is alive, while there is still some kind of hope. After the soul is gone, there is no point. Some may say that we were cold-hearted bitches, but if I didn't feel like crying I wouldn't do it. I don't need tears to mourn; I don't need black clothes to show my grief. I carried my sadness in my soul, and it was heavy enough. Sometimes I cry, when I see something that he would have liked, when I hear a joke, when I walk by his neighbourhood.

I hoped that one day I could look back at the loss I had when I left John and bear it at least.

I was lost in my thoughts again, I walked in a daze towards the information desk and told them my name and that there should have been an ID granting me permit to be near by the baby. Everyone called her "the baby" she wasn't given a name, she was merely a number. Just thinking about that rose the lump in my throat again and I had to swallow hard and work my features to rearrange my grimace.

I walked in the elevator and as the doors were about to close a man stopped them. I quickly pressed the button to help him and moved aside. He got in and asked me where to.

"Nineteenth floor," I told him.

He looked at me with an apologetic smile and nodded slightly. I then looked at his face and almost let out a gasp. He was so handsome it was unfair. Usually women are the prettier ones in a relationship, but this man made it all make no sense. Even with deep bags under his eyes, and a 5 o'clock shadow, his facial features would give a run for his money to any A&F model.

I concentrated then in trying not to gawk, and slow down my breathing. I hadn't realized it had sped up. I guess that staring at his face and that unusual bronze coloured hair had my body working overtime. He shifted slightly then and looked at me. I bet he had felt my stare or had even seen my open-mouthed expression on his peripheral vision.

_Ding!_

I looked up then and saw we were at the floor I was staying at.

"This is me," I sighed.

"Me too," he whispered so calmly that I wasn't sure if he had spoken at all; but because I was so aware of him at the moment, I registered it, even if it wasn't meant for me to be heard.

I turned around casually and stepped closer to where he was now.

"I'm sorry, where can I find the room 1928D?"

He looked a bit shocked for a second and I wondered if he knew the person that was staying there.

"Hmm, I'll show you the way." He eyed me up and down trying to figure out something and then started walking to the left.

I followed suit and got a magnificent view of his rear. He didn't look like a doctor from the hospital, well, he only looked like a Greek god, but that wasn't the point. His clothes were selector in a very fashionable, yet inconspicuous way. He wasn't young enough to be a resident, but he knew his way around too much to be a visitor.

As we walked down the hallways I could feel the stares. I even caught a receptionist pulling out a mirror and putting her high heels back on. I rolled my eyes at her. You were in a hospital for crying out loud. What kind of woman would try to flirt with visitors or patients while surrounded by ill people? I mentally slapped myself, I probably would. If it wasn't for the fact that I knew that my league and his ran parallel, never touching.

"Here we are." He said stopping at a door that read 1928D. I glanced at the paper in my hands and made sure I had it right. He turned to me and I could see that he very much wanted to ask something. Since he didn't say anything I felt I should make the first move.

"Thank you. I hope I hadn't kept you from anything important."

"I was coming this way. May ask you name? You are the first visitor to ever come here to see her. Do you know her?" there was something in his voice that alerted me not to say I was related to the baby, even if I was. He was royally pissed at whoever left her here.

"No, I recently learned about what happened. I work for the Living section of the Chicago tribune. We-" I was cut off by his glare.

"What are you doing here?! Who let you in?! Don't you people know you are not allowed to be here?!" he was almost shouting at me. He kept his volume in check but the venom draining from his tone made me flinch back. I saw his eyes narrowed at me and almost ran away and hid.

"It's not my intention to bring a wave of reporters to the hospital, I only wanted to talk to her doctor and ask him what would be the normal procedure once a baby is left being." I didn't shout at him, but my voice didn't break, and I was proud for that.

"NORMAL PROCEDURE!" oh, boy! He was mad now. "Do you think this is normal? Do you consider yourself lucky because you got here before someone else did?"

I was annoyed now. Who was he to question me? He didn't know how much I would give to be able to settle down and have a baby! How could he accuse me of doing something that I would trade anything for just to be able to experience the beauty of it all?

"YOU DON-" I was cut off by a door opening behind me.

Then an older doctor came out of the room looking back and forth between the man and I.

If I got kicked out of the hospital because of his overreaction I would wait outside and kick his ass. I would take a bat and smash his head for ruining my first day at work.

"Is anything wrong? Was that you yelling Edward?" the older man looked at the Greek-God-turned-pain-in-the-ass man in front of me. So he did have a name. A very nice one, may I add.

"Carlisle, did you know we had reporters coming in to see the baby?" he asked shooting a death glare at me. They were on first name terms, I was screwed. It was a lot to ask to let me in to talk to the doctor, not even see the baby. No pictures, nothing. Just a talk. Just comments, and now, because of this incredibly hot loud ass, I was in danger of leaving empty handed.

"I was aware of it." The older doctor said and I breathed out. I had still a chance. "However," he went on, "I didn't know YOU were coming here today. I know you aren't fond of the media."

So his problem wasn't that I was here to disturb the peace, it was personal.

"Carlisle, we don't need having a buzz inside the hospital. If this gets too big then the mother might come back for her and we'll have to agree, because, well, she IS the mother. But if she left her behind, I don't think she has the right to come back for her." He wasn't looking at me anymore. It was now between the two of them. I tried to slowly move myself to the window of the room and catch a glimpse, but a strong hand held me in place.

I winced a little and was about to snap when Carlisle rose his voice. "Enough! I talked to the editor. They aren't going to mention anything. It's just for information about what happens in these situations. I know you feel for this baby, but she isn't the first one that it happens to. Go calm down a little while I talk to Isabella. I'll meet you in one hour and we'll talk about this."

He them motioned me into the office and I kept my eyes down while I walked it.

I was instantly in awe. Most doctors' offices are full of pricy paintings and diplomas. This one was very simple. The colours were light and inviting, and the walls were adorned with pictures made by children. I was sure that he had a character when he wanted to, but all of this showed the love his patients had for him. I would certainly remember that when writing about the experience. We wouldn't be mentioning names, or anything too personal. But this was well worth mentioning.

"I'm sorry about how loud the conversation went." I said after a pause. "I didn't mean to yell, but you have to understand-" he cut me off. (What was with people cutting me off here?!)

"Nothing to worry about, Isabella. Edward is a very good person, but sometimes he closes himself in and won't let others try and change his mind. His stubbornness has taken him far, though." He spoke like a father. Was he Edward's father? They didn't look much alike. Carlisle seemed to be a little over 15 years older than Edward. He looked more like an older brother.

"Are you two related?" the words left my mouth and I didn't realize it until they were out. I quickly tried to cover up telling him that he didn't need to answer, that it was a personal question.

He chuckled lightly and said with a far off look, "yeah. I guess we are family."

The topic was over then.

"So, miss swan, am I right?" he asked then sitting behind his desk. "What can I do for you?" he motioned with his hand for me to take sit in front of him and I complied with a nod.

"I didn't know how much of the article my editor told you about. I'd be pleased to answer every question. And you may call me Bella."

"Yes, I do have questions, and you may call me Carlisle, even most nurses here don't call me by my last name." he smiled dazzlingly and I felt a little bit more relaxed. This was my first shot at work, and I had to make it worth it.

"The article is based on the fact that the baby was left behind recently, but not exactly about her. We don't want any information about her that may alter her future as a normal child. We are aware that this has happened before and we'd like your thoughts on the matter. Perhaps a few other doctors here would like to talk to us as well." I paused then and looked around, trying to organize my thoughts. My eyes fell on a picture of a boy and a girl about my age. The girl was very short or the boy was huge. Either way, they looked similar, but at the same time they were exact opposites of each other.

"My oldest son and daughter." Carlisle explained following my gaze.

"I'm sorry, they look like they were having fun." I smiled sheepishly and tried to get back in topic.

"We don't want you to judge the mothers that left their children behind. We'd just like your opinion on why you think this happens, and any advice you'd like to give those mothers who may find themselves in that position in the future." We also like to know what would the first step to do once these children are ready to be up for adoption. I understand they can't be kept in the hospital forever."

"Yes, I'll be able to give you most answers, but about asking other doctors I don't know if I can manage many of them. We are really fond of our profession, and it would feel to many of them like betraying the trust their patients put in them. You can talk to some of our volunteer staff of course, they'd be happy to help."

"I see. Well, this is very generous of you as it is. So, I wouldn't want to push my luck."

"In case they do agree to talk to them you'd have to adjust to their schedules, I don't want it to disturb their work." He said more serious now.

"I understand, and I'm willing to accommodate them as much as possible."

"good, now that it's out of the way all the rules, I am almost at the end of my shift for today, but I'd love it if you'd come for dinner to my place. We could talk there in a friendlier environment. My wife is making a dinner for my sons and daughter and they are bringing their wife and fiancée. You may bring a date too if you'd like."

"Wow, thank you very much! I have some work to do to start my article but I'll try to make it there. What time should I arrive?"

"7:30pm should be fine, let me ask just to be sure." He took his phone and dialled number one. Apparently it was his speed dial.

A few seconds later he greeted someone.

"Hi Esme, dear. About tonight's dinner, I have invited a guest to meet you and the rest of the family," he pauses for a moment and then went on, "yes, I know… well, yes... she is basing a newspaper article on the hospital..." he made a longer pause and then said, "Her name is Isabella, and tell Alice she'll have to meet her first, and ask her herself." He laughed and said his goodbyes.

"It's all settled, 7:30PM would be fine with everyone. My daughter already wants to meet you." He added with a roll of his eyes.

I laughed and felt more comfortable. "How can I get there?" I asked reading he address he had written in the paper.

"I take it you are not from Chicago." He laughed

"No, I just moved here 2 days ago. So far I've only explored my neighbourhood and the way to my office."

"Is this your first day at work, then?" he asked a bit amused

"It is." I beamed.

"Then it's one more reason to celebrate tonight. My granddaughter just joined us for her summer vacation, so you'll probably meet her too." He looked like he loved her very much, but I guess he liked all children. I hoped his family was as nice as he was. "it's a very easy neighbourhood to get around. Will you be driving or taking a cab?"

I was going to take the public transit, but I guess a cab will be safer.

"I live not very far from here, just about 5 miles away. I'm sure you'll be fine."

"I had a list of questions to ask you, but we never got to it. Should I bring it to your house tonight?" after all I was here to work. Not to create a social life. And I had to hand Tyler something to put in the newspaper.

"How about we answer some of them here? Because knowing my daughter I doubt you'll have time for work tonight."

"That'd be perfect should I start, or would you like to just talk to me about you experience in this situations?" I asked. This wasn't my first interview, but the first time meeting a person I try to accommodate to then, I don't want to seem like aggressive paparazzi. I wasn't that.

"We can do both, what specifically would you like to know? We can work from there."

This was going to be too easy.

"Well, I am sure this isn't something that happens very often, but why do you think it happens?"

"Most cases are young girls. They come with a friend; they didn't find out that they were pregnant on time, so they couldn't get an abortion. It's sad knowing the privileges they have in this country how they don't take care of something as simple as protection." He paused, "as a father, it's disappointing. I taught my boys to take care of the girls they were with, and if they were lucky enough to have a daughter, even if it wasn't planned, they should care for them. I would never want to think my little Alice with a baby and not having anyone to rely on. Most of those girls come here with a friend, a false name. they give birth and try to leave as soon as possible so that they don't make any emotional ties with the new born."

"You consider the people who find themselves in that position lucky to have a daughter or son, what if they can't care for them the right way? What if they have drug addictions for example? Wouldn't it be better for the kid to find a stable family?"  
"I don't think a child should give up his real parents. We have many programs in the hospital to help mothers find the right path, we can also provide them with a career, or at least a job that they can give their child something to be proud of. No matter what kind of person the mother is, she will always love her child. I've seen mothers come back for their child, but by then, the child is in a stable environment and because they love them they decide to watch them grow from afar. Others are more persistent and took it to court. One of those mothers, I remember, gained custody of the child. A few months later she showed up at the house the adoptive parents lived. The kid had entered a depression because he was taken away from the only parents he had ever met. You should consider yourself lucky the first chance you have to meet your child. Most people don't get a second chance. Even though you share genes and were together for nine months, it's not true what they say that the blood is stronger than the mind. And the heart is stronger than both. Is there anything else you'd like to talk about?"

"No, actually I have to go. And I know that your shift is over. I should get started on this article. It will be out by Tuesday. I will make a few more on the topic, but I'd also like to add my views on the topic. And I'm sure a few of our readers will send us theirs. It is a very controversial topic. Thanks for the invitation."

I stood up to leave and he did the same.

"It was my pleasure Bella, I'm sure we'll have a great tie tonight." I said my goodbyes and promised to be there tonight.

I made my way to the street already thinking about the first words of my column.

'When is the heart stronger than the call of blood? Is always giving our children a better future by keeping them away from us the best of the options?...'

I got on a cab and was on my automatic pilot mode. I walked to the office and started typing immedialy.3 hours later the office was almost empty and it was only 5 o'clock.

"Hey Isabella!" I heard Tyler's voice behind me, "nice work today, I'm sure it'll be a hit. Why don't we head out for a drink?"

Was he asking me out? Seriously? The man hasn't seen me for 3 consecutive hours yet! Good thing I had plans and they were not bringing him with me to Dr. Cullen's house.

"I'm sorry Tyler I have to head home, unpack and get settle. Also I'm sure there is a bunch of calls to answer on my phone." I added thinning of Carrie. She would be happy about what I was doing tonight.

"Speaking of which, there was a person calling you all day long. Sorry I forgot to tell you." That was weird. I hadn't given my phone number to anyo- I stopped that thought. I had given it to one person only. My first friend in Chicago. My first attempt to making a social life.

"Was it a little girl?" I asked

"No, it sounded more like a secretary. She left a note for you. I'll get it in a sec." he turned and went to his desk.

Secretary? Who would have known I was here? Not even Carrie knew this number. She'd be calling me to speak and joke around all day long and I wouldn't get anything done.

"Here it is Tyler" said coming back.

I looked at the note and cocked my head to the side. It was Lizzy, maybe she had asked her mom or someone else to call me.

I had to leave then if I wanted to make dinner on time. I wasn't a fan of being fashionably late.

I made a mental note to call her tomorrow, by the time I got back today she would be in bed.

I took my things and left for the day.

I had been a very good day.

Then I remembered that ass Edward and was mad again. What was his problem with the media? Why couldn't he at least try and get to now me before accusing me of basically stalking babies.

I would try not to cross my path with him. I don't think I'd have that amount of patience left in me.

* * *

i believe i would try my best not to cross paths with him too... .... maybe.... if i'm really unhappy... if i'm im dying.. ok, fine i wouldn't dream of it. hahahhahaha


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

I got to my apartment and saw the message light flashing. I decided to ignore it and start to get ready, I had been stuck in the traffic jam and it took longer than I had hoped for to get here.

I washed my hair and decided to just leave it down with half of it safe on a ponytail. I made my make up very light. It would be a dinner at a house, so, the lights there wouldn't be dim.

I picked one of my new skirts. It was almost office attire, aside from the fact that it was denim. It was knee length and a very dark shade of green. It had a high waist that was accentuated with a wide belt. I picked a black blouse and tucked it inside. Got one of my new blazers and after putting on my lucky bracelet I left. I was almost to the door when I felt too comfortable in the shoes I was wearing and decided to step it up a notch. I liked my legs, so I went for high heels black booties and prayed that there wee no steps to their house.

I got to the main intersection without accidents and hailed a cab. I had to sit and not push my luck. It had been some time since I had put much effort into looking good. John and I were often invited to parties with the people from his job, but they always ended up in a book talk instead of everybody drunk and dancing. I liked books, and I liked talking about then with people that knew what they were saying, but sometimes I just wanted to get lost of it all and just be. I could never BE myself sober. I was too shy for that.

It was a very good neighbourhood where the car parked. I looked at the name of the street and it was the same name I had been given: Kedzie Ave. I looked at my watch and I was 5 minutes early. Great. What should I do? I didn't want to be early either. Was it even parked in front of the house? I looked at the number then 3426, 3 numbers off. That meant the house was on the other side of the street. I paid my fare and got off very carefully. It had been raining and I didn't want to get injured despite the fact that I was steps away from a doctor. I crossed the street and looked for the house. I saw the number then and my jaw dropped. There were two huge houses there. One looking exactly like the other. There was a couple coming out of one of them and walking towards the other. I recognized the man right away; he was Dr. Carlisle's son. He didn't mention his name, but he did say he was the oldest. By his side was a beautiful woman. She had long blond hair and her skinny jeans hugged every inch of her long legs. I thought I had seen her somewhere else. I laughed at myself, she was gorgeous, and he probably locked her down and kept a bat near by just in case. Not even his inhuman strength would keep the guys off her. I wonder what he'd do if they had weirdo Mike as a neighbour. I shuddered at the memory and made my way towards them. The woman looked at me up and down and gave me a sorry smile.

'_Yes, I know we can't all be runway perfections',_ I almost told her with a condescending nod and a smile. I walked behind them towards the door and she looked at me again.

"Hmm hi?" she said a bit unsure. "Can we help you?"

"Actually you can, I'm looking for this address and I wondered if I had it right." I knew I had it right, but I wouldn't tell her, 'no I was just trying to annihilate my self-esteem'.

"Yes, this is the address," she said sounding like she wouldn't even guess why could I be invited to this house. "Are you a guest?"

No I lived here all my life but I was away studying. DURH. Wow, Carrie was rubbing on me. I better stop. One hater a day is enough.

"Yes, Carlisle invited me," I answered truthfully.

"Is my dad admitting he had an affair?" the man boomed with a laugh. The woman elbowed him and shot him a glare.

"Emmet! Stop embarrassing us all. We know you don't care, but we do." She scolded him. "Don't even mind him. Carlisle has never invited a person to our family reunions, that's all. But you must be very important to him if you are here. Let's go in, we don't want to be late." She turned around without waiting for a response.

The man, Emmet, knocked on the door and stepped back. I stayed behind both of them hidden by their tall figures. Seconds later the door was opened and I heard a booming laugh again.

"Hi mom! I didn't know I had another sister! Why didn't you guys tell me?" I was very embarrassed now. Very, so very embarrassed.

"Emmet lower your voice, they already have newspapers to make news known." A woman's voice said with a smile on it. I knew it was Mrs. Cullen, since the man called her 'mom'. "Now, what are you talking about?" she asked as they stepped in.

"Well, apparently dad is going to tell us tonight, because he invited her over!" he said and he sounded happy. What was wrong with this guy? How old was he, 14?

The woman slapped the back of his head and gave me an apologizing smile.

"There is only one guest tonight, Emmet, and she hasn't arrived…" she trailed off as she saw me.

She was taller than me, but not much taller than the blonde woman. She had caramel hair that fell down her back and on her shoulders. She had blue eyes, like Dr. Carlisle.

"You must be Isabella, please come in" she smiled wider and then Emmet went on again.

"So, is she or not my long lost sister?"

"Emmet, stop scaring our guest now!" the blonde said to him, and then turned to me, "I'm Rosalie, Emmet's wife… I know what you're thinking, but he kept his mouth shut in church, he wasn't kicked out of his own wedding." She smiled wider.

I laughed a bit and shook her hand. "I'm Isabella, but please, call me Bella."

"Is Alice here yet?" Rosalie asked Mrs. Cullen.

"No, she went over to Jasper's so that they can come together. She'll be a few more minutes; I wouldn't be surprised if she is just going around the block to be fashionably late." She answered. Then turned to me, "oh, how rude of me, I'm Esme, make yourself at home. Carlisle! Bella is here!"

We went to the kitchen and I was awed at how nice it was. They had stools on the island in the middle of it. There was a large dinning room off to the side, but why would they use it, I loved the kitchen just as it was.

"I'm sorry, but I haven't finished dinner yet. I got distracted in the afternoon." Esme said blushing. What the heck?

"We know, I saw dad came back early this afternoon." Emmet said like he was talking about the weather.

"EMMET!" Rosalie shouted at him and he raised his hands in surrender. She pointed her hands to the living room and he left.

"Don't worry dear, it's been years, I got used to have no expectations to what may come out of his mouth. I'm just sorry for Bella." She turned to me and took my hand, "don't let him know you have any weakness, or something that may embarrass you."

I blushed, if she only knew how often I had embarrassing moments. I bet I'll have one tonight in front of Emmet.

"Oh my! You're a blusher. That will be a problem." Esme said.

Rosalie laughed and patted me in the back. "I'll hide as long as possible."

The doorbell rang and Rosalie went to answer it.

"Why don't you go too, Bella? I'm sure that's Alice and she was very much exited about meeting you."

I got off the stool and made my way to the doorway. Then I was frozen in place. I heard a voice I had listened to for too long today.

"Good evening Rose, is everyone here? Sorry, we're a bit late."

"That's okay, Alice isn't here yet." Then she talked to someone I couldn't see. "Hi Tanya, how's everything going?"

A very feminine voice spoke from the doorway, "all is going perfect; those tips you gave me on poses made my photographer happier than I've ever seen him." She walked in and I saw her.

She was just as beautiful as Rosalie. Maybe 2 or 3 inches shorter, but still taller than me. She was in a very short skirt and a big blouse that made her body even skinnier than it was. Rosalie looked healthy and beautiful, but Tanya could certainly use a dose of French fries. She saw me and smiled.

"This is Bella," Rosalie introduced me as Tanya came to shake my hand. "Nice to meet you," I hadn't moved from my place, but when she inched forward to give me an air kiss I snapped out of it and behaved like a non-ogling human being.

"Nice to meet you, too" I said.

As I spoke Edward's head snapped up and glared at me. Damn it, he hadn't forgotten. How come Dr. Carlisle never told me he would be here? I mean, with what went down in the hallway of his office I doubted he could for get to mention something as important as this.

"Oh, hello Edward, I didn't know you were coming." Dr. Carlisle said from behind me answering my thoughts. I bet he was a bit scared now. Just a little bit. Or maybe a lot, because Edward's eyes hadn't left my face yet and he was glaring stronger by the minute.

"Hi, my dears." Esme said coming from the kitchen. Giving Tanya a hug and walking towards Edward. "Is something wrong Edward?" she asked looking from me to him.

I lifted my eyebrows telling him to snap out of it and go punch a wall to get it out of his system. He was starting to scare me now. What the hell was I? His own personal demon? With such a nice family why would he act this way normally? Couldn't he put his differences aside just one night?

"No, everything is great. How are you, mom?" he said finally, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Nice to see you again." He said walking towards me, but it sounded like he was greeting a murderer or something. I nodded my head and turned to Tanya.

"I'm Bella, nice to meet you Tanya."

"Nice to meet you, too. I'm Edwards girlfriend." I don't know why she felt the need to add the last detail, but whatever. It did bother me that he was with somebody. Not because I wanted him, I wasn't suicidal. But because it was proof that he wasn't a cold-hearted he-witch all the time. Just with me.

I was a bitch when I wanted too. I went to him and shook his hand. "Likewise"

I turned to Esme and smiled. "Is there anything I can do to help, Esme?"

"Actually no, but let's just sit in the kitchen and wait for Ali while the boys finish watching the game."

I didn't know there was a game on; I realized that maybe right now John would be in front of a TV watching the same game that was playing on the next room. I felt tears prick my eyes, and tried to compose myself before they thought there was something wrong with me.

We walked to the kitchen and took our seats. I heard Emmet laugh and say "Hey Edward, man. Did someone kill your kitty? You look like hell."

"Why, thank you" Edward said sarcastically.

"No. seriously man. Are you okay?" Emmet asked, and I was surprised he didn't sound like a fool. He actually sounded worried.

"Don't worry about it. It's nothing important" Carlisle said, but there was a glitch to his voice.

"Whatever." Emmet said and fell quiet again.

"Bella?" Rosalie asked me. I hadn't realized they were talking and I was just staring out the window that led to their patio.

"I'm sorry, I was a bit distracted. What was that?" I asked feeling embarrassed that I had gotten caught eavesdropping.

"We were talking about jobs. Tanya and I are models, she is just starting, but she is doing great." Rosalie said. "Where do you work? In the hospital too?"

"No," I said "I met Carlisle there because I am doing an article on his specialty and I needed his opinion. I actually work for the Chicago Tribune. In the Living section, to be more exact."

"That's great! Could you make sure that they spell mi last name right when they publish my article? They always get it wrong and it's annoying."

"I know what you mean," I said as nicely as I could, fighting the urge to roll my eyes. Was she serious? And Edward called me shallow today. Had he not heard her speak? "But I don't think they'll write it in my section. That goes with gossip and celebrities and the more juvenile part of the newspaper."

"Oh, you mean you work in the boring part? Like politics and stuff?"

I laughed, "No, we do the very deep and touchy stuff." I said levelling my IQ to match it to hers, and probably killing a few points. "Like advise to people, and we talk about controversial things. For example I met Carlisle while doing an article about mothers who leave their children behind in the hospital and what happens to those kids afterwards." I explained for all of them.

"That's wonderful; I'd love to read it once it's done. Emmet and I really want to star a family. The auto shop is doing great and I am balancing very well my modeling and my personal life for once. I think we are ready." She said to me.

"Wait a minute, I'm not very up to date on Celebrities, but working in a newspaper keeps me kind of informed. Are you Rosalie HALE?" I said finally catching on, I'm sure I looked pretty dumb to them right now.

Rosalie laughed and nodded. "That's me, but please, just call me Rose."

"So, Bella when will the article be coming out?" Esme asked turning from the stove.

"It's going to come in something similar to a series. I want to get a lot of opinions, and I'd love to get yours too: as mothers, as mothers-to-be and as models." I said motioning to them. "There is more to the issue than just abandon. Put yourselves in that mothers place and think what may have made her give up her child."

They were quiet now.

"I see what you mean," Rosalie said, "not everybody is as lucky as us. I mean our men are perfect, but I know that they are not the only kind of men that there is out there."

She looked a bit sad, and I wondered what man could have hurt her in the past. She looked pretty strong, and with the way she handled Emmet, I was sure she could take care of herself. The door bell rung and I wasn't afraid to go and answer it, they had promised now that they weren't expecting anyone other than Alice.

Rosalie opened the door and a very bouncy little thing came in.

"Is she here yet? Is Bella here? I came later than I usually do just to give her time to get here, I knew I couldn't handle the wait just sitting around and doing nothing. Why aren't you answering? Hasn't she arrived yet?"

Rose started laughing and I ducked my head, was that Alice? She looked like a little Elf who had too much caffeine in Christmas morning. Gosh, I wish I had the energy that girl had.

"Calm down Alice, here is Bella. And hi to you too, by the way." Rose said patting her head and moving towards a very tall man holding Alice and trying to calm her down. He was almost done when she saw me. She jumped out of his grasp and came to me. She hugged me. Hard. Who knew she was this strong.

"Alice, honey, don't strangle her just yet. We like to keep our guests in one piece." The man behind her snickered. "Hi sis." He said to Rose then. They did look familiar.

Alice turned her head around without releasing me and stuck out her tongue at him. "That's Jasper, we got engaged a few weeks ago, and this is our celebration too, but welcome to our house." I hadn't looked at her yet, but she was shorter than me. She had short hair that was a bit. She was dressed in a very feminine, yet childish dress. She was going for the 'daddy's-little' girl look, and she was pulling it off perfectly, which wasn't too hard to do considering her size and jumpiness.

"So, we're ready then? Can we eat?" Emmet's voice came from behind me and I jumped a bit in my place. I thought I heard a laugh too, but I wasn't sure.

"Yes, honey," Rosalie sighed, but there was laugh and love in her eyes. "We can eat now."

"Great, cause Eddie boy here is giving the weather channel a run for its money in the boring department." Emmet said moving to the kitchen. They all laughed, but 2 people. Edward and I. Edward was glaring daggers at Emmet but they were love bites compared to how he looked at me before. I didn't laugh because he hated me enough already, so I didn't want to force my luck.

We moved to the Dining room that I thought they had no need to use and boy was I wrong.

The table could fit at least 14 people, and there were only 9 of us. However it was full of different appetizers and cold salads from end to end.

"Take a seat everyone." Esme invited us. "We don't want to wait much longer, do we Emmet?"

"Hell no! Is this all?" he actually looked sad. Would they need more? You could feed a battalion with all that there was here.

"No, don't worry; there are three more courses to go."

I hid my shock as well as possible and waited to be given a seat. Carlisle stood at the end of the table with Esme by his side. Emmet sat in front of her and Rosalie and Tanya followed sitting one in front of the other. Edward stood by Tanya helping her into her chair and then sat himself. There was an empty seat in front of him but I didn't want to be kicked under the table through dinner like he would surely do. Jasper came around the table and helped Alice in the seat that was next to the empty one. He then motioned to help me in and I saw there was no getting out of it. I smiled and thanked him.

"yey! We're sitting together. I knew it." She said grabbing my arm.

I laughed and patted her hand. She didn't loosen her grip and I felt the need to save my arm.

"Umm, Alice? I'm exited too, but I need my arm to type at work. I don't think you stopping my circulation helps."

"Oops, sorry. I just know we'll be the best of friends. I mean, my dad never brings any friends of my age and I know there are a lot of intern girls in the hospital. So I guess that you're a great person if he invited you." she spoke at a speed that had me looking at her mouth to catch on.

I felt like I had been given the best compliments in the world. "Wow! Thank you Alice, that means a lot to me. I just moved here 2 days ago and you guys are the first people I've met, aside from coworkers and my landlord."

"Really? So you haven't been out? Like, say, shopping?" she asked a bit too innocently. Something told me that I should be ready for an outburst of energy. I looked at Jasper and his eyes were between scared and amused. I shifted my gaze forward and regretted it immediately. Edward was whispering something at Tanya and she looked a bit red. I didn't want to know what it was. But it did hurt a bit; he was nice to her; and to his family, as long as they didn't make fun of him. Why not me? What had I done wrong?

"Hey, would you stop the PDA session? I'm trying to eat here." Emmet said through a mouthful of food. I thanked him internally as I saw Tanya's cheek redden and looked down at her plate.

"We've put up with Rosalie and you for too long, give me a chance." Edward said to him smiling. I could really see Emmet all over Rosalie without caring what everyone thought.

"Don't worry about him, dear." Esme said, "Just eat something. I made sure to use as least oil as possible." Esme said to Tanya. Anorexic much?

"What? No fat? What am I eating then? Veggies?" Emmet said with a face that was about to break into tears. We all laughed and started serving ourselves.

"So, Bella, do you want to go hang out sometime? We can go for a walk? Or to a restaurant? Or we can go shopping?"

"Actually shopping doesn't sound half bad." I said and there was a silence in the table.

"Oh, boy." I heard Esme murmur.

I looked at Alice and she was almost standing up on her chair.

"Alice, love? Just take deep breaths. Honey, listen to me. Just relax, honey you don't want to scare her off. Love?"

Jasper's voice was then drowned by Alice's scream in my ear as she hugged me.

"OMIGOD, WE'LLBETHE BESTOFFRIENDS." I tried swallowing and understood Esme's comment.

"Alice, honey, she needs to breathe. She's loosing even more colour; Alice, relax. I can see her veins, Alice!" Jasper snapped her out of it.

She let go of me and started saying 'thank you' over and over again, clapping her hands.

I breathed in much needed air and concentrated in getting the colour return to my face.

"Are you sure you're okay? You look a little pale still." Esme asked me.

I laughed, "No, I'm fine; she took me by surprise, that's all."

"You'll get used to it." Edward said and for once he wasn't glaring at me. I was about to smile at him when Alice asked me:

"So Bella, when do you want to go?"

"Actually this week doesn't sound half bad. I promised a friend I'll take her shopping and she already called me today." I explained.

"I thought you didn't know anyone in town." Carlisle said.

"I met her in the airport in Phoenix. I want to know my way around before I take her out." I really wasn't interested in telling them she was an eight year old.

"That's perfect! I have to make a plan to make the most out of our time." She was so exited I doubted she'd be bale to eat.

"Where do you work Bella? I can look for stores near by so that we can go during your lunch break or after work. My schedule is really flexible so I'm sure we can work something out." She was bouncing in her chair, and I could see it was taking a great deal of effort from herself to keep from jumping and crashing me in a bone breaking hug.

I liked Alice, she was very welcoming and she had liked me before we met. She was completely the opposite of Edward.

We kept eating and talking about our jobs. I found out that Rosalie was thinking of quitting modeling all together and start working in the auto shop with Emmet, she also wanted to manage Tanya's career and she could do both at the same time.

"Tell us more about your job, Bella. We were very interested in that topic and I'm sure you could use Alice's opinion as well." Rosalie said.

Was she crazy? I mean, Edward snapped his head up and glared at me, Carlisle almost choked in his soup and Emmet started laughing. I guess they had talked about what I did, or what went down in the hospital.

"Well, I'm writing an article about a controversial issue and I'd like to get your opinions. Also you guys too, if you can. That'd be perfect." I said trying to avoid the real topic of my investigation.

I was interested in the way this articled was unfolding, but the mysterious kid that was funder of the program kept nagging in the back of my head. I remembered then that I had read about other people that were on the project. The Cullen's. Of course, how could I miss that? I decided not to let it show because I wasn't writing about that topic yet. I was still in the other story. I made a mental note to revisit the subject alone; maybe the Cullen's knew first hand the identity of the boy. Maybe being friends with them will help my investigation. I had to tell them though. I wouldn't want to use them like some kind of trap. They seemed to be very nice people and it would take a few years until Lizzy could talk to me about grown up stuff, and by them I'll probably be loosing my memory. I laughed out loud at this and everyone shot a look at me.

"Sorry, I was thinking about work stuff." I said looking down and blushing. Everyone turned back to what they were doing except Emmet.

"Well, by the looks of it, it was a red hot topic." He laughed. I blushed deeply because i had no idea what would I tell them about.

I decided to go for the story of half the staff missing and they didn't find it funny at all, because... Well. It wasn't. Thankfully the topic ended and Rosalie made Emmet stop whatever comment he was about to make. I had to tell her thanks for that.

Alice and I started talking privately about the topic of my article, but soon the conversation was joined by everyone.

"I think it's fabulous that you are doing this," Esme said, "I mean, it's true what you said, a mother always loves her child. And maybe she thought that perhaps he or she would have a better way away from them."

"But there are many options, they don't have to give up on themselves, if they really loved their child they would try to be better for them." Jasper interjected.

"I know that if you give up your child on his first hour in this world you have no right to him or her whatsoever." Edward said with a straight face.

"What if that mother was in an abusive relationship? Would you want that child to grow up there? Social service would take them away anyways." I told him, "Sometimes the right answer isn't the most romantic one."

"Please! No matter what condition they had at home, they could get away from the guy, seek help, and do anything." He retorted.

I was amazed we were talking so peacefully about this now. Perhaps he was nicer on a full stomach. I'd remember to carry a treat with me every time I went out. If he wanted to behave like a child I'll treat him like one.

"Look, you can't get away from an abusive relationship that easy; but they are not the only things that could make a person give up their child. What if they were raped? What if they didn't choose to actually bring this child into the world?" I was starting to get mad. Sometimes it's not that easy, and although I don't approve of giving up on your child, but there are many things that could make a person give up their child and he wasn't putting himself in the position of them. Maybe because he was man it made it harder.

"Think about how bad you'll have to be feeling to give up Elizabeth." Esme said then, "Think that, for example, you were going to die and you had to give her up early so that it wouldn't hurt her as much. No matter how much it'd hurt you, you'd still do it because it was what was best for her."

I looked at him wondering who Elizabeth was. Did Edward have a daughter? Did he and Tanya… I did not see that coming. I mean he was about my age if not a couple years older, and Tanya didn't look like the mother type.

"yes, Edward. Where is Elizabeth today? I thought she'd be coming?" Alice asked.

"She is spending the night with Jessica, they are leaving tomorrow for their trip and they wanted to spend some time together. I promise we'll have her the entire summer; and you know how much she likes shopping. Thanks to you." Edward said.

I could see that he was very excited about having Elizabeth with him this summer. I'll admit it: he was even cuter when he was happy. His smile actually made my heart beat faster. Damn him. I had to remind myself of the glare he shot at my profession to stop staring at his face.

I starter thinking about other things and they brought me back to him. So, once upon a time he had been with somebody that probably did more math than counting calories ad grams in food. I'm not sure how would he react if I ever got to meet his daughter. I wonder if she had the same deep green eyes; or that unruly hair of his. I bet she was beautiful. Apparently that was something required to join the family. I'm sure the mother of the child was some kind of supermodel too.

I mean Tanya wasn't as beautiful as Rosalie, but she was definitely on the top ten.

We ate and talked through dinner, but I didn't comment on his daughter or what they were saying because I didn't think he'd like that.

Just before dessert and coffee we moved to the living room and sat on couches and love seats. Luckily Alice stood by me and I didn't feel left out. I promised myself to try and stop being the 9th wheel. (damn, it was a big car this one. hahahaha). But Mike wasn't in my list. And God forbid that I start dating my editor. It was a good thing John and I worked in different companies, or that would have been a bit embarrassing.

I made a date to see Alice this Wednesday. I guess she couldn't wait until Friday or the weekend. I told her that I still had to unpack and organize my furniture in a more appropriate way and Esme immediately offered to make Emmet come and lift things in the weekend. I internally clapped and groaned. I was happy because I could avoid Mike's offer, but I wasn't pleased with Emmet going through my stuff. By the end of the talk Alice had fallen asleep on Jasper's lap and I told them that they were then invited that night over my place for dinner.

At the sound of food Emmet quit complaining about being the labour force and got a grin on his face.

"Oh my god! Look what time it is, Edward! You know I have to wake up at 9 tomorrow and I need to sleep." Tanya chimed from the loveseat they were on. They had been quiet throughout the conversation and I didn't venture a glance at their place for fear I might start complaining about how unfair life was. He still hated me. He just kept it for himself tonight, for the sake of his mother, probably.

"It's only 11, Tanya. Chill. Half the people in this town are in a 6hour sleep most of the time." Emmet said from behind Rose's hair. They were past PDA and entering foreplay. I bet she would drag him by the collar of his shirt soon if they didn't leave themselves. They had no rush since they lived next door.

I was about 5 miles away from my place, but I was taking a taxi, so I didn't have to miss much sleep.

"It's not the same, Emmet. I can't work wearing blue shadows under my eyes." Tanya complained pulling Edward up from the couch.

"Why not? It's hot! People think you weren't sleeping for other reasons." He said wiggling his eyebrows.

"Emmet!" three voices shouted from different corners of the room.

I looked to one side to see Carlisle and Esme shaking their heads and Edward was glaring at him.

"I think I'll lock him down now," Rose sighed, "He can go on behaving like an adult for a few hours at a time only."

They all said their goodbyes and Jasper carried Alice to the car. I started to make my way to the main street and hail a cab when they called my name.

"where are you going?" Alice asked half asleep.

"I'm going to hail a cab. I'll see you on Wednesday. Call me and we'll work a time." I told her and waved goodbye.

"I don't think so Missy! I don't have a good feeling about this. I think it'll be better if we drive you home." Jasper opened the back door and I slid in. Alice slid y me and rested her head in my shoulder.

"I'm glad we met Bella. I think we all like you a lot. It'll be fun to hang out with someone that won't share information on their sex life with one of my brothers." She yawned and I started laughing.

"What?" she asked pulling her eyebrows together. "You don't know how annoying it gets." I had seen that same expression on another face. Lizzy's. Maybe her mother will let me take her out with Alice on Wednesday. I had to talk to her though; she'll probably come with us the first time to make sure she was okay. Maybe that was her who called and Tyler thought was a secretary.

I gave Jasper my address and we made small talk. He wasn't very talkative, he balanced pretty well Alice, I could see why she loved him.

We arrived to my place not 15 minutes later. Alice gave me a kiss and a hug.

I made my way into my apartment and saw a few notes on the floor when I opened the door.

'_I let the guys from the internet connection come in like you asked. I stayed with them throughout the installation and everything seemed fine. You can check that everything is in order. Tell me about your first day at work when we see each other again. Love,  
__Wilma'_

'_Your phone was ringing non-stop, they left several messages. And she really wanted to talk to you.  
__Love, Wilma'_

I would have to thank her later with something nice. She had gone above and beyond to help me during my first days.

I saw the flash in my answering machine and pressed PLAY.

'_Hey, it's me,'_ Carrie's voice said, _'I'm still waiting for you to call me and tell me how everything is going.'_

I pressed NEXT and heard the second one '_dude, I know you didn't have to work today, where the hell are you? I'm worried. Discard this message if you're getting some.'_ I could almost see the wink on her face at the end.

There were still two more messages left. I pressed NEXT and heard her voice again. This time it was sounding different.

'_Hey, I know this will hurt like a bitch, but if I don't tell you you'll kill me when you find out. Lily is pregnant. I saw her in the drugstore and she told me she was going for a second test to make sure she hadn't gotten a false positive. I'm sorry I had to tell you like this, but I knew you wouldn't like it if I kept it from you. Please call me when you get this. You'll need to talk and I'm here.'_

I was numb. Pregnant, did she say pregnant? That's why I left. I wanted that. I wanted it all. Why couldn't we have that? Even if it was by mistake, I wouldn't have cared. Was the problem me and not that he was too immature for commitment? What did he say? Was he going to try and be a better man for that baby? When the questions in my mind stopped going through my mind I sat on the couch and stared at the wall. My first thought was to hop back in a plane and confront him. What had I done wrong?

But I couldn't I had to try and make my life work knowing this fact. I wasn't in the mood to listen to another bad news. I ignored the last message flashing and made my way to the washroom to take my make up off. I got in the shower to try and ignore my tears. I didn't bother in wearing an entire pyjama set to sleep. I got one of my old t-shirts and hoped in my best friend the couch. I shut my eyes but with the tears not stopping I couldn't fall asleep. Finally I twitched one last time and felt sleep overcome me. By that time I knew I would have to wake up soon because of the sun coming in from the window. I didn't care I would have to face reality soon, I drifted off trying to find a place without anything in it. Just empty blackness.

* * *

AN: so here it is. it's very long compared o other chapters becuase i felt bad about not updating and wanted to make it up to you all, 1000 'thank yous hopping up and down' to brittany because her reviews made my day this morning when i woke up. hope you like it and if you don't tell me about it. you all know i love you all.  
see you!


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I woke up feeling like I had been run over by a truck, mauled by a group of elephants and tossed in chilling water. I was cold because my barely there clothes covered very little of my body. If it wasn't because of the searing pain in my chest I'd say I had a hang over. But this pain was familiar, and I hadn't been drunk since the morning after I found out about Lily and John.

Them, somehow in all of this mess they went from being the people from my childhood and turned into a plan for the future gone wrong. Lily had moved from Forks not long ago. She stayed in my house for a couple of months until she finally settled in a small apartment. Like most of us she moved to Phoenix in search of a better paying job and some time alone. Growing up in a small town really makes you want to head the hell out and meet more of the world. Many people like that environment, but from my class there were only 4 people that stayed there.

I tried standing up but I couldn't feel my legs. I couldn't feel anything, now that I thought about it. I looked down and saw that there was no part of me missing. But the part that was definitely not there couldn't be seen from the outside. My heart was gone, ripped into shreds in every place that I ever hoped of mending.

They were together; they were going to try and have a life with their baby. I knew they'd fight, I knew there'll come days where they'll want to throw everything out the window and have some time by themselves. But that was normal. That happened in every household.

I couldn't even wish them wrong. How could I wish somebody something when they were already getting everything I wanted? Will they move into our house? Probably yes. I mean, we were like sisters, I don't think changing houses would make her feel less guilty. Then something called my attention. Did she feel guilty? Did he? Sure, I knew they both loved me, but was their love stronger? He had defended her when we spoke. He had admitted it was his fault. It had been a first for him. Should that have been my hint that there was more to them than just the casual hook up?

Yes, it should have warned me. Did I consider it? No, when something happens that often you really stop paying attention to details and just accept it as it comes. Just like Carrie spoke of our love. We loved each other, but we were so used to it that the phrase meant nothing to us.

I had to get up, I had a job to get to and a life to live. I had to talk to somebody and fast. I hated to admit it but Carrie was right, I needed someone to talk to. However, right now, I felt like crawling in a hole, or at least escaping into a parallel universe where no one knew of me or my problems.

I hoped that the guys from the team were finally back and maybe they had enough content to make an edition without my article. I wasn't very interested in going to the hospital and bump into Edward again. He was handsome enough that it would be refreshing for my sight, but once his mouth opened I don't think it made it worth it. I started to wonder what the media could have done to him to awake this hatred towards us. I wasn't some sleazy paparazzo, but I had to accept that to get the best stories we had been trained to have no feelings. It was part of the job, news could only be new for so long. You had to be the first to get to the scene and make sure that no one got better shots. It was they way it worked. That's why I choose this section in the paper, I didn't like competing, mostly because I knew I was too kind to fight for my shred of news, and also because I knew they'd use my clumsiness as a weapon against me.

I finally got up from the couch and made my way into the washroom. I got ready and left. I realized I hadn't really seen anything this morning. Sure, I looked where I was walking, I made sure that I wasn't run over, but that wasn't seeing. I was going through the motions of what would be my routine but I wasn't living. I got to the office and realized I had seen very little of my morning. I decided to call Carrie and let her know I got her message and I how I was doing.

I dialled the familiar number and crossed my fingers. I felt just like you feel in the doctors office, just before you go in. you are in pain and you want it to stop, but in order for it to stop you have to go through more pain. I knew this would be good for me, that I needed to talk about how I felt. However, I didn't want to. I wanted to hide and not show how much this bothered me, even when I was the one who left. If she just found out that she was pregnant, that child was conceived while we were still together. I couldn't blame the innocent, but if you're cheating why couldn't you at least use protection? Had they hoped that she would get pregnant and I would just go away? Was this her plan? Lily wasn't one to plot against anyone, but she wasn't a saint. She was quiet. And john, well, I don't know anymore. Did he want this child? Would he want it the same way if it was mine?

In my reverie I didn't hear Carrie pick up.

"Hello?" she said again

"Oh, sorry. It's me, Bella." I said in a low voice. I called from the office to have many excuses not to break down on the phone. I'd have to try harder here to keep it in.

"Hey babe! Where are you? Why didn't you call me before?"

"Sorry Care Bear, I was having dinner with friends, and when I got home and got the message I didn't feel like calling right away. I had to sleep on it. But it didn't do any good, for I barely slept at all." I sighed.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I just left a message, I just didn't know what to do! I was shocked. I mean I didn't freak out on her, but I did freak out on John. I told him to tell you. and... Umm... I gave him you number to do so. I didn't know if he had called you or not." She said the last part in a hurry.

"Wait! What?! You gave him my number? How is that going to help me? Carrie, I can't believe you! I mean you are the one telling me to stay away from him! And you just pointed him in my direction?"

"Bella calm down! This time around is different right? I hear you already went to dinner with friends, you are starting a life. And he has started a life too; and I mean that in both ways. Do you even want him rushing back to you and leaving a child behind? Would you take him back no matter how much you wanted to?" She was now shouting back at me, "I mean, I know he will call you and make it all impossible, or maybe he will call you and finally put the lid on and just close all of his shit shut. But you guys have a history, you can't erase that!" she drew in a gasp of air when she heard my sobs.

"I know, but it's too soon. I thought, if anything, I would deal with something this big in a few more months. I a barely able to not think of him, and now when I think of him it also comes to mind his _family_." The words now seemed foreign. Whenever I thought of a family started by John, I always pictured myself in it. "I left because I couldn't have a family with him, and it turns out he can. Was it me the problem all along? Am I running from the wrong person? Should I try and fix me?" I was sobbing harder now and people ere starting to walk by my desk without apparent reason. I had never seen so many people going to the coffee machine in such a short amount of time.

"No Bella! Look, you went about this the right way. You wanted to be secure before you risked something as important as a new person in this world. Lily, well, she is just lily. I know what she is thinking, she is expecting him to snap out of his 'college boy' phase and become the knight in shining armor just because he is going to be a father. What I mean is, she likes to bet, she likes to take risks, and that is fine. We all should. It's just that sometimes you need to be surer of what you're betting. A child it's not something you can return to the store if it doesn't work out." She said. I know she wasn't sure of her own explanation. I mean what could you tell your friend that left because of her immature boyfriend when the same boyfriend suddenly is about to become head of a family?

"Look, I can't really tell you all that is going through my mind right now cause it involves a lot of coarse language. I know we have to talk long and serious about this, but I'm at work, and I can't right now. I'll call you on my break from a coffee shop. If I don't I'll call you after work. Ok?" I said trying to calm myself down. I didn't have to take it out on Carrie, and I had just snapped at her.

"'Skay. We'll talk latter for sure. And you didn't reply my question. Did the scum bag call you or not?"

"No, he didn't. I really have to go now, Carrie."

"'Kay, bye. Don't forget to call. I'll call you at 6 if I haven't heard from you. And what is your cell-phone number?" I knew that if by 5:50pm I hadn't called I'd be getting a call. So I gave her my number and hung up.

I looked around and saw everyone turn back into whatever they were doing before. I felt watched though. I hid myself behind my hair and went back into the research task. Minutes later a tall girl with dark hair came and started to talk to me.

"Hey, I am Angela. Ben's friend." She said smiling.

"Oh, hi!" I said standing up and giving her my hand. "How did the trip go? I heard you were one of the chosen few to get detained at the airport because of the storm."

She laughed and it didn't sound fake. It sounded right. "I was one of the chosen few, yes. But it wasn't as bad as you'd think it was. It was good to see how your coworkers would behave in a extreme situation. After 2 days of no shaving or deodorant the ones that couldn't stand each other bonded friendships and the ones that stuck together always were at each other's neck. Mostly it was all because of material things, so I wasn't very involved in the changes. I did make notes on their behaviours. You'd never think they were respected journalists." I was very taken with Angela. I knew she was one of the people that had seen me cry on the phone, but she didn't ask a question and I appreciated it. I also knew that the Gossip Girls were going to eat it out of her later to see what I had told her. I felt like I could tell her anything and she wouldn't speak a word of it if I asked, but right now I was trying to ignore my hell of a life, so I just introduced myself and told her how glad I was I had met her and to tell Ben thanks for the introduction.

"Yeah, he is a great guy" she said with a smile that had her eyes shining. She had the same look Ben had, but something told me that neither of them knew how the other felt. They were both pretty shy, despite being very open when it came to friends.

I wouldn't ask her about the reasons, but maybe with time I could give them hints in finding their way.

"I should really call Ben and tell him thanks; do you want to stick around while I do it?" I asked her, her smile grew a bit and she nodded sitting by my desk.

I pulled the card and it caught my attention again how little detailed it was. Just a simple job description and a phone number.

"Where does Ben work? It says very little in his business card." I asked Ang, she must have a bit more info that I had, since she knew him longer." I think he worked for some hot shot lawyer. I'm not sure though. I know he does assists him but more with his personal affairs than with jobs. He is in charge of making sure he doesn't miss important dates in his family and such. He is a good person, but keeps to himself." She said, I saw that she knew more than she let on, but I wasn't going to drain her for information. That was enough for me.

"Should I call his cell phone, or the office?" I asked unsure. Why would a personal assistant need an office when he was running around accommodating his boss?

"I think you would be luckier trying his cell-phone." Angela said nodding.

I dialled the number and he picked up after three rings. There was a background noise, like he was in a fun park or something.

"Hey Ben. It's Bella. The klutz from the plane?" I gave him a hint forehand just to not have him searching too far to place me.

"Oh, hey! How is the move in going? When do you start work?" he asked excited

"Actually I was called in earlier than I expected they had a problem with some staff members, but they are back, so things have slowed down a bit. How are you doing?'

"I'm great!" he did sound like having fun, I was thinking of switching career choices right now, "I'm in a special assignment for my job which includes a lot of visits to the zoo and water parks." He was laughing at the end, and I heard a girl's voice laughing in the background.

"Sounds like it," I smiled, "I just wanted to thank you for calling Angela. She is very nice." I added smiling to Angela and she smiled again.

"I knew you guys would click; tell her hi for me when you see her again." He asked.

"Actually, she is right here, why don't you tell her yourself. I should really get back to work." I said my goodbyes and promised to call him some other time and gave the phone to Angela.

"Hey there!" I heard her say, and then went back to my job giving her some privacy.

Minutes later she paused the conversation and asked me.

"So, they are going for drinks this coming weekend and he asked me to tell you to come too. He said some people from his job are meeting up and he knows you have nothing big planned for sure." She said with a roll of her eyes.

"I know, tell him than I do have plans for Saturday that I'm not a social disaster as much as he makes me look." I said rolling my own eyes.

Ben must have heard me because he didn't give her time to pass on my message.

"He says Sunday is fine too, but they need to leave earlier because they work early on Monday." She said covering the phone this time

"Tell him yes, then, I'd love to hang out with all of you."

"She's in!" Angela said excitedly, "what time and place?... sure, no problem.. oh, ok… yeah, us too… great!.. Ok I've got to go now, I'll tell her. Bye." She hung up and turned to me.

"I know you haven't had much experience around the city, so I'll drive you there and back, it'll give me an excuse not to drink," she said with a wink, "I don't want to make a fool of myself in front of everybody. They all work for the same guy, he is taking a week off so they are going to have a bit of more time the coming week. They are celebrating it." She explained.

"Do you know where are we going? I have to dress accordingly." I explained.

"Actually, how about we go shopping this week, I have to buy something for myself, and I can show you what you can wear."

"Sure! How does tomorrow sound? I already have a date with a friend to go shopping, so I'm sure she'd love to have you come too. She is a great girl, with a lot of energy." She better believe my words, or she'll be shocked by Alice. And if she plays her cards right, she may also get close to choked, like it happened to me during dinner, I added to myself.

"Great, so I'll see you after work here tomorrow. Where are you guys meeting?"

"Right here, she is picking me up so that there is no risk of me escaping." I said rolling my eyes

"Not a big fan of shopping, huh?" she smiled at me.

"Not much, but I've been doing it a lot lately with all the moving and everything. So I better let you both take advantage of it while you can. Maybe get it out of your systems, you know?" I shook my head. Five months ago if they had told me I'd be in this position I'd have told them to get off whatever drug they were on and step on real ground. Now I wake up every morning thinking if this is a dream or a nightmare. I no longer know. For once I know I won't fall back in the same routine, but half of me is missing because of it, and I want that half back. I want it within me.

Noticing my longing look Ang grew quiet. "I should really head back to my desk. I'll e-mail you later ad we can chat some more over tea." She turned around and left, I sighed and went back to work.

Thirty minutes later my phone rung again, would there be no end? I better don't get any bad news or my system will shut down for good.

"Isabella speaking," I said into the phone and cursed myself for not asking if we had any type of greeting at al. I made a small not and posted it on my desktop.

"Hi, this is Lauren, I'm calling on behalf of Lizzy, and she said you met her in the airport in Phoenix." The girl said with a shrilling voice. I pictured her being bothered by the small girl while she did her sails. I shuddered at the mental picture of her popping a bubble gum and replied quickly

"This is her, how may I help you?"

"_Finally!_ I mean, could you hold for a sec?" she didn't wait for my reply, she just left.

"I sighed and read over what I had typed of my article, it was coming along pretty well.

"Hello?" I recognized the voice and a smile lit up my face.

"Hi Lizzy! I'm so happy you called, what did your mom say?"

"Actually she left this morning, so I got my dad's assistant to call for me." She said with an evil laugh. I was really starting to like her just for the fact of pissing off the assistant. I knew what it was like to have parents off in their own little world too.

"I don't know if I should praise you for that, but I can relate. So thumbs up!" I laughed and it felt right again. Just like that first time, Lizzy was a safe escape; she was one of the things I had to look forward to here in Chicago.

"How's you job doing? I called you yesterday but they said you were at some hospital…" she sounded worried

"I was fine, I was actually doing my job at the hospital, I had an interview there. How's your vacation going so far?"

"It's good, my dad's taking a vacation next week so he'll have more time with me, right now I'm just hanging out with his assistant. But he is a fun guy too. I do want to see you soon though."

"I know, I haven't forgotten about our shopping trip. I've made arrangements with my coworker to show me around tomorrow, so as soon as you ask for permission we'll be able to go. I'll know my way around by then"

"Really? I'm sure my dad wouldn't mind as long as Ben comes along, but I'll ask anyways."

"You said Ben?" I was confused. I knew a Ben. I knew a Ben who was an assistant. "Is Ben tall and has dark hair?" I asked

"Yes! How did you know?" she asked excited

"Was Ben in a water park with you this morning? And visiting the Zoo two days ago?" I asked again, I knew I hadn't answered her yet, and it'll bring me problems, but I needed to get the story straight.

"yeees." She said cautiously, "how did you know?" she asked again.

"Well, I met Ben at the, umm, airport?" it came out as a question. Was Ben making sure Lizzy was doing okay?

"Yeah, he went to pick us up when we arrived." She said finally catching on

I couldn't be sure, but hadn't she known he was in the plane since we boarded in Phoenix? I decided not to tell her anything and figure it out later.

"That was where!" I said to her and then had nothing else to say. What did I ask her about? Her family? What if I mess up again? Talking on the phone wasn't the same as in person. I could read her expression and figure it out what her train of thought were, now I was in an dead end.

"I have to leave, my dad has packed my day with things, and I just had this small break and thought to call you. Do you know your home phone number now?"

"Actually I do, do you have a pen?' I heard her ask someone for a pen and a murmur in the background. Did she have more than one people looking after her? Was this guy very rich, very paranoid, or both?

"Ok, tell me." She said and I did.

"Did you get that?" I asked when I was done.

"Yes," she repeated the numbers for me and I checked them

"That's right. You can call me after 6pm; I should be home by then."

"Ok, bye Bella, see you soon!"

"Bye Miss Lizzy, be good with the assistants."

"Yeah right, I'll tell you about it later." She giggled. Oh, they were in for trouble.

I laughed at her ways and hung up.

No more calls today, please. It's been a rollercoaster since this morning. I was deciding whether or not to disconnect my phone when Tyler called for a meeting. I groaned and made my way to the lunch area, where people were already gathered. Angela came a few seconds later and I waved her towards me. She came and smiled and nudged me with her elbow. I didn't understand what it was about until Tyler started speaking.

"So, everyone, while the hurricane kept you all in lock down, we got a new member to the team. Everyone meet Bella. We introduced her to the few that were here yesterday, but we have most of the team in today, so I decided to get it over with." I waved my hand to let everyone know who was he talking about and blushed a deep red.

Great, now Esme's description of 'blusher' will get stuck here too. I much hoped they weren't into it, but I doubted it.

"so, now that that's known. She will be working in an article that will take a few issues. Chances are it won't be print for everyday's issue, but it all depends on how popular it'll become. She is going to be asking for your opinions on the subject probably and you guys aren't obligated to answer, so, don't feel like you have to say one thing or another, it'll be anonymous, even though she will be asking you the questions. Now, for you all losers that got stuck in the beach and not precisely under the sun, you all owe me drinks because I was at the end of my patience and pulling my hair out. So, this week we will be going out. That's all. You can take you breaks if you want now, or later. Up to you. I'll see you all around." He seemed much more relaxed now that he had a full staff here. I guess this is what Angela meant when talking about stressful situations and human behaviour. I would definitely be talking a bit more into it with her.

The rest of the afternoon went uneventful. At lunch Angela and I went out for lunch and talked a bit more.

"Do you miss home, Bella?" Angela asked after a pause.

"You could say that," I laughed without a hint of humour in my voice.

"Don't worry; I felt the same when I moved down here." She said with a hopeful smile, "In a few more months you'll feel like you've lived here your entire life."

I felt grateful for the effort she put into giving me hope. I'm sure the circumstances in which I moved here were different than hers, but I had no interest in having her question me; any other day it would have helped to talk to someone like Angela, but today I still had to come to terms with myself.

"Oh, my! Look at the time. We better leave; I don't think we should put Tyler under more stress this week." She smiled and stood up from the booth. We were at a local café and it felt really quiet and cozy there. Like an old cabin in the woods or something alike. It felt away from the noise of civilization and their thoughts. Lately I felt like everyone harassed me in their minds. I was feeling more than self-conscious of each of my steps. I didn't know anymore if I'd mess up or fix anything the next step. I was afraid of making decision. The stupid stunt that Lily and John pulled, had me doubting everything.

We walked to the office in silence. When we got there I had another call to be answered.

I took the message from one of the girls there and read it.

_'Isabella,_

_Alice__ called. She said to tell you to call her back to plan tomorrow.'_

Did I feel like shopping? No. did I feel like being at home a lone like I'll probably be until I'm 60 when I go into an asylum? No. so, I took the lesser of the two evils. Hide from reality and fake normal. I called her back.

"Hey Alice" my excited tone sounded fake even to myself. I hoped that she doesn't take it the wrong way, but I didn't feel like explaining either.

"hey Bella…" she trailed off, "is everything ok? You sound different. Gosh, I really hope I'm not bothering you at work!. You said it was fine to call, but maybe you were just being nice. I can call you later…" she kept talking at full speed.

"Alice, Alice! Calm down. Don't worry it's not that. It just hasn't been my day. I'm sorry, but I am still up for shopping tomorrow. I may be bringing a friend of mine from work, if that's ok with you."

"Sure. No problem. The more the merrier. I may bring a friend too, I am not sure if Rose and Tanya will make it. They had some shooting to go to." I was glad Tanya wasn't going to be there. She wasn't a bad person. I didn't even know why I didn't like her that much. She had been only nice to me. I blamed my nerves for my edginess and brushed it aside.

"That's too bad. Maybe some other time." I knew I didn't sound very sorry, I didn't even think she thought me alive by this point of the conversation; but it'd have to do. It was almost the end of the day and I had no energy for faking anymore.

Alice caught up on my mood and said we'd meet tomorrow at 5:15pm downstairs in the lobby.

After I hung up I stared blankly at my screen. It went into screensaver a few minutes later, but time didn't seem to matter anymore. I just looked at it. I didn't realize I had tears running down my face until they fell on my desk and I heard the drop.

I took a deep, calming breath and looked at the time. Good, it was almost 4PM, one more hour and I could leave. I had to talk to Carrie tonight, but that'd be in m apartment. I could scream and yell there all I wanted there. I wouldn't have much of an audience.

I opened my latest rough draft for my article and read it over. I added a few more comments that waltzed into my mind and a few from Angela's view.

She had grown up in a religious family. She had different views from everybody, and they fascinated me all the same. I kept typing away until I noticed people starting to say their goodbyes and leave. I saved it and closed down my computer after saving it on my Flash memory stick. Maybe I'd get inspired at home in my new office.

I put everything in order and said my goodbyes to the remaining people.

One hour later I made it home with a searing headache from the noise in the street and the traffic jams. I better get used to it or resolve to take a later shift in the office. I saw the message light that had been flashing since yesterday. I sat and looked at it measuring whether or not it was worth of being heard. It could be something important; however there was only one message, the same from yesterday, if it had been very important they could have contacted Carrie, and then me, through her. _Apparently it wasn't that hard for her to keep her mouth shut about my whereabouts. _Oh, god! I sounded like a sour old woman. I stopped being a mental bitch and pressed PLAY.

_"Hey Bella, it's me_." I knew that voice. I feared it. I felt the urge to hug my knees preparing for what could come next. _"By now I know that Carrie must have called you, she gave me a time period to do it, but it just took me more than a few hours to figure it out how to tell you." _I was shaking with rage and hurt, I tried not to pass out because I was alone in my apartment now.

_"I know this is not going to make anything better between us. Not that I expected you to come back this time, but I did hope that someday we could still be friends. All of us. I'll just tell you what you know. Lily is pregnant. No more than a few weeks, for sure; But long enough to hurt you. She is happy, who wouldn't? But she knows how much this will make everything worse. _

_"I'm sorry for all the pain Baby. I love you. I can't deny that. I know you love me too, but this doesn't feel right anymore. We've been trying to glue it back together because we do love each other. It's just that it's not the right kind of love. Please call us. I'm pretty much staying at her place. I didn't want to go back to our place but if you call my cell phone I'll answer anything you want to know. Take care of yourself. Bye"_

And with that he hung up. I replayed random phrases in my head 'our place', 'I'm staying at her place', 'who wouldn't?' And with every sentence I went down in a spiral. They were happy. They were going to have this baby and, probably, a happy ever after. He was trying, and failing, to not hurt me, but every word that left his mouth sent me down and down until I was lying on the floor sobbing without reason to stop. I heard my phone ring and ignored it. The regretted it. It was Carrie, she left a message threatening me to a list of tortures and I dialed her number back.

"Thank god, woman!" she answered.

"hey." Was all that I say for a greeting

"You talked to him." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. She could tell I was broken.

"Not exactly," I said between dry sobs. "he left a message yesterday, but I was too tired to listen to it. I just heard it." I don't think she could understand much by the end of my sentence.

"Bella, you have to calm down a bit. Look, would you want him with you even though he behaves like a prick? Would you rather have him like that than getting over it?"

"Getting over it?! You think it's that easy? I gave him eight years of my life. I lived for him. I followed him on every fucked up plan that he thought of. I don't want him back that way, I just want to stop. To stop loving him, to stop loving all together if that's what it takes! I don't know what to do Carrie. He was in every plan that I made for my future. and now I'm here stuck in a city where I know no one while he is getting the live that I wanted. He didn't want that. Now he doesn't sound like he is too thrilled with it, but he has it. He has what I wanted, and I can't even go back and try and have the same." I was out of air, my chest was heaving up and down and I heard Carrie on the other line breathing heavily.

"Bella, you have to try and move on, stop thinking about what he has or what he doesn't want. Think about how to get what you want, think about it for yourself, not because he got it and you want to show him how it's done. Just be happy, for yourself. Enjoy your new friends, enjoy and explore your new life. Do you need someone by your side right now to be happy? Try and use the time alone to think what you want. And then once you know what it is, just enjoy yourself. Don't start turning down people because they don't look like father material on the first date. You can't settle down and have a kid in the next year anyways, not until you are more secure in your workplace and you feel ready. You can't go into teacher's college if you have a newborn anyways. Just take it slow, starting from zero doesn't mean starting at your goals. It means start to work towards them." She was calm, forcing me to calm down with her words. If she were here she'd let me, even encourage, tear my apartment apart. However she wouldn't let me get my rage out when I was by myself.

I let he talk me out of it and after a warm shower I fell in a dreamless slumber without bothering to get food in me.

* * *

Fanfiction is being impossible. to calm your fury i decided to give you all a longer chapter than expected. show me the love. ;) and blame the lateness on the website cause this chapter has been done for 2 days now... :S


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

I woke up feeling amazingly relaxed and optimist. Sure I just lost two of my long time friends. Sure I just threw in the trash the last 8 years of my life, and I probably have a bout 300 people waiting for me in Forks to give me their pitiful looks. However, Carrie was right, damn her! I had to make my own life. Was I secretly hoping that he'd turn into my knight in shining armour and sweep me off my feet? Yes. Was I aware that it was delusional to even dream so? Yes. I took a deep breath and stood up. I really had to get shopping today for sheets and sorts; the couch was starting to hurt me.

I got ready and went to the kitchen to raid my newly stocked fridge. I had bought so many things and I barely ate at home. I took out a few fruits and put them in my purse. I had no time for a fancy breakfast. I thought I could get a coffee with Angela later on. I left a note for Wilma telling her that if they brought my books and other things to let them in and just leave it on the living room. I had slept for a long time last night; I guess that I had finally rested all that I needed so I was feeling oddly enthusiastic. I got out the map Wilma had given me and traced the route to my job. I'd take the public transit today that I had more time.

It wasn't difficult. I asked for directions and even met a woman from Egypt that was going near by my side of town. It took me a little bit longer than the taxi would, but for that price it was worth it. Some other day I'd explore the subway. 50 minutes later I was in my office. I had to call Alice and let her know that I was still up for shopping today.

"Hello?" she answered in a groggy voice.

Damn, well, no going back now. "Hey Alice. I'm sorry; I didn't realize it was too early still. I'll call you later today."

"Wait, Bella! No, it's fine, I actually overslept, so thanks for waking me up," she laughed. I heard a mumbling in the background and I guessed that she was waking up Jasper.

"Last night we went out with Emmet, Rosalie and… umm, the rest," did she know how much I loved her for not giving me details of Edward? I had to secretly thank her.

"Really? How is Rose? I really liked her. She started up a little bit strong, but after a while she relaxed." She realized I was no competence, I added mentally. I didn't mention Tanya there, and I was sure Alice would pick up on the hint. I had invited them all for dinner this coming weekend, but I was sure those two wouldn't come.

"She is great, we were celebrating Jasper's and mine engagement in a more juvenile way, you know. I had called earlier to ask you to come too, but you didn't sound like you were up to it. Next time you must come." She pressed.

Of course I wasn't up to it! The only thing I was up to was a murderous act, and it wouldn't take place in this city; although if I had crossed paths with Edward yesterday, I wouldn't have minded a warm up.

"Yeah, sorry if I snapped at you. I didn't mean to. Things weren't going well yesterday, and I wasn't cooperating with all the stress. I didn't sleep soundly so…" I trailed off.

"I know there is more to it, but you can tell me later." She said like she was sure I would. Would I? I had to think about that for a second. Talking about it with Carrie helped. Would it help, too, if I talked to Alice?

"I will not make any promises." I told her simply. I wasn't sure yet. Angela and Alice would be great listeners, but was I ready to e the speaker and start the story from zero? They couldn't really understand how it was if they hadn't lived through it.

"How are Esme and Carlisle?" I did really like them too, they were very welcoming. I had to see Carlisle soon again. Maybe he was successful in asking other doctors to work with me.

"They are fine. Carlisle asked yesterday night if I knew how was the article coming, but I didn't have anything to tell him." She said apologetically, "Esme has taken on another project. She isn't even done yet! It's like she works even asleep."

"I actually envy her. Sometimes decoration ideas can come up in your sleep, and she actually gets to practice them. Something like that would be my dream job, but I'm no good with drawing."

"She wasn't very good when she started," Alice chided, "she used to just make notes on the colours and maybe some shape to remind her of it, with the years she started drawing more and more."

"Really? So I still have hope?" I laughed.

"You do! Listen Bella, I'm kind of late. But I'll talk to you before I leave the store, ok?"

"Oh, sorry Alice! Bye, I'll see you later."

"'Bye" she hung up.

I checked my personal e-mail crossing my fingers. 47 new messages. I knew it. I checked the senders and immediately deleted messages from all of my classmates from Forks. I guess it's true what they say: Bad news arrive faster. Was it bad news this time? I wasn't too sure. Of course I wish I had the luck of Josh and get that life, but was I ready? No.

Would I take away from Lily that privilege? Never. I wasn't that selfish, and I loved them both. In a sick way all of my reasoning made sense to me.

By the time I had all messages deleted only 12 remained in my folder. 7 of them were from my mom, 2 were some kind of spam and the last three were from Jacob, and my dad. Jacob didn't care much what state I'd be. He'd always end me some kind o joke or something interesting that had been sent to him. I opened his first email just the same way you pick to hear the good news over the bad ones. After wiping the tears from my eyes, I felt better. These were tears of laugh; the ones that made your eyes sparkle. Not the ones that turned them red and flushed your face to an embarrassing, for me, shade of red.

I read my dad's message and smiled to myself. He'd be on my side no matter what. He did want to know where I was and how was I doing. He understood that I had to get away, but I'd never deny him this right. I typed a quick message and gave him an overview of my new life. That'd be all for about 2 more weeks. We loved each other, but we weren't too big on words. We just knew that the love was there. No need to display it to the world.

I looked at my inbox and groaned at the subjects of my mom's emails. I deleted the first four without even reading them. I felt like a bitch but I didn't need to hear from her how big of a mistake I was turning my life into. Then I opened the oldest one of the remaining three. I skimmed over it. She wanted to know where I was and how was I doing. I felt no need to hide anymore, since there was no chance in hell that I'd go back to John now. I no longer feared the thoughts of those that knew us. He had messed up worse than I had. Right now I only got pity from common friends. And apparently from my mom, I added, as I read her 2nd e-mail.

The third one was from last nigh. She was going into full parental mode calling me 'missy" and promising that she'd tell my dad I wasn't giving any signals of my whereabouts. I typed a quick response and blamed my tardiness on my new job. I told her I had made new friends and that everything was going fine.

I opened my work e-mail and found a few chain letters that had been forwarded to me. You'd think at the age of 27+ people would stop believing in those things. I didn't give them a second look and erased them all. I opened the old files about the boy again. Since I was working in the office I had just a little bit more information than you normally would have. However it wasn't nearly enough. Because he was a minor they didn't give his name, and even if they did he was surely adopted and changed his last name. The last one wasn't very hard to find. Apparently his parents were social figures and their last name was well known. Maybe Angela knew somebody that had worked on the newspaper long enough that remember this story and has a bit more of information.

Somebody had to know the family if they were public figures, they had to have some connections that would have made sure their son was taken care of in case something happened to them.

I kept looking through the sites, sites where his parents had been mentioned, they never talked about his son, and believe me, the media tried. Hard. I couldn't understand, though, why would he hide who he was? Didn't he know how important his job was?

I was starting to feel like a stalker when I a voice calling my name made me jump. I had been leaning towards the monitor, and I snapped my head around looking for Angela's face. She looked... Amused. That was the only explanation I could have given. She wasn't surprised. It was more of an 'I didn't think you were the type, but it's ok' look.

"Hey, am I interfering?" she asked looking from my desktop to my face.

"N-No." I answered too fast, "I was just doing some background check in this organization and I was very into the lecture. I had forgotten where I was." I explained. Then I shut up. I was a bad liar, and good liars got caught by giving too many details. I'd give her none.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to go for lunch somewhere. We can just buy something and eat it in the park right by the tower. It's really sunny today; we should take advantage of it."

"Sure, Angela. Let me wrap this up. I'll meet you at your desk." She turned to leave and I breathed out a gasp of air. What I was doing wasn't exactly illegal, but it wasn't very polite either. If someone didn't want to be found they should be forced to, should they? As it was, the fact that he created this program and helped children and got nothing in return was very unselfish of him, but I've learned the hard way that no one is as good or bad as they seem. Was the boy, now a man for sure, hiding something? Was I the only one that got so interested in his fate? Did the rest of the reporters give up this easily? If his parents were as important as they seemed to it wasn't likely that they had given up on the boy so easily. There was definitely more to the story. And I would find it. I closed my computer, took my purse and jacket and walked to where Angela was standing.

"So, how is your article coming along?" I asked trying to avoid the topic of research of coming back to me.

"It's ok, I work with the public and it's just a matter of picking the best concerns and giving an answer to them. However I'd like to answer everyone, but I don't have enough time." She sighed. She was a very nice person, and she did want to help people with their troubles. I'd like to think that she would have been a teacher or counsellor if this job wasn't better than teaching. Yet, I waned to be a teacher. Was I choosing right this time? Would it be worth it? Nothing is what it seems to be. I remembered a quote from Macbeth then "Fair is foul and foul is fair/ Hover through the fog and filthy air". That pretty much described my life lately. It was a tragedy. Bittersweet sometimes, just plain bitter others.

"Bella?" Angela's voice brought me back from my thoughts. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I laughed, "I was just thinking that my life is turning into a parody of Macbeth."

"Wow, not very positive today are we?" she laughed. "If I was like others that practice my profession I'd start talking about your aura and how bad is it going to affect the outcome of your day, but I think it won't help much right now, and because we are shopping this afternoon, I'm sure we'll have fun and snap you out of it." She was laughing now harder.

"Thanks Ang. I know it doesn't really sound very optimistic. But it's how I feel. That's all." I sighed. To tell or not to tell? What the heck, I told myself. Let's see how this goes. I can't 'untell', but I can stop whenever I feel like it's too much, right? "I didn't exactly leave Phoenix because of this great job," I said waving my arms around. "There were other things. It was mostly an escape from my life; I was looking for a fresh start. So, there are days that I'll be glad I left, like today; and there'll be others when I just want to crawl under a rock and forget I even exist. I'll tell you about it all someday. Let's just focus on lunch for now." I felt right, not better, not worse. Just right. Angela didn't comment. She knew I'd tell her and let her help me, but now I wasn't ready yet.

"There is this cute dinner that I like to go to with people from work," she said with a smile, "It's very old fashioned, they have that oldies music playing and the décor looks like one of those old trains." She giggled. I knew what she was talking about.

We got there and it didn't disappoint. The colours were funny. Very classy and yet fun. I was expecting some silly outfits for the waitress, but it would be sillier if the girl wore it as she should. Right now she looked like a hooker brought in from the '50s.

Angela looked at me and gave me an apologetically smile. I guess this was the only 'but' to the place. It was pretty calm inside and we had a nice chat about what we were both working in. she had decided not to embarrass her coworkers by analyzing then because it would make them sound a bit hypocritical when they sweet talked their readers into caring more for the spiritual and not the material.

"I'm just going with the Flow. With summer starting, many people go away and meet new people or people from their pasts, and they come with more questions and doubts than they did before. That means more work for all of us." She explained and I nodded. I could see what she meant. She would have pulled her hair off if she ever caught me in one of my on/off stages with John. I did have questions. Thankfully I had Carrie and she made sure with sarcasm and hard truths that I felt no need for therapy or "Ask an Expert" newspapers articles. I looked up at the clock on the wall and realized we had to leave. I still had some work to get done on other of my articles for Tyler, and I wanted to finish earlier than expected so I could leave and not make Alice wait downstairs.

"Going green," I spoke aloud the theme for our issues next week. With the full staff back and ready we had this week covered. My article would be coming out on the weekend and depending on it's acceptance I'd keep on working on it or it's be a one time thing. In case it turned out for the worst I'd revisit the topic again for sure. Maybe taking different approaches to the topic in question captivates more public. We do need photographs. However it'd be a very hard thing to get. I doubt the parents of the adopted children would want their kids on the spotlight, and I also doubted the agency would let me photograph any of the newborns. So, that was straight out of the question.

"Getting inspired, I see," Tyler's voice sounded in the background. "Listen, a few of us are getting together this weekend, maybe you'd like to come.

"I have plans for both nights already, sorry Tyler. Next time for sure, you have my word." I didn't like the sound of me going out with Tyler alone, but I had to socialize with more people from the group. It was the only way to make things work better. However I had heard the phrase 'a few of us'. Last time I ended up alone with the guy that said it, so I wasn't falling for that one again.

"Great, I'll let you know." He said a little bit sad but he got over it quickly.

My phone rung and I picked it up right away because I had nothing else to say to Tyler.

"This is Bella," I greeted.

"Hey Bella!" Alice's chipper voice came from the receiver. "I never thought I would say these words, but something came up and I have to take care of my niece for a bit longer than I was supposed to. Do you mind if we postpone the shopping trip for about 30 minutes? I don't think I'll be able to make it on time.

"That's okay Alice, how about we postpone it and we meet you at a place closer to where you are?" I tried accommodating her.

"That'd be perfect! It'd change my itinerary, but I know the mall around here by heart so it won't take us very long. And we can go to more places!" she sounded excited about the last part and I inwardly groaned. Did she not realize I had to get up very, very early to arrive at my job on time?

"Alice, about the more places part, I have to work tomorrow, so I need my rest. And when I get home I have a lot of unpacking to do. I'm living out of my suitcase, I haven't organized anything and I should be getting a truckload of books and other things today." I pleaded with her. She had to understand that I haven't been one week here yet.

"I know, I know. But I'll help you! We'll both go to your house and we'll play music and dance around putting things in their place. You know? Movie style!" she said with a grin in her voice. She liked this idea more and more every second.

"Alice, we're not having an all-nighter tonight. Maybe on Saturday when you guys come over, but I have to work tomorrow." I sighed. I felt bad for bursting her bubble, but I couldn't just let her rearrange my schedule just like that. I smiled inwardly, Carrie would be proud to see me.

I realized that Alice was the opposite from Carrie. I never thought I would like someone that chipper, hyper, and what ever other name you may call her; I guess narrowing my options has changed my view of the world. She was very open to me though, if only her brother were the same… I stopped that thought and went back into my conversation.

"But Bellaaaaa…" she whined. I could see her eyes getting bigger, and her bottom lip trembling. Damn it all.

"Alice, I promise we will have your sleepover, but not tonight. Please." I begged. So much for standing up for myself.

"Fine!" she huffed. "But you WILL make it up to me." Was she always such a spoiled little thing? She was.

"Now, now! No bullying the new kid. Ok?" I laughed. Well, I had been bullied by her older brother already.

"Whatever, I have an important task to get back to, now. I'll talk to you later."

"Oops! Sorry, I didn't know you were at work." I apologized.

"I'm not. I'm giving my niece a makeover, and maybe she'll give her dad a heart attack and he'll loosen up a bit. Right?" she said the last part to whoever was with her.

"I'm sure Edward would love that." A male's voice said behind her.

Alice laughed and I was now curious. "Edward has a daughter?"

"Yes, but I'll tell you about it this afternoon. I really have to go now." Alice said and hung up in a hurry. I guess the makeover was really important. On the other hand, I'll make her pay for hanging up on me. I could use that this afternoon to get out of the torture earlier.

"Going Green," I repeated. This would take long.

'_Nowadays hip and cool have become the new reasons for being. Companies actually study those that posses the_ 'it' _factor as if they were an experiment to find out what is it that makes them_ 'cool'. _They tend to pick on the queen bees and jocks of high school. Once they've got it, they sell it. Once they sell it, it's no longer cool. They kill their own market, their own products. Just the same we're doing with our planet. A young mind can understand the previous concept better than they can understand why is it necessary to save electricity and water resources. Many have opted for joining _'cool' _and_ 'green'_, but once they make it, it's green, it's boring. It's no longer what it was before. Is there a chance of actually being successful? Would we have to inject_ 'green' _subjects in high school to convince kinds how _'cool'_ it'd be to be able to go to the beach in 50 years?...'_

I kept typing away, trying to make my point. Nothing is what it seems to be. Just because it is 'green' doesn't mean it's not fun. It's all in the human mind. The adrenaline shot of doing what is wrong cannot compare to the flaky feeling of doing something right. It was a proven fact.

"Aren't you done yet?" Angela's question came from behind me.

"Just checking this article's grammar. Would you proofread it for me while I get everything together to leave?" I asked her standing up

"Sure," she sat on y desk and began to read while I tracked down my things that were scattered over my desk.

"It's good. I liked it." Angela said about 5 minutes later. I can't find anything wrong with it, but you know how picky they can be at times. You still have to give it to Tyler, so, I'm sure he'll change a few things." She said saving it again just in case and turning off my monitor.

"I'm ready." I said to her. "We're not meeting Alice for another half hour, but we aren't meeting her here either. Something came up. Is it okay with you?" I asked worried now. I had forgotten to tell her the change in plans with my haste to do my job.

"It's alright, as long as I end up with a cute dress to wear this Sunday." She smiled at me.

"Hoping that someone will take it off?" I teased her.

She blushed! She was hoping that someone will take it off! I laughed and pushed her towards the exit.

"'Bye guys." I called behind me, still laughing at Angela.

"So, where are we going?" she asked when we were in the elevator.

"Alice gave me the address of some mall near where she is at." I told her opening my purse. "This is it." I pulled out and showed her the piece of paper where I had scribbled the address.

"Oh, I know this place. She works near here?" she asked surprised.

"No, she is at her brother's right now. It's near by. Why?" I asked looking at her surprised expression.

"He must have a very god job then. That part tends to be expensive." I knew they were pretty well in the money department when it came to Dr Carlisle. Was Edward in the same situation? Probably, he fit the type. Well, he could fit any type, but that wasn't the point.

Thirty minutes later we were at the entrance of the mall. Alice had called twice but we were at the subway at the time. It was near my apartment and that made me happy. I wouldn't have to go halfway across town after the shopping was over. My phone rung again and I picked up.

"HEY! Finally! Where were you guys, I've been trying your phone for like one hour now. Sorry Alice, we took the subway. Are you here yet?"

"Actually I'm just puling up. Where are you?"

"Oh, we're in the parking lot, right at the entrance. What car are you driving?" I asked looking around for her.

"Yeah.. Umm. That's something I wanted to tell you about. I'm in a yellow Porsche, but there is a black sedan with us. My brother is running late so I decided to bring my niece with us, and her babysitter has orders of not leaving her alone with me." She said and I could see her rolling her eyes at Edward. That was kind of extreme. Not letting your child with your sister. Although this was Alice we were talking about, I was sure the girl would return in one piece, but she may be wearing heels and mini skirts. I laughed heartedly and Angela pulled my arm.

"There they are." She said pointing to a car to the left.

"Nice car, I said to her on the phone while I waved my hands.

"There you are! We'll have so much fun." She screamed in the phone. I actually heard her _outside_ of the receiver. I laughed at her animosity and began walking towards her.

Halfway there I stopped flat on my tracks and Angela looked towards the car with a bemused expression.

Two things happened then. I saw Ben get out of the black sedan and open the rear door for a little girl, and then I heard a horn behind me and ran towards Alice.

"Ben." Was all that Angela said. "I guess buying a cute outfit is out of the question." She smiled lightly.

BEN?! As in Lizzy's 'Nanny'. Wait. That was Lizzy! I hadn't recognized her with the different hair and... Makeup!? What are they doing here?

"Hey Bella," Alice said walking towards me. "Lizzy, c'mon. Ben stop playing like you're her age!" she laughed.

Alice knew Lizzy, and Ben.

"Hey Alice." I said, but my eyes were still glued to the little girl giggling at Ben.

"Hi, I'm Angela," I heard Angela introduce herself. Shoot!

"Oops! Sorry. I was kind of distracted. This is Angela." DURH! I added mentally. "Is- Is that your niece?" I asked Alice without taking my eyes off the smiling Lizzy that now walked towards me.

"Yeah!" she replied with joy. "She's Edward's punishment for all he did to me when I was younger. We're very much alike."

"Hi Bella!" Lizzy and Ben said at the same time and looked at each other. Then they started laughing again.

"He- Hey Lizzy." I stuttered. I was confused. I couldn't take my eyes off them and my mind was running in circles. I met Lizzy, and then I met Ben. Turns out Ben took care of Lizzy when her dad was busy. I recently learned that Edward had a daughter named Elizabeth. Lizzy's name was Elizabeth. Alice called Lizzy by her name all the time at home, but here she said Lizzy. And everyone was still looking at me. Hadn't I just been laughing at the face Edward would make if he ever saw me with a child of his? Wait, that came out wrong. What would have Edward done if he saw me here, meeting his daughter _again_?

"Umm, Bella" a voice said and a hand was waving in front of my face. "You 'kay? Your eyes are bugging out."

"Yeah, s..sorry." I finally took my eyes off Lizzy and they went straight to Alice. "Is Lizzy Edward's daughter?"

She looked at me surprised. "How do you know her name?" she asked.

"Well I met her in the airport in Phoenix and she told me herself, and then I heard you all talking about an Elizabeth at Carlisle's place."

"Yeees… but we never called her **Lizzy**; she only lets family call her that. You'll se what I mean." She said looking back at Ben, Angela and Lizzy who were talking amongst themselves now.

"I'm Elizabeth, nice to meet you, too" Lizzy said talking to Angela. Angela shook her hand and smiled.

"You see?" Alice turned to me.

"She actually told me her name was Lizzy. It came up that it was Elizabeth when her stepfather called her." I explained

"Exactly!" Alice said, "She only lets **us** call her that! Not even Tanya can call her Lizzy."

I didn't know Lizzy had that personality, but I did feel good that she felt comfortable with me. Take that Edward! Wait! Edward! That rung a bell.

We started walking towards the entrance and I turned back to Alice, "You know? Edward won't be happy about this." I said confidently.

"I know, can you explain why that is?" She asked interested now. We went into Jacob and Angela and Ben stayed outside with Lizzy. I smirked thinking that she wasn't in the mood for underwear shopping with him here. It'd give me a bit more space to talk to Alice, and that was good.

"We met under really bad circumstances. He can be very… umm… Territorial? I guess you could call it that." I said looking around for something that interested me.

"Sounds like my brother. But what circumstances?" she asked interested now.

"I met him in the hospital doing the article about the baby that was recently left behind there."

Realization dawned on her face and she nodded. "I can see why that might make him mad, with you being a reporter and all."

"I'm glad you know him this well." I joked trying to brush the topic aside.

There was nothing that called for our attention and we left the store. Alice did insist on buying something for Rose, though.

We met the rest of the group outside sitting on a bench looking like a happy family. Ben and Angela were looking at each other laughing and Lizzy's head was looking from one to another with a grin on her face. I stopped and looked at Alice; she had a strange look on her face. Innocent, but she was planning something. I hoped I never got that look. It breather trouble from every angle you looked at it from.

We made our way towards them and Ben immediately washed the laugh aside when he saw Alice's look. Yep, he knew it too.

"I don't like the way you're looking." He told her sourly, "it reminds me of a certain conniving little girl." He added with a smile playing on his face.

"Me? Nah!" Alice said little bit too innocently. That always gave her away, but she wouldn't give up what she had in mind.

"Ok, so let's go now to the pet store." Lizzy said standing up.

"I guess that's fair" Angela added taking one of her hands. Ben took the other one and began walking towards the small store.

Alice and I tagged behind and she pulled out a notebook.

"What are you doing?" I asked her.

"I saw a few things that I liked, I'll probably send someone down to get them for me or I'll get them myself on my way out." She said writing down a few things. How she managed to write and not trip or bump into people amazed me. I'd be on the floor if it was me. "I'm taking it easy on you today since it's your first time and all." She said with a smirk.

If John were here he'd be adding something along the lines of 'that's what she said'. John, John, John! Why couldn't I get him out of my mind? I wanted to talk to him, to make him make me understand, but I was too chicken to do it. Maybe in some time I will. I also missed Lily; I missed how crazy she was at times, how we knew each other like ourselves. At what point did we stop being sisters and became part of this creepy love triangle? I had to admit I loved John, but it didn't bother me as much as it used to when he cheated. It just hurt that it was her, and that this time I couldn't get back to him. That was all; I just missed the normality, the stability of being with him on good terms. No matter that those ended as fast as they came.

"Bella! Bella!" Lizy's voice brought me back from my thoughts.

"Hey there, Miss Lizzy. Are you enjoying your shopping so far?" I asked leaning down.

"Yea, I want to get a hamster but Ben says that my dad won't want one." She said looking sad, I recognized that look. It was Alice's sad face. Oh, she was good. Alice was looking down at her and was beaming with pride. I was not falling for that one now!.

"I think your dad is right, Lizzy, maybe a pet is not such a good idea right now." I tried convincing her, "if you have one you won't have time left to hang out with him during the summer, he'll be jealous of a hamster." I said laughing at the end, I used to consider hamsters rats. Until recently I didn't bother with using the different names, what can I say, I'm not very big on pets.

"but I really want one! Don't you see how cute they are? C'mon, wouldn't you love to have a little thing that is waiting for you when you et home?" she was selling ME the hamster? Was she crazy?

"sorry Lizzy, he'd be inside all day long, I wouldn't have much time to take him for walks and so on, you can ask Angela how busy the newspaper keeps us." I tried pushing the topic away but it just crawled back.

"What's up with the newspaper?" Angela asked turning to us, she was with Ben very much into their conversation.

"Bella was just telling Lizzy that she won't have time for a pet, with her new job and all." Alice said.

"It's true, Elizabeth, the newspaper is a lot of work. Maybe when she gets settled in and gets the hang of it she'll balance it better."

"Fine! But don't thin I'll forget about it." Lizzy huffed.

"Wouldn't dream of it," I muttered.

Alice snickered and started pushing us away. "Get a move on, there are tons of shops left and we don't have the entire day. And besides wasting time arguing about shopping pets is something I would never do in a mall." We visited other stores and I bought a few things I liked, and finally made it to Fabricland to buy bed sheets. How I loved them. Alice wouldn't let be buy curtains because she wanted to look at the apartment first and then let Esme design the arrangement. I guess there'll be plenty of sleepless mornings to come. For the first time in my life I found myself wishing that it was winter.

"I wonder what time is Edward allowed to come pick us up?" Alice mused while we grabbed something to eat, "this feeling of having no bags hanging off my hands is making me sad. We have to start shopping from now on!" she stood up and I guessed that my time to eat was over.

"Let's go peeps! The shops await." She ordered. I started to complain but she shushed me. "Move it! Move it!"

I saw Lizzy laughing, and smiled a little bit.

"What do you mean allowed to come pick you up?" I asked Alice when we started walking.

"It took him longer because Tanya got stuck in a photo shoot and he has to pick her up. She doesn't want his chauffeur to do it." Alice said rolling her eyes.

"They seem pretty close," I told her as nicely as I could.

"Really? I mean, why would you think so? They barely look at each other?" she asked surprised.

"What are YOU talking about? I saw the display at your parents' house." I said turning to her with a look. She had fallen asleep by that time, but they had those dinner weekly.

"Display? You mean they were all over each other?" she started laughing uncontrollably then. "Are you serious?" she was now clutching her stomach and people were staring.

"Umm, Alice? What are you doing?" I asked a bit scared.

"Bella, you are so gullible!" she could hardly get her words out, "Tanya was all over him because she saw him checking you out. She is a model and yet he never glances at her. You should have seen what Jasper saw going on under the table on that side. I wonder how Esme kept her cool."

"You mean she was…" I trailed off pointedly looking at Lizzy.

"She was trying, very... enthusiastically, may I add; but he wouldn't abide." She whispered in my ear. "They drift even more apart every break that Lizzy comes. They don't get along and there is nothing more precious to Edward than Lizzy. You don't know how much I'll enjoy telling him she lets you call her that. She won't let Tanya do it."

I looked at Lizzy smiling at Ben and Angela again, she was aware that they liked each other. "Lizzy seems pretty smart and easy to get along with; I can't imagine why would Tanya not like her."

"Tanya doesn't like children, period. She feels that they will steal her career if she has one and Lizzy steals much of Edward's free time, and money, which in my opinion is what she wants mostly." Alice said with a grimace, "I don't know what keeps them together, aside from Rose, I mean."

"Rose?" I asked estranged.

"I am dating, now engaged, to Rose's brother. She is married to mine, in her mind it made sense that Edward dated her best friend, and it isn't like Edward keeps his options open. It was more of an elimination process to him. She fit the position and she likes the attention of his social standing."

I had learned a lot about the family in such a short time. I did get entirely the wrong opinion about them, but now I was even more confused about her older brother. What was the deal with him?

"Let's stop the gossip," Alice said in a Rush. "I want to see how all of this looks on you. I hadn't realized that she was grabbing things as we talked. She pushed me into a change room with about 50 ponds of clothes on my hands.

"Aliiiice…" I whined trying to just let it go and go home.

"it's your choice, either you try them on and I decided which ones looks better or I get them all, make you try them at home and you keep them without input on what you want or not." She put one hand on her waist and tapped her foot on the floor. She did have the 'strength' to make me bend to her will. None of her options seemed appealing to me, so I just picked the lesser of two evils.

2 hours later I was carrying 7 bags. SEVEN! And they had several bags in them. Alice was carrying about the same number with an easiness that was inhuman for her short figure.

"So Bella, I guess I took you out on the shopping trip." Lizzy said turning to me with a wicked grin on her face.

"When did you find out that I was the one coming?" I asked surprised

"I told my dad that I made a friend on the plane, and I started telling him about you, yesterday he told me he knew you. By today, when aunt said her friend Bella was coming I knew who it was." She related her side of the story. Small world, big problems.

"Five minutes away? Ok, I'll be with her." Ben said into the phone.

"That's my daddy." Lizzy laughed.

"What?! Already? But we aren't done yet!" Alice protested from my side.

I made a mental victory dance and hid my smile as well as I could manage.

"Don't think this is over Bella. We're waking up early Sunday to get an outfit for your little night out." She scolded. Shit! How did she find out?

"But it isn't until at night, can't we go mid-day?" I pleaded; I hadn't been able to sleep in since I came.

"In what time am I going to get you ready then?" she asked like it was the most obvious thing. I didn't like the way this was playing out.

I sighed and gave up. We were back at the entrance of the mall and the light outside was gone. The sunny beautiful day that had been today was all forgotten. A silver car pulled up in front of us and Edward got out. Tanya rolled down the window and gave me a small smile. Judging by what Alice had told me it was fake. She was a good actress, but I was naturally nice, so it made me as good as her.

"Follow my lead," Alice whispered in a rush in my ear as Edward picked up and hugged Lizzy.

"Say bye to Bella, Lizzy." She called to the girl.

"Bye Bella," Lizzy waved to me and Edward shot me a glare.

"Bye Lizzy," I said as loud as I could muster.

Both Edward's and Tanya's faces turned to me fast and I knew what Alice had done.

He started walking towards him and I could feel myself growing uncomfortable for various things. He was the hottest thing al around; he was glaring at me and seemed to not see anything else and finally Alice said he had checked me out. I knew he could see much better any day, anywhere, so that little comment made me a bit happy.

"What are you doing?' she shot me when he reached us. Venom was clear in his voice. I was right; he didn't want me socializing with his child. Didn't Alice take this into account? She had mentioned the girl was precious to him, and she knew that he hated me.

"Hello to you too, Edward." I said nicely and shot a pointed look at Lizzy's scared expression. He set her down and patted her back. She started to walk towards me and he reached down and turned her in Ben's direction like she was a mechanic toy. That wasn't a good signal. When she was out of hearing range of calm whispers he spoke again:  
"what were you thinking Alice? Didn't I tell you not to take her out shopping?" he gave me a quick look but I understood the implications. Alice wasn't supposed to go out with her if I was coming along.

"Deal with it, Edward," she shot back. "You can't generalize people just like that. You know what I think of bodyguards in general, and you don't see me placing Ben in that category. Lizzy likes Bella a lot, likes her much more than Tanya, obviously. Maybe you should, for once, accept that your first impressions were wrong." I felt uncomfortable in the middle of the fight. "I had made a compromise to go out with Bella today, I wasn't going to change my plans just because your spoiled girlfriend can' stick to a schedule."

"Fine, I won't ask for your help again. I did it because I thought you enjoyed Lizzy's company and she likes yours too." He said glaring at her now.

"you're taking this the wrong way Edward.." she started but he wasn't listening. I tried to say something but he shot me a menacing look. I took a deep breath and tried again.

"Look Edward, I don't know what has made you think so badly of me, but I'd never harm Lizzy. I'm not some kind of Paparazzo looking for he latest gossip. I respect my job, and I respect my friends. I understand that you want to protect your daughter, but Ben knows me, and you can ask him about me if you want." I said calmly. If the situation was different I would stay away from the girl, but I had promised her to be her friend, and I wasn't about to go back on my word just because he had the wrong impression about me.

He didn't seem to have a comeback for that. He had to trust Ben a lot if he was in charge of his daughter, so he was caught in his own net.

"Just talk to Lizzy, to Ben, to anyone from our family. They'll tell you the same about Bella. We have to go now, tell Lizzy I love her and I'll see her tomorrow." She turned towards her car and after a nod to Edward I left. I didn't know what to say, but I didn't want to be rude and be on even worse terms. A nod was all I could come up with. Angela said Ben was giving her a lift and Alice was giving me one.

She sighed as I got on the car and I put my hands on my face.

"I am so sorry Alice, I knew he wouldn't like the idea, but I didn't want him to fight with you. I'll just make myself scarce."

"Don't worry Bella, he'll get over it." She said and then changed her expression. "now, I believe we have a wardrobe to accommodate and a fashion show to start." With that we drove off to my apartment.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

Alice had left my apartment at God knows what time. As I expected, when we arrived there were about 12 boxes of books and other personal belongings piled up on my living room. Alice let out a gasp of air and chuckled.

"It's a good thing I got here before Esme." I found strange they called their parents by their first names most of the time, but didn't say anything.

We started putting those in their respective places but not in any special order; after all, Esme would be coming in two days to reorganize it.

Just the simple act of making a space for everything made me feel better. I could call this place a home.

Alice was trying to sound happy and interested but I could see she was upset about the fight with Edward.

"I'm his baby sister, Bella." She finally sighed, "He was out of line and had no right to speak to me or you like that. We'll deal with it later, for now we have a fashion show to get back to." And with that the topic was over. She didn't object much to my clothes that I bought in Phoenix, but she did put up a fight when I kept my most comfy clothes away from the pile she was going to 'burn'… they were the only things left of what was my life. I loved the smell of home they still had with them. I wasn't ready to give that up yet.

Jasper's call at 10PM made her pout and ask for five more minutes of talking before she left.

I finally let myself fall on my newly dressed bed and began to gain some feeling on my legs. I fell quickly asleep, but was awakened again by the rising sun.

I got ready in a daze, I had rested well on my bed but I found it too big. I had the urge to hold a pillow just to feel another presence next to mine. It was something new. Carrie had mentioned that I would be lonely, but I hoped that friends could fix that.

I got to work not much faster than yesterday. The subway was faster, but it also was at a good walking distance from my neighborhood.

Tyler was a bit short tempered in the morning and as the day progressed it didn't get any better. My article about "Going Green" would have to be revised again for some reason I couldn't understand. That put me down and by the end of lunch I was at the brink of tears. Angela was being positive, but it wasn't helping much.

"Look, you just got here. We all need some time to get adjusted to the dynamics here. You can't start off being a master at this. It takes work." She said finally as we walked back to the office.

"I know, but I'm really counting on this job to pay my rent. I can't just let it go." I almost sobbed. Why was I such a crybaby?

"It'll be okay. Sit with him and make him show you what is wrong with it. Tell him to compare it to other articles. Show him to want to make it work. He won't fire you for something this small." she said rubbing my back. "You're trying to adjust to everything here. New home, friends, job. It's hard."

Adjust? That hit home. Was I adjusting or just getting by trying to prove people I could do it n my own? Was all of this for me or my audience?

"I'll try." I sighed, "But you haven't told me yet what happened with Ben. You guy were joined at the hips yesterday and don't think I missed all the smiles and whispered talking."

She blushed. "It was nothing, really. We were mostly talking about Elizabeth and our jobs. He also told me a bit about Sunday's outing. It'll be to a club, so feel free to wear jeans and something comfortable."

"Alice is dressing me, so, no hope there." I hung my shoulders with a frustrated sigh. "Would you like to come and get ready with us?" I asked hopeful that maybe I'd have someone to endure my torture with.

"I'd love to! I want to see Alice in action." She laughed.

"Believe me, you don't." I said remembering the previous night.

I sat on my desk and prayed that my first article would get a good response. Even if I was restricted to writing about a single topic, it'd be better than nothing. The day passed quickly considering it was a Thursday and the week tends to slow down as it nears Friday. My mom had replied to my e-mail and didn't seem too happy about the lack of information I gave her.

I got home later that afternoon and for the first time since I left John I relaxed with a hot bath and background music. Bless my Zune and Dock. I had an iPod, but my Zune was more convenient some times. I sat back and started to make shopping lists for the dinner on Saturday. I remembered I had to call Alice and asked her how many people were coming. Luckily they came to organize first, because the apartment as it was now wouldn't be nice place to have dinner at.

Thinking about the Cullen's brought back Edward to my mind. I was an understanding person. I had accepted that not everyone would always like me. It was a part of life that came hand in hand with the fact that we were all different inside and out. However, it did bother me. I understood it, but I couldn't help how frustrated I felt that he despised me so without even stopping to get to know me first. He didn't have to like me in any other way, because let's face it: we were very far from compatible. We had nothing in common. But that was no reason for him to hate me so. The water was getting cold and it was time to end my bath. I toweled off and put on one of the outfits I managed to save from Alice's claws. She almost had a seizure when I showed her the combinations I wore at home. It was a familiar piece, soft and wholly. It smelled like home. I hadn't thought of a smell that would identify my new home. I guess the smell of wood was predominant here. All the furniture was still giving off that woodsy scent. The smell of trees but not of damp forest. It was comforting, but still new to me.

I made some tea and surfed the net, trying to prolong my time before I had to curl in a cold empty bed. I missed the warmth of John's body near mine. I missed sex too, but I missed more the company that his person. I missed the smell of his Old Spice aftershave. I had to accept that for the first time in too long I was lonely I wanted someone that loved me and I could love back without the fear of getting hurt. Somebody that I didn't have to watch constantly because of that subconscious nagging that he may hurt me.

I fell asleep thinking about what it would be of me for the rest of my life. If 50 years from now would I still be in the same bed hugging the familiar pillow. I heard say once that we all get a chance at love in our lives. Had I missed my chance? If being with John was my one chance at real love I was disappointed in life. Was that the love so many people found inspiring and full of joy? It could not be. There had to be something more powerful out there.

I got to work the next morning and there was already some Buzzing in the office. Everyone was expecting the weekend with their arms open. Had this week been as long for them as it had been for me? Because I certainly was giving them a run for their money.

"Hey Bella!" Tyler called as soon as he saw me, "wanna go over your article during lunch?" he asked and I groaned inside. Seriously? The one time I could relax from this living hell by talking with Angela he wanted to spend it working? I reminded myself I needed this. I had to improve and nail this thing. My expressions must have given away my thoughts because he chuckled. "I know, I know. But I'm stuck with Sunday's edition and I got no free time."

"What are you stuck on?" I asked remembering what happened last Sunday when I read the paper. _Hello breakdown_.

"Finding a poem to publish," he said with a grimace. "I haven't had time to read all the submissions and it wouldn't be fair if I picked the wrong one."

This was my chance, "How about I go over them? I like poetry a lot." I hoped there was no breakdown this time, but it was an extra task to make up for my disastrous article.

"would you?" that'd be perfect!" he said and headed to his office. He came back when I was putting things aside on my desk making space for the new job. He dropped what looked like a sack of envelopes. Oh god, what did I get myself into?

"This is it. Don't worry, it's not that hard. Pick five or six of the best ones and we'll decide as a group later. I thanked him and turned back to my job.

About 15 letters later I found one that caught my attention. It wasn't one of a child. This person was clearly an adult. I started reading it and fell all over again over the edge:

**Out of time**

It would have been beautiful if they had whispered it:  
The leaves on the sidewalk  
The wind behind the trees  
The sunset.

But, to tell you the truth,  
They didn't say it,  
The tens of ballads  
In the radio, or TV, did.

They didn't speak either  
Of the love letter of the year,  
Of your chestnut hair  
That is a tarot.

There was no clue  
Of a witchcraft  
Pushing my patience  
Or stopping my vows.

I found out through other body  
That your love was my oxygen;  
That I missed every inch of you  
And everything I gave away  
Served only to find you.

I found through other body of your love,  
And my selfishness.  
It burned to imagine or even think  
About you doing the same.  
Because every move was a mistake  
And stopped my blood.  
For fear, respect, love, or all three of them  
I know I'll never tell you that I searched for your taste on other lips.

And now they scream it with a harsh voice:  
The leaves on the sidewalk,  
The wind behind the trees,  
The sunset.

They aim like they were arrows  
And I was the dartboard.  
Tons of bullets  
Through the radio and TV

They say it with malice:  
The letter of the year,  
Your chestnut hair,  
Any tarot.

And they all conspire  
So that your life  
Goes against mine  
In every step I take.

I was speechless to say the least. This person had great talent. If that was the case why didn't they aim for a publisher rather than a newspaper? I knew instantly that I'd give my all for this one poem to be published this Sunday. I kept going, though. I still had five more to find, but I had made up my mind. I went back to the poem and looked for the name. So much emotion was in it that it felt private to only look at the name of he author. There was only a pseudonym. No name. This letter had arrived yesterday and it had been sent from a box mail. There was a number to it and the name they picked seemed to be a joke. It went something like D3BU55I. This would not make my job any easier. I don't think they'd be too happy about publishing it with numbers, but then again there was no rule against it. They had provided the age and sex, which was a plus. 29, Male. Who would've thought?

About 4 hours later I had all 6 selected. My favourite one resting right on top.

I was about to go and find Tyler to go over my article when I got a call from him telling me we'd have to reschedule to 4PM. Fine by me! I now had a free lunch and darted to Angela's desk.

"Ready to go?" I asked her smiling.

"Yeah. Wait! Don't you have to talk to Tyler?" she asked surprised.

"Nope! He rescheduled" I beamed.

"Lucky! You seem on a better mood." She mused as she grabbed her purse.

"I was put on a task that I really like. I picked the poems for this weekend edition."

"Nice! Tyler got you back for the article thing, I see. He doesn't like doing it." She explained.

"Well, it backfired I think. Because I do really enjoy it. It took me no time at all."

"You should ask him to let you do it." And I thought I'd do just that.

We ate and got back to the office. I kept working on my second draft of the article, fixing what I thought was they didn't like about it. At three we had a small meeting and I showed the 6 poems I had selected. I left my favourite one for last because I knew this would be best. They all seemed pretty generic. Love, broken hearts, but none of them like D3BU55I's. I read it out loud and there was a silence. A few of the girls from gossip didn't like it. "Too many big words" was their smart comeback. Of course. Most of us liked it, and Angela was really quiet throughout it, which meant she was thinking and that it had caught her attention, too.

"this guy won't even give his name. He is a 30 year old for God's sakes. He should be working and raising a family, not writing poems anonymously."

"it wasn't anonymous," I countered offended, "he has a pseudonym, and a very creative one."

"I think it's good," Angela tried helping me, "it'll show men that they can express their opinion and not necessarily get flamed for what they say. What I mean is, they can decide not to reveal their identity. And if they have talent there is no better way than to show the world."

The discussion kept going until quarter to four.

Tyler hadn't said a word and that wasn't good news. But it meant he hadn't made his choice and that gave me hope.

"Ty, babe? What do you think?" one of the Barbie's asked him. Babe!? What the hell was that? This was an office, for crying out loud.

"I'm not sure. I like the poem, but I don't know how the public will take it. I don't want to risk it." He said with a crease on his forehead.

"It'll be fine! It's a great piece; it'd be unfair not to publish talent just because we don't know how the public might take it." I tried, "this section is the reason why the people that write us buy the paper, and we should keep our part of the deal."

"Bella has a point there, Tyler." Angela pushed.

Please, please, please, please, please… I was about to ask Alice to come and lend me a pout to give to Tyler.

"Fine, but if this goes wrong you are banned from voting on the poem selection." He menaced. Damn it! Now it was my turn to think about it. Would it be worth it? I better get all I could have.

"Fine, but if this is a good idea I want to be the one selecting the poems every week." I tried my business expression.

"Ok!" he agreed instantly. That was easy, I thought. I just have to wish it goes okay or I'd be twice in trouble.

"Let's break it, people. You all have one hour here and I haven't gotten many of your e-mail. So, get working." Tyler said and left.

I looked at the time and it was almost 4PM. I followed him to talk about my article.

"Hey Tyler, do you want o go over it now?" I asked with my fingers crossed. He looked at his desk full of papers and his monitor. He shrugged his shoulders. "Sure."

I sat down and he brought a copy of it with some highlighting done. Well, a lot of highlighting done. "So, thing is… there is a lot of your opinion in it. We want your opinion but we also wanted more persuasion from your side on Going Green. I know it can be hard if you aren't actually big on the entire idea, but you have o try a bit harder." He said leaning against his desk. "I'm not going to wear leaves and live without electricity just because, but I understand how important it is."

"I know it is important, it's just that it takes a lot of work and I didn't want to lie and say that I actually did abide by the entire Going Green concept when I found no time to do it." I explained.

"I know how you feel. I don't want you to lie either, but try and make it sound a bit more appealing than that. And besides not many teenagers read this section so you don't have to worry about making it sound cool." He added.

"Ok, I'll rewrite it, but not for publishing, just so you can tell me how I did."

"Don't worry about it. For now I'm just trying you at different things to find your strengths, because I have to see for myself even if they were related on your resume. So, if you don't find yourself too comfortable with something, it's just normal."

"Ok, I'll keep that in mind." I said and stood up. "That's it." He sighed turning back to his desk.

"Lot's of 'grading' to do, eh?" I commented.

"Yeah, ad they don't help much by handing things late. I better get started."

"Ok, thanks again, Tyler." And with that I left.

I got home and dropped my bag. Grabbed the fabric grocery bags we were given at work with the entire Going Green assignment, I headed towards the grocery store. I took my cellphone with me and dialled Alice's number.

"Hey Bella!" she picked up. I heard Lizzy's voice in the background and my heart tugged.

"Hey Alice. What's up?"

"Nothing much, just hanging out with Lizzy. How was work?"  
"It was alright. Just the same as usual. We are Going Green now." I said and couldn't stop myself from making air quotes. I ducked my head and laughed as people started at me.

"Ew! That means no Internet, or shopping or fun." She said. Yep, she was a planet-killer…

"Yeah, that's what it means." I said rolling my eyes. "I just wanted to know who was coming tomorrow and what should I get. I know Emmett wants meat, all he can get, but I didn't know who else was coming."

"I don't think my dad is coming. Mom is, of course. And if Emmett is coming we need Rosalie to keep him in check. Then Jasper and me. That's it." She said

"What about me?" I heard Lizzy say in the background and my stomach dropped. Would Edward let his daughter come if his family was here? Even Esme was coming, so we could try.

"What was that?" I asked Alice.

"Umm, Lizzy. She wants to know if she is invited." She didn't sound sure. I wondered why that was.

"Of course she is invited; I just don't know if Edward will play the bad guy this time. Do you know if he'll agree?"

"I'm not sure Bella. I know he has a thing to go to tomorrow night with Tanya, and it's Ben's last night before his vacation so he'll be with Lizzy." She sighed "hold on, he is calling on the other phone." I felt her put her cell down and go get the phone.

She came back two minutes later, "this is going to take some time. Do you mind if I call you back?"

"Sure Alice, no problem. Go work you puppy eyes look." And I hung up.

I got to the grocery store and started putting things I knew I'd need for sure tomorrow. I was thinking of making cold salads and several main dishes for everyone to pick. I had no problem picking meats because I knew Emmett would like them all. As I picked olives and pickles, my cell phone rung.

"Hey, I think it's our lucky day." She said happily.

"Why is that?" I asked surprised. Had Edward allowed Lizzy to come?

"It turns out Miss-New-Nose is being escorted by her partner from the photo shoot for some reason, so Edward is free tomorrow night." She explained.

"I don't see how that is any good news for me, Alice." I told her. "If he is free then he won't let Lizzy come."

"No, wait. Lizzy asked him to let her spend time with you tomorrow so he accepted if he was there with her." She said happier now.

"Still not helping…"

She sighed exasperated. "He is invited on the condition that he gets working on moving things around with Emmett. That means less work for us." She explained.

"Oh, I don't know if the put-downs he is going to give me are worth it, though." I told her honestly.

"Don't worry, he'll behave. Esme's got your back."

He was never rude to me in his parents' house, so that made me feel better. That also meant he had a split personality or was as fake as his girlfriend.

"Don't worry; when he is alone with Lizzy he is much better. I think he reacted badly the other day because Tanya was looking."

"Not helping Alice." I told her sternly.

"OK, fine! I don't know how to explain it. He is not fake, it's just that he is a better person when hey are not together. He is a bit more bearable." She said exasperated and I smiled at the way she was sticking up for her brother. "I guess I'm just asking you to give him a chance. Maybe he'll get to know you and stop being an ass."

"I don't think the problem is Tanya, Alice. When I first met him she was nowhere in sight and he was the same pompous ass."

"I know, but he thought you were there just for the same reason other reporters were. Just wait and see. I promise to kick him myself if he misbehaves."

"Okay, but I'm blaming you if something goes wrong." I sighed giving up. I was going to have to put up with him if I wanted to keep my promise to Lizzy.

"Thank you, Bella." She said happy, "you know, you guys have a lot in common." She mused after a pause.

"You are the second one to say it," I told her honestly, "I just don't see it."

"Really? Who told you that before? Usually I'm the one predicting people's responses.

"Ben told me on the plane that I had a lot in common with his boss, now that I've met his boss I don't see it. Edward and I are complete opposites."

"I guess I'll have to speak to Ben about him doing my job." She said mocking being offended. "So, you met him on the plane, right?" she said, "Did he tell you then about my brother's obsession with protecting Lizzy or you found out about that later?"

"No, he didn't even tell me he was watching her, it sort of came up out of nowhere. We didn't speak much of his boss." Then I remembered he has said something else, "He did say that maybe if his boss found someone they'll both be happier. I guess he forgot about Tanya there for a second."

"I doubt it." Alice laughed, "I think he was thinking if Edward found someone else _instead_ of Tanya."

"Ben would never do that," i countered.

"oh, yes he would. And if Tanya treated me the way she treats Edward's employees i would too. Hell, just seeing her acting like she does makes me want to get him away from her. I guess she is a very good lay if he is still putting up with her."

"wow, Alice. your brother?" I was shocked, "I mean, he is not the best of men out there, but weren't you asking me to give him a chance?"

"I said _him _not her. she can rot in hell for all I care." she huffed.

"Remind me not to get on your bad side," I muttered heading to the cashier.

"You better don't." she quipped.

"I'm done here. What time are you guys plannign on coming?" i needed to know what my timeframe was.

"I think we should be there by 10AM. Probably Edward will want to sleep in." I could see her rolling her eyes and I laughed.

"OK. i should get started on the food now, then. I'm not sure how much can Emmett store and I don't want to stay short."

"You'll need time for that. See you tomorrow Bells." and with that we hung up.

I got home and started working on tomorrows dinner. I pulled out the cooking books that had been given to my mother and she never used and started flipping through them.

I made some tea to keep me awake and brought them back to my room after i took a shower. Great, i guess my company would be books too; not only pillows.

* * *

**A/N:** so, one day of Edward heavy lifting and no Tanya. somebody get me a cool drink please! i wanted to remind you tha this story is rated M. mature, nto only because i want people to think as they read, but because there would be sex in it. i'm not going to write a lemon each chapter, i don't even know if i'll ever write one, since this is my first fanfiction attempt. but if you're not comfortable reading it, make sure to tell me and I'll post some kind of warning before the more explicit content.  
for now, i'm going to go back and start writing and you all should go post repplies.

peace out, 'cause war is almost ovah! -- that was NOT cool. won't happen again...

A/N2: the poem is not actually a poem. it's a translation of one of my vavorite songs. the title is '**_Mi Aire'_** by **_Buena Fe_** (ENG: My air by Good Faith.) and they are my favourite cuban group. yes, i am Cuban, if you must know....

A/N3: I AM LOOKING FOR A BETA. if you think you can help me out i'd like to see an example of something you've written. if you know somebody who may like the story or has any talents please give me a shout out. AND i know my Summary sucks, i changed it, but i still can't make it any better. please help.... :( For now pile up your questions, if you have any, and ask.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:  
I was swimming, for no apparent reason, in crystal clear waters. Silver streaked fish swathed me in a shiny live tornado. Some went faster, some slower. Some went out o the pattern in general, but they all went up, and up, and up. It seemed to never end, like they ever reached the surface. Going around and around me, protecting and amusing. I turned around with them, my eyes following their every move, their eternal dance.

Speaking of which, didn't I need to breathe? Wouldn't my oxygen run out? Apparently it wouldn't, so I paid no attention to the trivial fact. The sensation was pure bliss, I was alone but it didn't fell like I had been feeling before; it felt solely right.

"Bella! Bella!" a high pitched voice called to me. I turned around looking for the origin of the voice but I saw nothing. Nothing. Not even the sand, or chorals or anything else other than the live curtain of silver fish.

"Bella, pick up!" the voice screeched. 'Pick up what?' I thought to it, afraid of what may happen if ii opened my mouth to speak. "Bella, pick up NOW!" the voice demanded and I kept turning and turning looking for something that I could 'pick up'. Underneath me the darkness of the hundreds of feet of water gave away nothing. I felt fear for a second, but glanced away trying to forget the closeness of the unknown darkness. I looked around me, past the gyrating fish tornado and light blue turned darker and darker until I could see no more. Was I in space? There should be something else other than water in the sea. I hadn't been much to the tropics, but this wasn't what it looked like. This was too empty.

I looked up and the sudden light pouring through the water made my eyes hurt a bit. I blinked furiously forcing my eyes to grow accustomed to the light. When I opened them again the fish were fading away. I had seen the light, now the stars seemed dimmer than before. The light blue was less inviting and the darkness below really terrorized me. 'Wait! Don't go yet' I wanted to scream, but I could only think. 'Just hold on! Why did I have to look up?' I complained to myself. It was all so nice before. Would I get no second chance?

"Bella, I _know_ you're there. Stop hiding and pick up now." Well, that wasn't helping. I know I'm _here_, I just don't know where _here_ is. I thought furrowing my eyebrows and turning in faster circles in the water. Wouldn't I get dizzy? Well, I didn't need to breathe apparently, so my reflexes better have improved as well. Something was pushing me upwards. Closer and closer to the light above. They always say to stay away from the light at the end of the tunnel, but they never speak of the light above the surface. Should I stay away too? But it was so pretty. It was calling to me. I looked down trying to ask whoever was pushing me what my choice should be. I needed help deciding. I saw nothing. I expected at least a black haired boy looking very much like the one in Grudge, but there was nothing. And yet I kept going upwards, up and up and up. Was it like Alice in Wonderland? She was going downwards, right? I glanced up and closed my eyes as I was about to break free of the waters. I prepared myself for more of hat blinding light, but only more noise came.

"Bella pick up! Wake up, look at the time. We're alm-…" _Beep!_ And the sound cut off.

"Alice," I sighed opening my eyes. I was back in my room. Nothing left of my dream. I got up and went to my living room. '3 new messages' my machine read. Little Pixie didn't know of the meaning of Saturdays?

A person that doesn't respect the sanctity of sleeping in shouldn't be allowed to coexist with humanity. Then again, I wondered who had the nerve to say no to Alice.

I called her back, not delaying my torture.

"Morning Bella!" she greeted in her hyper self. Like she hadn't just disturbed the first peaceful dream I had since I got here. "Sleep well?" she asked.

"I was…" scolded, "until a shrilly voice brought me back from my tropical paradise."

"I'm sorry," she said, but it sounded like 'you're welcome'. "But we're going to finish getting ready soon. We'll be there in two hours and I didn't want you to see… umm… _us_ like you just woke up."

"Why?" I laughed, "PTSD?" (A/N: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder…)

"No silly, you need time to get ready."

"That doesn't take that long, Alice."

"Well… it should…"

"You stole one hour from my sleep." I complained. I was whining a lot, and I knew it, but damn it I liked my dream.

"Go get ready, Sleepy Head."

"Fine, should I fix breakfast for everyone?"

"Good question, fix as much as if we were all eating. That should make Emmett shut his whining."

I laughed, "OK. I better get moving then."

"Don't worry too much I'm sure Esme is bringing bagels or something." She said, "So, go get ready."

"Yes, ma'am." I saluted said my goodbyes.

I sighed when I hung up and dragged my feet to the washroom.

One hour and a half later I had everything ready to be moved around and the other furniture covered by plastic sheets. I was sure that wasn't what Alice meant when she said 'get ready' but I wasn't going to a cocktail party. I'd be working, so jeans and a black T would have to do.

I hadn't seen what a Saturday edition looked like so I took the chance to pay a visit to Wilma and ask her if I could borrow the newspaper. My subscription should start getting here next week if everything went right.

As I was waiting for the elevator to open and bring me back to my apartment I got distracted looking at the pages in front of me. The doors opened with a ding and I didn't look up until I collided with a body.

"Oops! Sorry…" I started to say as I looked up. And there he was… my own personal stalker. Would it be too late to try and hide? Certainly it would. I walked in the elevator and he smiled at me.

"Hey" he said grinning, "Giselle, isn't it?" he asked pressing the CLOSE button.

Wasn't he going to get out? What the hell? Why would he just come to the first floor and then just head back up again? And how did he get to Giselle from Isabella?

"Umm... Bella, actually." I said controlling my gag reflects.

"Oh, right…" he said with an impish grin. Well, he should be ashamed of his poor flirting tactics and his flawed attempts at being smooth. I knew smooth first handed, I lived with John and he had mastered flirting so this just made me laugh.

Three stories had never seemed longer as I stood in the elevator.

"I haven't seen you lately. Have you been hanging out around the city?" he asked. Prying much?

"Yes, work is criminal." I sighed looking at the numbers that wouldn't change.

"So, nothing social, like a boyfriend or something." He stated. Wow, he went straight for the kill. I couldn't have seen that one coming, and it didn't surprise me in the positive way. On the contrary it made me shrink back away from him.

"Umm… no." I said quietly. I rummaged through my brain for a 'but', but the more I searched the less convincing my lies sounded. _BUT_ he beat me to it.

"Would you like to go out for a reason other than work?" he asked in a rush, and I had a vision flashing through my mind of what our date would look like.

The doors opened and I walked out trying to find an escape. No such luck: he was right behind me and I could feel his eyes on my butt. Pervert! I shifted uncomfortable once I reached my door. I turned to face her now that I had my answer and it was obvious that he wasn't going to take my silence as a clue.

"Actually I can't for now. Getting used to the way the office works is taking up a lot of my time." I said waving the newspaper in front of me. "Even on Saturdays I'm still doing work." I laughed nervously backing towards my door.

"But that won't last forever," he smiled, "we can go out and celebrate your coming to the building."

"Wow! That's very nice of you... umm…" I hoped my inability to form a coherent sentence wasn't blamed on his charm. "Maybe some other time," I let out a sigh. I needed to work on my excuses. Usually I had many so I didn't have to lie. But here I had nothing.

"I should get going now." I said and expected him to say the same, since he WAS leaving before we met.

"I'll see you around," he called not moving from my door. So I had no option but to close it on his face.

I set the newspaper on the table and went to get some juice. My apartment smelled strange, it smelled of food and coffee. I didn't like coffee. I hated it. The smell of it, how it go stuck to people's clothes, everything. It was a bad thing because I had nothing but a cold shower that should wake me up effectively in the morning; but on the other hand I was addicted to nothing and I rarely felt cranky because I missed my energy boost from the day.

However, I had guests over this morning. I had to make coffee.

I had just set down on a chair when the buzzer went off. "We're here!" I mimicked Alice's chipper voice as I stood up and went to answer it.

"Hello?" I called on the speaker.

"Hi Bella!" Alice's voice almost sang, "It's us! Open up!"

"Ok, it's apt 306. I'll wait for you in the hallway."

I finished my glass and put it in the sink. I peeked through the hole on the door, making sure Mike wasn't still there gaping like a goldfish.

I called to Alice as they stepped out of the elevator. That was fast, why couldn't my ride this morning have been the same? Because I was being stalked, that's why.

"Hi Bella!" Lizzy came from behind them all pushing through. I laughed a bit and leaned down to kiss her cheek.

"Hi Miss Lizzy," I said and looked up to greet the rest of them.

"Morning Bella." A velvety voice said and I was startled. It wasn't a mean tone, more like he had been lectured on being nice today, which was probably the case.

"Morning everybody!" I said with a winning smile. I wasn't about to just treat him as my new BFF when he was sharpening his claws to rip my throat out two days ago.

"Are you sure she isn't my long lost sister? Look at her, mom, she is as unaffected by morning as Alice." Emmett whispered not too secretively. We all laughed and Rose elbowed him playfully.

"This is Bella's house, Em," Esme said, "I can't stop her from throwing you out the window."  
"I'm the labour force. You'd be two men down." He laughed.

"I'd still be here," Edward complained.

"Big help you are. When was the last time we went to work out? Manicures with your girls don't count bro." Emmet laughed and Edward looked like he was about to start pulling his hair out like a 5 year old.

"Boys, enough!" Esme said slapping the back of their heads and coming to hug me.

"I hope you have something we can discipline them with."

"Don't worry Esme; if Emmett doesn't behave he'll be cut short on breakfast." I said with a straight face and looked at Emmett from the corner of my eye. He was looking down now and not daring to protest.

"What about Edward?" Alice asked, "He is no saint."

I was sure he wasn't but I think what I could come up with to torture him wouldn't be appreciated on Esme's eyes. The way she said he was no saint ignited a bit of excitement in me. I controlled myself quickly enough reminded of the ass he was despite his sex god appeal.

"I'll leave that to Esme," I said looking straight at him, "he seems to behave better with her than with anybody else." I turned around and waved them into the apartment.

"This is a nice place, Bella." Esme commented as she looked around. "It's cozy but sophisticated. I like it."

The place looked even smaller now that it was jammed with 6 more people.

"Where is Jasper?" I asked looking around. I knew that Carlisle wasn't coming but Alice and Jasper seemed to be the kind of couple that wouldn't leave the honeymoon stage.

"He was called in to work today. Apparently they had some problems at the museum and they couldn't do without him there." Alice said rolling her eyes.

"Bella?!" Rose called from the kitchen. I turned around and saw her holding Emmett back while he just stared at the served table.  
"Is this breakfast or an all day buffet?" she asked laughing.

"He can have it, Rose." I snickered, "I'll make lunch later on."

"You are becoming my favourite sibling." Emmet boomed from the kitchen.

"Are you going to be my aunt too?" Lizzy said coming from the bedroom pulling Edward with her. She had taken upon herself to take the great tour of the place.

"Umm... I thought I was your friend, but if you want me I'll be your aunt too." I said looking around. I wasn't sure how they'd all take it.

"Good!" she simply smiled and went past me towards the living room.

"Edward, stop letting Lizzy come and go like that, she is a guest here." Esme told him but he chose not to listen. I laughed and touched her arm letting her know it was okay.

"Let's sit and talk for a bit while Emmett charges his batteries." I said and walked towards the dining room. I could see Edward had Lizzy in his arms and they were now in the balcony. She pointed to one side and he then said something in her ear that made her laugh. She pointed to the opposite side and he smiled and nodded.

"He won't stop cramming things in her little brain every chance he gets." Esme said with a sigh following my gaze.

"He is a good father," I noted calmly.

"Yes, but sometimes he should let her go her own way. He misses her a lot throughout the year. When summer comes he won't step aside from her."

"I know how he feels." I said and looked back at the table where everyone was looking at me with a questioning look.

"Oh, no! I don't have any kids." I explained smiling, "I just wish…"  
they all nodded and Rosalie beamed. "I know how it is too. I'm next in line." She said with a wink.

"I really hope so." Esme said and gave her a half hug.

"Ok, ok! So much love." Alice exclaimed "let's get down to business. Was my description of the place good enough, Esme?" she asked. So far she was the one that least called her 'mom'.

"Yes, Alice. As usual." Esme smiled. "Hand me the blue sheet over there, Emmet, dear."  
She asked Emmett, who was now sitting back on the chair and patting his full stomach.

"Why can't you say blueprint? I'm not that clueless, mom." He scoffed handing her the roll.

"I know, sweetie. But this one isn't big enough to be called blueprint." She smiled warmly at him, "And you better never scoff at me again or you'll lose your front teeth again." She added in a sweet tone that left us all dumbstruck. Wow, who knew sweet Esme had it in her. I guess that was how she dealt with Emmett as a kid.

"I love you mom," he said with awe in his eyes and I had to start laughing.

"I'm s-…" I couldn't even stop apologizing. They all looked like it was the most normal thing.

"So… getting back on track." Esme said smiling, "this is a representation of what your apartment will look like."

I looked at the lines drawn in the deep blue paper. It had the same of my apartment, but I couldn't figure out much of it.

"I think we may need to paint a few walls." Esme went on, "the colour has faded and I think a nice ivory will compliment the wood better."

"I should write this down," I said standing up.

"Oh, no worries. I have the paint downstairs in the car. It's just a matter of bringing it up." She said and batted her eyelashes at Emmett.

"Yes, mom, I got the hint." He said shaking his head. "You should pick on Edward too, you know?"

"Oh, I will. I'm just letting him enjoy is first morning with his daughter."

"Can't wait for my own." Emmet mumbled. "At least I'll have an excuse to just play around."

"Oh, honey" Rose smiled at him, "the last thing you'll be doing is sitting playing with the baby."

"Seriously, marriage is the last legal form of slavery." He whined and I had to start laughing again. "Just wait for your turn Bella. Save some of that bossiness for your 'one'. You wouldn't want the poor guy to feel left out, now would you?"

"So, Bella is there anything that you'd like to have in your apartment. Something you can't live without?" Esme asked, "I have set up a plan of the living room and there are a few things that I couldn't place in."

"Like a TV." Alice chirped quickly, "now that that is out there for you to know we can move on." She added quickly and I just looked at them.

"Am I missing something?" I asked looking from one side to the other.

"Well, dear," Esme started, "I didn't see you as a TV kind of girl, so I didn't put one in my plan of the living room. You can put it in your office if you'd like."

At that moment Edward and Lizzy came into the kitchen laughing and with glowing faces.

"Are you done yet, Uncle Emmett?" Lizzy asked.

"I'm done eating… for now…" he answered sheepishly. "Now granny will make me their labour force."

"Wait!" I asked still processing the info I had been given. "Why can't I have a TV in my living room? As far as I know that's where all houses have theirs."  
"Actually, people are starting to not put one there. It's more adult that way. You don't watch that much TV anyways,"  
"yea, but I need to know the weather in the morning, and sometimes I'll want to just sit back and relax." This apartment was tiny; it wasn't like their house that they probably had a movie theatre in one of their 8 bedrooms.

"You can look at the weather in the internet, Bella." Alice tried convincing me, "the design can't hold a TV. It just doesn't work. As we said you can have it in your office."

"But I'll want to sit back and relax on my couch." I whined. Damn it all, I wanted to make this place a home, and my home had to have a TV; even if I was going to watch it once a decade.

"Is granny not letting you watch TV, either?" Lizzy asked with a surprised expression.

"Apparently…" I said laughing now at the irony of it all. I worked in the media. Newspaper had lost to TV in the battle of information, but it was still a big part of the mass media. They couldn't just erase it from my life like it was nothing.

"Oh, Bella. You're overreacting!" Alice said. "It's just a TV, for crying out loud. And you don't even have one yet."

"That's true, Bella." Esme said patting my hand, "if you've lived without one for one week you can do it for much longer."

"Well I've been without curtains as well but I have no intentions of going much longer without them."

"Yeah, about that: I know the perfect ones for the design." Esme said happily, yet I sensed a 'but' coming up, "but…" and there it is, "right now they are out of stock. We'll have to wait a few weeks until they get them; and I have first claim on them."

"What?! More sleepless mornings?" I was had no words. No TV, no morning sleep, they were seriously pushing my patience.

"You'll do fine! You have to wake up early to go to work and I'm sure during the weekends we'll be busy from early morning." Alice said looking all happy about it.

"What do you mean?" I asked her surprised.

"We'll we do have a lot of shopping to make up for with all this time that we haven't been friends." She said like it was the most normal thing and Rose busted out laughing at my shocked expression.

I looked at their faces and they found nothing strange with it. I looked at the only face I hadn't looked directly at for the entire morning. I raised an eyebrow at Edward and he just shrugged his shoulders. "Don't ask me," he said, "I went through the same when… when I moved out." He finished but there was something he was going to say and that wasn't it.

"I think I need to make a phone call." I said still looking from one face to the other.

"That's okay dear," Esme said patting my hand, "Emmett let's go, I have to show you what to bring up here from the van."  
I took the phone and went to the living room. Lizzy was right behind me and I told her to sit by me.

"Who are you calling?" she asked when she saw the phone in my hands.

"I'm calling the only person that I consider sane right now." I told her honestly.

"Sane?" she asked confused.

"Not crazy," I explained dialling.

"We're not crazy." She said looking offended. "Granny won't let me watch TV either. And the same happens to my friends."  
"Yes, but granny won't let you watch TV all the time," I explained, "With me, she won't even let me _have_ a TV." I was now laughing at myself. I was telling an 8 year old about my ground rules. Carrie would love this, and that's why I had to call her.

"Hey Bella," she greeted me. I could hear she had me on speaker phone.

"Hey, is there someone with you?" I asked her making sure I wasn't about to let the world know I was being grounded.

"No, I just have my hands busy." She said from a bit farther away.

"Painting still?" this time her inspiration had lasted longer than I anticipated. Then I remembered her inspiration was me, luckily I would last longer than a week.

"Yeah, I have deadlines to meet." She sighed, "Isn't it tedious the work of an artist?" she asked dramatically.

"It is when the artist is a workaholic."

"I'm not going into that with you." She said sharply. "How are things going?"

"Well, that's why I was calling you," I sighed. "I have a personal shopper, an interior designer, the evolution of a bear and…a personal stalker," I was going to say hater but decided not to bring Edward into this conversation, "that that won't let me have a TV in the living room, Or at all, preferable." I added the last part as an afterthought.

"How are we going to invite guys over with the excuse of watching movies then?" she asked insulted, "you can't just go like _'oops, I forgot I didn't have a TV. Can we skip that part and make out?'_" she added.

"Thank you," I said smiling, "would you mind talking to them?"

"Actually they may ruin my chi. How about I let you on your own? Bye!" she said quickly and hung up. That was it? I was alone in this world.

"I had a feeling today would be a good day," Alice said smiling from the kitchen.

"Good day?" I sighed, "Fine. Do whatever you'd like." I said standing up from the couch and turning to Lizzy.

"Lizzy, is there something you'd like to do?" I knew today would be a bit boring for her, but she asked to come.

At the sound of his daughter's name Edward turned his glare back on and I just smirked at him. Take that, Edward.

"Can I use your computer?" she asked me with a pout that oozed 'Alice' from every angle you looked at it from.

"Umm... Let's ask your dad, ok?" I turned to Edward, "Could she?"

"As long as you don't have anything in it that may… umm… harm her, I don't mind." He said. what did he think I was going to do? Show her porn? What is wrong with this man? Does he even trust the mother of the girl? I had my answer for that question: he probably didn't. That's why Ben was on that plane.

"It's just a computer, Edward. I'm not giving her an axe." I said walking with Lizzy to my office.

"One never knows." He mumbled and I stopped myself before I flipped him off.

I sat Lizzy and showed her how it worked and where she wanted to go, when I closed the door I went back to where Edward was.

"What is your problem?!" I asked in a whisper. I knew my face was flushed with rage and I was tightly holding my closed fists at my sides.

"I don't feel comfortable having my daughter exposed to the media." He shot back and his jaw flexed. He was leaning down and towering over me. His shirt was slightly open in the front and his cologne was rolling off of him in waves that clouded my mind. I recuperated from the closeness and his scent.

"You better than anybody else should know where to draw the line between parent and boss." I almost yelled at him and stood up higher. I wasn't backing down. "What makes you think that I can't be a friend to her, despite my job?"

"Because your people don't know when to back off when they have a good story in their hands!" he was yelling now, and I was glad the door to the office was closed.

I pulled him to the balcony but then changed my mind, I'd be charged responsible if I threw him out. I stopped on my tracks and moved back to the hallway.

"Look, you don't know a thing about me or my life." I took a breath and tried calming down. "I would never harm Lizzy or bring unwanted attention to her. I am her friend. She was the first friend I met when I moved here and she is child, for god's sakes! Do you think me such a monster capable of hurting her?"

"I don't know you. Exactly. That's why I don't trust you either." He spit back and a shrunk back even more.

"Edward, she is your daughter and I understand tat you want what's best for her." I tried reasoning with him. It did make me mad his hatred against me before he even met me, but the fact that he was caring for his daughter made me bear his rudeness. "However from all of us here, you are the only one that still hasn't accepted I'm decided to put up with anything if it means keeping my promise to Lizzy. I will not put up with your rude comments always, just as long as I can justify it, but you're pushing my limits by offending me in my own house."

"Like you said, I'd put up with anything to make my daughter happy." He said with a smirk.

"It doesn't look like you're trying to put up now." I told him back with a smirk.

"Is everything ok?" Esme's voice came from behind him and made us jump apart.

"Yes, just having a heart to heart." I replied quickly and went back to Lizzy.

"So, we're not touching your office today, just the living room and the kitchen. It's a good thing you covered most damageable surfaces."  
"Explain to me again what you are doing." I pleaded trying to mask my horror. This was supposed to be my happy place.

"Well we want to repaint the living room and kitchen because the colour will not compliment your new furniture. I'm adding a few pieces to the decoration and furniture." Esme explained briefly.

"So, from what I have, is anything staying?" I asked surprised.

"Of course, dear! But I'm making space for you to put family pictures and sorts. If Alice was right, then you are very close to your people." Esme said smiling warmly.

For the rest of the morning we moved things around and put papers on the floors. That was Lizzy's job: to make sure they were all covered. I can't believe had just been writing an article about going green and here I am about to use more paper than I'll probably use for the rest of the month.

"Hello, hello!" Jasper's voice came from the doorway.

"Hey, who let you in?" I asked wiping my hands.

"I did, didn't you notice me gone?" Alice asked.

"Huh, I knew it was quiet for a reason…" Edward snickered and I had to cover my mouth and look away to stop my laugh.

"Hey! I'm right here!" Alice protested.

"I know!" he laughed harder.

"Alice and Edward! Stop bickering like kids!" Esme shot from the kitchen.

"Just so you know this isn't over." Alice whispered.

"Good, I didn't think it'd be this easy." Edward whispered back.

"I thought I said stop it! Get to work." Esme said with a hand on her hip and I had no end for my laughs.

"Does this happen often?" I asked Lizzy who was looking like nothing was wrong.

"Sometimes," she said shrugging her shoulders. "Grandma says I shouldn't follow their example."

"She is right, you should follow Uncle Emmett's," I said pointing at Emmett who was sneaking into the kitchen to grab a bite.

"Don't give any of them ideas." Edward pleaded. I wonder why he avoided saying my name at all costs. If it wasn't because he was looking at me he could have been talking to the wall for all the emotion that he showed.

Jasper changed into slacks and a t-shirt and we girls sat back and gave orders as the boys painted the walls.

"Hey, I'm cooking tonight," I said suddenly, "won't it smell weird?" I didn't think eating in a freshly painted area was very healthy.

"How about we take the food to go and go have a night picnic?" Rosalie said. "I know there is a park near by, we passed it as we came here."

"That's great; I've never had a night picnic."

"I don't think I can stay very long, I should get Lizzy to bed on time, we have plans for tomorrow and I may have to go pick up Tanya." Edward said without looking back.

I was about to turn to him and tell him that maybe she could stay up for just a bit longer than usually but he was painting the ceiling. My eyes almost bugged out at the sight of him with his arms flexed holding the paintbrush. He had taken his t-shirt off and his muscles were right there for my eyes. That guy was ripped. Wasn't e supposed to be some hotshot corporate that never hit the gym? Seriously no one had the right to be that hot. I just kept looking at him as he moved the brush back and forth, left and right. He lowered it to the paint bucket and the mental image was too much. I seriously had to close my mouth because I was about to start drooling. His head never came down, it was just looking up giving me a perfect view of his messed up hair that was just begging my fingers to go and run through the soft strands. I swear I could feel my hand reaching and I had to snap it back or I'd be guilty of giving my company a not very pleasant sight. I sighed and took my eyes off the beauty in front of me. I didn't even bother to look at those strong arms that were very well capable of lifting me up at any given time and carry me anywhere. I didn't even notice the muscles on his back that would allow my hands to have something to hold on to while he had his way with me. And I certainly didn't see the way he lolled his head one side and the other trying to recover his neck. I mean no one trying to relieve stress could look hot, and he was doing it without even realizing it. I was glad I couldn't see his face because if he made any relieved noises I'd have to pull him to the bedroom and I don't think he'd like that. Of course he wouldn't. He hated me. He had a freaking model girlfriend and I was just overreacting to the lack of sex that this 'new life' has given me.

"enjoying the view?" Alice said leaning my way and very quietly, for which I was glad.

"I understand the likes for redesigning now," I laughed whispering, "I think I may want my apartment redecorated monthly. I may have to bring my own eye candy for the next time."

"Or we can just leave Tanya behind again," she said with a wink. Let's be real, I didn't like Tanya with all that Alice has told me, and yet I didn't want Alice trash talking her on her back. I mean, couldn't she do the same to me then? But I just shut up my thoughts and ignored the little voice in my head that told me this was wrong.

"I don't think either of them would appreciate it, Alice," I confided.

"Well, Tanya won't, but it will only boost Eddie's ego even more." Was she serious? I had to get out of here now.

"Where is Esme?" I asked looking around, "I should really get to work with lunch."

"She is with Lizzy. She is sad that dad couldn't make it. I mean two of the boys there are her sons, that'd be kind of weird, huh?" She laughed louder now and attracted the attention of the boys. Jasper realized immediately what we were doing and gave is butt a sexy slap. "Hey baby!" he said to Alice with a grin, "enjoyin' the show?" and he winked at her. Alice just laughed and told him with a straight face:

"We're taking that brush home with us, sir."

I had to get up now, Rosalie had stood up and was openly making out with Emmett, and the Edward was the only one painting now, so I really had to leave.

"Hey Esme," I said walking into the kitchen and looking at the drawing Lizzy was making.

"Hey Bella, are they on task still or are they on the make out break?" she said so calmly that I couldn't believe her words.

"Yeah, they're on break alright." I said laughing nervously.

"Hey baby, how's the drawing going?" Edward's metallic voice came from behind me and I jumped surprise. I looked over my shoulder and wished I hadn't. He was standing on the doorway, chest bare arms on each side of the door and a wicked grin on his face. Did he have any idea of what he was doing to me right now? I, for the first time wished he was mean to me. At least I'd scowl at his face instead of just staring and not even feeling my legs. I turned to the sink and took a glass of water. I had to calm down. We were like oil and water. We were enemies. I couldn't even begin to be attracted to the guy because it would end in disaster and less friendships. I took a deep breath and looked back at Edward and Lizzy while they laughed together.

"Okay! Break is over. Get to work guys, Bella is working as well." Esme gave the order and a few groans were heard from the living room.

"They were all with their girls, so I thought I could come to the kitchen and see mine." Edward said hugging Lizzy and Esme and I felt a tug on my chest. I turned back to my chest. I started pulling out the ingredients for tonight. I settled for something that was easy to carry back and forth and wouldn't need much of cutlery. Lasagne was the only thing that popped to mind and I got to work as fast. As the meat got ready I washed some fruits and put them in the refrigerator. I cut up vegetables and started settling the lasagne.

"Whew!" Rosalie came and flopped on the counter, "it was getting hot in the living room and there were no more windows to open."

"Well, I'm cooking here, so it isn't going to be much cooler." I said smirking. I knew exactly what was hot there but I just needed to make her say it.

"Yes, but you aren't cooking Emmett, and I might just eat him right there if I don't get away." She said and I looked at Esme.

"I'm ok, just trying to be deaf." She laughed. Then I looked at Lizzy, she was very into her drawing, but something told me that the little girl had heard, and understood, what had been just said.

Well, if Mr. Protective was okay with all of this I wasn't going to say anything. Also, I'm sure that the makeovers with Alice involved talks, not exactly about sex, but about relationships.

I put the lasagne in the oven and sat down to relax a little bit.

"Hey, we're done here. Can we move into the kitchen now?" Emmett asked from the doorway. My little kitchen was crowded now. We were 8 people in it and there was no space to move around.

"I guess you can. There isn't much to paint here because of the tides on the walls, so it shouldn't take much longer."

"Good, 'cause I'm dead beat." Emmett said and started ushering us out. "Go to the living room, do your nails, gossip about something."

"Okay, okay. We're leaving." Alice said laughing and gave Jasper a peck on the lips as she walked by him.

"I really don't want to see you guys in the month right after you get married." I laughed and walked out.

"Actually I don't think much will change," she said with a thoughtful look. "We've been acting like a married couple for a couple of years now, since we moved in together. It shouldn't make much of a difference other than I'll be wearing a ring."

"Are you going to change your name?" I asked honestly interested.

"I'm not sure, it makes things easier for later on, but it really doesn't matter to him or me. I might just add it to my maiden one and be done with it."

"I didn't change mine because of all of the publicity stuff, and the brands I have, but I don't think I would have changed it anyways. It's such an old fashioned thing, no offence." Rosalie added looking at Esme.

"None taken, dear." Esme smiled, "I think a name makes less difference to some people than others. I did want to change mine, I wanted everyone to know that I had Carlisle," she said with a shy smile, "but I married him for the man e is, not because of his too much famous name."

One hour later I was standing on the door to the kitchen both ogling, again, and making sure that Emmett didn't get ahead and ate the food. The timer of the oven had already reached zero and I saw him more than once eyeing it. I kept joking about it to disguise my drooling, but I had stopped trying to convince myself that I wasn't physically attracted to Edward. Who wouldn't? I was sure the place of his secretary was one of the most disputed in the city. I would enjoy very much hanging out tomorrow with his colleagues; maybe they'll share some stories about him. Employees always talk about their bosses no matter how good those are.

"We're done!" Jasper exclaimed wiping beads of sweat off his forehead.

"Good, Carlisle is on his way over." Esme said closing her phone.

"Go get cleaned up while we wrap up the food." Alice ordered and the boys groaned. "You're a bunch of kindergarteners." She laughed and pushed Jasper towards the bathroom.

"Don't even think about locking yourself in there, missy!" Rosalie laughed and Edward just glared at her.

"Rose, can you please try and feel sorry for my ears? That's my baby sister you're talking too. And you're doing it in front of my daughter. I don't want any questions from her later tonight, because you are going to put to practice your parenthood skills and explain to her."

"Okay, okay. I'll stop with the… umm… intercourse innuendos."

"Thank you." He sighed and I giggled a bit.

"I should call Tanya and see how is it going." He said heading for the balcony.

"Sure, go ask permission. We understand." Alice said coming from the washroom.

"I don't need permission from anyone, Alice." He glared at her. The guy went from pleading to groaning in a second. What's wrong with his moods?

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." She dismissed and he just shook his head.

Emmett went and cleaned up and as he came out Edward came back.

"My turn yet?" he asked looking around us.

"Yeah, you're the only one left." Esme said.

"Okay, don't forget to grab blankets. I don't want Lizzy to catch a cold outside."

"Don't worry I got some and Carlisle is bringing her jacket in a few minutes."

"okay." And with that he walked into the washroom and I tried to erase the mental images of him taking a shower and wet and naked in my shower because I'd need a cold one right away.

* * *

AN: hey everyone! i know it's been forver since i last updated, and that i had been spoiling you with chapters every two days or so. but i've been writing this chapter on paper since monday (because my PC is broken) and believe me writing in the subway and busses is a pain. lets thank my friend that lent me his laptop for me to type all my journals and projects because school has been a killer lately and work is not easing up, recession or not. i don't want to get fired either, so i'm trying to manage here.

next chapter will be a bit about the picnic and the the date at night and maybe someting else. i don't know. i'm just writing as it comes to my mind. and i'll try to get it out faster than tis one, although it all depends on the stars and how happy my friend is feeling.r,

if you're confused about something just say it and i'll do my best to work through it. give me an update and i'll try and work through it.

is everyone as exited for march break as i am? i may be going to cuba for vacaton, so if i don't update don't get mad, i'm just sitting at the beach and getting a tan... not to rub it in... hahahahah

so, update if you feel like it and if you want to make me happy... which you dont have to unless you want to,. and i'm starting to ramble, so i'm just gonna post this ting and get to bed before 1am....


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14:

"I am NOT riding with him!" I whispered mad to Alice and stomped my foot down. I was acting like a misbehaved child, but I didn't care.

"Quit being a baby, Bella!" she scolded. "You're acting worse than he is." She added with a roll of her eyes.

"Beeeella!" Lizzy called from behind me. "You'll ride with us, right?" she asked and her pleading eyes were hard not to feel sorry for.

Agh! She knew that tone undid me. Hell, it probably undid the entire family except Alice, because she had mastered it too. I dropped my shoulders and nodded my answer. This would be the first time in my life that I didn't place bids on the shotgun position. Edward would probably shoot me if I sat there…

Carlisle arrived shortly after we had finished packing the food. Since they all came together in the van, now there was no space for me to ride in and I was going to ride with Lizzy; which would have been fine with me if it wasn't for the fact that her dad was the one driving. They had all changed into fresh clothes and looked like they hadn't been giving us girls a magnificent show back at my place. That didn't mean he looked less appealing. Every time wind blew our way I felt the delicious mixture of my shower gel and a spicy fresh scent that must have been 100% Edward. His hair was slightly damp and no professional barber or hair stylist would ever be able to replicate the perfection sexy disarray of his hair. It was as if every single thing he did, excluding the ones that included me, made me more attracted to him. And I hated him for it.

Yet, no matter how much I hated him and his prejudices I couldn't deny I had a crush on his body just after a few hours of him shirtless and heavy lifting. And that wasn't a good thing at all. I needed to be secure of my actions and act like he didn't catch my attention. One slip and he'd probably put a restraining order on me. Perhaps that was the answer. Cut him cold turkey. But how was I going to do that if I needed his family to not feel lonely and his daughter was my first friend in this place? More urgently, how could I avoid him right now, when I was about to be in a closed space with him? No matter how short the time. I know I wouldn't be able to stop ogling. I'd have to focus all of my attention on everything around me. What wouldn't I give to be easily distracted?

"So, we're all set, right?" Alice asked from the other car. _NO!_ I wanted to shout. _I am not 'all set'! I need earplugs and a bulletproof glass._ Maybe my dad could get me one. I stopped there. I was overreacting. What was wrong with me? Bulletproof glass? Restriction order? I needed help. The guy hadn't said a word to me ever since the showdown at my apartment, and here I was seeking witness protection programs.

"Let's go already!" Lizzy shouted and I had to laugh. She was not patient.

"Are you excited, Lizzy?" I asked her while she got in the back seat.

"Yep!" she responded lightly and fastened her seatbelt. Edward came around the other side of where I stood and checked the clasps meticulously. Then he gave her the thumbs up and a bright smile. Lizzy smiled back at him and kicked her legs.

"Where is the park?" he asked from the front seat as the van with the rest of the family took off. He was talking to me, but he hadn't said my name, so I decided to push his buttons and ignore him to see what he'd do. I kept talking to Lizzy about nothing, just her clothes and she told me stories about when she got them, or times she wore them. I was surprised about how much she remembered of her life. Kids tend to forget unimportant details, but she remembered everything. I was sure that each of those experiences meant a lot to her and that was why she shared them with me. I felt lucky.

Edward's sigh brought me from my conversation and I bit the inside of my cheek to stop from laughing.

"Isabella?" he said in a grave tone, and I swear I had to take a deep breath. Damn him. "Where is the park?"

"Oh," I said mocking surprise, too fake so that he'd know I was playing him. Through the rear-view mirror I saw his glare. "It's four blocks down and then to the left. You won't miss it. Don't worry." I said waving my hand nonchalantly.

He started the car and I was aware of two things: the importance of seatbelts and the reason my dad was a police chief. He revved the engine and was in no time at all back on the street in a spin that was very movie-like. My eyes were wide and my pulse racing. I looked at him just to find him looking back at me with a smirk. It did nothing to my heart rate, which picked up and threatened to jump out, at the sight of his face. I could feel my heartbeat echo all over my body and towards my navel. Was I getting exited now? I had just been afraid not a second ago! This man was just impossible. I huffed and tried to ignore the goose bumps that now were all over my body. I swallowed hard and relaxed back on my seat of the next 30 seconds that was the only time remaining from the trip.

We got there at the same time the others did. Despite they had left first. Edward sighed again. He had sighed a lot this afternoon… I had no doubt that he was counting down the seconds until he would head back to his place. I knew I was, too. All this confusing emotions were giving me a headache. And with the impending shopping trip tomorrow I wanted to have a good night sleep.

He got out of the car while I fiddled with my seatbelt trying to get it open. He wasted no time at all in Lizzy's door and came around mine to open it for me. I got the clasp open right on time, and looked up at him. I think my mouth hung open. He was standing there like a god offering entrance to heaven. His hand extended towards me and he looked down with a blank expression. Anything was better than his cold stare, I thought to myself. I could have sworn there was a light behind him somewhere and soft music flowed on the background, but I couldn't be sure for I was still trapped in his gaze. Dazzled. That was the word. I was lulled into him just to have him act like it was nothing to turn me into a pool of feeling at his feet. _I hated him! Stupid Cullen! _

I took his hand and he helped me out of the car. How did he manage to dazzle me one second and be ready to rip his limbs apart the next one? God, I needed help!

In the short second we were linked I felt how soft, yet strong, his grip was. It wasn't as warm as my hand. It was a few degrees cooler, but it didn't bother me like John's cold hands bothered me when he got home from work. I closed my eyes for a second and tried to make it seem like a blink that lasted longer than usual. I gave into the feeling but I was too late, I was out of the car and his hand was gone and I heard Lizzy's laugh as he lifted her in his arms and swung her around.

I waved towards Alice and the rest of the family and proceeded to take out the front seat the two baskets of food I had brought with us.

"I'll take them." Edward's voice startled me.

"It's no bother," I said shrugging my shoulders.

"I'll take them." He said again and I knew there was no point on arguing with him. His tone made it clear.

"Atta boy." Esme complimented as we reached them.

"I think a far away spot is best for us to sit down." Rose was saying as we stood by them. "Less chance of people walking their dogs…" she said wrinkling her nose in disgust.

"Not that much of an animal lover, huh?" I teased her, bumping her hip.

"Only stuffed ones."

"Yeah, I like stuffed turkeys too." Emmet boomed from inside the van and I had to laugh. Trust him to link any conversation with food.

Lizzy reached for my hand and started pulling me away from everyone much like she had done with Edward earlier on today. I guess this time we would be exploring the park, not my apartment.

"What parts do you like best?" she asked.

"I don't really know." I told her truthfully. "I've been here once only, and I didn't get a chance to really walk because I was only passing by."

"Wanna look around?" she asked excited.

"Sure, let's ask your dad and the rest first." We moved back and they had already settled the baskets and a cloth on the ground.

"Guys! You're in the middle of the field." I laughed. "I thought you wanted to avoid people walking their pets."

"We are," Esme answered, "but I don't really want to cross paths with the fauna living in the trees."

"Oh, I see." I said looking to the trees bordering the field.

Lizzy pulled on my hand and gave me a pointed look. "Oh, right!" I said remembering the reason we came back, "Lizzy wants to go look around before sitting down to eat." I asked in general, although I knew the one to give permission would be Edward. They all turned to Edward and he stood up.

"I'll come, too." He said looking only at Lizzy

"O...Kay then." I said just to say something because I was at a loss of words on the subject that someone didn't consider me apt to look after their child for a few minutes.

I started walking back to where we were before and Lizzy called me back.

I turned around and saw her running towards me dragging Edward along. He looked …resigned? …Relaxed? I really couldn't tell. But I didn't pay much attention to it. He kept a constant mask on when he was around me.

"Where do you want to go?" I asked her.

"What do you want to do?" she asked back.

"I don't really know, Lizzy. It's as new for me as it is for you." I said looking around, "How about we just walk around and if there is something that calls our attention we'll make new plans?"

She took one my hands with her free one and started walking towards a curve in the field. I could hear voices from children front the other side of the trees and she heard them too.

"Let's go over there!" she said pointing towards the steep slope from where the laughs were coming from.

"Let's." I said and started leading the way. She looked up at me and then at Edward. Then back at me again but this time her smile was more obvious. She pulled both our hands in front of her and started walking again. The back of my hand was gazing the back of Edward's and I didn't want to pull away and make Lizzy wonder about my reaction, but I saw that Edward was having a hard time with having me this close.

We went around the curve and met a bunch of kids about Lizzy's age playing in a slightly steep slope. They were using picnic blankets. I looked down at Lizzy and guessed her reaction. I was right, I saw the spark in her eyes and she beamed with a smile. I didn't have to look at Edward to know that he didn't like this idea.

"Dad…" Lizzy started, but didn't finish. I looked at Edward and understood why. The look on his eyes was a very potent NO. "Pretty, pretty please…" she tried begging. The puppy eyes look plastered on her face. How could he stand it? Years of practice with her and Alice, I had no doubts. It wasn't the fact that she was asking so heartbreakingly. It was that she was making him want to go there too. Hell! Even I wanted to go now.

"It'll be so much fun!" she pleaded pulling on his hand. "Look, they are all laughing. Let's try it!"

"I don't think it'd be that good." He said kneeling between her and the view. "You could get scratches and bleed. You don't know what's on the ground, Lizzy."

"That's why they use blankets!" she argued.

"Which we don't"

"We could go get one from the rest. Maybe they'd even like to come! I bet Uncle Emmett would!" she was masterfully fighting her case, and I knew Edward had no reply for that one last point. If the little that I knew about Emmett was right, then he would come himself here if he knew about this.

"Yes, but we can't leave them without blankets. I doubt Rose and Alice would want to ruin their clothes, and what if you ruined yours?!" he had found a loophole. Lizzy's face grew thoughtful and I knew he had won the argument. He realized it too and let a small smile on his face. I bet he, right now, loved Alice's influence on his little girl.

"fine." She sighed and gave the kids a longing look. I wanted so badly to go, too. I didn't care about my jeans getting dirty. I knew I had to set a good example for her and try to get along with her father, but the laughter and screams of happiness were making it so difficult. I sighed and decided not to push it much father.

"Can we go to the swings then?" she asked a bit sad.

"sure." Edward replied and took her hand again. Lizzy took mine and pulled me along with her and Edward.

Past the kids there were swings and sliders. Lizzy let go of us and sat in one.

"Do you want me to push you, Lizzy?" I asked her trying to cheer her up.

"No. it's ok." She answered softly. She saw me look a bit sad and changed her expression. "Don't worry, I like doing it myself."

"Oh, ok." I liked her but I knew that some people, like me, didn't like the attention. So I decided to giver her some space and sat down in a bench.

"She likes you a lot, you know?" Edward's voice came from beside me. I hadn't felt him sit down.

"I know… but I did want to slide downhill." I said looking at her.

"What makes you think I didn't?" I just looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Just because I want to protect her doesn't mean I don't like to have fun. We do have fun. But with so many people there something could go wrong, and I'm not good with chances." He replied looking straight at me.

"So, you don't like giving life chances?" I asked surprised. How did someone who didn't take chances become as successful as he is? That didn't make sense. I knew he hadn't inherited anything from Carlisle because they weren't working in the same industry, and Carlisle never mentioned anything related to him having a second job.

"I try to be sure of the immediate future when it comes to Lizzy. I have had to take some risks in life, but I'm not about to take any with her." He said solemnly.

"But isn't her growing up just a risk?" I asked and I saw that my question could have been taken the wrong way. "What I mean is, what guarantees you that she'll grow up to be exactly what you want her to? What if she wants to do all the things that you wouldn't let her? Isn't it best that she tries them now while you can supervise her?"

"I know that." He answered my rhetorical questions. "But I can try to show her that there are risks that you don't necessarily need to take, and my goal in life is to give her everything I can so that she doesn't have to worry about it later. I don't want to loose her too."

'_Too' _I repeated to myself. Had Edward lost a child already? Lizzy did mention a brother, but she simply said he wasn't with them anymore. If she said so little respect it I doubt Edward would like to even mention it.

"So basically you don't want to give things the chance to not turn as you'd like them to when it concerns Lizzy. Not even people." I concluded looking into his eyes. The last part came sounding sad but I didn't care. I wanted to let him know that not everyone was on Earth to harm the little girl. I wanted to show him how much it upset me that he wouldn't trust me. I hated him for it, but I wish it wasn't so. Just like I hated him for being so attractive, and at the same time I wished he wouldn't seem so attractive to me so I could get over it. If he was any other people, like Tanya, I wouldn't give a damn if he liked me or not, but for some reason I cared too much about his opinion. It wasn't only for the fact that Lizzy was counting on me, although it was great part of it. There was something else, though; something I couldn't put my finger on, and it bothered me.

"It's not that I want to lock her in a crystal cage and keep the world away from her. It's just that… I haven't had people with the best intentions get close to her, aside from my family." He said looking at Lizzy throw her head back as she swung back and forth. "And, well... media people were the worst of them." He added looking at me.

He was explaining the reasons for his attitude, but he wasn't apologizing for it. I could see that it would take much more than this conversation to convince him that I wasn't going to harm in any way the little girl.

I, however, surprised that he took it upon himself to start a conversation. It was a step forward that I didn't expect this soon, given what happened in my apartment this morning.

"I could say that lawyers and stockbrokers were heartless bastards but I don't put you with them. I see how you are with your daughter and your family too, when you let your guard down." I told him truthfully.

He looked up at me a bit shocked; a bit mad, too. "I know that was harsh, but it's the truth of what I think." I told him turning red. I know that was more than harsh, and that my words were more offending than his, but I couldn't take them back. And I probably wouldn't if I had the chance.

"Thanks for the honesty, I guess?" he was still surprised at my bluntness. I hoped my explanation would tone down my words. "And I'm neither of those things. Although it's pretty close." He said laughing a bit. I was glad he seemed more relaxed and got over my words that quickly.

"well I'm not into the part of the media you fear, I barely know about celebrities and such, but you put me in with the rest." I accused.

"So did you, although you decided to not show your real feelings about the people that share my profession until now." He said with a smirk.

"Actually I hadn't said anything because you never gave me a chance to say anything, and I told you I didn't treat you like I would any of the others because you are not like them." I said shutting him up.

"Fine, whatever." He said looking pissed, "you're a better person than me. Are you happy now?"

"Yes," I said although I didn't feel happy. I felt anything but. That had been a long conversation that didn't end like I wanted it too. But it was a step forward. At least I knew we wouldn't be at each other's neck all the time now. The guy could actually hold a conversation and act like a normal person.

I looked back at Lizzy and saw that she was swinging dangerously high. Was this normal for her to do? Edward hadn't seen it yet because we had been looking at each other. Lizzy had her yes closed. And her smile was tranquil and relaxed. She was enjoying the speed, the thrill of the danger. I guess that was why she wasn't scared of Edward's maniac driving.

"Elizabeth Ma- Cullen! Stop that swing this instant!" I felt Edward roar from beside me. And then in a flash he was by the side of the swing. He didn't care apparently that he was in the path of the swing; or anything else around him, for that matter.

The scream had brought Lizzy from her reverie and now she was bending her legs to slow down the rocket-like swing.

"Dad! Why?!" She cried, "That was so much fun! Well, not as fun as sliding down the hill." She said with a mischievous grin and started gaining up speed again. Edward took a hold of the swing like it was nothing. He wasn't even affected by the momentum. He just held it like it hadn't been moving or that it came with the force of a grown 8 year old in it.

"Well, that's why I stopped you." He said more calm now and started to pull her off the seat.

"Why?" she asked mad. And hugged more forcefully the chains that held the swing.

"Because it was getting as dangerous as going downhill. Although this time you would have flown across the park."

"Why?" she was interested now in the possibility of flying. Even I saw that.

"Because you were swinging, on the air. Not sliding on the land." He explained trying to pull her delicately from the swing.

"Oh, that would have been fun." She said smiling and let him get her off the swing.

"I think we should head back." I said meeting them halfway, "we've left the others without their dose of Lizzy for the evening."

"Yeah, it's almost dark, too." She said looking at the sky.

"Wouldn't want to hold Emmett from eating, now would we." Edward added laughing.

We started back to where the others were, but the twilight colours brought a new lighting to the park, and everything looked more beautiful than when we left. It was mostly silent now; you could hear the noises of the street without the laughter of the children. A few barking dogs were there too, but you couldn't see them too well.

I looked in the direction we had left the others setting but the number of people there didn't math the number of people we had left. The darkness tends to fall pretty quickly when you aren't paying attention. One minute it's still clear outside, but the next one it's all black. I had read somewhere that the light from the Sun took 8 minutes to reach Earth. That meant that after the Sun had set we still had 8 minutes of light. It wasn't enough time to do anything you might need light for, gut it was an interesting fact. I guess our 8 minutes were up. I chuckled a bit and Edward and Lizzy turned to me interested.

"I was just thinking." I said with a smile, "that our eight minutes were up." Lizzy looked at me confused and Edward seemed to catch on in a minute.

"What eight minutes?" she asked interested. "Is it like that game eight minutes in heave?"

Edward's eyes flashed to her figure and he frowned, "where did you hear about that?" he asked almost mad. I guess he was mad, but was trying to give his daughter the benefit of the doubt.

"I heard it in one of mom's favourite MTV shows. How do you play that game?" he looked at me pleading for help. I immediately thought of a game that would seem lame to her, but couldn't come up with anything, but I couldn't rick her asking to play '8 minutes in heaven' with every kid in her class.

"It's like hide and seek," I said, "but grown ups think they're too cool to call it that." Edward relaxed and we reached the others. I was relieved; in truth there was some hiding and _seeking_ in the '**Seven** minutes in heaven' game. Just not the kind she was used to. I hoped she stuck with the regular name for her game and decided not to change it just because. Both way, this was one of the questions a father never wanted to answer his daughter; and I was still laughing internally at Edward's scared expression.

"Why don't they stick with the real name of the game?" Lizzy asked. I had forgotten she was in her 'Why…?' stage. She would ask the why's of everything because she now began to understand the world.

"What game?" Alice asked. I looked around and saw that Rose and Jasper were missing. I thought these couples were some kind of soul-Siamese-twins because they never left the other's company. I was surprised to see only half of the lovers here.

"We were talking about hide and seek." Edward said quickly, before Lizzy could add the new definition I had given her.

"Where are the others?" I asked trying to change the topic.

"Rose was called by Tanya because she needed her there. Jasper went get me a few things I need for tomorrow."

"Why didn't you call me?!" Edward turned mad to her.

"Because this is the first time since your daughter arrived that you've had any time with her that wasn't monitored by your employees or your clingy girlfriend." She snapped back without even thinking about it. Edward opened his mouth to answer her, and by the look on Lizzy's face he wasn't going to be gentle about it.

"Alice!" Esme reproached her and looked at me apologetically, cutting off Edward effectively. "Bella will think you were raised by wolves. Can't you put your differences aside for a few hours?"

"I was surprised it lasted this long." Carlisle murmured but cleared his throat when Esme glared at him. If I were him I would want to cross Esme just about now. She was looking pretty mad.

"Alice, I don't need your approval to date or make my life with. I will not ask you again to make an effort and get to know Tanya before you judge her. You've had plenty of time for that and I have seen that you can't behave yourself." He was calmer now, but the tone of his voice was threatening. "I expected you at least could call me and let me know when the woman that will be my future wife needed me…" he stopped short and looked at Lizzy's shocked expression.

"I guess it's out now. Huh?" Alice said smugly, "you're welcome. This was the perfect way to tell her."

"I think I should go." I said standing up quickly.

"Yeah, me too." Emmett said nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

"No, Bella!" Lizzy pleaded pulling my jeans. "You have to eat first."

"Hey, what about me?" Emmett asked her amused.

"You ate already, silly!" she giggled. "Bella stay. You can't leave if you haven't eaten."

"Is that what your mom and dad tell you?" I asked her trying to joke and relieve some of the tension that was flowing between Edward and Alice. Brothers and sisters never were the best of friends. But this case was way worse than any sibling fight I had seen in the past.

"I'm gonna go. Bye family!" Emmett said and started walking towards the street. "I'll grab a taxi and charge it to Edward since my wife took our car to pick up his future wife." He said laughing out loud.

"Actually I think we should leave." Edward said and started to pull Lizzy up to leave.

I heard Alice sigh and she stood up. "I'm sorry Edward. I was completely out of place. Can I talk to you alone? Mom and Dad haven't had much time with Lizzy and I don't think it'd be fair you take her home because of me. Can you consider talking to me before you leave?" she asked and she sounded truly sorry. She wasn't using the pout to get her way. She was asking for forgiveness.

"I think you've said enough." He replied still tense.

"Edward, go talk to your sister!" Carlisle ordered him in a severe tone that left no room for argument.

"Fine." He replied stubbornly and started walking at a fast pace toward the parking lot.

I sat back down staring at their retreating figures.

"I'm so sorry you had to see that, Bella." Esme apologized and fidgeted with her hands. There was very little left of the woman that had calmed the fight moments ago. I could see part of that woman return to her as she casted her eyes to where her daughter and son were talking. "I thought they would get over it, but it hasn't changed for the better, I'm afraid." She said leaning into Carlisle. "Would you like to eat something?" she asked hopeful.

"I'd love to, Esme." I wasn't really hungry but I didn't want to upset her. I was also thinking about Lizzy. About the look of shock on her face as Edward mentioned his future plans for Tanya. I knew they weren't engaged, but his words made me realize that maybe Lizzy didn't know he had future plans for them. Her shock made sense if Alice's word of Lizzy's dislike towards Tanya were true. Other than the weird glances she threw at me, Tanya had been nothing but polite with me. We did glare at each other when I was shopping with Alice, but at Esme's house she was ok. It was like the house was some kind of mutual space where they all behaved, except Emmett, of course. But I found his character very fresh, and he didn't seem to care much about other people's opinions. I could be contradicting what I said a few days ago, but from the bunch, right now he seemed the most normal one.

Let's count it off, shall we? Alice apparently had some kind of grudge against Tanya that didn't seem to ease off, and I was secretly afraid of ever doing something that might turn her wrath against me. Tanya apparently was well on her way of becoming anorexic and was hated by half of the family. Rosalie wasn't the best welcoming committee and Jasper was pretty shy. He had spoken two words if anything during dinner. That left Emmett, he was immature, sometimes said things he shouldn't and had respect for personal space. However, he had this vibe of good heart that made you forget of the things he did. Making him effectively the cute child that everyone loves.

"You should eat more." Lizzy's voice came softly bringing me from my thoughts.

I looked at her and saw her staring at the silhouettes of Edward and Alice. I could see the shorter figure waving her arms around like crazy and then placing one at her waist. Edward leaned back against the car and he seemed to be the calmer one as they spoke. I was curious about what could they be talking about. I mean, it wasn't as if Alice needed time alone to express what she thought about Tanya, because she did that straight to his face, but what else could be going on in her mind. Obviously Edward knew all the things she was saying about Tanya. If he still was with her, despite that, maybe there was something else to her: The reason why he put up with all of the hate and still loved her. I concluded he must love her, if he was going to marry her someday. You didn't plan on marrying a person just because you might fall in love with them one day. It wouldn't work that way. Take it from the woman with two divorces on her record.

"Yes, I should." I smiled at Lizzy and took more of the delicious tuna salad that Esme had bought. She smiled at me and took another piece of fruit. "Grandma, what are they talking about?" she asked turning to Esme.

"I don't know, honey. But I am sure your Aunt Alice is apologizing for her behaviour. She said things a lady should never say." She taught Lizzy.

Lizzy nodded and kept her eyes on the silent movie going on by the car. "Is dad really going to marry Tanya?" se asked quietly to no one in specific. I looked at Esme and saw hurt and fear in he eyes. Carlisle pulled Lizzy to him and spoke softly to her.

"Do you not want your dad to tell you about it himself?"

"But he didn't tell me." She whined to him.

"Oh, honey, I'm sure he was going to tell you really soon. But he didn't know how."

"He didn't know what?"

"Your dad loves you very much, Lizzy," Esme said, "he wanted to tell you at the right time. Why do you think people get married?"

"So they can live together and have babies?" she answered but it was more like a question. "But dad and Tanya already live together."

"Yes, but sometimes you want to let everyone know that you love someone." Carlisle said giving her a quick kiss on her forehead.

"Everybody knows my dad and Tanya are boyfriend and girlfriend." She countered.

"That's true, but marriage is more than that. Have you seen your mom how happy she is with James?" Carlisle asked her

"Yes." She said shortly. "But I don't know why. He is weird."

"Well, sometimes what you find weird in a person someone else loves it. You know how happy you dad is with Tanya." Esme explained.

"I don't know. She is never around when we're together." She said pulling her eyebrows together in meditation.

"When he tell you about Tanya and him, ask him. He'll tell you why he wants to marry her." Carlisle finally said as the two figures approached. I had been minding my food. Trying to give some space to the three of them to talk, but I did listen to the entire conversation, I couldn't block them out.

"Are you two done misbehaving?" Esme scolded Alice and Edward as they reached us.

"We are done talking about it today, but no one gave up." He answered calmly.

Lizzy looked as them with a question in her eyes.

"What your dad means is that he still thinks I'm being immature…"

"Which she is." Edward cut her off.

"…and I still think that Tanya is a go-…" she didn't finish her sentence because Esme threw her a warning glance.

"Fine." She huffed. "I will hold my opinion on the subject but I will not make any offending comments."

"Thank you." Edward sighed. "It'd still be better if we went home. It's getting late and cold here."

"No it's not!" Lizzy whined, "I'm not cold."

"But you do need to get to bed before it's too late or tomorrow you won't be awake for our day of fun." He negotiated. "And besides your mom is about to call and she won't like it if you're not in bed."

"Fine!" she said standing up, "what are you doing tomorrow, auntie?"

"I am going shopping with Bella in the morning…" oh, great! I had forgotten about the shopping. I guess I won't get to sleep in tomorrow either."… and then I'll help her and Angela get ready for their outing tonight."

"I wanna come!" she said jumping up and down looking at Edward. "Please, please! Please, dad!" she had the pout on and her eyes were getting big and watery. Edward wasn't going to stand a chance. I could see the internal battle of giving his little girl what she wanted and being selfish and keeping her to himself.

"Lizzy, honey," I said trying to help him out, "don't you want to spend a fun day with your dad? We can go shopping any day you'd like. But it's a Sunday and I'm sure your dad has missed you."

She looked at his face calculating. I could see that Edward had hurt in his eyes. He had just been replaced by a few hours of shopping. Surely the little girl couldn't understand how the simplest things could hurt a person. I'm sure in her mind she understood that she'd have the rest of the summer to be with him and delaying it one day couldn't hurt. But it did hurt.

"If you want to go, it's okay, Liz." He said kneeling down in front of her.

"But, you said…" she didn't finish.

"It's okay if you want to go have fun Lizzy." He said a bit louder now but hugged her in an attempt to not let her see his face.

I turned to Alice and her parent and saw the same pained expression in their faced.

"Edward, I…" Alice started but he interrupted her.

"No, it's okay, Alice. You girls have fun. I have work to catch up on, before vacation."

"Lizzy?" I tried making things better. "Can I tell you a secret?" I asked once she turned to me.

"What secret?"

"Come closer." I beckoned her. When she was by mi side I kneeled down and whispered in her ear. "I think your dad had something really special to start off the summer. We can go shopping everyday you want, like I promised, but his surprise might not be there when we come back. How about we make plans for an entire day of shopping and makeovers next week and you can tell me about all the fantastic things you and your dad did."

"But you guys will go shopping tomorrow! And we didn't have a lot of time shopping last time! Remember?"

"I remember, but you've spent even less time with your dad. And besides our shopping trip will be very short tomorrow. Alice said we had to get ready, and I have some work to do. But don't tell Alice I'm planning on cutting it short. Ok?"

"Ok, it'll be out secret." She said louder and looked fleetingly at Alice.

"What is going on down there?" Alice said looking from me to Lizzy.

"Nothing. So, Lizzy, I'll see you next week?" I asked her raising an eyebrow. This was it, if she whined again about wanting to go tomorrow I knew there was nothing else I could do.

"Ok!" she said happily and took her dad's hand, "Bye Bella!"

"Bye Miss Lizzy. Sweet dreams!" I waved my hand at her.

They walked towards their car and I realized I had to swallow my shyness and ask for a ride or grab a taxi like Emmett did. The difference was that I didn't grab my wallet. Maybe I could bribe the driver with food. I looked at the baskets but they were mostly empty. Damn!

"I think Emmett got ahead of you." Esme laughed.

"Actually I was thinking how much food I'd need to bribe someone to drive me home. Can you and Carlisle drop me by my street?"

"Actually Bella, I think Alice has other plans." She said looking at Alice who had a mischievous grin on her face. I would not like this.

"Well, we have talked about everything, but I really don't know much about you." She started. "And your apartment stinks right now, so it isn't safe to stay there tonight. I was hoping you'd want to stay over at my place tonight."

She was giving me the same pleading look that Lizzy had given Edward and I wasn't as practiced.

"Do I have a choice?" I asked her sarcastically.

"Well, just think about how heartbroken and lonely I will be if you don't come. I promise we will wake up late, there are stores closer to my place, and I have all these products that I won't have to carry to your place. And Angela lives closer to my side of town. You can decide what you want to do." She finished intertwining her hands and looking and her lap. Damn Pixie!

"I guess you'll have to wait at my place while I pack…" I sighed.

"Yes!" she said pumping her fist.

"I thought you were sad and lonely a minute ago." I said lifting an eyebrow.

"I was, but now I'm not. We'll have so much fun tonight. I know this great game and maybe I can convince Rose to stop by after she is done with Tanya. This will be great."

"But I do get to sleep in, right?" I checked that her promises were still on.

"Of course, silly! But we're going to bed late tonight."

"Then what's the point?" I asked her helping Esme pack everything as she was laughing at my attempts to get a fair deal with her daughter. Does this girl ever lose?

"Oh, stop complaining! I won't make you go out with bags under your eyes." She said waving me off.

We finished packing up and I started to think about the things I had to do today. I had promised to call Carrie; no doubt I'll have a message when I get home. I had to get curtains because I needed my sleep in my new life, too.

Carlisle took our bags and we got in the car. The short ride Alice was looking at me funny and when we reached my apartment she pulled out her phone.

"Mom, dad," she called to them, "you guys can go home. I think jasper should be done by now and he can drive us home."

"Are you sure sweetie?" Esme asked.

"Alice, we wouldn't mind driving you there. It's no bother." Carlisle told her honestly.

"Yeah, don't worry. You guys rest. I'll see you later."

"Okay then, I'll see you on Monday Bella." Carlisle said waving us goodbye.

"You will. Thanks again for everything Esme."

They drove off and I had Alice's hands pulling me into the building fast as lighting.

"So, what did you tell Lizzy to convince her of going with Edward? You know that won you major brownie points, right?" she said laughing as I pressed the UP button in the elevator. It was about 9PM only, but the building was silent. I wonder if aside from Creepy-Mike and Wilma anyone else lived here.

"I told her that our trip would be very short and that she hadn't spent much time with her dad." I explained shortly, not wanting to go into detail. "And I don't think an entire array of brownie points will help much with how much Edward trusts me."

"I don't think he'll be able to stop himself from trusting you for much longer." She muttered and I decided not to reply to that. First because it would turn into another round of questions and gossip; and second because deep down I wanted him to trust me. I wanted Libby to be able to hang out with me without having to deal with the stress that the moment her back was to us we would rip each other's throats out.

The smell of paint in the apartment was still strong and I was glad I didn't have to sleep here tonight, because my head would be killing me the next morning. The colour had changed a bit. Maybe it was the lights, maybe it had changed for real, and so far I was glad I had a professional working on it because I couldn't picture my modern furniture matching any of it.

"Let's get your overnight bag ready." Ali skipped down the hall towards my room. She started rattling through my drawers and I stood at the door looking at her. It was like a tornado; she went through each of my drawers in no time at all and pulled what she thought worthy dropping it on the bed.

"I thought I needed a bag, not a camping backpack." I laughed searching for a 'bag' big enough to put it all in. I had no fight left in me to ask her to be more rational about the things that I would use. I chose not to look at the lingerie and baby dolls that were in it. Was she expecting me to show them to anyone tomorrow? I certainly hoped not. I wasn't a prude per se, but I didn't do one night stands very well. I had a few in my life, I won't lie, but that wasn't what my new life was about.

"Do you mind if I make a phone call while you're packing my things?" I asked her. She nodded but didn't take her eyes off my closet.

"Hi, Care." I said as soon as she picked up the phone.

"Hey girl, I thought something went wrong." She sounded like she was half asleep, "why didn't you call me before?"

"Sorry to wake you up, I didn't call because it was a hectic day." I, then, proceeded to tell her the details of my day but not the details about Edward and our fight. I didn't think it'd be appropriate to do it while his sister was in the next room, despite whether or not they were on good terms at the moment.

"Sounds like you're doing okay up there." She said and she sounded glad.

"I am. How is the art collection a la Bella going?"

"Well, at least you came up with a name for it. I don't think I could take more of your remorse for my inspiration." She laughed, "It's doing pretty well, and I do need more drama from you so that I can finish the master piece."

"Well, you can dish on what you know about my ex and his new girl and I'll give you material to fill those canvases."

"I haven't heard much from Lily or him. He called you, right?"

"Yeah. But we didn't speak of anything. He didn't know what my intentions were by leaving, so he doesn't know how much it hurt." I sighed, "I hope that if he ever knew he'd understand why it hurt so much. I hope someday we can get our words out, but for now I am content with not having to face it."

"You do know that you'll come back someday and you'll have to see them, or at least the people that know them, right?"

"I know, but I am procrastinating." I smiled to myself; that was something I hadn't done in a long time.

"You should be getting some, not using big words." Carrie said laughing like the tomboy she was at times.

"Oh, my! Ii actually thought that we could have a conversation that wasn't shattered by your sexual comments."

"Well, I hope you're not forgetting me this soon."

"How're your dates going?" I asked trying to put the subject away for now.

"I went out with this guy who bought one of my pictures some time ago. It was nice and all, but I had the thought that maybe he just wanted a discount for his next one creeping back into my mind."

"I think you are over thinking things, Care; maybe the guy was interested in you for real, maybe he was attracted to you the same way he was attracted to your pictures."

"You mean he wanted to nail me to the wall?" she asked laughing like a maniac.

"You know what I mean." I said laughing and saw Alice coming back into the living room. "I have to go, Carrie. I'll talk to you soon. Stop being a Neanderthal and write me an e-mail. Will you?" maybe by e-mail I could give her more details and brag about the good views of the day.

"Fine, love ya."

"Back at'cha"

"Ugh, don't go all Chicagoan speech on me now. Ok?"

"'bye." I hung up still laughing.

"it sounds like you left a sister back in Pheonix." Alice commented and her eyes were a bit sad.

"I did." I said and looked around the room trying to find another topic that wasn't me leaving my home.

"why did you?" she asked, going straight to the point.

"why did I leave? I wanted some things that I couldn't have there." I explained looking straight at her, maybe if I faked that it was all that there was to the story she would let it at that.

"I hope you never leave us for a better job offer." She ventured. I saw that my words and actions could be misread.

"it wasn't a good job what I wanted. I wanted a chance to start a life, to make a family, Alice." I sighed giving up. I would have to tell her the story if I wanted some peace tonight. Alice got what she wanted, it was something I should get used to.

"and you couldn't there? Don't take me wrong, I love it that you came here, I got to meet you; but I don't think to start a family there is the need to move away from your family."

"actually I had moved away from my family before. Twice actually." I paused and sat down, motioning for her to do the same. "I first moved away when my mom remarried. I went to Washington State with my dad. Then I moved to Arizona for my university degree."

"I think Jasper got here. We can talk about our pasts later on, or tomorrow. He should be tired from today and I don't want to make him wait."

"yeah, let's not get the labour force angry. They could rebel." Is aid laughing turning off lights and heading to the door.

The car ride was quiet. I didn't miss the fact that Alice and Jasper not once stopped holding hands. I didn't miss how he brushed the back of her hand with his thumb in a soothing manner and I envied it. I envied the comfort and peace of having someone depending on you, not for economical reasons, but for emotional company. I missed being needed and needing someone. I sighed and rested my head back.

Alice's apartment was as different from mine as night ad day, mine being night. There were things that made mine home and there were things that made hers a palace. Everything was simply coordinated that the area looked like a finished symmetrical painting, yet it didn't look fake or plastic. It looked modern and sophisticated. This style didn't go together with my apartment very much. I hoped that Esme had other ideas for mine. The place looked like an IKEA commercial and I was awed by it. It was missing a few things I like to have at my place for comfort, but it screamed 'Alice' every way you looked.

"Welcome home!" Alice sang as she stood in the middle of the living room. I caught Jasper waving goodbye before he disappeared into a hallway on the other side of the room. The place was way bigger than I had thought.

"Wow, Alice! Your place is great!"

"I know!" she said happily and moved down a hallway. She stopped on a door and opened it, "this is your bedroom, it used to be Edward's so I won't blame you if you don't like it." I opened the door and couldn't imagine why I wouldn't like it. The place wasn't too big but had character. I could place Edward in it perfectly. The furniture was very simple, cream and black were the predominant colours in the furniture that adorned it. It had a desk and a armchair that looked pretty cozy for reading. I would have to get one of those for myself.

"You can go in, in a moment. Let me just show you the washroom and I'll head to bed. Jasper is pretty tired."

"Tell him I'm sorry."

"Don't worry; sex can't be the only means of exercise around here." She responded like it was a greeting

"Whoa! Direct much?" I asked her incredulous. She laughed and opened a door a few steps down the hallway. "This is it. You saw the kitchen already by the entrance, and if you need anything our bedroom is the on the other side of the living room."

"Thanks Alice! I didn't think I'd have someone to invite me to sleep over this soon in my new life." I said hugging her.

"I didn't think I'd meet someone that wasn't scared of my brother, either." She said laughing, "You've got them there."

"I'll take that as compliment." I said to her and turned to go to my bedroom.

The room was quiet, eerie even. You could hear the noises of the city but they were muted by the double glass windows and the distance. I opened the curtains and looked down. It was a funny feeling seeing everything at your feet. Empowering and snobbish. It was the way I perceived Edward, but if you cared enough you could see the details of all things going on down there, and that was also true. He was a good man; he just wouldn't let people in easily. Maybe he had been hurt too much and resolved to close himself in a hard shell. I knew I shouldn't care about his issues as long as they weren't with me, but I couldn't stop thinking about him. The way his eyes shined as he spoke of his daughter or the way they glistened with unshed tears as she gave up their special occasion for a shopping trip. She was a child still. She couldn't understand that no matter how strong her father was she had the power to turn him vulnerable with something as simple as a few words. I felt for him in that moment. I felt more than I had felt for him since the moment I met him. At that instant he was free of his mask, of the strength he used to push people away. In that instant his eyes reflected all he could be if he wanted to, and I saw the answer to my questions. I saw what Tanya and his family saw in him. I was only missing what he saw in Tanya. But secretly I didn't want to find it.

* * *

**_A/N: so, i know i haven't updated in a LOOOOOONG time. but i wasn't even in the country i didn't have a computer and i had a lot of work to catch up on. anyways, i am NOT dropping the story, no matter if i spen a month away or i die or i turn into a warewolf doings night shifts for my pack.... the story will continue and i'll finish it. i never stop thinking about the story. every thing that happens to me keeps giving me ideas for the things that could happen andi won't let them go to waste. i hope that the next update i can get it out sooner that it took me this time. but because i never had the time to actually sit to only write i didn't have a lot of inspiration._**

**_anyways. tell me what you think. this chapter is EXTRA long and i wanted to write more in it but i had a goal to get it out this long weekend no matter what. lets hope i dont have to wait for the next long weekend or vacation to get another chappy out. _**


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: this is getting our of hand!!! 18 pages!!! well, took me long enough, however, i made a promise to get it out before my birthday so here it is!!!

enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 15:

"Wakey, wakey sleepy head!" a very well know high pitched voice called to me.

"You know, she looks like Edward when he sleeps." Another voice said. Well, _that_ woke me up.

I had a great night sleep. After I was done looking out the window and thinking about the way it felt to do so I lied down in the bed. It wasn't all fluffy like I expected something that belonged to Alice to be. It was firm and comfortable. There weren't extra throw pillows to make it look nice or anything. It was just a bed. It had a purpose only: to let people sleep in it. The crisp white sheets were cold and foreign to me, but I was so tired that it didn't matter much. I was also glad I had gotten out of the 'fun night' with the girls because I did need my rest.

"Can't I even enjoy the fact that you have curtains? What's the point in having them, if you wake me up by the time the sun is not bothering me yet?" I groaned opening my eyes. I was hugging a pillow. That was a new one. I hadn't done that since I was in college _and_ I was in a break from John. I looked up to see Rosalie and Alice waiting for me.

"Rose, you too?" I groaned again. "Isn't a hyper pixie enough?"

"Well last night we couldn't have the fun I expected because I saw you were all moody when you got here."

"I was not!" I protested sitting up.

"You were, but that's not the point." She said opening the curtains and I hid my face under the covers from the light.

"The point is," Rosalie said pulling in the sheets, "that since you went to bed early we get extra time to look for a killer outfit and get you ready for tonight."

"More time shopping? Great." I said in a sarcastic tone.

"It'll be great! Just the five of us, a lot of shops, a personal driver and an entire morning." Alice chirped pulling me from the bed and out of the room. I guessed that she was taking me to the washroom but something caught my attention.

"What five of us?" I asked turning to her.

"Well, since today Edward is having some time with Lizzy Tanya is coming with us."

Nice, yesterday was my one-on-one with Edward; it was only fair that the other half of the nightmare came today. Who was, coincidentally, his other half.

"Okay, I'll get ready if you stop trying to make me trip." I said as I got into the washroom.

"Good. We'll be waiting for you with breakfast." Rose said and turned towards the kitchen.

"Um, I don't drink coffee, or milk, so juice should be fine." I called out as I walked into the washroom.

Thirty minutes and a burning hot shower later I was sitting in the kitchen laughing with Alice and Rose at the things of their childhood. Angela was meeting us at the mall and Tanya would stop by to pick us up. Apparently Ben would be driving us to and from.

"Guys, won't Ben see what Angela buys then?" I suddenly occurred to me that the point of shopping today was that he couldn't see her purchases.

"Yeah, so?" Rose asked.

"thing is that Ben and Angela have a thing for each other, they're both too shy to say anything, so we were going to get her today a great outfit for the outing tonight." Alice explained.

"Well, we could just hold her bags and he won't know which one is which. No big deal." Rose gave the solution.

"We have to tell Ang that he is coming, though. I wouldn't want to surprise her." I said grabbing the phone.

"Why not?" Alice quipped, "I'll be fun seeing their faces."

"Oh, fine, but if she get's mad, I'm blaming you." I agreed laughing. I didn't think that having Angela mad at Ben being there would be an issue.

"Deal, but if she likes it I get the credit." She said shaking my hand.

"Psh, as if I needed brownie points with her." I said laughing.

"Speaking of which, Alice told me you saved Edward a heart ache by convincing Lizzy to go with him instead of shopping." Rose said, "How did you manage, because the little girl gets what she wants from him. She is not spoiled or misbehaves, but she does get her way more often than not."

"It's not like that always, Rose." Alice interrupted when I was about to answer, "You can't believe everything that Tanya says about her. You've known the girl longer than she has."

"I know, and we won't go over that issue again. But it is true that she's got him wrapped around her little fingers." She said with a smile. "I hope that Emmett loves our baby just as much as Edward loves Lizzy."

"I'm sure he will." I told her. I had seen enough of Emmett to be sure that aside from being a big kid, he had a great heart.

"So finish up, because you never told me exactly what you promised her. I might have to take classes with you, because she gets her way with me too." Alice prompted me.

"I just told her that no matter how little time she had spend shopping with us, she had spent even less time with her dad. That I was sure he had a special surprise for her and maybe if she passed on the chance she won't get to enjoy it." I said dismissingly. "Oh, and I told her that the shops will be there no matter when for us to go shopping some other time."

"Huh, good thinking. I usually just cave and take her with me." Rose said, "I should start practicing, because if my baby has the same Cullen-Masen signature pout I don't think I can say no very easily; and I'm sure that once I get working saying yes will be much more difficult. That I'm not proud of."

Masen? Cullen-Masen? As in a joint last name?

"Who is Masen in the family?" I asked surprised "I only heard of the infamous Hale last name, not Masen?"

"You haven't heard about the last name Masen?" Alice asked surprised. "Then it makes sense that you're so clueless on why Edward despises you so."

"Wow. That was soft as a caress, Alice." I told her slapping her arm playfully.

"What I mean is, that…," the phone rang and she looked at it, "You'd have to hear the entire story. I'll tell you about it later because it'll clear up things for you. Right now we have to leave 'cause Tanya is downstairs waiting for us."

I thought about telling her that we had time now and that she could tell me now, but I knew that being so persistent about it wouldn't get me anywhere. It would only set off alarms in her head. If the knowledge about the Masen kid was something common the archives with information about his parents and what happened to him would be easier to track. What I was doing was wrong in some level. Just the fact that I was being sneaky about it warned me that it couldn't be right. Morally at least. I was not that kind of reporter, I found no pleasure in prying into people's lives and bringing out their little dirty secrets to the public eye, but I was curious. And 'curious me' got more and more excited the harder it became to obtain information. I would have to be patient, and ask for permission before I did anything else about the article in mind.

We got downstairs and I greeted Ben.

"Hey! I thought you'd be with Lizzy today." I said getting into the car while he opened our door. He muttered something that sounded like: 'I wish', but I didn't think I was meant to hear it. Or at least Tanya. She gave all of us a quick double kiss without separating herself from her phone and kept with a tirade of 'Oh my God's!', 'totally's', and 'No way!'. I saw Alice roll her eyes from the front seat and greet Ben. They kept talking about nothing at all and in the back of the car Rose and I just looked out the windows and gave Tanya some privacy.

She finally finished her conversation and turned to Rose. "Guess who that was?" she asked excited.

"Irina?" Rose tried.

"Close, but no. that was Kate. Apparently they will be choosing a few models for Fashion week this year in France and she heard that I'm one of the possible participants. She tried calling you but your phone was off most of the night yesterday and she didn't know if you were awake just yet."

"Yeah, I was pretty tired last night; I turned everything off and enjoyed the calm..."

"Sure you were." Tanya laughed fanning herself. "Anyways, the bad thing is that it coincides with the weekend of the fourth and I know there is this diner Edward and I are expected to be at."

"Oh, I don't think Edward will mind not going alone." Alice said from the front, "he may even not want to go." She added quickly but not as truthful as the first sentence. I covered my mouth to not laugh at her boldness.

"Why wouldn't he?" she asked and I knew what answer she wanted.

"Don't worry, it's not because you are not going. It is because he is not a publicity sponge." Alice replied like it was nothing.

I saw Ben trying to control his laugh but he couldn't.

Tanya huffed and looked out the window while Rose shot Alice a warning glance. "Can we get some peaceful shopping done?" she asked exasperated.

"I can manage that." Tanya said and kept looking outside. Rose looked at Alice but she didn't seem to compromise to anything. I had a feeling that she would not agree to any peace with Tanya, or at least not today.

"I'm going to call Ang to see if she'd there yet." I said pulling out my phone.

"Oh, Bella, how's the job going?" Tanya asked me. Well the least I could do is reciprocate on her small talk.

"It's actually going great. They are still checking on what I do better and what I don't and it's a little bit disconcerting at times, but overall I like it a lot there." I said and then Angela picked up the phone.

"Hey, Bella! Are you guys there yet? I am sorry I am a few minutes away still."

"So are we, don't worry. How is your weekend going so far?" I thought that maybe I should tell her there were more people coming than we actually thought, but I opted to not influence her opinion of Tanya, I guess one of us on the middle ground wagon would be a good idea for today.

"I'm doing great. I've learned to not let the depressed letters get to me; so, my reading yesterday didn't affect my mood today." That was something I hadn't considered. Ang was exposed to people's dramas constantly. If it was me I would go crazy; but not her. She had learned to separate herself from her job even when she was working at home in the weekends.

"You know I do have a lot of great books. Wouldn't you like to have a relaxing reading session instead of a stressing one?" I half joked.

"I have considered it, but what if I get hooked and then I can never do my job?" she asked and I heard the sounds of the bus in the background.

"What route are you taking to get there?" I asked trying to increase my knowledge of the city.

"169A, the good thing about it is that is an Express route so it has about 2 stops from my place to the mall. It gets me here faster than anything else."

"Did you wake up late?" I asked envious.

"Just a little bit. What route are you taking?"

"Actually I'm with Alice and we're driving there."

"She picked you up early, didn't she?" she asked laughing.

"More like she woke me up early. I slept at her place last night." I sighed.

"Nice. I haven't heard of sleepovers since I was in college. What did you guys do?"

"Nothing really. We were too tired to do anything. We had a day of work at my apartment yesterday."

"Oh, you recruited Cullen labour force?" I wasn't sure whether she was interested in the Cullen or the staff of the Cullen.

"Only Cullen." I replied and looked at Ben trying to see of he caught what she was asking or not. He was deep in conversation with Alice so there was no fear. Alice, however, gave me a wink and kept Ben busy. She knew what she was doing. I was hoping that Ang found out Ben was coming too but Alice kept his voice hushed. Damn pixie.

"I'm here, should I wait for you guys at the entrance, or inside a specific store?"

"Let me ask Alice. I know nothing about the place." I tapped Alice and covered the speaker on the phone. "Are we meeting her outside or inside?"

"She's there already? That was fast. Maybe you should take lessons with her, Bella." She laughed.

"Hey, she actually got to sleep in, so maybe I should." I laughed. "But, inside or outside?"

"It's pretty warm outside, so it shouldn't be a problem. We're here!" she said louder and I saw the plaza.

"Nice. Hey Ang, we're meeting you at the entrance, we got here already. We're in a black car." I told her and tried localizing her at the entrance.

"Hmm. You know how many black cars entered the parking lot just this moment?"

"Should I?" I asked.

"Well, no. but a few did. So which one are you?"

"How about we just see you there?" I amended.

"'Kay. See you." And we hung up.

"She doesn't know anything, right?" Alice asked exited as Ben parked the car.

"I don't think so. Unless she recognized the car…" I told her, not sure.

"Who is this Ang?" Tanya asked, "Is she from any agency?"

"Yeah, from the Chicago Tribune." Alice said and got out of the car. "Same as Bella."

"What she meant is that she works with me." I told her trying to pacify things.

"Oh, so she is a reporter, too?"

"No. and neither am I. she is a journalist." I did hate when people generalized things related to the media.

"Same thing." She said waving her hand and getting out of the car.

'_For you maybe.'_ I thought.

I searched for Ang in the masses walking into the mall and saw her looking for us as well. Rose and Tanya followed me since they didn't know what Ang looked like.

"Hey Ang! Over here." I called to her when we got to her.

"Hi Bella." She said giving me a hug.

"Ang, Tanya and Rose." I said motioning to each one of them. They smiled politely to each other and then Alice and Ben arrived.

"Hey Ben!" she greeted him with a hug and I winked at the girls. "I didn't know you were coming." She said and turned to us with a raised eyebrow.

"Hey, don't look at me. It was Alice's idea." I said with my hands in surrender.

"You can thank me later." Alice sang and started walking to the entrance. Angela looked at me with an expression that oozed confusion.

"That's Alice." I told her and grabbed her arm.

"We got away from the people that were coming in and started making plans.

"So, what's the itinerary?" I asked once we were in a circle.

"Designer shops." Tanya ordered and I looked at her like she had three heads.

"I don't think my budget agrees with that. Next." I asked turning to Alice. If she could be patronizing so could I.

"Well, I was thinking along the same route, but if you can't then we can walk around and see what is there." She said sighing. She could not agree with Tanya in anything, and as much as it bothered, designer shops would not make it.

"I still don't get it. It's just an outfit; can't we check the designers and see if we can get a deal?" Tanya pleaded. God forbid her wearing something off the rack.

"Look, it really doesn't fit in my budget either to buy designer for just the one night. And if I wear it today there'll be no way that ill wear it for any other time I go out with them." Angela supported me, "and it isn't like I go out with a lot of other people."

"Well, we have to fix that," Alice said deep in thought, "for now let's see what is there to try." She turned to Ben, "hmm, how about I'll call you when we're almost ready to go. You can enjoy your day, but just keep it under a 30 minute drive."

"That's great; I do have things to catch up on." He said happily but gave a longing glance to Angela. I think no amount of work would make him want to leave, but he had to so that we could get outfits. It was enough that he had heard our rant about pricing.

"'Kay. You can go then." Tanya said, although no one had asked her permission. Alice had dismissed Ben right from under her, and I could see that it made her unhappy that her personal slave had been dismissed without her permission.

"Have fun girls." He said waving us goodbye.

"Huh, you were right, Bella." Alice said linking her arm to mine. "They have a thing for each other."

"Hey! I'm right here!" Angela protested.

"Whatever, lets get this 'shopping' done." Tanya huffed making air quotes. I rolled my eyes and followed them into the fist store that came up: Ann Taylor.

"I haven't decided on wearing a dress or jeans." I told Alice.

"You can never go wrong with a dress." She said walking in, "What are you wearing?" she said to Angela.

"I was thinking of a dress, but not the typical 'little black dress', if you know what I mean."

"Well, where are you guys going?" Rosalie asked. I shrugged and pointed to Angela.

"I think he said something about the Hard Rock Café." Angela answered, "Apparently there is this Canadian group playing, although they aren't into hard rock. That's why I said I'd go."

"Who?" I asked and prayed that it was one of the little groups I knew about. I loved rock, but I didn't know much of bands that weren't main stream.

"I think it's called Simple Plan or something like that." She said dismissively looking up and down a white and black dress that seemed brush stroked.

"Really? I like them!"

"You know them?" she turned to me.

"Yeah, I mean I have heard a few of their songs, and I have some, myself."

"Hum," she nodded and kept looking through the selection. I decided to follow her example if I wanted to get out of here at a reasonable time.

Alice was looking sceptically at everything I touched. Apparently her idea of an outfit involved much less clothing than mine because the time that I actually tried something she told me that I looked like a nun. I tried sneaking into the change room things that I liked, but she always caught me and inspected them. I usually ended up trying only one thing that she would say she 'wasn't feeling it'. Hearing her speak slang wasn't as scary as I thought it'd be.

Finally I gave up and decided to try other store.

I waited for Angela as she finished paying for a purse and then got out.

I realized we hadn't crossed paths with Roe or Tanya since we had entered the store.

"Shouldn't we wait for Rose?" I asked Alice and wisely decided not to include Tanya's name in the sentence.

"Well, they didn't wait for us. So, why should we?" she said and walked into Liz Claiborne, just to come out instantly pushing us out with her

"Wow!" I laughed, "That was fast."

There is nothing that could be worn at a rock concert in there. So, let's not waste time. I still have to beautify you two."

"Should I be worried?" Angela whispered in my ear loud enough for Alice to hear. She rolled her eyes and kept walking to other stores.

We had visited seven, SEVEN stores already. The same thing, over and over again. Alice just kept shutting us down and I was getting frustrated. I almost turned around and left when she said she didn't know how I had not been shoved into a locked in my high school with the kind of outfits that I gravitated to.

Then we went to Tall Girl, for Angela's convenience. Neither Alice nor I had anything to do there only to look up like kids to adults. It was pretty intimidating.

It didn't surprise me that we found Rose and Tanya there. They had about 3 girls running up and down the store looking for things for them. Tanya was on her phone talking and just moved her finger one way or the other whenever the girls brought something to her. If she pointed to Rose, the girl would turn the things to Rose for further questioning; if she waved dismissively the girl would turn back to wherever she was and come back with something else.

Rose was just looking at the things one way or the other. She had a few things by her side divided into two piled. One hers and one Tanya's, I guessed.

Alice sighed at my side and pulled me out of my gaping. Angela was already sorting through things. I didn't want to leave her by herself to shop, but Alice wouldn't let go of my arm. So I just looked apologetically at her and then back at my arm. She laughed a bit and said she was okay. "I'll probably settle for something from here because I don't really want to keep walking. You take advantage of the break." She said winking.

I let Alice drag me toward the very stern looking Rose and Tanya. Even I was intimidated, and they weren't barking orders at me.

"Rose just likes to pretend to be a tough cookie," Alice whispered in my ear.

"Is Tanya pretending, too?" I asked her just as silent.

"No, this is her behaviour for anyone that works for her." She said just before we reached their hearing range.

"Found anything good?" I asked trying to start a conversation that wasn't weather related.

"Kind of…" Rose said while Tanya… well Tanya hadn't acknowledged our presence.

"Well, I want you to change it!" Tanya said louder into her phone and waved away a girl that was just approaching her.

I looked puzzled at Rose and she looked at like saying 'don't ask', so I didn't.

"Why are you guys here? I thought you were thinking designer." I asked her sitting down on her other side. Alice started shuffling through the things that were on the 'maybe' pile and making faces at them.

"Well, I thought it'd be a good idea to make face time." She said tilting her head toward Tanya, "but she isn't making it easy."

"Oh, Bella!" Tanya said in my direction. Apparently she had caught sight of me when sending one of the girls towards Rose, this time she had brought a pair of dress pants. "I picked out a dress that will be perfect on you!" she said and pointed to one of the piles.

Alice's head snapped up and looked at her estranged. She muttered something of which I only caught the phrase 'harpy claws' so I thought better of to ask her what was it.

"Tanya, I don't think anything from this store would fit me." I pointed to my short figure, "midget here."

"You're not a midget, silly!" she said and glanced briefly at Alice. _Oh, no she didn't!_ I looked to Alice but she was not by our side but with Angela a few steps away, and I was glad for it. "You're perfect! You have this whole innocent school girl look going for you." She finished. I didn't know she was complimenting me or making a 'not!' joke.

"Still, the things would be dragging feet behind me." I said pointing at one of the displays with a floor length dress on it.

"Actually this one is a mini. On anyone my height, it would make her look like a skank…" she stood up coming towards me. "But on you it would be the right length. And you have the curves to fill it." She said with a smile poking at my side.

Rose's face lit up and searched through the pile pulling a black dress that had a red ribbon that laced at the back.

"Try it on." Tanya said pointing towards the change room in front of us.

I casted a look at Alice and saw her immersed in a talk with Angela. She seemed to be trying to decide between two outfits and I prayed this would be the last stop for me, too.

"Okay," I said grabbing it and walking into the dressing room.

I took off my clothes and felt my skin shiver with the cold air from the ambience. I would need to get a jacket that matched it for tonight, if I did buy the dress. I tried it on and adjusted it before stepping outside.

"That's the one!" Tanya sang and I tuned to Rose for comments.

"It looks really great on you, Bella. I think some of Edward's coworkers might be trying to be the one unwrapping you tonight." She laughed and I blushed.

"Go show the girls," Tanya said, "I think your friend might have made a decision."

I looked behind me and saw Angela twirling in front of a mirror. She was wearing a tight skirt that flared slightly mid-thigh she hadn't put on a top yet and was deciding between two that Alice held still on their hangers.

"How does this look?" I asked as I reached them.

"Wow! That looks fantastic, Bella. I think you should get it." Angela said looking up and down.

"I know, eh? Who would have thought I'd find something for me here?" I said looking at the mirror and turning to get a better look of my behind, which I must say, looked pretty damn good. I had a smile plastered on my face and turned to Alice.

"Does Alice approve of it?" she was looking like a mother who saw her child walk for the first time, so I guess I wasn't in trouble. I'd have to remember to thank Tanya for it, because I didn't think my non-existent ego could take more 'constructive criticism'.

"I must be rubbing off on you already. You look hot. Make the T's double at the end." She said, making the 'OK' sign with her finger.

"Actually Tanya had picked it out for me." I told her signalling to where they sat and kept looking at my figure in the mirror.

"She… she, what?!" Alice said and I turned to see her outraged expression.

"Well, she said she had picked it out for me because it was too short for someone as tall as them to wear it. And that it should fit me fine." I explained a bit scared because she was turning red, and if we were animated she'd have steam coming out of her ears. It was a funny sight. Funny, but scary.

"I see. So I guess I can leave now, since you don't need someone who IS a personal shopper to help you pick something to SHOP." She said and started stalking towards the door. I stood there dumbstruck looking at her retreating figure and not knowing what to think. Did I say… did I do something wrong? I had to know. Alice was the first person who had been honestly excited about meeting me. I couldn't let her leave mad. It was like that common saying that couples should got to bed mad at each other. I couldn't let her leave mad. So I didn't think. I sprinted running towards her. I crossed the door and the alarm went off. Stupid mini-not-mini-on-me dress. But I couldn't care enough to go back. Somehow, Alice with her short figure manages to walk too freaking fast. And with the noise, and the people calling me, and the people moving around I couldn't see what way to go. So I just ran towards the exit. I knew I had people calling me, and I could hear Rose's voice but it didn't stop me either. Finally I saw her. She was on her cell. Talking while she practically ran for the exit. I shouted her name and she halted to a stop.

"Wait!" I screamed panting. I reached her side and leaned on her to catch my breath.

"Lady, you should return to the store with the merchandise immediately." Some random guy that was, apparently, from the store, said to me and attempted to grab my arm.

I looked at him and then Alice. "Don't leave." I said to her and turned to the guy. "Look, here is my wallet. This is my card. Get the payment for the stupid dress and give it back to my friend over there…" I said gesturing to Angela who was running now towards us but she was wearing her own clothes. I internally groaned when I saw the number of people that had stopped to look at the scene. There was some kind of perimeter that they didn't invade, but they didn't bother to hide the fact that they were ogling.

"Miss, you need to go back for your things and take the security off the dress. It'll set all the alarms of the stores off." He said and tried to make me go back. He was so crazy if he thought I was moving.

"Look, I'll go back and do all that in a second. Right now I need to talk to my friend." I pulled Alice's hand and went outside.

"But, Miss..." the guard started but the sound was cut off by the door closing and the sounds of the street. Alice was still looking at me and I turned to her.

"I don't know of any place near by we can sit and talk, so it's up to you for now." I needed to talk to her. I needed to know why she reacted so badly for something as simple as that. Would she have done the same if Angela or Rose had found the dress?

"There… there is a… a coffee shop near by." She stuttered but made no sign to walk. "What did you just do?" she asked sounding a bit more like her. She looked actually surprised.

"Lead the way," I said and motioned with my hand. People kept glancing at my attire. I saw that I still had the security tag on, that I was wearing sneakers and a club dress at 11am in public. Truly I'd be looking too, if I was in their place. But I wasn't; and it bothered me. I caught sight of the small coffee shop named Good Times and chuckled at the absurdity of it all.

"What was all that about?" I finally asked once we were seated.

"Well, you tell me?" the mad expression from before was back on.

"Alice, I don't get it. It was just a dress. She was just trying to help. Why did you get so mad at something that simple?"

"Well, because first I was the one who was supposed to help you pick a dress, not Miss Bitchy over there. She wasn't even invited to come, to start with." She whined a bit at the end. I lifted an eyebrow at her.

"So?"

"Well, she's always trying to make me look small, and stuff." She sounded now like a teenager, so I treated her like one.

"You aren't jealous, are you?"

"Nooo. Why would I be jealous of that skinny ass skank?" She snapped at me.

"I don't know. That's what I'm trying to figure it out." I said and played with the napkin. Avoiding her eyes. "Because so far she has only been a bitch to you. She hasn't said anything bad to Angela, or me. Just you; and you've replied just as enthusiastically."

"Ok, fine. I'm not jealous. It just bothers me, ok?" she said and leaned back crossing her arms. That ticked me off. That meant she wasn't going to let me change her mind about anything. I still could try.

"What bothers you? That she helped me? Alice, you had been helping me all morning long."

"Yeah, but that's my job. That's what I do. She just had to go there and out do me. Like always. It isn't enough that she has everyone in the family, except Rose and me, fooled with her ill model attitude. She has to also make me feel bad. Don't think I didn't notice the 'midget' comment."

"She made a comment. You have actually told her everything you think straight to her face. She gives as good as she gets."

"You don't get it. That wasn't her helping you. That was her showing me she is better."

"Do you think she is better?"

"Of course not!"

"Then why does it get to you so much."

"Okay, imagine I do to my dad's office and interview him. Wouldn't that bother you? You're the one who is doing the article, why do I have the need to go there and ask him the questions. I am sure there'll be things he'll tell me and not you. But I don't do it, because it would make you feel bad, wouldn't it?"

"I see your point. But I don't think you had to run out of the mall. You could have just told me."

"Well, about that. You see. I have VERY strong emotions. Just ask Jasper."

"So, in other words: you tend to overreact? Is it a Cullen thing? I don't get it." I was glad the topic was lighter now.

"Yeah, you could say that." She smiled a bit.

"So, is that why you're always mad at her? Because she likes to do your job?"

"Not only that. She takes up every second of Edward's time. And treats his employees badly, and is always complaining about the places we stay at. It is always about her. She doesn't care about the rest of the family."

"You know, maybe she wants to belong to the family. That's why she likes to do things you usually do. Maybe she wants to feel like you guys accept her and that's why she is trying to bring attention to her needs." I knew I was BS-ing with that speech, but I couldn't just bitch at her back when I hadn't spoken 3 times to Tanya.

"Right…" Alice said and stood up. "We should get back. I had called Ben already. Let's go deal with the police that should be trying to post WANTED signs with your picture on them and head home. We need to relax a bit before you guys start to get ready, and Rose must be worried."

We headed back and caught some of the people that had been there watching me again. I rolled my eyes and linked arms with Alice again. She smiled up at me and we almost skipped like school girls on a Sunday on the way to the store.

I got there and changed into my own clothes. Tanya was talking to Angela and looked at us briefly. Rosalie came to us and hugged Alice. "Hey," she replied meekly.

"Was she going on about the same 'she wants to be better than me' crap?" Rose asked in a low tone.

"You've heard it before, huh?" I told her walking to the cashier and dropping the worn dress. I didn't know if after what went down today because of it I should still wear it tonight. But I didn't have money to throw out, so I didn't have a choice. At least Ben wasn't here for all the drama. That would have been weird.

Tanya and Angela came over to us when I finished paying. She didn't look at Alice, and Alice did her best to ignore her. I understood, partly, the way Alice saw things; it made me want to know how Tanya saw them. I don't think all the money of the world would be enough to make me want to put up with a family in which I am not wanted. Either her love for Edward was that strong or she had a lot of ea when she got home, because even I had a head ache from all the bickering these two kept up. I also wondered how Rose coped up with it all. I mean she loved Alice and her family, and three people openly expressed their dislike for Tanya. But, I understood things correctly, Tanya was like her sister. It would be different to stay in middle ground, wouldn't it? I decided I better put off my meditations and make sure that Alice and Tanya were as far from each other as possible.

"Wait, we forgot something!" Alice stopped us all.

"What?" I asked checking we had all our bags and purses.

"We didn't get any lingerie for tonight." She said turning around and walking into Rampage.

"Alice, I don't think we forgot it. We just don't need it." I told her and looked at Angela. She nodded her head agreeing with me. Alice pulled us inside and waved off the sales girl that came to help. I slimed apologetically at the poor girl and followed Alice to the back of the store.

"No… no... ew… humm, nope!... no… no." Alice was just passing hangers with lacy lingerie at the speed of light.

"Alice, what are you doing?" I asked leaning on the rack.

"I'm looking for something that matches your dress." She said without stopping her task and went back into a tirade of negative comments on the items.

"You know it's pretty creepy you picking out lingerie like that. Even more when it is not for you, but for me; and the fact that you're engaged doesn't make it look any better." I said laughing. If Carrie was here she'd be saying things like, 'we should go fulfill one of those change room fantasies of yours' as soon as someone neared us. She was crazy like that.

"Hey, no complaining or I'll bring you into Victoria Secret." She threatened.

"What's the difference?" Angela asked from my side. Until now she was just looking around uncomfortable. She was even blushing, which made me chuckle a little.

"Have you ever been in VS?" I asked her.

"No, why? I mean there couldn't be much more than here, I think." She said looking around and ducked her sight back to her feet instantaneously.

"What's wrong?" I asked turning around looking for something that might have embarrassed her.

"There is a couple over there, and he is picking it out for her." She said in a whisper and her eyes were opened very big.

"And…?" I prompted her. Had she never bought lingerie with somebody else?

"People can see them." She said.

"I think they have other things more important to hide…" I told her laughing. We'd have a ball if I told Alice she was a VS virgin; I wouldn't put her through that, though. Well, not today, at least. "But tell me," I played with her a little bit more, "would you want to come here with certain man who happens to work for the brother of my friend?" I said nudging her with my elbow and wiggling my eyebrows suggestively.

"Get real!" she said a blushed a little bit. I understood now the fun involved in making someone else blush. I did deserve to make someone blush, for a change. I wished I could make Alice blush a little bit, but I didn't think I had what it took to be that bold. Maybe if I ever got drunk. Really drunk, I added as I saw her looking at see-through panties and comparing a red set with a black one. I sighed and made my way to where she was.

"I think Ben is here already." I told her trying to get her out of the store.

"He can wait and bond a little bit with Tanya" she said and winked at me.

"Alice, c'mon. It's wrong to make them wait. Even more when he has to wait for us so that he can start his weekend." I tried making her feel bad, but it didn't work.

"Just a minute Bella. The more you speak the less I can concentrate on which will be easier to rip."

My mouth hung open. "Rip? Rip what?" I asked praying I had heard wrong and she hadn't just said that. I was blushing already with the set of mental pictures going through my head. All of them with John, of course. Then I remembered it would never be like that again. I hadn't even thought about giving myself to someone else. I scoffed at the idea. It's true my sex life with John was pretty good, but it took a lot of time and trust to get it there. I couldn't even dance with him without blushing at the beginning. And tonight I would be going out with total strangers. And probably they'll try to get in my pants, if Alice's predictions were right.

"The panties, Bella." She sighed and moved on with the black set, "what have we been talking about since we got here?"

"Alice I don't think anyone will rip them. Not tonight, and if things keep the way they are, for a very long time from now there won't be any ripping of my underwear."

"You never know," she sing sang and kept moving. I thought that if she was dragging me maybe I should share the embarrassment of having someone else pick my undies.

"What about Angela," I said looking at where she stood. She was looking at some bras that weren't as racy as the ones we were by. "I don't think she is very comfortable with the idea of being here, let alone wearing something from here."

"I have the perfect thing for her already," Alice said and I saw another piece folded on her arm, "since I helped pick out her clothes it was much easier for me to find something to match it."

"You're not gonna let me live that down, are you?"

"Nope!" she said lightly and pulled another hanger. "This is it!" she said thrilled and threw the red one over the other things there. I looked at it and blushed,

"Alice, doesn't it come with a whip?" I asked rhetorically

"Would you like one?" she asked her eyes lighting up.

"No, Alice! It was a joke, gosh!" I said blushing and lowered the hand she was holding the charcoal garment with. She help it up again like it was a flag and I looked around to make sure not many people were watching the show. I gave Angela a pleading look and she shrugged and left me on my own. I guess I deserved that.

"You have to try it on." Alice said and started walking past me to the dressing rooms.

The garment, or thing, or whatever you wanted to call the 4 threads holding the two, very small, triangles together; was lacy and had charcoal and black patterns embed on the edges. It looked pretty sexy, but I usually didn't wear that. It's true I had worn thongs before, but they were taken off as soon as I got to bed with John; and I usually hadn't worn it for much time before we got down to it. Maybe a few minutes, tops. I bet that thing would be making me uncomfortable every time I took a breath.

"I don't think so." I said pushing it back down. "I am not going to strip tonight for anybody, so I don't think I deserve to be uncomfortable all night long." I told her putting it back where it was.

"I think you don't want to wear it for fear that you will have someone there to rip it off." She tried reverse psychology with me. I laughed in her face and shook my head.

"Forgive me if I don't want to be raped." I told her and sniggered a bit more.

"Don't worry Bella. The guys from Edward's office are great. Not as good looking as Jasper, but worthy of giving a second look. And they'd never let anything happen to you or Angela."

"I still don't think it'll be necessary." I told her. "c'mon, let's go. We've been here for long enough. And I think the shade of pink will still be on Angela's face when we reach the car."

"Fine, but I'm getting these, I still have all afternoon to convince you to wear it." She said and went straight to the cashier. She was getting them. There was no way I'd be paying for those.

Thirty minutes, and a game of hiding shopping bags from Ben, later we were in the car. Tanya was in the front now and she was practically driving with her mouth. If she gave another comment to Ben about his driving and what to do I think he would open her door and kick her out with the car still in motion. Luckily we were already at Alice's place so I didn't have to witness the crime.

"I'll pick you up here tonight, girls." Ben said waving goodbye and Tanya didn't even bother to look in our direction.

We walked to the elevator while Alice checked to see if she had any messages in the lobby. Her condo was more of a hotel than a condo. I wouldn't be surprised if she actually had someone do her laundry and deliver food to her place.

We got to her apartment and she stopped immediately at the door.

"Hum, I think we need to walk in to get ready, Alice. I am not ready to strip in the hallway." I laughed at her stiff stance at the door.

"There is something off." She said cocking her head to the side looking at the lock.

"What do you mean?" I asked a bit worried.

"I think someone came in the apartment." She said sounding worried.

"Maybe Jasper stopped by." I tried calming her down. I would be freaked out if I found out that someone walked in my place while I was gone. I was too new to know how should my lock look, but Alice seemed to have no problem with hers.

"I can't hear anybody inside," Angela said leaning her ear towards the door.

"Let's walk in and leave the door wide open just in case." I told her and took the key from her hand.

"No, it's okay. I'll open it." She said a bit more decided and opened the door. "Angela, stay at the door. Bella and I will take a look around."

We went into the kitchen and checked the closet there.

Then took a better look at the living room and then went in the direction of her bedroom. I hadn't seen that part of the place so Alice led the way. There was nothing in the washroom or the other walk in closet. Alice stopped her tracks in front of her bedroom door and I looked at her face trying not to make any noise. The door was slightly open and I pushed it open the whole way but didn't enter the room. I looked at her asking for advice. The room looked empty from where we stood.

Alice shrugged and walked in.

"What the hell!" she exclaimed and I jumped. The deafening silence broken by her scream.

"What's wrong Alice?" I asked her looking for the source of her fury.

"What's the date today?" she asked turning to me.

"The eighteen I think…" I trailed off trying to remember anything about the date that may explain any of this mess.

"I swear I'll kill him when I catch him!" she said pacing through the room. At this time Angela was by my side with a question in her eyes. I shrugged and told her I didn't know what was wrong.

"Should I call the police? Do you know who was it?" I asked not sure if we were looking for a burglar still or not because her screams wee anything but shushed.

"Oh, I know him alright!" she exclaimed pulling things out of her closet. The light was off, so I couldn't see very well what were they but there seemed to be a lot of slacks and sweaters. "I should call the police and embarrass him, but if he behaves like a 12 year old I will treat him as one!" she shouted and started kicking things that got in her way.

"What are you talking about?" I asked her.

"EMMETT!" she shouted at me, and I recoiled and took a step back wincing. She had good vocal cords…

"Is that the person who broke in?" Angela asked her.

"He didn't exactly break in," she said a bit calmer now, "he was just doing his part of the family tradition."

"Does tradition implies scaring his sister to death?"

"Yes. Well… not exactly. But surprise is a big part of it." She said sighing and grabbed a big case from her closet and started throwing things in. "hey, can you hit the lights for me?" she asked to me and pointed to my side.

"Sure," the room lit on and I saw a lot of grey on the floor. They looked like sweatpants and t-shirts. "What are you doing with your clothes?" I asked her. Was she moving out or something?

She glared at me and I took a step back. I knew make her mad wouldn't be a good idea since she was going to be torturing me later with makeup, and combs and clothes, but I had no idea what had I said to deserve that glare.

"These. Are. Not. My. Clothes." She said slowly and her voice growing graver.

"Are they your boyfriend's then?" Angela asked. Was Alice kicking Jasper out? I felt uncomfortable in the middle of this scene.

"I would never, ever, let Jasper wear something like this!" she said and picked a sweater with two fingers as if it was a filthy thing. "There is this thing in our family that they do when Edward's birthday comes close. They play jokes and prank each other, but I didn't expect it to start this late, so I thought we'd be safe for this year. But when I get Emmett back he'll wish he had been adopted by any other family and that he wasn't related to me." She said shoving more things into the suitcase forcefully.

"What did he do?" Angela asked me.

"Can't you see? He... he took all my clothes! But he couldn't leave an empty space. Oh no! He filled it with all these horrendous things! Ugh!" she huffed and I had to bit the inside of my cheek, hard, not to laugh.

But then I saw a grin threatening Angela's lips and couldn't hold it in. I started laughing. I clutched my stomach and held on for dear life while I slid to the floor. It was too much.

"Laugh all you want, but just so you know he'll get you next. He probably did while we were away." She said and I stopped immediately. I had no love for clothes, but I did have things I liked. My books. I grimaced and almost ran out the door to my place. "Didn't think about that, did you?" Alice said with a smirk on her face.

"And you felt the need not to tell me about this tradition because…?" I asked her a bit preoccupied. Things like that should be told first hand when you had someone like Emmett living with you. I hadn't been in my apartment since yesterday and that gave him plenty of time.

"How did he get in?" Angela asked Alice.

She sighed, "Everybody has copies of everybody's house in our family."

"But he doesn't have a copy of mine." I told her a bit hopeful.

"Have you seen Emmett's size?" Alice asked, "He'd have no problem kicking down your door and replacing it afterwards."

"He wouldn't!" I almost pleaded her to deny it, but she shrugged and went back to her task. I cursed under my breath and stood up. Half an hour later Alice's closet was empty and she sent Angela to shower in the washroom I had been using the previous night and pushed me into her own bathroom.

"Go, go, go!" she said while I tried taking my time to wash my hair. "Bella, I only allowed so much time to work with you. I have to take care of Angela too!" she said handing me the towel.

"I'd appreciate a little bit of privacy, thank you very much." I said covering my body.

"And what did you mean when you said 'take care of Angela'?" Angela's voice came from behind her drying her short hair.

"I am going to convince you to wear…" she said and moved to where our shopping bags were, "THESE!" she exclaimed lifting a very lingerieish-looking set of bra and panty.

"Good luck with that." Angela laughed a bit and kept drying her hair with towel.

"You underestimate me, my friend." She said and moved towards her with a hairbrush. "Here, brush it while I look for my old hairdryer. Emmett took my new one with the clothes. I don't need to be a psychologist to know he is feeling a bit suicidal lately." She rolled her eyes and walked out of the room.

I laughed and gave props to Emmett. I sat with Angela and started towelling my hair too.

"No! Not like that." Alice screeched and ran to my side. Your hair is messy enough as it is, better use a comb while you do it." she said and handed me one. And I started combing through it. "This will take forever." She sighed, "I better do it."

"Oh, what a sacrifice!" I said sarcastically and let her pull at my hair.

When Angela's hair was dry she gave the hair dryer to me and Alice showed me how to dry it so that she wouldn't need to straighten it later… because she had no flat iron either. I made a mental note to thank Emmett for picking today, out of all days, to prank Alice. She started then convincing Angela to wear it.

"It'll look sooooo good!"

"I don't think it shows with the skirt, Alice."

"But you never know if the skirt might come off…"

"Alice! I don't go to bed with any guy on the first date… And this isn't even a date."

"Oh, c'mon! You cannot say this isn't a date! It is so a date! And it's not your first one, either. You guys flirt every chance you get."

"But no one has admitted it yet…"

"You just did,"

"I meant to each other…"

"Well maybe some sexy undies will give you the courage to be more open about it."

"Or they'll make me remember everything I was told in Sunday church."

"You used to go there?"

"Yes, my family is very religious."

"Didn't they tell you that you had to love yourself in order to love others?"

"Yes, they also told me that I couldn't wear that." She said and pointed toward the reflection of the garment on the mirror. I was laughing quietly at the way they were going back and forth.

"Back then you couldn't, but I'm sure you can now."

"well, but I'll be thinking about 'back then' all night long and I wont be able to enjoy myself."

"I know the guys from Edward's office. I'm sure they'll make you have a ball."

"Alice…" she whined.

"Please, Angela. Doesn't it look pretty? You have a great body." She was starting to pout and I saw Angela's comebacks disappearing.

"Fine, but if I spend the entire night trying to get it to feel like one of mine would, I'm blaming you."

"But if you and Ben go at least to first base, like good old teenagers, I take the credit." She beamed with happiness at having won the argument.

"I should warn you that she won one of those today against me." I told Angela and her face lit up at the prospect of actually progressing with Ben.

"So, Bella, still thinking you wont wear that set I got you?" Alice asked. "I know for a fact that you have no Sunday church excuse."

"No, I don't but you can't call underwear something that doesn't cover what it was made to cover." I started fighting my battle.

Two hours of convincing and a brush thrown at my head later I was sitting on the 'electric chair' with Alice combing my, now straight and dry, hair. I had nicknamed it because it was surrounded by the electrical cords coming from all the lights she had turned on around the dresser since Emmett had unscrewed the light bulbs of her mirror, too. I had no idea what she was going to do to him, but looking at the face she made every time she remember what he'd done I suspected it wouldn't be pretty.

I had finally put on the set she had bought, and I had even blushed when I started looking at it trying to figure it out what part of the fabric was the larger one so that I could decide what to cover with it. It wasn't easy, so I gave up and surrendered to Alice's professional hands.

The phone rang and she answered with one hand and then held it with her shoulder and kept torturing my scalp.

"Hey… no, he isn't here yet... what did he do to you guys? ... Really? Wow! ..." I suspected she was talking to other victim of Emmett's prank and asked her who it was with a look.

"It's Esme," she told me and went back to her conversation.

"Can you tell her I say hi, and please ask her if she knows if Emmett has been to my place?"

Alice waited for a second and then said, "Mom says she isn't sure, but he was targeting the girls today, so she suspects he did."

"Great…" what had I gotten into? I heard Angela laugh being me and I just looked at her. "You're going home with me tonight. I don't want to be alone when I face the disaster."

"He did what?!" Alice exclaimed loudly cutting Angela off. She put a hand on my shoulder and said into the phone, "Hold on one sec, mom. I think we all need to hear this. You're on speaker." She said as she pressed the speaker button.

"Hi Bella!" Esme's voice came from the receiver, "Alice told me you had someone else getting ready there too?"

"Yeah, her name is Angela. She's a friend of mine."

"Hello, Mrs. Cullen." Angela greeted her.

"Hello, Angela. Nice meeting you."

"So, mom, tell them the other jokes Emmett played, I might just let him off the hook for what her did." Alice said laughing.

"Well, to me he didn't do anything too bad. He switched my crystal, cups for plastic ones… he knows how much I hate using those, but if he values his life, he won't pull anything too bad on me; or on his father, for that mater."

"That's not the best thing, though," Alice interrupted, "tell her what he did to Tanya."

"Alice! It wasn't the 'best' thing! Tanya was very upset with him. She had even told him that she wanted no part in the entire game."

"Guess she doesn't want a part in the family, either."

"Emmett said something very close to it, but not everybody is the same. Just because in our family we enjoy it, doesn't mean that everybody else does." Esme scolded her. I saw Alice roll her eyes and controlled the urge of telling on her.

"Fine, fine. Just tell us. I have to get the girls ready,"

"Well, I think he switched her blueberry shower gel for blue body paint. Long story short after she got home this morning from shopping she thought she'd take a relaxing bath and ended up blue."

By her last word I was laughing so hard my eyes started to water. Angela was chuckling but she wasn't laughing out loud like Alice and I.

"I… I'd have… loved to see… that." Alice said in between gasps of air.

"I know! Maybe it'll inspire some weird photo shoot theme, though." I said trying to the good side of the problem and failing. It would only occur to Emmett to mess with something that one used to ear a living with. He should be interned. Then I remembered I had a few things from work at home. If he messed up anything from my job I'd have no option but to kill him.

"Mom? Are you still there?" Alice said once she had calmed down.

"Yeah?"

"What did Edward said about it?" She asked and that interested me.

"Well, he was spending the day with Lizzy, so he only heard about it when she called him on the phone," Esme said laughing a bit. "I haven't spoken to him since then."

"Ooh! I hope he had some Smurf fetish. I'll call them. I want to talk to Lizzy." Alice said and gave no time for Esme to finish saying goodbye before she hung up on her.

She pressed only a key and I guessed she had him on speed dial.

"Hello?" Lizzy's voice came from the machine.

"Hi Lizzy!" Alice and I said at the same time.

"Hi Bella, Aunt Alice! Where are you guys? What are you doing?"

"We're at home, and we're getting Bella and her friend Angela—do you remember her?—we're getting them ready for a party." Alice said.

"Oh, yeah. I remember. Was she the girl that was with me and Ben?"

"'_me' goes last._" I heard a voice instructing in the background.

"Is Mr. Vocabulary there?" Alice asked.

"My dad?" Lizzy asked and we heard ruffling in the background.

"I'd appreciated if you used my name with my daughter, Alice. She won't respect me in a few years if you keep it up." Edward's voice sounded so nice. It was calming, even. I bet he could sweet talk his way into anything. He probably got thousands of random calls a day from people to just hear his voice.

"That's why there are crazy aunts for every girl, Edward. So that they get their dad crazy before they're 40. But you already act like you're 80, so you should be safe."

"I'm scared to ask what does the 'crazy' title entails." He sighed.

"Oh, loosen up! We used to have a lot of 'crazy' fun when we were in high school." She said placing the phone on the dresser and starting to pull my hair again.

"Whatever, what's up?"

"With the call, you mean?" Alice clarified.

"Well, yeah. You never call me anymore. You only call Lizzy when she is here."

"I told you why, already. And it isn't like you call me either."

"What did you want?" he sighed.

"I wanted to talk to Lizzy, but her father took over the conversation." Alice huffed.

"Fine, here she is."

"Hi again!" Lizzy said once she had the phone.

"Hey, I have a quick question, what did you think of Tanya's new tan?"

"Hmm…" she didn't answer.

"Is she near by?" Alice caught up.

"Yeah."

"Tell me if you liked it."

"It looks better than before."

"Did you have something to do with it?"

"Yes." She answered curtly. This was getting better and better. I had to give credit to Lizzy.

"How? The same way you told him where to buy the ugliest sweats he could find?!" Alice said raising her tone a bit but not quite screaming.

"Maybe…" Lizzy said slowly.

"You know we'll get back at both of you, right?"

"But… but it was fun!" she whined.

"Yeah? Well, I guess we'll have some fun too."

"Auntie! Please?" I could hear her pout in her tone.

"You should have thought about that before you did nothing. You're in trouble, Elizabeth Masen Cullen!"

That brought me back from my laughter. Masen. Lizzy was the Masen kid? That wasn't possible; it was so many years ago that she could be the daugh-… Edward… it dawned on me then. Edward could be very well the Masen kid. How old was he anyways? 29? 28? That fit perfectly with the time lapse. I could hear Alice still threatening Lizzy to get even, but the greater part of my concentration was placed on what I now knew. I still had to ask Alice. It was a good thing I didn't have to ask doctors at the hospital for the information. It just caught up with me, and it seemed to be common knowledge, I was just following the trail that led to nothing. There was nothing hiding. Why, then, it took so much energy to find the simplest things in the archives?

"Ok, ok I'll tell her." Alice said and nudged my shoulder. I gave up the pointless investigation for now and paid attention to my surroundings. "Lizzy said she is going to pick you up from work, and you, Edward and she are going to the Zoo."

"Tell her that it'll have to be after 5PM. I have some deadlines to meet."

"You heard that?" Alice told her.

"Who died?" Lizzy asked.

"No one!" I laughed, "Just make sure the trip is after 5, and ask your dad what are deadlines."

"Ok, I have to go eat now. Bye!" she said suddenly.

"Bye!" Alice and I said at the same time. She started laughing again but I had no idea why.

"Can you believe that girl? She helped Emmett! I bet she was the one that encouraged Tanya to even go shopping so early in the morning."

Angela laughed heartedly and I looked at her. She was pretty much ready now. And I had to admit she looked amazing. I told her so and she shrugged a bit. "I'm serious! You look really good. I think Ben is going to get an early Christmas." She blushed a bit and I laughed. Yeah, making people blush was definitely fun.

"I am sure he'll say a prayer once the dress is off." Alice laughed pulling more of my hair.

"Alice can I stand up and walk a bit?" I asked, "I can feel the design of the lace embed on my behind. If you know what I mean."

"Oh, just wait a little longer. I'm almost done. If you'd quit squirming I'd get done faster." So I shut up and tried to think of something to say.

"Hey, Alice?" I asked cautious.

"Yeah?"

"Is Edward's last name Cullen?" I asked in a small voice. I didn't know whether she'd answer or not. It wasn't her choice to let me know about him. She looked at me startled and then sighed and went back to her combing.

"This is taking awfully long without all my instruments." She said sighing. I guess she was debating whether she should tell me or not. I would give her time. I was prying and I knew it…

She looked down at my face and then back at Angela. She raised an eyebrow and asked Angela, "Hey, Ang? How long have you known Edward?"

"Hmmm, you mean personally or just… you know… I knew he existed."

"How long have you known there was a man named Edward Masen Cullen?" She asked turning to her and leaving my head at peace, for which I was grateful.

"I guess since I started studying psychology. I had to read a lot the newspapers and keep myself informed. So, I guess right after high school. Why?"

"Apparently Bella here, had never known about him." She said turning back to my and snapping my hands that had been massaging my scalp.

"So, his last name is Masen." I concluded.

"It is. That is why he is not very fond of you. He was practically harassed as a child by the media. He was the only heir of his parents and grandparents from both sides. Who had been quite wealthy." She finally told me, "we all thought you knew why he behaved the way he did. I guess it's a good thing I told you; otherwise you would have gone insane. He doesn't talk about his past much. He barely mentions his parents or their relationship. Although I don't think he can remember much."

"That's true. The mind tends to suppress painful memories. A way of self-preservation, you may call it. You may not remember it as clear as your other memories, but it is always hidden somewhere in the back. You can actually work on regaining those memories. The process takes a lot of sessions, but is used a lot with witnesses that have gone into shock." Angela told us twirling a bit more in front of the mirror.

"Good thing we have a specialist in the group, huh?" I laughed a bit trying to lighten the mood.

"Oh, hush. I won't give you any support when you come to me again, terrorized about being fired."

"Hey! That was a private conversation!" I protested.

"Who could have thought you'd get scared that easily. Here I had you as this powerful super-woman that could get away with saying no to me." Alice laughed enjoying my discomfort. "You're ready." She told me then and I looked at the mirror.

"Oh, my God, Alice! Do you have any magic dust I don't know about?" I was speechless. I looked like I had stepped out of the cover of Vanity Fair. The make-up wasn't slutty, but it was sexy. It wasn't glamorous, but it was very modern. My usually 'too-pouty' lips looked perfect and I almost touched them to make sure they were my own. My eyes, usually dull brown, sparkled back at me and were framed by my very own set of long and flirty lashes.

"I will use Carrie's words: I think I could take myself home if no one else did." I laughed and turned to her.

"You look amazing Bella. I think Ben will want an exchange of presents after all." Angela said. At that Alice and I looked at each other and started laughing.

"Angela, I think Ben would still melt at your feet even if I, and the rest of the women of the world, were prancing around naked and you'd joined a Tibetan monastery." I said in between chuckles.

"Ok, girls, Ben will be here any minute now. Get to the living room and I'll give you tonight's instructions." Alice said putting everything in the drawers and she couldn't hide the look of rage once she looked at the content of her drawers.

"He took everything, didn't he?" I basked amused.

"Yes, but he will pay tenfold for every thread of my clothes he dared to touch." She said with a gleam in her eyes.

As we sat in the living room Alice sat in the armchair in front of us like a parent stating the rules for the first night out of her daughters.

"Ok, so, here is the deal. Bella, I know there is this guy in the office named Ethan, and I just know you'll like him. However, if Ben gives you the scoop on him better than I, I think you'll be afraid of breathing the same air he does. On the other hand, he is a great dancer and a lot of fun. And even when he drinks he is not that out of control. So, have fun!" she turned to Angela leaving me with my jaw on the floor. "You know who your target is tonight. And if you chicken out once again I think I'll go myself and make you play with him a game of truth or dare. No matter how childish it may sound." At that moment the buzzer rang and I was glad it did. I was afraid what other orders may come out of Alice's mouth. I stood up to open and she stopped me. "Wait; let's make him nervous a little bit. We need a wow factor. I'll go first and then Bella. Angela you're last."

"Alice, he is just picking us up. We're not walking down the aisle," I told her and kept moving. An arm yanked me back and I found myself seated on the couch again.

"What did I just say?" She asked me and sat down looking at her watch. There were three more buzzes before she decided it was time to put him out of his misery. "Hello?" she said into the receiver.

"Alice?" Ben's voice came and I saw Angela give a little smile. "Is Angela ready yet? … and Bella." He added as an afterthought. I gave Ang a knowing glance and she smiled wider.

"Yeah, come right up. I need to ask you a few questions." Alice said and turned the TV to channel 59. On the screen there was Ben's face and we could see he was surprised by her request.

"I'll be right up." He said and then moved to the door that was now opening.

"It'd be pretty cool to have the camera in my building too." I said then, "I could know who it is before I give myself away."

"Is there something you want to hide?" Alice asked me while moving towards the door.

"Not really, I think it'd be convenient to hide from your wrath, though." I said and laughed.

"That would not be funny to you if you had actually suffered my wrath." She replied and I knew she was right.

Alice opened the door and stood in front of it. "Hi Ben!"

"Hey, are the girls ready?" He said trying to look past her. How the 4 ft pixie managed to become an obstacle to his 5' 11'' figure was a mystery to me...

"Almost, I just wanted to ask you what were the plans, and how are they getting home?"

"I think I'll drop them off, unless they chose someone else to do it. We're going to the Hard Rock café."

"Really? I love it there. Is anyone good playing?" she stalled.

"Yeah, umm this Canadian group we like. Alice we're kind of late, they're waiting outside the café for us."

"Oh, Ok. Bella, Angela!" she called to us. Ang was on her feet and running to the door. I yanked her back and started walking faster than she did, or this wouldn't work.

"Hi Ben!" I said as I got to the door. He was dressed all in black. Apparently that was the colour for the evening since we were going to a rock concert.

He was going to say hi back to me but his eyes fell on something behind my back and I knew who it was.

"Hey Angela! How are you?" he said in a tone that brought me back to high school when the voice of the boys was changing. "You look incredible…"

Alice cleared her throat and he snapped out of it. "You look great too, Bella."

"Thanks, let's go now. I don't like people waiting for us."

"You're right on time. Don't worry." Alice said.

"Actually we're kind of late." Ben told her.

"Right on time to be fashionably late." She rolled her eyes and hushed us out the door. I pulled us towards the elevator and waved goodbye to her.

"Don't stay up late." I told her with a chuckle. The doors opened and there was Jasper with something wrapped in purple and looking anxious. "Hi Jasper. We're just leaving."

"Oh! Ok, you guys have fun." He said going towards the apartment door.

"Will do." And the doors closed. I tried not to pay attention to Ben and Angela because they were giving each other goo-goo eyes. I was going to have to drive or else we wouldn't make it to the concert in one piece.

Apparently they stopped their looks for long enough in streets lights to make it there alive, because we were at the plaza in mere minutes. Alice lived pretty close to it.

We got out and started walking towards a group of people our age also dressed in black that were standing by a car. As we neared them they waved out way and I looked to see Angela and Ben still in their own bubble. I better get to find my own ride home or else I might just camp out here until my office opens tomorrow morning.

"Hey, everyone!" Ben said when we reached them. "You all know Angela already…" someone murmured something that sounded like 'you won't let us forget'. "And this is Bella." He finished. I gave a small wave and then they introduced themselves.

"I'm Amrusha." A small girl said first and I shook her hand. "Bella."

"I'm Victoria, this is Laurent and Ethan." A tall redhead said and motioned to a very good looking blonde guy. 'Ethan' that name sounded familiar. Laurent pretty much ignored me with a nod but Ethan kept his gaze locked with mine. Yeas, he was the one with the 'BEWARE' sign on his head. I almost forgot half of the names as soon as they were spoken, but I got them eventually. The couples were Jack and Jolene, and Tricia and Connor. I guessed that Victoria was dating either Ethan or Laurent, and Ben and Angela were about to turn around and go back the one or the other's place. We entered the crowded room and looked for somewhere to sit while the boys went and got us drinks. I didn't want to have hangover the next morning so I settled for tonic water.

Ethan brought my drink back and I saw Victoria nuzzling Laurent's neck so I started talking to Amrusha and Ethan. Chances were those two were dating as well.

We talked about our jobs; about how excited they were their boss was taking some time off. I even got a few anecdotes from times they had to babysit Lizzy. The girl was trouble. They even ranted about Tanya a little bit once they realized I knew all of the family members. I found out she was dating some guy named Dustin and they had just moved in together.

"Yo! Where's Dustin?" Ethan asked Amrusha.

"Agh! Don't remind me…"

"Fight again?" he smirked, "you need someone who can cope with your brain. The poor guy is in constant alarm trying to impress you, and you can do his job three times faster than he can. I don't blame him." Apparently she was some kind of computer networking and programming genius, and Dustin was an accountant for some marketing company.

"Well, I don't ask him to impress me. I'm just fine with our routine." She replied and sipped her drink.

"Can't blame the guy for trying." Ethan murmured.

"I wouldn't mind him trying if he didn't look stupid while at it."

"Wow! That sounds like true love." I said sarcastically.

"As strange as it may sound, I am pretty sure they love each other. I mean I've been around since they met at this party and she threw up all over him the first night. If that isn't love I don't know what is."

"Is love then enduring the worst things for another person?" I asked more interested in the turn of the conversation.

"Not exactly enduring. It's more like willing to do anything for the other person, I think." Amrusha said, "Like no matter how embarrassing he can be whenever he is trying to be romantic, I would never walk away. Can't be done."

I started thinking back at my relationship with John. I was convinced we didn't love each other like those two did, but because of such a long history together we were pretty close. I walked away. That right there proved it wasn't love. Didn't it? I missed the comfort of having him there for me. The feeling of family that always surrounded us, even when we fought, everything about us was so comfortable, so… so 'us'. I had no other way to describe it, nothing else to compare it to.

"Earth to Bella!" Ethan was squeezing my knee. Somehow I had distracted myself with my own thoughts while they still talked about the downside of love. I looked at his hand and raised an eyebrow at him. He didn't make any comment, but didn't remove his hand either. He was drawing slow circles with his thumb on the inside of my leg, and we were seating slightly closer than we did when we first sat.

"Hey, it's time to head in!" Jack called us and we started moving with the mass of bodies dressed in black. I surprised myself with that I had actually heard the group. Not only that, I also had a few songs of theirs in my iPod and I liked them a lot. We were pushed one way and the other by desperate fans trying to get to the front row. We decided to give up on defending our position and let them be. The concert lasted forever. I lost my voice on the 10th song and twisted my ankle on the 11th. Yes, I had a few trips during the night, but no one noticed. Or at least they seemed not to. We started to head back to the entrance because it was pretty late and I was already in pain and dreading work tomorrow.

"That was good!" Angela said with a huge smile on her face, "I don't think I've screamed this much ever." I saw that hers and Ben's hands were intertwined and decided not to comment and just let it evolve by itself.

"I think I'm going to go home." Amrusha sighed. "I'm the what? Ninth wheel? Wow! This sucks."

"And that is a pro of not fighting over stupid shit with your boyfriend; you don't get to be a 'wheel'." Ethan said with a grin.

"You know what, I feel the same," I said, "I think I better get home. You guys are on vacation, but I'm not." I didn't say anything about Angela because she deserved some fun.

"Sure, let's go get the car," Ben said immediately. Shoot I didn't think that through.

"Maybe Amrusha can give me a lift." I said to him trying to stop his moving form.

"I'm Amrusha's lift," Ethan said with a grin. That worked, too. Player or not I hadn't stopped laughing the entire time. We he gorgeous, smart, funny, and although he may be a bit of a dick with women, he said he wasn't into two-timing. That earned him big bonus brownie points. If you want to be with someone more than with someone else, don't you owe the person you're with to be truthful?

"You wouldn't mind, right?" I asked him.

"Not at all. Then I'd be able to say: 'I know where you live'." He said with a wink and I had to laugh at his silliness.

"Ok, then it's settled then. We're gonna go now. Thanks for everything. Nice meeting you guys!" I said as we headed out. I was limping a little bit and Ethan helped me into the front seat. "Won't Amrusha want shotgun?" I asked him once my seatbelt was fastened.

"Nope, you'll see." He then went and opened the back seat's door and motioned for Amrusha to get in.

"Oh, my beloved semi-couch." She half sighed and actually laid down on it. He then took out a pillow from under the seat and gave it to her.

"Happens every time." He said and shut the door. Within seconds you could hear her soft snoring.

"That was fast; did someone put something in her drink?" I asked a bit surprised.

"No, she eventually comes down from her high from the music. She dances and screams and lets everything out. At the end of the night there is only a mellow version of her and she dozes right off." He said heading to the exit of the parking lot. She doesn't live far away. Actually she lives in the same building as Mr. Cullen; I was surprised you haven't met her before."

"Lizzy's dad and I are not very close." I said and decided not to give too many details.

"That's strange. He is not very fond of letting people he doesn't know around his daughter. There is a reason Ben is who looks after her, they've known each other since they were kids."

"Yeah, he is not very fond of the media either."

"Ah, that's true. And your working for the paper doesn't help your case either. How come you're so close to Elizabeth, then?"

"I met her in the plane, just like I met Ben." I explained.

"hum." He leaned his head forward trying to see something in the sky, but I knew nothing was there. He was only stalling. We parked in front of a huge sky scrapper and he took out his phone. The conversation was short but I knew it was Dustin he was talking to and that he was in his way to pick up the sleeping form of Amrusha. We made small talk and I gave him my e-mail and phone number when he asked. I wasn't exactly attracted to him, but he was very fun to hang out with, and I had to expand my group of friends from the Cullen 'charity' union. However, everyone I met was somehow related to them. Sigh.

Minutes later there was a knock on the window and I jumped. I had been laughing at this story he was saying from where he was in University. He had given his teacher his USB flash drive to hand in his project and when he opened the drive there was a file folder that read 'School Work', but it was a disguise for where he saved his porn. Long story short he didn't have time to stop the teacher before he had double clicked it and a bunch of thumbnails of naked women flashed on the screen. I was almost rolling with laughter now and the noise brought me up short. The laugher he let out woke up Amrusha and she looked around distracted while her boyfriend Dustin was still outside looking at our mute laughter from the other side of the door.

"We better let him in on it. He's gonna be upset." I told him once I had calmed down some more.

"Nah! It's okay." We waved goodbye to the couple and took off. "So, where to?"

"I live a bit more to the north. It'll be faster if you take the highway there." I told him, and added, "It's a bit off from your route, I think."

"Where is it?" he asked turning towards the lake and the highway.

"Dover St. North."

"You're right. It's a bit off. But we have time." We passed by a bar that wasn't too loud considering it was the weekend still. "Care for a drink?" he asked slowing down.

"Why not" I thought out loud. I had a safe ride home, it was the end of the night and I was looking forward to more laughs that weren't directed at my clumsiness.

"How's the ankle doing?" he asked opening my door.

"It's better," I said putting some weight on it.

"You know the first time I sprained an ankle it was the last day of school in Junior High?" he asked me.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, and the worst thing was it wasn't something cool like a sports related injury. It was more like me rolling down the stairs hiding from the hall monitor." He said helping me by my elbow. I gave him a thankful glance and laughed at his joke. "Spent half of the summer sitting in bed with my leg elevated. My brothers hid my crutches so I couldn't play anything or try and chase them away. It was torture, I tell you."

I laughed some more and he took us to a booth in the back.

"What would you like to drink?" he asked me.

"Whatever you're having. You can't drive drunk and I don't want a headache tomorrow morning."

"Sounds good to me. Be right back." He left and I looked around. The place was quiet. There wasn't any TV on with a game or guys shouting for their team. I liked it there. I caught a waitress looking at me funny and turned my head away. Next thing I saw was a glass set in front of my eyes.

"Newcastle. You like?" he asked.

"sure." I told him and sipped a bit of it. It was cold and the gas tickled my throat as I swallowed. I took the salt and shook a bit of it into the glass.

"What are you doing?" he asked me, looking amused at my actions.

"It's a bit too bitter, sorry."

"You don't do that to beer! Even more Newcastle! That's just wrong." he said and took the salt of my hand.

"Hey! I didn't comment on your choice of beer; now don't comment on how I take it." I said giggling a bit and reached for the salt.

"As if you could. Newcastle is the best thing you could drink from here." He said putting the salt on the next table away from my reach.

"Whatever," I said and sipped some more.

We talked about our childhood, about what he liked about Chicago and what I should visit first.

"Tell that to Alice and Li—Elizabeth," I caught myself. "They have planned what I'll do every day of the week."

"I think I can try and steal you away for more of the Chicago Experience. You can't live like a tourist the whole time you live here."

And like that we had set a first date. I didn't consider this a first date, but it was pretty close to it. He was clearly interested, and he was growing on me. I could definitely give it a try.

We talked some more and nearing 2AM we left for good. As he took the highway I had to wonder if they all went to the same driving school. Apparently speed limits were something they looked at as a guide, not a restriction. I was clawing at my seat like a mad woman.

"Are you sure you're not drunk?" I asked him, "the first things they check are fast drivers, then the ones with non-constant speed, or that are driving with the windows down. You should at least try and act sober."

"You're too funny, Bella," he laughed, "don't worry. We'll be fine."

I gave him directions to get to my street and he seemed to know the area. He had probably been with someone that lived near by. Or he was just really good with Chicago maps and I was being unfair with him… either way, he had no problem getting there. He parked in the back of the building and got out to open the door.

"I won't offer you another drink because I was scared enough as it was." I told him honestly, "and besides, look what time it is."

"I know. I'll call you or e-mail you tomorrow, though." He said giving me a parting hug. I was glad he didn't try to kiss me. I don't think I was that much into him yet.

I went up the building and feared what I might find in my apartment. Chances were Emmett had been in. I didn't know how he could have gotten in, but based on what Alice and Esme said he would find a way.

I opened the door and breathed in. I missed this quiet place. As I did nothing caught my eye. Nothing was out of place. I went straight for my computer and while I waited for it to turn on I checked all my books and everything else was in place. The rooms were a bit cold because we had left the windows all open for the smell to leave and fresh air come in. I decided that I was the lucky one and went to the computer to finish checking that all my work was still in place. It was so I turned it off without even checking my e-mail. I was going to have about 3 hours of sleep max, because I still had no curtains and the sunlight would wake me up soon. I lied down on my bed and thought back at the past two days. All the things I found out about and the ones that I created.

I thought back to Tanya and how I could see that Alice was a bit jealous of her and that's why they hated each other. I thought back at Edward and his reasons to hate me. Which I still found unfair, and I thought about Ethan. I was actually looking forward to having some fun for as little time as he gave his newest conquest.

I couldn't believe that I was conformed by so little in my life. Yet I couldn't deny I wouldn't trade it for my past.

* * *

I am aware i have spoiled you guys for good. now, i havent asked for thoughts in the past two chapters... or ever, i think. nevertheless tomorrow is my birthday andi want to be spoiled for once. I WANT REVIEWS!!! because no one has done so in a long time.

also i have a new poll. please, please, please. just go there for like 3 seconds and pick one.

i love you all

and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

~Elina H


	16. Chapter 16

AN: ok, so. this chapter is a bit (a lot) smalled than the previous ones. but is just a filler. i have introduced most people already so it's ready to just get on with it.

* * *

Chapter 16:

I woke up too early again. I made my way to work and—surprise, surprise!—I tripped. I actually managed to fall before 8AM. It felt oddly similar to high school; and just like back then, no one noticed or offered to help me up. I picked up what was left of my pride and got into the bus I was running for. At least the driver was kind enough to wait with the door open until I got off the floor. Way to start the day.

It was 9AM and I was already at work. To say that I was excited to know about the poem response would be an understatement. There were a couple people typing away and I had made small talk with them already. I was so bored I decided to check my e-mail and see if anyone had remembered my existence. No such luck. I gave a small SOS to Jacob and started planning my interview for today. I'd be talking to another of the doctors of the small girl. I was sure they should have named her by now, but somehow I had the feeling they wouldn't be telling me what it was.

Angela hadn't showed up by the time Tyler came in, and I was 99% sure that things had gone pretty well last night with Ben. I would make sure not to give any details to Alice or she would track them down wherever they were hiding.

"Bella, can you come into my office for a sec?" Tyler called and I almost fell flat on my face when I tripped with someone's legs. I apologized gathering my limbs and finished my flight to the office.

"How did the poem go?" I asked in a rush.

"I'm fine, thanks!" he replied cheerfully. I realized my mistake.

"Sorry Tyler, I'm really anxious. So, just tell me?"

"Maybe I should make you wait." He said fingering a sheet of paper and I almost ripped it out of his hands.

When I looked at the paper it was blank and I glared back at him. "Ha ha, funny." I told him with a roll of my eyes.

"It's yours." He said simply and I thought I heard wrong.

"Is mine? Is it really?"

"Yeah, all yours. Now get out before you burst inside my office and I don't feel like cleaning it up."

"Thank you, thank you thank you!" I said and almost hugged him. This was something I was certain I'd be good at. It wasn't much, but since the 'green article' my self-esteem had been pretty sickening 'green'.

"Yeah, thank _you_," he emphasised. He really didn't like the poem choosing task. "You can get this week's letters in the mailroom. Tell Jenna you'll be taking over it from now on. Also, these are the name of the doctors you'll be interviewing today." With that he dismissed me and I got back to work on the interview. The little bug of curiosity bit me again and I decided to do a little more background check on Edward's life.

I opened my email and went into the draft folder where I had saved the links. I clicked on one of them and waited for it to open. It was taking for ever, and knowing I was snooping around made me self-conscious to the point that I started taping my fingers on the desk and looking around guiltily.

The page finally started charging and I leaned closer to the monitor with my hand on the mouse ready to minimize it.

"Hi Bella!" Angela's unusual chipper voice startled me and I jumped on my seat. "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." She giggled.

Wait, Angela giggled? I needed details.

"Hello Miss 'I-get-to-wok-at-10AM'" I told her winking.

"Shush! I was here! Just in the mail room." She said in a forcing tone, and I caught on.

"Oh, right. Wanna show me where it is? I need to get some letters." I told her and gave her the 'lets talk now' look.

"Sure!" she said excited and we left the office.

"So, tell me, what happened last night?" I asked her.

"Oh my god! I think I have an ever bigger crush on him. We stayed talking over some drinks at the café and then went for a walk downtown. We went into this little convenience store and he bought me this candy I liked ever since high school and then we walked some more. We have so much in common! And then he took me home and he asked me to the Zoo this week!"

"Umm, Angela… then why were you late this morning? I thought you guys had hooked up. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I would sleep with anyone right on the first date, but you guys have known each other for how long now? I thought you already knew you had a lot of things in common."

"I knew that, but I rarely spoke to him when we went out with the people from the office. They're always discussing things that they all know about and I don't talk much. But last night we talked a lot."  
"I noticed you guys were joined at the hip all night long. Which still doesn't answer why you were late this morning?"

"Oh!" and then she blushed, this should be good, "I was kind of daydreaming and I missed my stop."

"That's it?" I asked her.

"Umm… yeah…"

"You know Alice will want more details than that, right?"

"I guess I'll hide until I have something that she'd like to hear."

"Good plan." I told her and we kept walking to the mail room. There weren't many letters for this week. That would make my task easier, or harder if there wasn't anything that would catch my attention instantly. I was actually hopping D3BU551 would write again, but I wasn't so sure it would be wise to pick his poem again. If the guy was that insistent, with that kind of talent, he should be pursuing a publisher not a newspaper.

I browsed through the age groups briefly and separated them in order. Then I left them aside for when I got back from the interview. I went back to my computer and saw the minimized window. I clicked on it and saw a different webpage than the one I was looking for.

_**The article link that you requested is not valid**_

I read the sentence again and still couldn't understand it. I refreshed the page. Nothing. The text showed up again mocking me. I copied and pasted the address again. Nothing… and I couldn't even remember the name of the article. Had I copied the link wrong? I was 99% sure I hadn't. I had copied and pasted it from the browser. There was no way that it would have happened. Not when the end of the link said the .html domain; and I couldn't have just omitted a random letter in the entire address. I looked into History. There had to be the right link. I browsed throughout the past history until I found the group of links from my search last week. I clicked on each of them. Several opened, but 2 of them didn't. Apparently, the article… had been moved? I doubted they would just erase from the archives something that they had cared to save on the first place. That would be dumb. But there wasn't anything else by that name. The article had, in fact, been eliminated. Since I had no excuse to be browsing through it I couldn't ask anyone either. I'd have to go to a library and make my homework from actually writing pieces. But I was sure there were articles that they didn't publish in newspapers. Breaking news rarely made it for the day's emission. And if they weren't of great importance they wouldn't even make it to the side notes of the paper. My options would be severely limited in a public library.

On the other side. I knew Edward Masen. I could ask him directly what it was like being him. I was afraid that would earn me some shouting, though. I sighed and closed the browser. I knew the identity of the Masen kid now, I knew he hated the media because it had been hard for him and I knew he hated me, too. What else did I need? Why did I still want to know more about him? What was wrong with me?

I would be visiting the Zoo with them this week. The chance that we would 'coincidentally' bump with Ben and Angela made me laugh. Apparently Ben didn't really get a vacation. Edward still needed someone to look after Lizzy the two seconds he wouldn't. He probably will get Ben to check I don't have any weapons or camera with me. Although, on my behalf, if I wanted to take personal pictures as memories, I didn't think he had the right to stop me.

I gathered my things and headed out to meet Dr. Martinez. Huh? Weird. I could have sworn Tyler told me I would be meeting with two doctors today. I couldn't write any good questions because I knew nothing about him/her. I didn't even know if they were working in the case of the baby girl.

I kept thinking about how her life would turn out now. What would happen to her? I had spoken to Carlisle about that topic, but it was in general. We never discussed her case exactly.

I wished Dr. Martinez would be a woman. I had Esme's and Alice's opinions but I wanted a doctor's point of view of the situation.

I entered the hospital and went once again to the 19th floor. I asked the receptionist where I could find Dr. Martinez.

"Which one?" she asked sounding bored. _Beats me_, I thought.

"Umm… I don't know. I'm Isabella Swan. Dr. Martinez is meeting me today." I explained. She checked her list and the turned to me.

"Dr. Carmen Martinez is meeting you in room 1902."

"How can I get there?" I asked her feeling just a bit annoyed at her irresponsiveness.

"Turn to the right on the next hallway. It's the 5th or 6th door."

"Thanks." I said already walking away.

I checked the numbers on the doors and knocked on the right one. The door opened and a woman a few years older than me opened.

"You must be Isabella, I'm Carmen." She said shaking my hand.

"Hi, nice to meet you."

"Please, come in." she invited me. Her office had more colours than Carlisle's. It even looked a bit like a tropical island.

"It looks really nice." I complimented her, "yeah, I need some uplifting after my job."

I nodded like I knew what she did but she caught me. "You have no idea what is it exactly what I do, do you?" she laughed.

"Well, my editor told me I was meeting Dr. Martinez. I didn't even know if you were a man or a woman."

"Actually you're meeting both." She said and I didn't know what to think. "You're also meeting my husband, Eleazar."

"Oh, he must be the other Dr. Martinez the receptionist said."

"That's him. Do you want to wait for him to start or do you want to get some questions done in the mean time." She asked me. She was very accommodating and that put me at ease. She was very warm with her face expressions.

"It'd be good if I actually knew what is it that you do, I have nothing without it."

"I work in the newborn dep. I specialize on premature babies."

"Oh, wow! I now get why the need for the uplifting colours. You have work when something goes wrong…"

"Yeah, depressing… but if you're in a hospital there is something wrong with you 99% of the time." She said with a sad tone.

"That's true. Why did you become a doctor?"

"That's the oldest question isn't it?" she laughed, "I guess because in the city where I lived there weren't many doctors, it is an awfully expensive career to study. Once I had the chance to do it in America, I wouldn't let it pass. I figured that I could not solve the problem, but at least I could try to make it better. Whenever I go back to visit my family I work more there than I do here, however seeing what big difference it makes, I don't feel half as tired as I do here."

"I get it that you haven't treated only newborns there."

"I have even treated animals without even being a vet. It's good practice to venture in things that I don't practice everyday. I try not to deal with very urgent or dangerous cases, but from the basic training that you get in the first and second year, by the time you start working, you don't remember much aside from what you specialize in."

"What about your work here? What motivates you to come and face pain everyday?"

"It'd sound selfish if I said that is the fact that I don't have to do it alone. I know Eleazar is with me every step of the way…" I hurried to try and get details about her expression in writing. There were things a recording couldn't make you feel, "… also my daughter. You see we were never able to have one of our own. Milagros' mother left her here just like Sonya's did."

"Who is Milagros? And why did you name your daughter miracle? Would it be okay to talk about her?" I was now talking to a mother of an abandoned child, not only a doctor.

"Well, she was doing very badly when she was born. It was a miracle that we saved her life. In my language Milagros is a very common name."

"How long ago was that?"

"She is nine years old now."

"Does she know about her origins?"

"We look nothing alike, as you can see," she said motioning to a picture of a very blond girl with her and who I presumed was Dr. Martinez, Eleazar that is… "and we thought that it'd hurt less if she knew than if one day she found out that her mother and father had abandoned and the people she thought her family had lied to her all her life…"

"Yes, that would be much worse…" I agreed.

There was a knock on the door and a tan man walked in. "Sorry I'm late." He apologized and I stood up to shake his hand. "Patients are not very patient…" he joked.

"That's not a problem, we were just starting." I told him and he sat next to me. "We talked about what made Carmen choose to be a doctor, and then about your daughter. What about you, what made you become a doctor?"

"Well, I stalked Carmen throughout school and when she said she was going into Med I had no option but to follow her there…" he laughed. I was not sure if he was joking or not.

"Eleazar, be serious!" Carmen said and laughed a bit. Well, that was relaxing…

"Ok, fine! I'll give her the public story… my father is a doctor, too. You know how there are parents that tell you: 'you can be anything you'd like, as long as is a doctor or a lawyer…' I could have wanted to be an astronaut for all they cared. Either way I was being turned into a doctor or a lawyer. So I figured that rather than help people fight, I could help them live."

"What is it that you specialized on?"

"I'm a cardiologist. But I like podiatry much more than the general practice."

"Why is that?"

"I can give the children the change to start a life. The feeling is much more rewarding that the one of helping prolong a life. For me, I mean." He amended.

"That is what drove me into my field," Carmen said, "there is nothing as beautiful as seeing a person come into this world. To know that that little person is so pure, so free of all the rules of society is very inspiring."

To say that I was awed by their words would be an understatement.

"What kept you going in the beginning?" I asked them, "when you didn't have as much experience, when you could have made mistakes?"

"In my case was knowing that no one is perfect, that I had to go through it to be the doctor that I am today." Carmen said and took Eleazar's hand, "For him it was more difficult, it wasn't his first choice of a career."

"I think Dr. Cullen taught me to love the job. It's true I didn't like it, but not for that I would turn my back on my patients and neglect them. Nevertheless it wasn't the best time of my life… I wasn't very confident on my potential."

"What about the kids left here? How often do you have to treat them?"

Carmen replied then.

"We don't see them only when they need us. When a baby is left behind the entire floor knows about it, and everyone comes to help. Our own daughter for example, she was so healthy, and so beautiful. Babies need human interaction so everyone would take turns in between shifts to come and help nurse her or play with her. The first time she grabbed my thumb I knew I wouldn't let go of her. How could anyone leave such precious gift behind?" she had tears in her eyes. I could see that she was sad for her daughter's fate, but also grateful that she had her in her life. She cleaned her face with a shaky hand and excused herself.

"I am so sorry I am bringing up such difficult topic." I told Eleazar when she left, "maybe we should continue some other time."

"Don't you worry, we rarely speak about it. It's even harder when Milagros asks about it. She still can't believe how little we know about her mother. And she is right, we know much more than we tell her, but it's too soon. She is not 10 yet."

"I see. Will you tell her everything some day or do you think that some things are better left unsaid?"

"It's a hard decision, you see?" he sighed, "on one hand she is my little girl, she says 'Jump!' and the first thing that comes to mind is 'how high?' I want to shield her from as much pain and heartache as possible. But if one day she decides she wants more answers than ones we can give her I will let her go a look for herself, but I am sure that before I do that I'll act like a selfish moron and shout things I won't be proud of. I am dreading the moment she gains enough maturity."

"What about her classmates, do they know about her?"

"I don't think they all know, or that they know everything. She isn't the first, and sadly won't be the last, adopted child. However it is a private matter. She is not ashamed of her life and she has accepted it to a certain point…"

The talk continued and minutes later Carmen joined us again. She told me Carlisle wanted to see me when I finished with them. We also talked about what they thought of the reasons a mother may leave her child behind, and I have to say that their opinions were complete opposite. It never ceased to amaze me how different people thought about this topic. They also told me about the baby girl that had caught my attention in the first place. Apparently they had decided to name her. Up until last week she had been nothing more than a room number. Her name was now Sonya. They weren't trying to impose it, since they didn't know if her name would be changed once she was adopted. She was healthy and doing great. The entire hospital was taken with her.

"I wouldn't be surprised if she was adopted by one of the doctors as well." Carmen said with a sad smile.

"Do you remember John?" Eleazar asked her.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, John was adopted legally by Dr. Matthews, but that didn't stop him sleeping over everyone else's place every weekend. He now has an entire hospital as his family. He gained much more than her lost…" Eleazar finished.

"You mean that although he was legally adopted by someone he still sleeps at the doctors' houses?" I asked surprised.

"I believe so. He was already too grown up when all the papers were ready for him to move on. It would have been hard for him to abandon everything he had grown accustomed to. What some children would consider nerve breaking is his normal day-to-day life." He explained. My thoughts were running wild. I couldn't stop the mental image from coming to my mind: the kid skipping happily down the hospital's hallways as if it was his personal playground.

I blinked stunned by my thoughts. "Doesn't he want more interaction with kids his age?"

"Actually he gets quite a handful of that. He is culprit of most smiles in the hospital. Children here love to play with him. He treats them as if nothing was wrong. He doesn't measure his words or treats them delicately. He is just himself."

I didn't know what to say. I thought it was sweet of him to come play with the other children, but at the same time I felt like he would miss out on a lot of things of his childhood.

"I know what you're thinking. Don't be too rash to judge his new parent. It makes him happy. What else would he need? Not everyone is alike. We all feel comfortable in different places. It just happens that he feels like this is his second home." Carmen told me softly.

Then my Dictaphone snapped. I had no idea we had been talking for so long. From one thing to the other it was already over 3 hours of chit-chat. We all laughed it off and I told them how pleased I was to meet them. They asked me to step by and say hello whenever I came to the hospital.

I knocked on Carlisle's door minutes later. There was no answer and I turned to leave. Then I saw the room in front of me. 1928D. I considered just leaving but curiosity got the better of me. I leaned forward and peeked through the blinds that covered the glass window. It looked pretty shady inside. I tried to make out the shapes in the room to see if I could find the crib where Sonya slept but I couldn't. I wasn't so sure that the baby was in there right this moment, so I just gave up and decided to leave.

There were loud voices coming from the elevators and as the doors opened I was face to face with the most beautiful, and enraged, man that I had ever met; and Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

I prayed to all saints that he would tone down his voice, but he just looked me over and kept his tirade with Carlisle.

"How could you have let her walk out?!"

"Edward, I will not repeat myself. I did what I had to do as a professional. My feelings right now are being kept at bay. And you're making it very difficult not to take my frustration out on you. I suggest you leave now. Go to Lizzy and relax for the rest of the afternoon. The authorities have been informed and we'll look into this later. For now, I have had enough." With that he turned to me. "I'm sorry Bella, I was hoping to catch up with you and ask about the article. I saw Carmen today and I have a few questions to ask you. However, right now might not be the best moment. We can do it some other time."

"Of course, Carlisle. You just set the time." I agreed. "I better leave now." I said catching a hint with his words to Edward. If he wasn't in the mood to see his son, I doubted I was any more welcome.

Edward kept the elevator door open for me and I nodded my thanks to him. As soon as the doors closed I felt trapped. He was practically fuming still, but his eyes were not the metallic hatred that I had seen when the doors opened.

"How's Lizzy?" I asked him trying to make small talk.

"She is fine. I left her with Tanya at home in order to make it here faster."

"Oh, I thought you were having your day of fun today."

"We were, but Emmett decided to paint my fiancée blue for the next 2 days."

I couldn't hide my laugh. I covered my face quickly and looked away trying to stop myself.

When I thought it safe I looked back and I saw that he was still smiling. The hate all but gone from his face, his eyes green and alive. He looked beautiful still, but this time he was an angel, and his mere presence was lighting up the mood in the elevator.

"I am just glad he didn't pull a prank on me." I said relieved to finally accept my luck.

"What makes you think he didn't?" he asked with humour in his voice.

"When I got home from the concert everything was in place. I took a shower and nothing itches or has changed colour. My clothes are as I left them. I haven't been kicked out of my building. My books and paper clippings are intact... there isn't anything else he could mess with, as far as I know." I counted the reasons with my fingers as we walked out of the Hospital.

He didn't seem to be in a bad mood. Maybe Emmett's prank was what he needed to lighten up a little bit.

"It seems you're right." He said with an amused expression. I beamed at him and started towards the bus stop.

"Say hi to Lizzy for me, please." I said over my shoulder.

"Wait!" he called to me and I stopped, "are you going to your apartment or to the newspaper?"

"I have to go to work to pick up a few things. Then I'm going home."

"I know for a fact that you haven't had lunch yet. Do you want to go get some? I have to get some for Lizzy and Tanya, anyways." He said motioning to his card. I had no clue how he knew that, but what surprised me was that he was actually behaving like a normal person.

"Lunch? It's almost 3PM!" I laughed.

"We ate too much junk food in the morning to be hungry by lunch time." He explained.

"Oh, I see. Yeah. That'd be cool. I had to talk to you about the Zoo trip anyways."

"That's perfect then. I was going to get us some take out from this place I know, but if you're in the mood for something in specific I could make a detour." He said as I got in the passenger seat. I was tempted to mark down the date, time, weather conditions of the moment, because the fact that he had not snapped at me yet should be marked down as one of the greatest moments of history.

"I'm quite hungry actually. I'm sure anything will be alright."

Without another word we were speeding off the parking lot. I saw fleetingly the lake and guessed we were going downtown, close to the newspaper office. That was convenient as well.

The next five minutes of the ride were awfully quiet.

"How's your vacation going?" I asked trying to make small talk.

"It didn't start off very well. I'm sure you can guess why…"

"Work didn't let up?" I guessed confused.

He looked at me like I was missing something evident and I shrunk back intimidated.

"Do you agree with her?" the way he said 'her' warned me that if I didn't want to be kicked out of the car I had better not agreed with 'her'.

"I don't know who you are talking about."

"You were in the hospital when it happened, how could you have not known? I thought you'd be glad it went down while you were there so that you could get it all for your report. I was actually counting on you mentioning it on the paper so that the law suit goes on smoothly." He finished.

"Wait, wait, wait! What are you talking about? And why, on God's Earth, are you actually glad I may include something in the stupid article? As far as I am concerned, you believe the world should not have any means of communications for people to know news." I spat back at him. Was this why he was being nice? Because he needed me to sue someone? The thought made bile rise in me.

"You don't know anything? What were you doing there if not snooping around to know more about Sonya?"

"Ok, for your information. The baby girl inspired my article. Something can be inspired by a person but at the same time not include that person. Not all musicians and poets describe the person or the name that inspired them. And I was actually interviewing people that had little to no contact with Sonya." I didn't know why I had to give him excuses, but he'd force them out of me somehow anyways.

He sighed and looked back at the street light that was still red. "Sorry, I thought... never mind."

"Now you have intrigued me, what happened at the hospital? Why do you need me as a witness to sue someone? I mean, two days ago you accused me of stalking babies, and now you want me to write about it?"

"It's not 'sue' per se. Just take it to court and let the jury make the final decision on the subject."

"And how is that any different?" suddenly I had a flashback to Tanya confusing my job and felt really stupid. Edward knew about legal procedures, he would enjoy call me out on my ignorance.

"They are very different things… but the problem is that Sonya's mother took her back. They couldn't stop her at the hospital. She is the mother in all papers." He sighed and shook his head, "incompetence! I just thought you could maybe help put things in motion."

"You mean she actually came back? Did she think she had more right now that she left her once than when she gave birth and walked away?" I was outraged. What was wrong with people in this world? That woman couldn't be in her right mind.

"I suppose you understand why I was so angry back at the Hospital. I treated Carlisle harshly but I felt so useless. There was nothing we could do. Maybe I am wrong, but what if she abandons her again? What if this time the baby isn't safe? She didn't even know she had a name. She hadn't even thought about a name for the baby. She just got there screaming for the nurses to give her 'her daughter' back." He said shaking his head. His anger was cleared now. His voice had turned metallic and his eyes shoot daggers at the innocent windshield.

"Wow, of all things… I wouldn't have thought… I mean, she may have had her reasons and maybe things will go okay, but she should have gone about it differently. Showed she was worth trust." I was at a loss for words. I didn't know what to say. I was shocked beyond comprehension. We parked and het out of the car. I undid my seatbelt and he had my door open instantaneously.

"Thank you. Where are we?" I told him looking at my surroundings. There was a huge sign that read BB. It was a restaurant. It didn't look like the normal takeout place I would go to.

"This is my favourite Chinese place." He explained walking in. "they're not available unless you have a reservation and it's certainly not take out. But you can get pretty much away with anything if you pay for it." he said winking at me. I looked at him dumbfounded. Edward Cullen had just winked at me, his worst enemy. For a second he was the incarnation of my sweetest sex dream. I closed my mouth before anyone caught me swooning. Stupid hot and moody guy. You never knew what he would do next. We were led to a table and given menus.

"Could you tell Xian that Edward Cullen is here to see her?" he asked the server who bowed politely and walked backwards not breaking contact with us. I opened my menu and my jaw dropped. Judging by the dish prices', Napkins in this place cost what I made in an hour, probably.

"Umm…" I didn't know if I should call him Edward, or Cullen, or even Masen. I knew for sure the last one wasn't an option, but I realized that during our friendlier conversation today he hadn't said my name once, and the same had happened to me. I cleared my throat and said his name.

He looked up and I blushed, maybe saying his name wasn't the best solution. Either way it was too late.

"Yes?" he asked looking back to his menu.

"I don't think these prices are the ones I consider when I think lunch." I told him honestly. There was no beating around the bush.

"May I call you Isabella?" he asked. So he had the same dilemma.

"Bella is more than fine." I told him.

"Bella." He paused, "I know we didn't start off great, but my family trust you, and apparently you made a great impression with my coworkers last night… that and I promised Alice I would act more mature if she did. Which she hasn't! but that doesn't mean I can't rise above her."

"I'm glad you trust me. It'd be awkward since Lizzy wants me to go with her to so many places during her vacation." I smiled remembering her.

"Yeah, about that… I don't actually trust you…" he started and I looked at him sarcastically, "it's more like I trust you not to harm her." He said struggling to explain his reasoning.

"I know how you feel. I still think you're over reacting, but she is your daughter and you have the right to protect her as you think necessary." I told him nodding. I glanced back at the menu and winced again. "back to my issue, I still can't afford this…" I told him placing it down.

"As I was saying, I know we didn't get off to a great start, but what kind of gentleman would I be if I made you pay for it when I suggested the place?"

"What is it with you Cullen's paying for everything? Esme got that paint for my place, Alice decided I needed a new wardrobe and …." I didn't want to tell him about the lingerie, "... everyone seems so sure that Emmett paid a small fortune to pull off a prank on me. Is it in the genes?" I knew it wasn't in the genes, because he didn't share the same DNA as Alice or Emmett, but I did want to see him deny or confirm it. I wanted to see how truthful would he be.

"I don't think is in the genes." He said looking straight into my eyes, "I think it was the way we were brought up."

"I wonder how Esme ha the energy to deal with Alice and Emmett." I laughed.

"She may not seem like it, but she is a tough cookie." He said with a smile.

"Hello Mr. Cullen, how can I help you?" a tall and slim girl said with the cutest accent. I smiled at her and she nodded in greeting.

"Bella?" he asked me telling me to order first.

"Uh… what do you recommend?" I asked him. "you have more experience coming here."  
"Give her my usual, and also prepare Tanya's and Lizzy's order to go, please."

The girl didn't even write it down. I didn't even know what I was getting. Apparently knowing it was his usual would be enough…

"What does 'the usual' include?" I asked him when she left.

"Rice, seafood, vegetables… I am not big on the way they prepare chicken or pork. Too sweet, at times. Meat should taste like meat, not candy…" I laughed and nodded in agreement.

"I suppose you're not big on barbecues, either."

"You're wrong, I like eating the food, as long as it's not rare or has any sweet seasoning on it."

"What does your family do for the Fourth of July, then?"

"Nothing remotely close to the tradition. There is usually this ball or dinner to go to."

"I see…" the conversation was interrupted by his ringing phone.

He excused himself after seeing the number and took the call outside.

I looked the surroundings and took in the decoration. It was a very Americanized version of the Chinese culture. It seemed uptight and serious, but the deep reds and browns of the décor gave it a homier feel.

"Miss…?" the tall girl was right by my side.

"Bella," I told her and smiled.

"This is your and Mr. Cullen's lunch. Should I also bring his daughter's and fiancée's?"

"I am not sure. He is taking a call outside. Why don't you wait until he is done and ask him?"

"Thank you. Please enjoy." She said after placing the plates on the table. Apparently we'd be eating in, not taking it out.

I looked around trying to find Edward. I finally found him on the left of the restaurant. He was looking at the pavement, holding the phone to his ear. He didn't seem to be talking but his expression gave away that he was worried about what he was hearing.

He seemed to feel my gaze because seconds later I found myself looking into his eyes and then he didn't seem so far away anymore. It was as if he was sitting right in front of me and I could see every detail and tone of his eyes. I looked down blushing but I still felt his stare on my shoulder. He wasn't doing the gentleman thing to do and ignore it.

A moment later he was back inside apologizing for his leaving.

"It's okay; I am surprised my editor hasn't called me about work yet."

"How was the concert last night? You don't seem too tired."

"I am not. It was fun; Ben's friends are very easy to talk to."

"Especially Ethan." He said not backing down.

"Excuse me?"

"He called me today asking about you. I had to transfer him to Alice." He said laughing.

"Oh, great. I am not picking up my phone today." I said and started eating.

"This is very good, by the way." I complimented.

"I have experience in choosing Take out places." He shrugged.

"I imagine Lizzy must be in paradise not having to 'eat he veggies'"

"Actually she still does," he said with a smile. "she is not having anything near greasy, artificial or deep fried. There is a reason I like this place. The food is very healthy. She goes to Esme's place often, too."

"And Esme is a tough cookie." I finished.

"So, about the Zoo…" he started. "I am free pretty much the whole week and Lizzy said you could make it after 5PM. Any day in specific?"

"Any day is fine. I haven't made plans with anybody."

"Yet..." he said quietly and then went on, "Lizzy is sure that you won't have time for her if she waits too long."

"Non-sense. She should know that I'll always have time for her."

"Ok, Wednesday sounds fine?"

"Yes, I think I'll be at the hospital Wednesday too. Where should I meet you?"

"How about I pick you up there? What time will you be done?"

"I think by three I'll be ready to leave. Lizzy has my cell number."

"that's good."

We kept eating in silence. Not knowing what to say. I didn't want to ask anything work related and he didn't seem curious about anything in specific. Maybe his employees had given a good review about me.

"What did Ethan say about the concert?" I asked.

He looked surprised for a second and then masked his expression. "he said he had a great time… I know he likes Simple Plan."

"Do you?"

"They've changed." He didn't say if he liked the new sound better or not and I didn't venture any further. "ok, he asked me to ask you about what you think of him… but I don't see myself starting that conversation. So I'm just going to ask you: Do you like Ethan? God! this is worse than elementary school." He said sighing.

I couldn't contain my laugh. "he seems ok. I didn't get the best feedback about him, though."

"Let me guess who gave it to you: Alice?"

"Yeah, what does that have to do with anything? A player is a player here and on the other side of the world. I trust Alice."

"Alice is a great person, but she can be a bit biased at times."

"Is that a good or a bad thing?"

"Well, I don't think any person would be good enough to be with someone she cared about. On the other side, she can be a bit harsh judging people."

"Like Tanya…" I said the words not even thinking about them. If I had, I would have stopped myself or I would have said: _'Like you…'_, and that would have been worse.

He looked at my blunt expression and then nodded slightly. "Just like Tanya…"

"I mean that she judges Tanya harshly…" I mended, but the damage was done. He was the one admitting it, though.

"That too." he said simply and continued eating.

I watched his graceful movements. From the way he sat and handled his cutlery to the sexy way his tongue cleaned his lips of any food remainder. Goosebumps rose on my arms and I rubbed them.

"Cold?" he asked.

"No, don't worry."

He looked around and sighed. "I left my jacket in the car."

"Don't worry, it must be the drink," I said gesturing to the soda in front of me. He nodded and I tried to pay attention to my dinner and not the man sitting in front of me. Sadly my eyes had other ideas. They kept dashing his way and more than once I was caught. I took a deep breath and counted to three. From that moment onward I would stop acting like such a teenager.

…

_Damn!_ Did that man have human magnets?

Minutes later I finished my lunch and he was done too.

"Ready to leave?"

"Yes, thanks for lunch, it was great."

"No problem."

The girl showed as if we had called. "This is the balance on your account at the moment, Mr. Cullen. Would you like to pay for it now or when you come back?"

"I guess now is as good as ever, I am not in a rush. Please bring the other two orders for me to take them home." He said handing her his credit card.

"I suppose I'll see you on Wednesday then." I said standing up.

"Yes, I'm sure Lizzy will call you before then."

I left with no other goodbye than a thank you and walked the four blocks to the office. I was still surprised that we had kept pretty civil all afternoon without trying to kill the other. I was glad some middle ground was found. I had 3m minutes until the office closed. I dashed upstairs and grabbed the letters I had left ready in the morning. I checked my email and replied Jacob's email. His read 'I'm alive and busy. You?' I decided to play with him and reply the same five words. I made a note in my agenda to call my mom and Charlie. I hadn't given them any updates. I also had to talk to Carrie as soon as possible. It had been too long.

Two hours later I was back at home, having small talk with my dad about the weather in Chicago and Forks.

"It's just as cold, why could you just come here?"

"It's not nearly as wet! Even though we have a lake right there. And at least I'm closer home than I was before. I can go there for the holidays or a long weekend." I said browsing through letters.

"Are you being careful in the streets?" he started with the security questions.

"Yes," I replied mechanically. Was he expecting me to say: _'No dad, I've found that I love walking into dark alleys with strange men.'?_

"Have you talked to your friends?"

"I email with Jacob regularly, you know that. And I am not really in the mood to talk to anyone who knew me or John, dad."

"Why didn't you move to Port Angeles at least?"

"Too close to Forks. Dad, I have a call on the other line. I am being careful. I have some friends. I like my job. Don't worry. Things are going to work out." I told him trying to calm him and looking at the caller ID flashing on the screen: Cullen A. there was one Cullen A. that would want to talk to me: Alice. I said goodbye to Charlie and ignored her call with a more than guilty conscience.

Then I dialled Renee's number.

"Hello?" Phil's voice answered.

"Hi Phil, I didn't know you were home so early."

"Hi Bella, how are you?"

"I'm good. Is my mom around?"

"Yeah, she is going to be so glad you called. Hold on."

"Hi baby!" my mom's hyper voice came through the receiver, "did you happen to remember you had a mother who worries when her daughter leaves the state without telling her where?"

"Mom, don't do this. I'm waving a white flag here."

She sighed, "You know how embarrassing was it to have to find out your whereabouts through Lily's mom?"

"I expect then that you know more about what happened."

"About why you left? I know. It still doesn't make sense. You could have come to my place."

"Mom, did you move into grandma's house when you got divorced?" I didn't wait for her reply, "you didn't. Why? Because women have pride."

"I'm sorry things went the way they went, baby… I know you wanted to make it work. But both of you had to want that to happen."

"Yeah." I really didn't feel like telling her half the things I knew.

"You know, you should visit us soon." Here we go. Guilt trip.

I sighed. "Mom, I just moved here not 2 weeks ago. I really don't think that it's time to go back."

"But Martha's son is back from the Middle East, and you know how hot a man in uniform is."

"I really wish you wouldn't try to set me up. Even less with any of the sons of the ladies from your pottery club."

"But honey, I've got to show you how great it can be here. You didn't have to go all the way to Chicago to avoid John. This city is big enough for the two of you. Think about how lonely I'll be without you here. I miss you, baby."

From my point of view it was too small if he saw himself having a better life with my best friend. They had known each other almost as long as I did. Couldn't he have figured it out some time ago?

"Mom, I think I can do better here. I don't want to stay in the newspaper for two long. I want to go into teaching. Or at least editing. Back there I had reached my limit."

"Fine, just promise to call me often."

"How about I email you?"

"No deal. Call me, don't make me call you."

"Ok, I'll try. I better go now."

"Why? Is there someone with you?"

"No mom. I just have some work to do."

"Ok, love you!"

"Love you, too, mom."

I sighed and fell back on the couch putting the letters away for a moment. So far I had gotten nothing for my favourite author, and what I had from other writers didn't seem good enough. I guess it was okay to express your feelings in a poem, some of them were just too descriptive.

Something caught my eye on the upper windowsill. I hadn't noticed it before, but there was a metal plaque plastered on the ceiling along the window. I was still strange to my apartment. More and more new things would start to show up, I was sure. I gave up poem hunting for the moment and went to the computer. I took out my notes and recording from my messenger bag and started on the article. This would be a long one.

* * *

AN: I, for one, i'm glad the hate is partially over, becuase we can get on with the important stuff.

i think my next update will be next week, becuase this week doesn't seem to be that hectic. nevertheless i make no excuses. i have math tests both monday and wednesday so until then don't expect me to write a word on next chapter. and then it all depends on what work brings...

remember to say happy mothers day to all your moms, or if you're one accept mine congrats.


	17. Chapter 17

AN: i didn't expect to be able to update this fast, but here i am. i am glad i did though. on the other hand, i failed my test today... so yeah. enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 17:

Tuesday morning came and it brought nothing new. At least I didn't trip on my way to work. I tripped on the leg of my chair, though. I looked around and saw that not many people noticed.

I hadn't paid much attention to the people I worked with. Sure there were the walking plastic surgeries, who were also the girls from Gossip. There was the old strict guy that everyone avoided. And I was sure it couldn't have been called an office without the geeky guys from IT talking about their latest conquest on some online multiplayer game with a name that I couldn't even begin to pronounce, let alone spell.

All in all, it was a common place. It was similar to the office in Phoenix, but with different accents. For example, I now knew that 'g'rach' was 'garage' and that 'tree' was a number, not that people were very environmentally friendly in the office. The first time I was caught with an aging truly Chicagoan I almost thought Martians had landed. I got nothing from the sentence. Not only the speed I was bombarded with, but half the places he referred to I had no knowledge of his existence. Luckily Angela came and translated quietly. I finished the first draft for my article and dropped it at Tyler's desk. We went for lunch and I asked her if she had heard from Ben.

"He called me yesterday, and you know the usual email back and forth." I stopped my questions because she had told me she had gotten enough of them yesterday when Alice called her.

"I don't even know what to say when she calls again." I told Angela and she told me I should just tell her the truth. I looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah. You're right," she said after my sceptical look, "she'll drill for 'juicy details'" she said with a slight shudder. I nodded and we kept eating.

"Hey, Bella?" Tyler came to me when we got back holding a piece of paper that looked very much like my article. I gulped and turned to him.

"Yeah?"

"Great job with this follow up. You might want to try lifting the mood a little. This couple got their happy ending, didn't they?"

"They did, why do you ask?"

"It kind of sounds like the girl is against her will in their lives."

"Oh, no! That's not what I meant at all. I just wanted to say that her mother choices still guide her life, even though they're not together anymore."

"I know. Try rewording it." he took the copy with him and left.

I went to Angela, who seemed to be the most positive person all around.

"Hey, Ang? You busy?"

"Kinda, why?"

"I need some 'uplifting' energy for my article. Apparently I am feeling a bit depressed…" I said rolling my eyes.

She laughed, "It happens. I'll come by your desk in a moment." She said turning back to her job. I went back to my desk and started reading over my lines. I changed a few things here and there and by the time she came back we just switched some words and moved a few things around. It was also a bit shorted this time. Which was a better thing, it would be tedious to read something that long in a section that should relax the reader.

I went back to Tyler's office to go over it with him this time but he was busy with some short girl that seemed to be from Entertainment.

"But, Ty! Think about it. ET would totally go for that story, why can't we cover it?"

"Because they probably will! How sure is your source?"

"VERY sure..."

"Is it legal? What if we get sued by her manager? I've heard that Rosalie Hale is a handful." I immediately put on my listening cap. I was now more interested in what was this about.

"I am sure nothing will happen! She is almost 'it' right now, and she is right here in the city. I even think the guy lives near by."

"Fine, Jenina. Take the story, but please, try and not get a restriction order?"

"You worry too much! No wonder you're so tense. You should really think about reorganizing your office. I mean, that desk facing north isn't really aligned with you chakras, they are going to stop circling."

"Nice to talk to you Jenina…" he said dismissing her.

"'Bye Ty! Thanks!"

"Yeah, yeah…" he muttered as she left.

I went in right after her and saw him gripping his hair.

"Bad day?" I asked setting the paper right in front of him.

"You have no idea… you've been quiet today. Haven't seen much of you."

"I'm keeping busy. Trying not to trip over anything. You know... the usual."

"Yeah, don't think we all ignored that bump this morning. It is quiet in the office. By the way, try not to curse next time. Someone can be on the phone next time."

I felt heat rise to my face. "Sorry, Tyler. It won't happen again."

"Ok, so… Let's see this baby." He read it over and I saw his eyebrows pull together a few times. At the end he seemed pleased enough. "Seems fine. I'll have Gloria look into it with more detail. I'm glad you decided to not put names. I don't think the doctors would have minded though."

"Yeah, by the way, thanks for not telling me there were two of them. With the same last name."

"Didn't I? Oops. Sorry. So any plans tonight?" he asked putting the paper aside. That was quick.

"Actually yes, I have some poetry to catch up on." I told him serious.

"That can be romantic."

"Not really," I really didn't feel like dealing with this right now, "not one of those poems is not for me."

"I see. Ok, then that's all for now."

"Great. I'll go back to my desk now." I said standing up and going to the door.

"Um hum. Could you call Chrissie in for me on your way back?"

"Sure." I said and closed the door behind me. I started towards the first person that crossed my path. It was a tan boy that seemed like an intern from high school. I was going to ask him if he knew who Chrissie was but I thought that he wouldn't know much more than me.

"You know, I need to meet more people at the office." I told Angela when I got to her desk.

"You're new. But why the sudden realization."

"Well, I can't bother you as if you were the information desk every fifteen minutes."

"I don't mind. What is it this time?"

"Who is Chrissie?"

"Oh, that'd be Christina. That's her." She said pointing to a girl who was talking to Jenina.

"Hi," I said walking up to her. She looked me up and down and I guess she didn't approve of my office attire. I actually rolled my eyes telling her I didn't need the approval. "Tyler asked me to call you into his office."

"Oh, that's nice of you. Thanks." She said and went back into her chit chat. I turned and looked at Angela. She shrugged her shoulders and I realized it was out of my hands now. They can deal with each other, if needed.

Back at my desk I checked my email. There was one from Ethan:

'_Bella:_

_Because I don't think you're much about the rules, I am breaking about 50 of them and not waiting until the third day to contact you. Anyways. How's your week going so far? Missing me yet? I could fix that. Dinner. Wednesday. Pick you up at… 8PM?_

_Take care,_

_E'_

A little confident aren't we? I just had to reply to that.

'_Breaking the rules? I hope you don't use that often. Either way, I am glad you emailed me today. About your—were they suggestions?—requests: I already have plans for Wednesday. Say Thursday and you've got a deal._

_My week is going pretty fast. Things happen. How's your vacation?_

_Bella_

_I'll be leaving work soon. Reply to my personal email.'_

I looked at the clock on the screen and it was almost five. I started closing up and clearing up my things.

Fifteen minutes later I was in the subway on my way home. As soon as I stepped out of the station my cell phone started going off. I looked at the message and I saw I had two new voicemails.

'Bella! Where are you?' Alice's chipper voice came, 'are you done with work for today? Let's go out for happy hour! Call me back, you owe me. Ciao!'

I sighed and listened to the second one before calling her back.

'Hi Bella, it's Ethan. I just got your email and was wondering if you had any plans for tonight? Call me back. Bye'

I dialled Alice's number and waited. She picked up on the third ring.

"Hi Bella!"

"Hey, Alice. Sorry I just got your message I was in the subway. What's up?"

"Oh! I just wanted to ask you to come for drinks with us. Don't think I have forgotten you didn't tell me how the concert went."

"Oh, there wasn't much to tell. Ben and Angela had a lot of fun together, but they didn't hook up or anything." I said avoiding her real question.

"What about you?" no luck…

"Oh… umm… Ethan drove me home. He wants to get together tonight, too."

"That's perfect! Tell him to come with."

"First of all: I thought you didn't like him. And second: I doubt he wants to have dinner with a bunch of engaged people. That's a bit intimidating for a first da--…" at the moment the words left my mouth I realized he hadn't called this a date. Just drinks. I could work that on my favour. "You know what? Let me ask him to come with us and I'll get back at you."

"Ok, do it."

"'Kay, bye."

"Later."

I checked my missed calls and got Ethan's number. His deep voice sounded half asleep.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Ethan. Sorry, I didn't know you were resting. I'll call later."

"No, no! It's okay! What's up, Bella?"

"Well, remember how you asked if I had plans for tonight?"

"Oh, you got my message. Good."

"Yeah, the thing is that Alice had asked me to go with them for happy hour after work. I was wondering if you'd like to come with."

"Sure! What time do I pick you up?"

"Oh, I thought you'd find it weird to get together with your boss and his sister during vacation time…" I laughed.

"Well, when you put it like that, it is weird. I think of it as 'Alice: Bella's friend'. You know?"

"I see. So, want to pick me up in… say one hour and a half?" I figured it'd give me enough time to stop by the grocery store and then get ready.

"You've got a date." _Damn it!_

"Do I?"

"Sure, let's do it."

"Great, see you later. You remember the way into the garage, right?"

"Back of the building. Got it. See ya'"

I hung up and looked at the streets that the bus passed. I could have just walked to my house, but I wasn't feeling up to it. Either way I'd have to walk from the stop to my building about 5 blocks.

I stood up to get off and my phone started going off again. Alice was not a patient creature.

"So, did you ask him? What did he say?" she said right away.

"I'm sorry, who is this?" I feigned ignorance, teasing her.

"Funny. Now, answer my question."

I carefully got off the bus, not to tempt fate a fall flat on my face.

"I asked. he will pick me up in an hour and so."

"An hour! That's not nearly enough time to get you ready! Are you home yet?"

"Actually I wanted to stop by the grocery store and get a few things. After your brother was here last weekend my fridge is dangerously empty. A little longer and it'd look like a coconut: white and with water inside."

"You can't! Do you have a flat iron at home? You have to get in the shower as soon as you get there. Then let it dry itself as much as possible. Then blow-dry it but with warm air only. And try to apply the make up afterwards, 'cause you'll sweat for sure while you're drying it..."

"Alice, Alice! Calm down. This is not the first time I get ready in 45 minutes. And even if you don't think so, I've been on dates before."

"Really? Then how come there is no boyfriend here or in Phoenix waiting for you."

"Ouch! Thanks." I told her rolling my eyes.

"You know what I mean..."

"I do, and for your information I've been divorced… twice…" she didn't need to know that both times it was to the same man; or maybe I should tell her and not look like a slut.

"Really I wouldn't have thought. What happened?"

"He cheated, I cheated… long story short here I am."

"I guess you got even paying it forward."

"Actually I was married both times to the same guy."

"Ever heard of not tripping over the same stone twice."

"With my coordination, and luck, I tripped with the same stone a dozen times."

"Oh wow! I didn't know that."

"It's not something I like to talk about." I said walking into the grocery store and grabbing a cart.

"I can see why. Who had the commitment issues?"

"I'd like to say him, but he recently proved it was me."

"Really, I think you just haven't found what you're looking for. And let me tell you, it is certainly not Ethan. But he isn't a bad choice to hang out."

"Wow, and I thought you were the optimistic type."

"I'm more of a realistic. I know what's going to happen in real life and I try not to sugar coat it."

"That's weird. You never told me you were going to torture me with make up brushes, or that I'd get a brush thrown at my head."

"Hey! That was your fault. Never make fun of something I buy. Are you home yet?"

"Alice, I just got to the grocery store. Give me 15 more minutes and I'll be out of here."

"Whatever. I have to go. Call me before you leave and I'll tell you where to meet us."

"'Kay. Bye!"

Something caught my attention. She didn't say if Edward had said anything about us having lunch while Lizzy was at home with Tanya.

I finished my shopping and carried the heavy bags home. As I entered the building. I realized that all the time in the world would not be long enough for me to evade Mike.

He was checking his mail standing right at the door and I had to go through it still. I slowed down giving him time to finish up and head upstairs. However, his eyes caught mine; he had a smile on his face and waved at me. I waved back, sans smile, and looked down trying to get across the message of 'head upstairs without me'.

He had other ideas.

"Hi, Bella!" he remembered the name.

"Hi, Mike. How's it going?" I said walking to wards the elevator and he followed. Damn it!

"Good, I haven't seen you in a while."

"I've been busy." I didn't want to say that I was no longer busy.

"I'll say."

I pressed the UP button and waited. I didn't want to make small talk either.

"I noticed your friend came and let himself in. I see you made friends at work."

"What 'friend' let himself in?" I was brought short by this to say the least.

"You know the big guy with curly dark brown hair. He came to help you that same weekend I offered." I searched in my mind. Big, dark curly hair came to help during the weekend: Emmett.

"Shit! When was that?" I asked him with my eyes wide.

"It was on Sunday morning I think. He said you asked him to get a few things for you. I saw he had a key.

"Fuck! What did he do?" I said walking to my door.

"Is everything okay? You can talk to Wilma and change the lock. Or you could go to the police if he is harassing you." It was funny how he didn't offer to talk to Emmett himself. But seeing his size compared to Emmett's it was a wise choice.

"No, it's okay." I said and walked in, "Bye Mike."

"See you around, Bella."

I walked in and started looking around like a maniac for some prank I missed the previous night. Something that could stink, I checked to see my papers hadn't been switched for blank pages. Nothing. Everything was in order. Maybe he couldn't find anything to mess and left. I knew that was too good to be true. And knowing Emmett he'd at least put a glass of water balanced on the door to fall and drench me as soon as I got in. but there was nothing. The cupboards opened and nothing fell. The bathroom cabinet was just as I left it.

I sighed and put the food away.

One hour and a half later Ethan was sitting in my living room while I finished getting ready.

"Sorry for being late. I got distracted checking the place for potential pranks from Emmett."

"No worries. I've heard Edward cursing at him enough times to know how he can be." He said laughing, "Your place is nice. Small but homey."

"I can't take the credit. Esme is in charge of décor and everything that looks nice here."

"Who?"

"Mrs. Cullen."

"Oh, I didn't know you were that well connected."

"Actually I met Carlisle before I met anybody else. I'm ready." I said coming into the living room.

"You look great."

"Thanks. So do you." He had gotten a haircut and his blond hair was now spiked and he looked younger than he was. He actually looked younger than me. I was about to ask his age but stopped myself. I could ask Alice that.

Alice said we wee going to meet at some Read Head bar, and Ethan seemed to like the idea.

We made small talk in the car and said a few jokes. He told me that he had forgotten what to do during vacation because he so rarely had any. Also told me about embarrassing situations he had been in when I bumped my head with the ceiling of the car as I got out. We were laughing a lot when we walked in and I could feel my skin flushed and a stray tear was falling out of the corner of my eye. It was close to 7PM and the place hadn't opened yet. I recognized the group through Emmett's giant form.

Alice came and hugged me and I turned to Emmett without even looking at anybody else.

"Would you like to explain what did you do inside my apartment?"  
"What are you talking about?" he said with a huge smirk on his face.

"My neighbour saw you, Emmett. And also, how did you get a copy of my key?"

"I didn't, I had this master key that came with a police Officer outfit Rosalie got me." He winked.

"Emmett!" Rosalie's voice came and she looked pretty pissed. "Would it hurt to stop your tongue for once?"

"And so it begins…" Edward murmured.

"So now you want me to stop the tongue? Who understands women? I remember you telling me 'don't stop' the tongue…" Emmett said rolling his eyes.

"Emmett, I am going to put you on a carnal diet if you keep this up." Rosalie threatened.

"Hello, everybody…" Ethan said finally still laughing.

They all said hi back and I found myself hugged by Tanya. Next to me Alice tapped her foot on the pavement and I gave her a warning look.

"Let's go in." she said pulling me along. I gave Tanya an apologizing look and walked behind Alice.

"Umm, Alice. I think we're too early."

"No, we're late."

"Alice, they aren't even open yet."

"They are for us." She said and knocked on the door. A man with a red bow tie opened the door and greeted us.

"Welcome Ms. Cullen. Your table is ready."

As soon as we walked in I saw that several tables were already buzzing and rounds were being passed around. From my group everybody was greeted at least by one other person there except me.

"You're a regular here, aren't you?" I asked Ethan as soon as we were seated.

"Sometimes. But the scene in Chicago is mostly populated by people our age, so we all know each other from one time or the other. Also, it's good to keep people happy. Networking can solve you many problems."

"I might have to work on that."

"You'll be fine as long as you know the Cullen's."

"I don't want to use their name everywhere I go."

"Well, then. As long as you're with me you won't have any problem fitting in." he said with a wink. I wondered how long would that be, given his reputation.

The place started to fill at 7, and by 8 not a single table was empty, and there were people sharing barstools. There was live music and it wasn't mainstream music. It was very 50's and vintage from the colours and pictures to the music.

Emmett and Jasper asked for cigars, but we told them to knock it off and not stink up our hair.

Rounds came and we talked about what was going on in our lives at the moment. We congratulated Alice and Jasper on their engagement and wished them the best. More than once I was caught by Edward staring at the way he laughed throwing his head back. His long pale fingers turning and turning the cup with his wine. Every time it happened he held my gaze, and each time the moment that we looked at each other was longer than the previous one.

Tanya didn't say much. She wasn't in her field, and she looked uncomfortable. Not mentioning that Alice had a silent was of glares going on with her.

Rosalie and Tanya went to the ladies room. Alice was dancing with Jasper while Emmett was talking to some friends two tables away.

"Do you want something to drink?" Ethan asked in my ear tapping my empty glass.

"A beer would be fine. I don't want to mix more alcohol." I told him and smiled thankful.

"I've got you." And he left to the bar.

I looked around and saw that it was only Edward and me in the booth. He was sitting on the same side I was, just a few feet away. He said something I couldn't hear and I leaned closer.

"You were saying?"

"I said you and Ethan look like are having a good time."

"We are. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay. You make a good couple."

"We're not together."

"You're on a date."

I shrugged; he was right on that one. His eyes were sad but anger flicked in them from time to time.

"You and Tanya look very good together." I told him honestly. She was the model, and he could be one if he wanted to. He gave me a small nod, but my compliment didn't earn a smile.

"Hey, baby! Let's go dance." Tanya's voice startled me and I forced my eyes away from his gaze again. They swayed to the rhythm not far from our table. He played absentmindedly with the end of her ponytail and she slipped the tips of her fingers in his back pockets. Then his eyes were back to mine and he looked at me from under his eyelashes. The dark and reddish colour seemed lighter than the look in his eyes; and he didn't abandon my gaze until his back was to me again, after a few sways.

"Here you go." Ethan said placing a glass with cold beer in front of me.

"thanks." I said taking a sip and feeling the bubbles tickle my throat. It was very cold and I was glad for it, since the air was fogged in the bar.

Rosalie sat in front of me and I smiled tentatively at her. She had been greeting people ever since she walked in. she, not only remembered them, but also details about their lives to make small talk on. I could tell they weren't more than acquaints and she still was pleasant and I understood what she was doing. She was networking. Wherever she went, Tanya went and was introduced as her best friend and model.

I decided to head back early because I had work the next day. I hugged goodbye the girls and Emmett. I shook Jasper's hand looked at Edward searching his face for a goodbye. My eyes met his and I saw an expression I was familiar with.

It was the same look in my date's eyes every time John came in the middle of my life and I picked him over everybody else. It was sadness, hurt, and longing in a sea of green… I stopped on my tracks and didn't move until I felt Ethan pull at my hands.

Alice insisted that I stayed late but I couldn't, I had work the next day. I'd probably be all day at the hospital, and that was a blessing. In case any hangover induced accident occurred I could reach help immediately. Ethan drove me home and I looked out the window, remembering the good ole' days when I would come back into John's life and we'd find ourselves not leaving the house for more than a few hours at a time; trying to be as close as possible, as long as possible.

Next thing I know we're parked in my building. This time he didn't ask, he just walked by my side upstairs and I stood on my door. I absolutely dreaded this moment. The waiting. The knot in my stomach and the small voice in my head that told me I didn't want his lips on mine. I did as I always did. He asked me if he could kiss me and I said yes. He leaned forward and I took a step closer. His arms encircled my waist and my hands caressed softly his chest. His lips were not urgent against mine. They were new, strange. I could taste the remains of the wine on his lips and his breath. Then I realized my eyes were open. They usually closed on their own accord. That was just another sign that there would not be the minimal spark. He didn't deepen the kiss and I didn't encourage it either. When we broke apart I gave him a small smile and he smiled back.

"Sweet dreams. I'll call you tomorrow." He whispered against my lips.

"Good night." I whispered quietly and went to open my door. I walked in and turned back. He waved goodbye and marched down the corridor. I closed the door and pressed my back to it.

Morning came with the usual sun on my window at merely 5:30 AM. I groaned and pulled the pillow onto my face. It was too late; once I was awake there was no going back. I woke up and went straight to the bathroom cabinet to grab something for my pounding headache.

I had nothing to do but to wait until it was time to get ready for work.

I sat in an armchair in the living room and put a cold towel over my eyes, willing the headache to go away and shielding my eyes from the blinding light that was everywhere in the small place. I should not wait for Esme's perfect curtains. I needed black ones right now.

I couldn't fall asleep, and I couldn't make my mind shut up either. Images of yesterday's laughs, music, and the smells of the bar filled the red curtain behind my closed lids. It all came crashing back to me. Then the goodbye and Edward's gaze holding mine. His eyes had their own gravitational pull. If he looked at me I felt a buzzing inside until I looked back at him. Once we were in each other's gaze it was as if he was trying to lift my thoughts from my eyes. Searching in them for something I wasn't telling him, but I had no idea what it was. Something would snap me back into reality until I felt the buzzing again. And the cycle would repeat.

Chances were it was all in my head. The alcohol and his beauty playing my mind. Up until yesterday he hated me with all of his, and then in two days we held civilized conversations and stood each other's presence. The man was engaged, for crying out loud! Yet I couldn't deny I was attracted to him in the worst way. On my defence: who wouldn't be attracted to Edward Cullen?

I had to do something. This would be my punishment for all the times I sinned. I could not turn into Lily. That would just suck in so many ways. I had to do something to plant in my head the idea that he was to be married, and once the article with the hospital was finished and Lizzy's vacation had ended I would no longer have to even talk to him. Alice would still be my friend, but I would not have any other links to the family. The thought made me sad. The least I could do was give him less headaches and fade away. I had to stop thinking this way. I had to start imagining him with Tanya. What could make Edward's life with Tanya easier?

An idea popped into my mind. What if Alice and Tanya got along? Wouldn't they all be better off? Maybe then Alice maybe wouldn't need me so close, and I'd lose her friendship but it would make them all so much happier.

I had to make those two get along. Let's be real. Alice was jealous of Tanya, and Tanya was jealous of Alice. If they actually knew how the other felt I was sure they would put their differences aside and get along. I knew Emmett wasn't very fond of Tanya, but he had Rosalie to put him in place.

It was almost 7AM now. Time to get ready. I placed the towel aside and stretched. I almost mewled in pleasure. I took a hot shower and prepared a small lunch to bring with me. I looked like hell. My eyes were red and puffy. My lips were dry and I remembered that I didn't drink any water yesterday in the bar. I put very light make up on and left the house. Walking to the bus stop it started drizzling and I cursed. Now? It had started to drizzle now? Why not when I needed the sun to hide in the early morning? I covered myself with my messenger bag as much as I could and hurried to the shelter of the stop. Minutes later the bus arrived. Packed, like it always was at this time.

45 minutes later and I was at the office. I had to wait until 12:30PM to go to the hospital. In the mean time I was in the tedious labour of typing letters. It was good to learn background information. But it was too boring after a while.

I decided to take a break and randomly browse the internet. Check my horoscopes in iVillage; waste some time, if you may.

I looked at the clock and saw it was time to go and see Tyler. I knocked on the door and he asked me to come in.

"So, who am I interviewing today?"

"His name is Dr. McNeal. But before you see him you have to step by Dr. Cullen's office. He had a few questions for you. Other than that you're free to go." He said handing me the letter with the authorization to enter the hospital and all other papers I had become accustomed to.

"Tyler, I was going to ask you. Can I go home straight after the interview? Do you need me here after 4:30PM?"

"Sure, it'll be pretty quiet here. If anything I'll give you a call. Did you finish those letters I asked you to review for me?"

"Yes, I sent them by email."

"Then that's all for today. See you tomorrow."

I left his office. Grabbed my stuff and asked Angela to lunch before I left to the hospital.

"So, you want to make those two get along?" Angela asked me once I finished telling her my plan. I didn't tell her that the reason I wanted to do it was so that I could see for myself how much better it would work out for Tanya and Edward. I wanted to see them have what I couldn't have, despite the little crush I had on him.

"Yeah. Do you think that'd be getting in the middle of stuff I shouldn't meddle with?"

"Well, I don't see anything wring with wanting a family get along. What I think is that it may be more difficult than you think it'll be. Alice can be quite the character, and Tanya doesn't seem to bend to people's will easily." She said chewing a baby carrot.

"I don't expect them to be BFF's but you have to admit that anything would be better than what they have now. It can't get any worse, can it?"  
"Well, there is nuclear war…" she trailed off with a smile.

I laughed at her joke. "Think about it, they're both getting married soon. All the planning would be a good bonding experience." I looked at my clock and gasped. "Shit! I'm gonna be late."

"Oh-oh! See you this afternoon in the Zoo?"

"probably." I laughed.

I ran to the nearest bus stop and waited tapping my foot. Five minutes later the bus showed up and it wasn't half full. I got in and went straight to the back door to get off on my stop as soon as possible. Apparently the driver had other ideas. Two stops ahead he stopped and got off the bus. Apparently his shift ended and his replacement hadn't showed up yet. 5 more minutes passed and I was edgier by the second. Eventually another guy in uniform showed up and I thought they'd get on with it. I was wrong. Both drivers had a smoke before the second one got in the bus and started driving. I was five stops away from the Hospital. I had less than ten minutes to make it there and be right on time. Forget about being five minutes early. I was dreading the moment I had to knock on Carlisle's door and look at him.

Fist thing he had told me was that I had to adjust to his personnel available hours.

These doctors were giving me their lunch time and breaks so that I could do something that wouldn't be half as important as what they did.

The bus finally made it to my stop and I was already late. When I was in high school I hated to be late, because everyone's attention would be focused on each of my clumsy steps as hurried to my seat. Here, it would be worse. What kind of first impression was I going to make?

I ran to the elevator briefly showing my pass to the security office at the gate and pressed the 19th floor. Shifting from leg to leg I finally made it and didn't ask for directions at the desk. I rand to Carlisle's office and knocked on the door.

When he opened it his eyes were wide with shock and I must have looked like hell. My hair must have been all over the place. I was sweating for sure, and my breathing was ragged.

"I'm so sorry I'm late, Dr. Cullen." I began apologizing.

"Don't worry about it Bella, and please, I've told you to call me Carlisle."

He invited me in and I sat down and took deep breaths to calm my body.

"Tyler told me you wanted to talk to me. Is everything okay?"

"Tyler?" he asked confused.

"Mr. Crowley, my supervisor, you could say."

"Oh, yes. Right… I saw yesterday that your interview was taking a toll on Dr. Martinez. I wanted to talk to you yesterday after you were done but something came up and I couldn't. After you left, I talked to her and she cleared it up for me. There is nothing for you to worry about."

"Oh, thank God. I was worried for a second."

"Alice said you were all going out yesterday. How did it go? Did she behave herself?"

"Alice will be Alice. And I could see that she was making a great effort to swallow every nasty comeback she thought of." I said laughing. "We all had fun, I think."

"I'm glad. That was all. When are you visiting us again? Esme asked me to tell you see hopes to come finish everything next weekend."

"Oh, good. I've barely slept because I've got no curtains."

"I'll let her know." He laughed.

"Ok, then. I'm going to head to Dr. McLean's office. Which one is it?"

"Down the hallway. 1935." He indicated.

"Great thanks!"

Dr. McLean was an oncologist. He treated the strange cases of cancer in newborns. None of his cases had been abandoned children or orphans, but he had been in the hospital long enough to witness enough stories of that kind to fill a book. He was a short man of almost 60 years. He had bright eyes and he seemed to be that grandpa who sits in the park and helps kids feed pigeons while he tells them stories. It was very relaxing to talk to him.

Time flew by and next thing I knew I was shaking his hand and saying goodbye.

I checked my cell phone and saw that I had no messages from Lizzy or any outside caller. I hoped the trip hadn't been cancelled. I decided to stop by Carlisle's office to say goodbye before I'd leave. I knocked and there was no answer. I decided to wait for a little while before knocking again. I walked to the window of the room baby Sonya was just two days ago. What could she be doing now? Does she miss this place? Does she think of her mother a stranger? I rested my forehead on the cool glass and closed my eyes.

I imagined the little baby in a dark room. Scared and crying. The mother doesn't know what to do because she has no practice or knows about her schedule.

Then a hand was on my shoulder and I jumped back.

"Bella?"

There were Edward and Carlisle looking at me with curious expressions.

"You okay?" Carlisle's concerned voice asked me.

"Yeah. Just thinking."

"Are you sure, you look pale."

"I am fine. It's probably last night catching up with me."

"Okay, then."

"You ready?" Edward asked me.

"Yeah, let's go."

Carlisle looked at us with wide eyes. "Do you guys have plans?" I smiled. I'd be surprised too, but I was past that already.

"Lizzy invited Bella to the Zoo with us." Edward replied without missing a beat.

"Ok, have fun," Carlisle said waving us goodbye.

We made our way down and I was surprised Lizzy wasn't with him. "Where is Lizzy?" I asked surprised.

"I don't like bringing her here. I believe a kid should be brought into a hospital when he is sick only. The place is always crowded with kids and adults with viruses."

"I understand. I imagine she wasn't sick often as a baby."

"She was always the healthy one." His tone gave away that there was more that he wasn't telling me. I didn't press the subject any further, though. "She'll bring her back." He said when I was seated and he had closed my door.

"What do you mean?"

"The mother. She'll bring Sonya back. I've seen her type before?" he said and I understood.

"Why are you so sure?" I asked him surprised.

"Like I said, I've seen her type before. I am sure she now has a boyfriend that has promised her everything and what not. But the moment she sees herself in the streets she'll bring her back. The worst thing is that we don't know how long can that take, and in the mean time the baby can be going through God knows what." He sighed.

Could he be letting me in a part of his mind he had closed before?

"I can only hope for the best. Maybe this 'boyfriend' of hers—if your theory is right—has better intentions than just play with a desperate woman's feelings."

"There are not many people like that in the world." He said with a roll of his eyes.

"If you were in love with a woman—truly in love—wouldn't you accept her even if she had a new born child?"

"I never said the guy was in love with her."

"You didn't, but as I said: I can only hope." With that we fell into silence until we were parked in front of a skyscraper.

He called someone and 2 minutes later a young man in uniform brought a very happy looking Lizzy.

Edward helped her in and shook the man's hand.

"Hi Bella! Are you happy that we're going to the Zoo? We're going to have so much fun! Aunt Alice lent me her camera so that I can take my own pictures. She showed me how to make pretty pictures…" she was about to go on but Edward had gotten in and she immediately started to buckle her seatbelt. He smiled at her and gave her the thumbs up.

"Is the crew ready?!" he asked with a big smile.

"Yes, Captain." She replied saluting with her hand. It was so cute I couldn't stop my laugh.

"Miss Isabella, no one laughs at the Captain or crew members." Edward said with a stern, yet playful voice.

"That's right. You should be good or we're kicking you out the plane and without a parachute." Lizzy said very serious.

I bit my cheek and when I was sure my laugh wouldn't bubble up I replied with the same salute. "My apologies Miss Lizzy. Please don't throw me out."

"Aw, Bella! I would never. Don't be scared. I promise not to kick you out without a parachute." She said taking my hand in both of hers.

"Do you promise not to kick me out at all? I'd feel better if there was no kicking in general." I told her with a sad face.

She sighed dramatically and dropped my hand. "If you behave…"

"Aye, aye, Captain!" I saluted her.

"My dad's the Captain. I'm the boss of the crew… and the entire crew…" she added afterwards.

I had to laugh at that. "It must be good to be your own boss, eh?"

She nodded and went back to a toy she had by her side.

I looked at Edward and saw he had been catching glimpses of our interaction through the mirror. He smiled at me and I beamed back. Lizzy had the power to lift me from whatever mood I was in.

The Zoo wasn't far from their place. About two miles or so. With the afternoon traffic it was a bit slower to get there, but we made it in about 15 minutes.

Edward parked right after a car ad emptied the space and Lizzy was out of the car before I was.

"I think you're spending too much time with your aunt Alice," I joked ruffling her hair.

"I think so, too." Edward agreed picking her up.

"We're going to see the sea lions first and then the beavers and then the monkeys!" she said excitedly waving her arms around while Edward tried to put his head far from the flying limbs. "Come on, Bella!" she called me to walk right by her side. We walked through the gardens and Edward put her down.

She held one of my hands and Edward's. She had the same smile from the day at the park, only this time she knew where she was going and she pulled us along. He didn't pry his eyes away from her and a smile was constantly on his face. We kept walking through the Japanese gardens and she took pictures from time to time.

Edward and I kept a conversation based on what we saw there. He seemed to know a lot about the park, so I had no option but to ask, "How many times have you been here?"

"From 6 to 10 times every summer since Lizzy was born. And every once in a while when I want to escape my job."

"A lot, then." I concluded sitting on a bench now that Lizzy seemed to want to catch a break.

"Yeah. I like to come here, though."

"You don't seem like the kind of guy that just sits around at the Zoo. I would have never thought you'd need an escape." I told him honestly.

"Never say never."

"That's true."

"Carlisle told me you met the Martinez. I imagine they told you about their daughter."

"They did. Milagros, I think is her name."

"It is. She's a great kid, a bit shy sometimes. Lizzy likes going to visit her."

"I think she is a couple years older than Lizzy, from what I heard."

"Yeah. Still, they get a long pretty well. Usually they come with us to the cottage for a couple of weeks during the summer."

"Bella, Bella!" Lizzy called, "Come see. It's the prettiest flower."

"Coming!"

"She likes you a lot. She won't stop talking about you at home."

I smiled and looked at her. She was kneeling on the ground and looking at the screen of her camera. Her dark hair a mess almost like her father's. She looked back and beckoned to me with her small dirty hand.

"Do you know the name of that flower?" I asked her once I got closer.

She looked past me and I looked up behind me. Edward stood there smiling at us and leaned down. His head was now right over my shoulder and I could feel the heat radiating from his skin despite the hot afternoon sun pouring down on us.

"What's it called?" Lizzy asked shading the sun from her eyes with her hand.

"It's a peony."

"It's pretty, it looks like pink feathers." She said carefully caressing the petals.

"Did you know that they bring good luck to marriages?"

"Really? It looks like a rose. But without thorns. Daddy can I have them when Ben and I get married." I started laughing and Edward's mouth dropped open. Seconds passed and she still looked at him with a questioning expression and waited for his answer.

"Honey, I'm not sure… I don't think Ben… what I mean is that I think you have to ask Ben about the two of you. Not mentioning I'd have to fire him."

"No! Ben is sooo nice."

"What do you think about Angela?" I asked just to get her going.

"Who?"

"Angela, mine and Ben's friend. Don't you remember her?"

"Oh, you mean Ang?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"She's nice."

"I heard she likes Ben."

"She does? Do you think he likes her?" she said a bit worried.

"Lizzy, do you want to go see the sea lions now?" Edward interrupted me and ended effectively the conversation. He was sweating.

"Yeah!" she said happily and began towing me by the hand.

"I think you still have a few years until you have to start worrying." I whispered to him and laughed.

"Do you know of a good place where I can buy a gun?"

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you." I joked.

We watched a few more animals, always following Lizzy's steps. She knew more about the place than any of the guides, and the small mistakes she made Edward corrected them automatically.

She got splashed with water and started screaming and laughing. I made a short video of her and I knew it sucked, but I would remember this no matter what.

Edward told me about Lizzy and her anecdotes. I noticed he liked talking about her. She would come from time to time and hold our hands, but most of the time she walked ahead and entertained herself. I noticed that from all things he told me, he excluded her mother as much as possible.

"She seems very independent."

"She is a lot like her mother in that way." He said looking at the girl.

"Really?"

"Didn't you meet Jessica?"

"Not really. I mean I saw her from far away, but if she stands right in front of me I wouldn't know who she was."

"Oh, I thought you had met her and her boyfriend at the airport."

"I thought they were married."

"There are certain things that I don't consider a marriage."

"The hard wall was back in place after that comment." I tried going back into regular and laugh filled conversation but he was only half paying attention. It had started to cool and the sun was setting. We walked into a building that held expositions. They were changed monthly; he explained when we sat inside.

"I thought we would meet with Angela and Ben today. He had asked her to the Zoo."

"I figured that with you here I would have enough eyes to watch Lizzy." He replied.

"She can be a handful."

"You don't know half of it."

"If she is anything like Alice I might have an idea of what you mean."

"Yeah, well. You're a guest. I have to deal with the both of them all summer long."

I laughed, I imagined Alice clinging on to one of Edward's legs while Lizzy hung on the other, but of them asking and talking and yay-ing at the same time.

"I think I just pictured it." I said laughing a bit harder.

He was looking into my eyes and I stopped after a seconds with a lazy smile on my lips.

"you want to know something weird?" he didn't wait, "sometimes your face shows exactly what you're thinking, but others when I am sure of what you're going to say next, you turn around and say something completely different from what I expected. It's annoying." He was smiling though/

"Well, I am sorry if you're one of the few that don't consider me an open book."

"Are there many people in that group?"

"Quite a few, but I'll let it go because you basically started talking to me 24 hours ago." I crossed my fingers, "I better not jinx it."

He laughed a careless laugh throwing his head back. I could see every muscle and inch of skin of strong neck. "I guess I had to apologize for that first day. Your article was great, by the way."

"Are you saying that so that I help you bring down your enemies?"

"No, I really think it was good. Lizzy saved it. Also the poem: Very good choice."

"See, that I did like. This week it'll be harder. I think people got intimidated by D3BU551."

"Not getting many letters?"

"Not one that has attracted my attention so far…"

"Why don't you write your own?"

"That'd be cheating."

"Don't you have a right to say what you mean?"

"I always do, but it wouldn't be fair for me to choose myself."

"Well, you could write it and if nothing good shows up use yours."

"Oh, my God! I can't believe Sir I-do-everything-by-the-book is actually suggesting that."

"I only gave you the idea… it's up to you to take it."

"I'd rather not." I laughed. "Why don't you write one and I'll put it there. You look like you might be good at that."

"I am no good with words." I seriously doubted that.

"I disagree. You always say exactly what you mean, and you don't think twice about it. It's like you knew before hand what people were going to ask and you prepared the perfect answer."

"Just years of practice in public speaking."

"I can imagine. I always stuttered in class when I had to present a project or discuss something."

"One always thinks one is doing badly. I'm sure you were doing alright."

I smiled, "thanks, but I better stick with writing and then having it proofread."

"And I guess I'll stick to managing." He sighed resting his back on the seat. Lizzy was looking closely at one of the amphibious in the exposition. I, honestly, was grossed out, but she seemed amused by the colourful animals there.

"What is it exactly that you do?"

"Among many things I own an insurance company." He said like it was nothing.

"Oh, wow!" I was surprised.

"You thought I was some heartless lawyer."

"Aren't you?"

"It was what I studied."

"Then I wasn't far off the mark. Just on the heartless part…"

He raised an eyebrow. "And to think that I apologized, I can't believe this." He said in mock disappointment.

"Oh, hush. It wasn't like you gave me reasons not to. And I didn't challenge you."

"Okay, fine. You're excused."

"Thank you."

"Dad, I'm tired. I wanna go home. Can we come back some other time?" she climbed onto his lap.

"Sure, Lizzy." He looked at me and I stood up.

"Let's get moving. Super girl needs to charge her batteries." She laughed when I tickled her ribs.

We walked to the car and started back. I felt bad that he had to go all the other way across town to drop me off but he insisted and wouldn't let me get off at the subway station.

Soft instrumental filled the silence in the car and Lizzy was snoring soon after.

"She can fall asleep so fast! I envy her."

"Well, she needs to gain energy somehow. Sleep it's like a switch for her. One second she is up and jumping, the next she's out like a light. It's a good thing sometimes." I had a very dark thought and immediately pushed it away. I should stay away from that path. Remember, making his marriage easier... making Alice and Tanya not kill each other before the wedding.

After my mental therapy was done we were almost at my place. When he parked I wished him good night and thanked him.

"Lizzy, baby, Bella is going home." He said softly moving locks of hair from her forehead.

He eyes fluttered open and then closed again. "'night Bella…" she said in between sighs and went back to sleep. I brushed her hair and waved goodbye to Edward.

I turned on my phone and checked my messages. One from Ethan:

'_Hey Bella. Are you done socializing with the boss' daughter? How about that date tomorrow? Call me back.'_

I pressed the send button and waited until he picked up the phone.

* * *

AN: Fanfiction wont let me give you pennies. but i can give you updates for your thoughts.

please review.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: i own nothing.; not even my laptop: if DELL get's pissed for what i keep in it they might take my rights as an user away... sigh. unfair, isn't it?

so... long time no see, eh? in my defence: school is a bitch and teachers are project pimps. they keep asking for more and more and more, and i think they'll give up their lives in order to mark all the crap they asked from us. at leat i handed it all, now it's their turn to pull their hair and ask themselves why did they leave us so many projects. serves them right.

i did start a new story. it's much more hard core than this one, so i suggest you read the summary first before oyou go into it. if you've read it and are wondering when it'll be updated i have to let you know that i haven't even started the second chapter for that one. for now this one (no matter how much it sucks,)is my priority. i need to get it out of my head. i do inttend in finishing the other and i hope to get started on the next chapter after thrusday.

for now, enjoy. and review.

* * *

Chapter 18:

It was Friday afternoon. I was going to meet Lizzy and Alice after work for a shopping trip. Apparently Alice was about to get even with Emmett and Lizzy with the prank thing.

"So, what are we shopping for?" Lizzy asked enthusiastically.

"Car paint." Alice replied without beating around the bush.

"What?" she asked sad. "But you said... and you promised… why didn't you tell me? I was going to go with my dad to the Arcade… I wanna go home." She whined.

"Your choice, either you endure this and an hour of walking around Home Depot or we're not shopping ever again." I knew that was a lie. There was no way that Alice could restrain herself from shopping with Lizzy no matter how mad she was about her lost clothes.

"Bella, tell her." She whined pulling on my hand.

"You should have thought about it before you decided to mess with us. Emmet owes me big." I told her with a straight face despite inside I was dying to give in to her pout.

"Don't look at her eyes, Bella." Alice warned me. "I know the tricks."

I started laughing and they both huffed.

We had gone about 15 miles away from the city to a very rusty car shop. Alice said part of the prank was that it wouldn't even be nice paint. It'll be cheap, ugly and hard to scratch off.

I had asked her if she didn't think she was taking it a bit too far but she looked at me and said.

"How do you feel about not being able to sleep in until a contractor comes to take that thing off? It doesn't look like Emmett is going to call him any time soon." I got her point and didn't ask her reasons again.

Ben wasn't driving us, Alice was. Over the past couple of days he met Angela for lunch every day, which left me walking around the building with nothing to do. I had made some friends at the office but nothing more. When I had nothing to do I usually emailed Ethan and he looked for jokes or interesting links to share with me. I had finally found a good poem to put in this weekend's section. It was from a 13 year old girl and it was about her father. I found it appropriate because this weekend would be Father's Day, so it worked out fine.

We had convinced Lizzy that we were going to this great place out of the city to shop because Alice was tired of the shops there. It was partly true. I would be bored of the malls if I shopped as often as she did.

Guys with tattoos, and smelling like beer, were all over the place and I was intimidated to say the least. Alice shrugged me off and went straight to the guy behind the counter. The guy didn't see us or had decided to ignore us because he was talking to someone else that had just showed up.

"Hey!" Alice called to him. He casted a glance our way and I felt Lizzy shrinking behind me.

"Yes, sugar?" the guys asked sounding annoying.

"I need some car paint."

"What brand?"

"Cheap… oh, I don't think that narrows it down. Does it?" I put a warning hand on her shoulder and smiled apologetically to the guy.

"What colour?" he almost barked at us.

I knew she had exactly in mind what she wanted because she described it to me, but apparently she wanted to torture Lizzy some more because she smirked and said, "I don't know. Why don't you show us what you have?"

Lizzy pulled on my paint leg.

"Can we go yet?" Lizzy whispered when I leaned down to her height.

"Don't you want to help pick the colour? That should be fun." I actually felt sorry for her. I think that if it was me I would be hiding under the car's seat by now. The shop wasn't exactly open. The ceiling was high and there were only sweaty big guys inside. The guy took us to an aisle that was anything but straight and had stains of paint on the floor. I thanked him before Alice got us ran over and looking like one of the stains on the floor.

"So, ladies…" she said looking up and down a shelf with paint of various colours. "What colour do you think will look good on Emmett and Lizzy?"

"You are not going to switch or bath gel, too. Are you?" Lizzy asked worried. We were a bit more original than that.

"Not exactly, but you can still pick the colour."

"What are you going to do?"

"I can't tell you that." Alice replied laughing and I was surprised Lizzy hadn't caught up on what we were going to do, with us being in a car shop and all. "So, Bella," Alice started twirling a sample in her hand, "for how long are you going to stop hanging out with Lizzy?"

"I think that as soon as I can sleep in and enjoy properly a morning." I said following her lead.

"I see. I think I'll wait until my clothes reappear. I mean, I will have to go shopping for more and it'll be fun, but what's the point on taking her with me if she is going to hide them afterwards."

"Auntie, I promise that I don't know where they are!" Lizzy said looking up at her.

"You could always ask Emmett, I'm sure he knows." Alice went back to browsing the shelf and I did the same. "Bella you haven't told me how your date went yesterday."

"We had fun, we went to this Italian restaurant and we talked. Getting to know each other, you know. The usual." I said shrugging it off. Ethan had been asked by Alice and Edward repeatedly where we went, and we had been having a laugh all day about it.

The one thing I couldn't understand was why would Edward care how it went? I expected it from Alice, maybe Ben, but not Edward. Oh well.

"Seen anything you like?" Alice asked Lizzy but she seemed to be interested in something happening on the next aisle. She was looking through the cans of paint at two guys. I started paying attention and listened to their conversation and the only thing I heard was a string of swears. Alice seemed to hear it too because she shot up and looked at me.

"You have to go tell them to shush their swearing."

"I am so not going there." I said with my eyes wide. "Those people eat humans."

"Be serious Bella." She sighed looking through the cans of paint once again.

"I am, and I mean it when I said I am not going there."

"Fine!" she huffed and went around the aisle. I held Lizzy back and walked a few steps behind her.

"Hi," Alice greeted them with a wave. "I was just wondering if you could moderate your volume or pay attention at you language because I have a 7 year old that might kill of a stroke her father if she repeats any of the words you just said. Thanks!"

She turned back and went back into the aisle.

"You see. It wasn't so hard, was it?" she asked.

"If it wasn't why is your breathing not slowing down?" I asked with a smirk. She waved me off and went back to looking through paints.

The guys were still talking in their version of English jammed together with car parts names that I didn't even know how to spell. The volume was lower, though, and I was glad for it.

"So, Lizzy. Made up your mind, yet?" she asked after a while.

Lizzy looked around desolated and shrugged. She went up to the first pastel colour she saw and stood by it. "This is the one."

"Are you sure? We wouldn't mind staying here for as long as you want." Alice said like it was a reward.

"Yeah, Lizzy. Take your time." I said placing a hand on her shoulder.

"I actually like that one." Alice said looking at the deep green of the paint Lizzy pointed to. I looked at her because that colour wasn't in our plans at all.

"really? I am leaning towards this one." I said holding out a pinkish peach colour. "Don't you like this one, Lizzy?"

"It's fine. Let's get them and go home."

"Not so fast." Alice pulled her back. "I want to get a few other things." She took out her phone and dialled Rosalie. She was more of an expert in this area and she'd tell us what else to get. Although she hadn't been directly pranked by Emmett, what he pulled on Tanya affected her job as Tanya's manager. She jumped on our boat quickly after that. We were sure we'd get him good. But it was harder to prank Lizzy. There wasn't much we could come up with, and we didn't want to be cruel or mean. We settled for just make her come with us to do some boring shopping. It was as torturous for Alice as it was for her, but it was all we could come up with. I was sure Edward wouldn't approve of some of the pranks that Alice suggested.

After Alice grabbed the few things we wanted we headed towards the cash register and Alice almost had a seizure when the guy told her he only accepted cash and that he 'ain't gonna charge no tax or shit'. I hadn't realized exactly what kind of place we ended up at, and that only fuelled my desire to get the fuck away from there.

The rest was history. We stopped at some cheap chilli place and got the cheapest thing in the menu. I could see Alice gritting her teeth and realized the prank was taking a bigger toll on her than it was on Lizzy. May we didn't plan this correctly.

I was still thirsty for blood. Emmett was going to pay for each one of my early mornings. Why did the northern hemisphere have to have such an early sunrise during the summer?

It was close to 2 in the afternoon when we finally made it into the city.

"Would you like to come up with us? I can drive you home afterwards." Alice offered when we dropped Lizzy off. She was babysitting tonight because Edward and Tanya were at some publicity event. For someone that was so afraid of media exposure, Edward for sure was in a dark path with Tanya and her rising career.

"Sure. I've never been in." I told her and started walking towards the lobby. When we entered two men immediately came forward, one carrying the mail and the other one the dry-cleaning. Was this a hotel or a condo? The pressed the elevator button for us and held the open button for us. Alice didn't even look at them and Lizzy kept her conversation with us as if they hadn't approached us.

Of course Edward would be living at the most expensive and secure building. Alice explained as we got rid of the guys. Not only that, right now he was renting one of the penthouses and two other suites. One of which were occupied by Amrusha and Dustin. Apparently he needed to be near his staff 24/7 even if he was taking a month off for the summer.

Alice and I still didn't give in to Lizzy. I could see Alice quivering when Lizzy asked to play dress up and I had to step in and remind her of her closet. I would get her to confess and make Emmett surrender before the end of the day.

"Wanna know what is Aunt Rose up to?" Alice asked Lizzy and she smiled.

Alice dialled and put the phone on speaker.

"Hello?" Emmett's drowsy voice came from the phone.

"Well, well, well. Look who is at home lazing it up." Alice said with hate in her voice. "Is Rose at home?"

"Who is this?" he asked still out of it.

"It's Alice, Emmett." Alice sighed. "Is Rose around?"

"No. She had something to set up today." He replied and yawned.

"Does she know you're at home?"

"Yes. I don't feel like having her get back at me for my prank and on top of that be mad because I was at home taking a nap while she was working."

"You're clearing your tracks. Smart move, brother. Who would have thought?"

"Me, of course." He replied and I rolled my eyes. That man will die of anything but modesty.

"Hi, Emmett!" I greeted cheerfully and Alice looked at me surprised.

"Hi…?" he sounded uncertain to whom he was talking to.

"It's Bella." I explained.

"Oh, what's up, Bella?"

"Up? Well there is this huge piece of… umm… piece of metal stuck to where my windows were supposed to be installed. Does that answer your question?"

He laughed. He freaking laughed a deep, throaty laugh. I could feel my face growing hotter with anger.

"How's your nap?" I asked sourly.

"It was great. I couldn't find the phone in how dark the bedroom was." He teased and I gritted my teeth. "What did you guys do?"

"Well, we went shopping with Lizzy."

"Oh, did you have fun? Did Alice get a new wardrobe yet?"

"We weren't clothes shopping. I had fun, but I don't know about Lizzy. Why don't you ask her?"

"Hi Lizzy." He greeted her, "is everything ok?" he sounded a little bit scared and that made me smile. Maybe he was afraid Lizzy knew too much. Which I was sure she did.

"Yeah. Shopping was scary and boring." She sighed.

"Really? Why?" he asked.

Before Lizzy answered Alice broke in. "we went to a car shop."

"Car shop?"

"Yeah, I needed a few things."

"You did?" he asked incredulous.

"Why is that hard to believe?" she asked mad.

"Because the closest you'd step to a car shop would be the same distance I'd be from Tanya when she was recently painted blue."

Alice and Lizzy giggled but I remained quiet.

"Oh, Rose is back." He informed us while we heard some noise in the background and then the sound of her voice.

"Can you put her on?"

"Hold up."

"Hi, girls." Rose greeted us once she was on the phone. "How was shopping?"

"I got everything we need." Alice told her. "When do you want to do it?"

"What about tomorrow night? He is going to a game and drinking afterwards. Chances are he won't be driving."

"I don't think that's gonna work." I told them honestly.

"Why?"

"Alice, we just told him that we had been in a car shop. I don't think he'll be leaving his car behind any time soon. Even if it means sleeping in it."

"Well, he would have been sleeping in it if Tanya had made an allergic reaction to his stupid joke." She huffed.

"I take it you're still paying him back."

"Oh, yes. And I will milk this for a very long time." She laughed an evil laugh.

We finished up with some minor details and decided to do it next week when he was at work. He would be taking Rose's car because she had to take his to be tuned. We only hoped that he didn't change his mind and decided to take it to the mechanic himself.

"So, when are you going to start asking me questions?" Alice said as we hung up.

"Questions about what."

"About everything. I can tell you're blown away by the entire thing."

"What thing?" I seriously thought my IQ was dropping or I had dazed off for a minute because it was like I skipped an entire conversation with Alice and she was now probing me on it.

"Look around you Bella." I did, "now tell me you're not curious about his quirk for security and the entire media issue."

"I've seen Edward is very secretive about his life. I really don't want to get on bad terms by prying."

"My brother needs to calm down. He is going to go prematurely bald if he doesn't." she sighed and then proceeded to tell me all the accommodations they had at his building.

"Ok, fine. I'll bite. How does he make money?" I finally asked.

"I don't know anymore." She said laughing and I scowled. "I think they just pay him for being him one day at a time."

"That can't be possible… I would have found a way to get that."

"Think about it. Don't celebrities get paid to show up at a club or hold a certain product?"

"Yes, but he isn't a celebrity. As far as I know he hasn't posted a porn video out there." I laughed.

"Not that you know of." Alice laughed.

"I'll be looking into that." I said before I could stop myself.

Alice decided to ignore the last comment and continued, "Anyways. He is kind of a celebrity in his own world. Kind of 'Upper-east-Side' gossip. Not published in the entertainment section of the newspaper, but spoken in every tea party or conference. The people that gossip about him are much more powerful than the rest of us mortals."

"Aren't you part of the circle?"

"I opted out when I started getting serious with Jasper. I would have had to marry some ass son of a dirty rich pig in order to be in there."

"It doesn't look like he attends many of those." I mused. He didn't strike me as the golf-playing businessman. And he wasn't a fat old man with a chain smoking problem.

"He doesn't, but he is still considered royalty. Every time he is seen at a place, the rest of them start going there. If he uses a certain company or software, it instantly becomes a hit."

"Wow."  
"Crazy isn't it?"

The door opened and startled us. We had been in the kitchen, hiding from Lizzy's pleading eyes.

"Dad's home!" Edward called from the door and I was instantly smiling, as if his phrase had been directed at me. it was stupid; I knew that, so I controlled my grin and looked back at Alice. Then I realized I was in Edward's personal space. My body went rigid waiting for his response.

"Alice, I see you girls are back" was the only greeting he gave her, and nodded my way. I returned the gesture and went back to my conversation with Alice.

"Lizzy got tired." Alice offered as a half assed explanation. Not including the part of fear of rude, muscled bike riding Hulks.

"Tired?" he asked suspiciously, "that's a new one."

"Hmm…" Alice nodded, suddenly busy with the cup on her hand; effectively avoiding Edward's look.

I knew if he looked my way he'd see we were up to no good. So I averted my eyes as well.

He exhaled loudly and went to take off his blazer.

_I bet many of the appearances he gets paid for are to the gym._ I couldn't stop the blush that came with the thought and shook my head to disperse it.

"I'm gonna get going, Ali." I told her as I snapped out of my ogling.

"No, come to diner with us." She wasn't asking, "It'll be fun." I should have guessed that Alice's description of 'fun' wasn't exactly the same as mine. But I had nothing better to do. And I was avoiding at all costs calling Carrie and whining about how boring my life was.

"Who are us?" I probed.

"Just, us. Who else?" I raised an eyebrow. She still hadn't said. "Fine," she sighed. "it's just Jazz, Lizzy, Edward and I. I don't think 'Megastar' will be joining us."

"Why?"

"'Cause I didn't invite her." She said with a shrug. I took it as a chance to deal with the Tanya dilemma.

"You really don't like her, do you?"

"You knew that."

"I meant to ask why?"

"'Cuz she's a bitch." She replied without missing a beat.

"You act kinda bitchy, too, when you're with her."

"I've never denied that the feeling is mutual."

"Why, though?"

"Well, Dr. Phil, you do remember the time shopping. Right?"

"That was one time."

"One time you were there."

"It didn't look like you guys do the whole 'shopping thing together' often."

"What's with the change of teams?" she asked annoyed.

"Because she is going to be part of your family very soon. The rest of you are so close it's kind of sad seeing her get pushed aside. She is more of an outsider than me, sometimes."

"She earned that."

"How so?"

"By being a bitch,"

"That was deep." I half teased. "You mean by fighting back when you, Lizzy and Emmett teamed up against her."

"First, it was Emmett the one behind the prank, and second why do you want to change my opinion? Can't you just accept it?" she asked and we both knew she was right.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I'm just thinking of Lizzy. I don't want to see her fighting with her stepmom every time she comes for vacation. What if she stops coming altogether?"

"Then I'll go visit."

"That's not the point. Why can't you try? Just one day." I chanced.

"Ew, no!" she said with a grimace and I had to laugh.

"Stop being childish. Just try one day and prove me wrong."

"No, that'd be gross. I don't lie. That'd be the biggest scene I've ever done." She shook her head and shuddered on purpose.

"c'mon. Just once. Try being nice to Tanya in front of Lizzy and see if she bites back."

"No."

"If you think about it it's a win-win situation."

"I see it more like a pain-puke one. How am I winning if she fakes it back?"

"A person can only fake for so long. If she isn't real she'll break eventually."

"I've been waiting for that to happen since she first showed up. No luck. She is as fake as her tan, with the difference that she's mastered being fake." She laughed.

"What do you have to lose?" I asked her trying to sell the idea.

"Several IQ points." She laughed.

"I bet you could break her if she's fake. If you really wanted it, that is." I started to use reverse psychology since nothing else seemed to be working.

"I'd like to break her neck; that is true."

I was about to scold her but Lizzy came in.  
"are you leaving, Bella?" she asked as she saw me with my purse and standing in the kitchen.

"I was going to, but now I'm going to dinner with you guys." I said.

"Yes!" she smiled and sounded very much like Emmett, "Aunt Alice, do you want to get ready together?" she asked hopeful.

"Sure, I'll get my clothes." Alice said sarcastically, "Oh, wait, maybe you could get them for me. Do you know where they are?"

Lizzy grimaced and slumped her shoulder. I heard my heart breaking at her stance as I saw her walk back to her room.

"I think I'm taking it too far," Alice mused and I could see unshed tears in her eyes.

"You think?" It was meant to come out sarcastically, but I was too sad by Lizzy's reaction to put any effort into it.

"Let's just get over it," she sighed, "clearly Emmett was the mastermind of the operation." She started cleaning up the remains of our snack.

We heard some laughs come from the bedroom and then Lizzy's unmistakeable shriek of laughter.

"I wonder what he offered her to make sure she didn't squeal." I mused, "The kid's got everything she could ever want."

"Maybe if we offered her the same she'd give up the info to me. I like this planning, I feel like we're in a James Bond movie." Alice giggled.

"What if it isn't something that he promised to give her, but something he promised to take away?" the thought crossed my mind fleetingly and I spoke while I still remembered it.

"Ooh, I like how you think. That'd be such an Emmett thing to do…" she said.

"Alice looking pensive, I don't want to know what's about to happen." Edward's voice startled me.

"Hey, we wouldn't need to conspire if your little girl gave up the info."

"Who's playing good cop here?" he asked me and I shrugged.

"I suppose me." I laughed. "But we aren't really grilling her. It's more like giving her the silent treatment until she cooperates."

"That's not any better." He protested.

"Did she 'puppy-eyed' you into this?" Alice asked with a raised eyebrow. We had been listening to them playing in her bedroom for some time before he showed up.

"Not exactly…" he trailed off. "I really think she doesn't know where your stuff is."

"She could still talk to Emmett and tell him to knock it off."

"Maybe she doesn't want to ruin his fun."

"You do realize he'll play a prank on the boys eventually. And with your birthday coming up I wouldn't be surprised if some strippers gave you a wake-up call." Alice laughed.

"somehow I am more worried about what you'll do to his car." He said with a smile.

"I take it that Lizzy told you about our shopping spree."

"yes, and I promise not to say anything as long as I don't get blamed for it." he crossed his heart. "If…" he began.

"I knew it." Alice muttered, "you know, you should be thanking me that I am the one to try and stop him, not blackmail me into anything."

"oh, shut up. you don't know what I'll ask." I was just standing there watching them interact. It was entertaining. "I want you to design Tanya's dress as if you were the one to wear it."

"_YOU ARE KIDDING ME!_" Alice screeched and we both covered our ears. "_I AM NOT DOING ANYTHING FOR HER!_" this might have just made my idea of getting them to coexist much easier.

"Tone it down Alice. You're being dramatic."

"I am so not being dramatic that it's not even funny." She said glaring at the smile pulling up the corners of my mouth. "Is that your joke on me? Please tell me I'm being pranked." She begged and he shook his head still smiling.

"Why would you even trust me?" she asked sceptical. "First of all I'm not a recognized designer. Second we hate our guts to pieces, and third what makes you think she would wear something I designed or made?"

At least she was asking the right questions.

"Alice, you may not be a recognized designer, but you've got great fashion sense. I trust you because you're my sister, and if I have to hear Tanya and Rose talk about how they can't find the perfect dress I think I'll shoot myself."

"that doesn't answer my last two questions."

"well you two have to work that out…"

"what would you do if I dressed her in a curtain?" she asked.

"I'll tell everyone it was your horrid design."

"touché." She said lightly punching him.

"so, we have a deal?"

"yeah, whatever makes you happy…" Alice sighed.

"you have to teach me how to do that." I told him with admiration.

"it's a Cullen thing." He winked at me and I giggled. I bet he could charm an Al Qaeda group out of their caves if he wanted to. Damn him.

"Now, I do need you to go and make peace with my sulking daughter. You guys are taking it too far." He said sternly.

"yeah, we were talking about that. I'll go, but she is not innocent. You're just falling right where she wants you." Alice mock warned him.

"And I couldn't be any happier. Now go! I think my seven year old daughter couldn't have possibly stolen your clothes or done whatever he did to Bella's apartment."

"She was in it. She is one of _his_." Alice whispered and I had to laugh. "Bella, you don't know what we're up against. Although she is an angel I won't forget last year's prank for a very long time…'

"What did they do?" I asked laughing.

"She put hot sauce on the lid and border of every single glass, bottle or cutlery in the house. It's safe to say that we were all red hot with anger."

"She didn't do that." Edward countered, that was all Emmett.

"Really? How come she was carrying her own cutlery and water bottle everywhere in the house?" Alice turned to him.

"Ok, maybe he warned her. It would be cruel to do that to a kid."

"It would be cruel to do it to your parents AND grandparents."

"Fine, she was in it." he sighed, "don't blame me for loving my daughter despite all the pranks she pulls on me."

"we don't, but you need to let her know that it's not _always_ funny. What hey did to my closet has no excuse."

"they were just clothes, Alice." He said and she gasped, "I bet half of them you weren't going to wear them anyways."

"Yeah, maybe." She huffed, "But like you said: 'half of them'. I wouldn't mind getting the other half back."

"Quit stalling and go talk to her." He ordered and she made a face.

"ok, ok. I'm going." She left and I busted laughing.

He sighed and looked at me. "Do you see what I grew up with?" he asked, "and people wonder why I moved out of my house as soon as I could."

I laughed, "but it seems she's here most of her time, anyways."

"that's now in the summer. When Lizzy isn't here it's a complete different story."

I nodded. "any news from Sonya?" I asked. I had thought a lot about the baby lately. It didn't help that, with the sun out and summer starting, mothers were walking around with baby strollers everywhere.

"no, nothing." He sighed, "we haven't even heard from a baby being brought to a doctor for a monthly check up. That could be both good and bad." He finished.

"I know what you mean. Maybe they left the city."

"that could be a possibility."

We fell into silence and neither of us attempted to start small talk. Sooner than I thought the buzzing that I felt in the bar some nights ago was back in place. I felt like I had regained something I had been void of. I had been missing it, but I just didn't know it.

I looked back at him and he was looking—staring—at me, just like before. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I didn't break his gaze, partly because I was trapped in the turmoil of his eyes and partly because I had a feeling in my gut that this would lead to disaster. I was a sucker for trouble.

I just proved that a person can only go for so long without blinking. I gave up and closed my eyes briefly before looking back at him. Apparently he—just like the carving of Adonis—didn't need to blink.

His eyes burned, smouldered, lifted and carried me away. They were strong and fearful, but you couldn't stop yourself from being hypnotized by them. Only when my hand fell asleep I realized I had been putting all my weight on it as I leaned towards him. I stopped myself instantly and took a cleansing breath.

When I looked back he was staring at his hand. More precisely at his wedding band. The simple and tasteful band shined in the light and I was more aware of it than ever.

"I have to--…"

"How's everything--…" we both started at the same time.

We laughed and he motioned for me to go ahead.

"I was going to say that I was surprised of your request for Alice." I told him with an uneasy smile.

"She's my sister. I trust her. I hope she puts her differences aside and try to understand that not everything has to go as she planned it." he explained and I nodded. I wasn't expecting him to actually answer so openly.

"You seem put out by my answer." He read my mind.

"I knew I was overstepping my boundaries, it shouldn't really matter to me how you decide to work with your family."

"I think you're not giving me a chance. I already proved I accepted you in." he said sternly. "that means if you have an opinion you're free to say it and not have me snap back at you."

"I know, and I'm sorry I was so quick to judge." I apologized, "what was it that you wanted to say?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"I was wondering how the poem choosing was." He asked. That was one thing he was impressed I did. I had learnt that from the time at the Zoo.

"It's going." I sighed. "for this week I think we could have done better."

"No luck finding something that you thought was '_it'_." he concluded and I nodded.

"I hope that this week's poem makes people want to write," I told him honestly.

"Did you put one of yours like I said?"

"I rather not get fired, thank you very much."

"They're not going to fire you for that."

"We don't know that…"

"Do you speak any languages?"

"Just the basic Spanish from school. Why?"

"You could work part time with me. many of the clients when they call in they feel more comfortable if they speak their first language. Makes them feel we can relate to them better. Not that we don't otherwise." He amended at the end.

"Quick to cover for the 'heartless' joke." I laughed and he winked.

"I might never know if you have that Dictaphone of yours with you." He laughed. I realized that if he had said that comment 3 days ago we would have been yelling at each other at the top of our lungs. But right now I could only lean back on the counter and watch him as he laughed. I was mesmerized by him. Just like you follow the clock as it sways from side to side. I was afraid I would start reciting whatever he wanted me to say any moment now. I snapped out of it and cleared my throat. "Do you think they've forgiven each other by now?" I asked pointing towards the bedroom.

"I don't know. Lizzy loves Alice, but she is usually hard to make forgive." He sighed. I guess that was one of the reasons she didn't like Tanya. Maybe Tanya made a mistake too early and Lizzy took it upon herself to hold the grudge.

"Does that mean I'll have to grovel for long?" I asked suddenly worried. Maybe this was the worst idea Alice and I could have come up with to get back at her.

"No, she's not mad at you… how did you do that?"

"Don't ask me, I'm about to go buy a lottery ticket and see if my luck is sticking for long. Chances are I'll fall on my way there but I'll try anyways."

He laughed and sat on a stool next to mine. "you do seem to have some problem with walking on flat surfaces. You still joke about it, though. It's refreshing."

"I try not to dwell on it." I told him, "I do curse like a sailor some times, though."

"As long as my girl isn't picking any of that up…" I didn't tell him that his girl had the chance to increase his slang knowledge today at the car shop.

Then Alice showed up with Lizzy by her side.

"Oh, my!" Alice put a hand over her heart. "they aren't ripping each other's throats out."

"Alice!" Edward scolded her but she just waved him off.  
"We can act like adults, you know?" I told her glancing back at Edward. "it's good to see you two are doing the same."

"Yeah, it's unfair how easy you got off the hook."

"I'm sure that's not true. I bet Lizzy will make me put a few extra hours of hanging out in our schedule." I said and winked at her. This was my way of saying sorry. I'll give her what she wanted and I'll get to hang out with her.

"How will you make it through such punishment?" Alice said sarcastically but I ignored her.

"Are we ready to go?" Edward asked.

"I think we are as hungry as we'll get." Alice replied and I nodded.

"Let me check what Tanya wants." He said pulling out his cell phone.

He went to the living room to talk and I stayed in the kitchen fiddling with my purse.

"Dad and you weren't fighting for real?" Lizzy asked and my head snapped up. she wasn't supposed to know we weren't getting along at the beginning.

"It's all okay now." I told her sincerely.

"Good, 'cause I don't think I could use your name in many more sentences even if I wanted too." My jaw dropped.

Had Lizzy been the one responsible for Edward's opinion change? Why was I even asking myself that? I was sure she was. That was the only logical explanation. My next thought? I was flattered. What 7 year old cares enough about a person, that could very well be her parent, to make her own father change his opinion on her?

"Wow, Liz. I didn't know you'd do that. I knew that I had to get along with your dad because, well, for obvious reasons. But I would have never thought in a million years that you could do something like that for me. it seems I have so much to thank you for."

"Great, you can start by adding those hours you promised to the schedule." She said and I laughed. I could hear her saying that her people would get back at my people.

My cell rang and I fished it out of my purse.

It was Ethan. I really didn't want to pick up.

I looked at Alice for advice. She gave me a tentative smile and I thought over Carries words.

_Flashback_

"_I think he likes you." Carrie said as we looked at a boy sitting in the campus library._

"_Why is he even here?" I wondered, "He doesn't strike me as the type that would come to the library to study."_

"_I told you, because he likes you." She said punching me, "if the guys is crazy enough to come to the library and get his rep screwed by reading a book like you, it must mean something." _

"_Somehow I think I should be insulted by what you just said, but I don't know why…" I glared at her._

"_That's because I used the right words. No get over there and talk to him."_

"_I can't." I sighed._

"_Why?" she asked._

_I looked at her. She blinked at me._

"_John." I chewed it and fed it to her like penguins do to their babies. I mean, no one could forget for a second John and I had a constant thing going on. He made sure every guy in campus was aware that if they ever came near me when we were in a break he would cut his balls and set them on fire and then make them eat them. _

_When I complained he was ruining my life he said he was the jealous type and that I was the type it was hard to get over. I found it really sweet. Don't ask me why._

"_Aren't you guys in a fight now?"_

"_Yeah." When weren't we?_

"_Exactly. While you wait for Mr. Right you can have fun with Mr. Wrong. Although in this case I am not sure who is right or wrong."_

_End flashback_

Carrie had never hid the fact that she hated the way John and I toyed around with each other. As long as we kept going back to us, I didn't really mind. Until a couple of months ago, of course.

I sighed and picked up the phone.

"Hi Ethan." I greeted trying to make my voice happy. I sounded so fake Alice gagged…

"Hey, Caller ID"

"If you've got it, flaunt it." I laughed… he didn't. Ok, then…

"So, I was wondering if you wanted to get together this weekend." He asked.

Alice shook his head up and down vigorously and I looked at her scared. I guess I wanted to get together.

"Sure, what are we doing?" I asked.

"There is this concert that we're going to. I thought you might enjoy it."

"Great. Who else is coming with?"

"I think Amrusha and Dustin are in. I don't know about Victoria or Dexter for that matter."

"That's cool. Right now I'm pretty close to Amrusha's place." I told him.

"Really? Where are you? I'm downtown too; we could get a drink or something."

"Actually I'm going to dinner with Alice and Elizabeth." I didn't know if I should invite him or not.

"Oh, socializing with the enemy. I see how it is." He teased and I laughed.

"If you play your cards right I might put a word in for you at our table. Your boss will be there." I laughed.

"Nah, that's ok. I'm trying to live it up this week of vacation. Having dinner is not in my list of priorities right now."

"Drinks are, though."

"Oh yes, they are." He said. "hey, I'm going to go into a tunnel, I'll call you tomorrow with the details." He said

"Sounds good. Bye."

"See—," his goodbye cut off. Oh well.

"At least he didn't call me from a date." I sighed closing the phone.

"Actually, Ethan can be a slut, but he is not a two timing one." Alice said and I looked around to see if Lizzy was near.

"We're clear. Don't worry." She said and I sighed relieved.

"I was wondering how old he was. He looks much younger than me." I told her.

"He is." She said and my mouth hung open. Great. "Not much younger, Bella. Don't worry. But what are a couple of years worth?"

"I know. I just found it weird that he'd go for me. Even if he ran out of eligible women in the Chicago district."

"That's hard to believe. Sadly it seems a man never runs out of women in this city." She said. "Gotten laid yet?" she asked and my eyes bugged out. Had she not learned to filter her words with Lizzy around? I looked around but Lizzy was nowhere in sight. I let out a sigh of relief.

"I think you need to teach me how to do that." I seemed to always say the wrong things at the wrong time when it came to children. However with Lizzy it was very different. We were very in sync with each other; there were no awkward moments.

"ok, let's go." She said and called to Edward. He was sitting in the living room watching TV, having finished already his talk with Tanya.

The restaurant wasn't loud, despite it was a Friday. I was the one that took the longest to pick something from the menu because I had never been there.

The waitress came and flirted shamelessly with Edward. I wasn't even fazed by it. My guess was that he was used to it. However seeing as he had two women and a child by his side you'd think that stop them. That wasn't the case.

Conversation was strained, Lizzy and Alice led it while I answered when it was required. I avoided at all costs fall back into Edward's hypnotic gaze.

"So, are you coming tomorrow?" Alice asked me.

"I don't know…" I told her honestly. It turned out tomorrow was Edward's birthday and they were hitting some club. They had reserved the VIP area and Emmett promised to "provide the adult entertainment for Eddie-boy". This translated to 'buy Edward a lap dance from the first girl that he set eyes on'.

"It'll be fun seeing…" '_Tanya's face'_, she mouthed that part, "if he follows through."

"You think that'll be his prank?" I asked them both.

"Probably," Edward sighed and raked a hand through his hair. Lizzy was engrossed by her colourful food and wasn't paying much attention to us. At least it seemed that way. I prayed they knew her enough to tell when she was listening or not.

"I thought you guys wanted to do the… thing… tomorrow." I told her.

"But what you said stopped us. He won't be leaving IT alone any time soon." Alice said, "Summer is just starting. We have time."

"I think if you don't return the prank he'll realize that it's no fun and stop doing it." Edward said.

"You've never returned the prank and it hasn't helped at all." Alice told him and he sighed frustrated.

"We need to get him good." She finished.

"Fine, I'm going tomorrow…" I said.

"Great!" Alice cheered.

"…If…" he shoulders slumped, "you follow through with what I asked earlier." I finished.

I didn't feel like being in the middle of a club cat fight.

"deal." She said and shook my hand.

_God help me. _

_

* * *

_

_AN: dissappointed? mehbeh... either way we're getting somewhere. _

_please review_

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: I am so sorry that i havent updated in two months. but i'm in a faraway communist country that forbids internet... you guessed it, i'm in Cuba.  
on the good side: i'm getting tons of hands on experience in the make out department... *wicked grin* a reminder, if you're underage, go search for some K+ stuff. because rating exists for a reason. not all rules are meant to be broken.**

* * *

Chapter 19:

"Gah!" I yelped sitting up in bed.

Welcome to a new day.

I checked the time and groaned: too freaking early. I let myself fall back on the bed and, after bumping my head on the headboard, I tried remembering what woke me up in the first place.

I came up with nothing, so I took off my top and threw it over my head. Why was it so damn hot in this room? The window was open, so were other windows in the apartment. Air was circulating, so: why the hell couldn't I go back to sleep?

The light streaming through my windows. That's fucking why. I was going to kill Emmett.

Then I heard the unmistakeable ring of my cellphone. I groaned sitting up and getting it.

"Hello?" I half yawned.

"Are you sleeping, Bella?" Carrie's chipper voice asked.

"Not anymore… What's up, Care?" I said rubbing my eyes awake.

"Nothing much. Sorry I hadn't checked-in in a while, but I had this huge muse hovering over me and couldn't let go."

"And now that she's gone you've come to the well of drama, eh?" I half joked.

"Still pissed about that, I see." She chuckled. "Actually I just wanted to know how you were, not that you deserve it. You know my email by heart. Why haven't you emailed me at least?"

"Everything is good. Had a bit of a scare at work, but you know that I overreact a little bit sometimes, and that's all it was."

"How's the social going?" she asked and I could hear the sound of the brush against the canvas in the background.

"Social is going great. Don't be alarmed if you see me in the EW cover this week!" I laughed.

"What the fuck is EW?" charming, isn't she?

"Seriously? I can't believe you're my BFF… I am a journalist, and you don't know what EW is? I am hurt."

"Yeah, yeah… whatever… what is it, though?" if there was something she couldn't stand was a mystery. Even when typing the two letters in Google would bring more Entertainment Weekly links than she could ever imagine.

"Entertainment Weekly, Carrie." I sighed, "You really need to watch some TV, you know?"

"Maybe after I finish my 'bucket list'…" she laughed. She didn't _have_ a 'bucket list'. She was this kind of person that made no plans whatsoever. It was kind of a boomer sometimes, because when you asked her if she was doing something at any given date she would shrug her shoulders and say: 'I don't know'. And if, for some reason, inspiration came, she dropped everything and gave in to it… I swear that if you asked her what were her plans for the day she'd think about it for a minute and then say 'the only thing I schedule are my showers'. Making plans was not very effective. I had to show up at her place and call her and tell her what we were doing for the day. God, I missed hanging out in the local places that I knew everything about.

"Funny. So, how's your social?" I asked and decided to get her mad, "I mean, now that I'm gone, who goes hunting with you?"

"Fuck you, I have tons of friends, and you know it." she laughed.

"All of which are suicidal vegans, that refuse to do anything that might affect their environment."

"Wow, you're getting mean… or is it that you're braver on the phone?" she laughed.

"Umm… the last one?" I said sheepishly after being called out on my bluff. "But tell me, how's the social?"

"I'm in the middle of a creative streak. The 'social' knows this and makes itself scarce."

"Oh, right. How is that going? Can I get a cut from the profits?" I laughed.

"You get to have me visit you in august. Isn't that much better?" she laughed.

"It is." I said truthfully all joking aside. "I miss going to place where people know me. Or at least that I know what is served." I sighed.

"Hey, don't get melancholic on me. You said you had friends. Or a crew you hang out with. That's pretty damn good considering you've been there for two weeks. So, cheer up and tell me about the hot guy that's won the lottery and got a date with you."

The next half hour went on about me practically dissecting Ethan; the last fifteen minutes of that hour were Carrie laughing when I confessed that he was younger than me.

"Well, on the 'pro' list, he seems to have lots of experience. I can't imagine you teaching him his way through sex. Your limbs would go numb when all your blood rushes to your face!" she laughed and I could hear her banging her hand against something.

"That's it. Go back to make some money off my misery. I liked you better when you felt guilty!" I said laughing and hung up.

I realized I hadn't asked about John or Lily, and that made me smile a little bit more.

I had been getting beeps from text messages throughout the conversation, but I didn't want to cut Carrie off and call Alice back.

I checked and had three new messages. I started by the last one and read Alice's capitalized text.

At the end of it I was surprised she had somehow found out about my middle name and left my ears ringing with only reading the text. I should call her fast, I realized.

"Finally! What were you doing, woman? I've been trying to call you. Why aren't you at home this early?"

"Good morning, mother," I teased. Truth is, I had foreseen my phone ringing early in the morning since we were going to a club tonight. Therefore I had decided to unplug it the night before.

"I am at home, Alice. My phone is muted." I explained.

"You sneaky thing." She chided.

"So, what's up, Alice?"

"Have you called Ethan yet?"

"No…" he would throw the phone out the window if I woke him up this early. I decided to play with her; I was in a good mood. Sue me. "Have you called Tanya?"

"I have." She said off-handily.

"You did?" I was surprised.

"Yes, we were talking about Edward this morning and I called her a bitch."

"Ha ha." I mock laughed. It was kind of funny, though. "We had a deal. So get to it."

"As soon as you call Ethan and convince him to come with."

"Alice, I think the last thing he wants to do is hang out with his boss during his vacation."

"Nonsense. We're cool people. How can he not like going out with us?" the doors to Ego-land were opened, ladies and gentlemen.

"Wow, Alice. You'll die of anything but modesty." I laughed, "And FYI I asked him last night if he wanted to come with and he said he didn't want to."

"That was last night. And it was a lame diner. If he did accept he would have disappointed the image of him I have in my mind. I could have told you his answer. Tonight we're going clubbing. He will never say no to that." She said and then laughed. "Just mention the ultimate three letters."

"Which are?" I asked hitting myself in my forehead. Was I really thinking about bribing the poor guy? Apparently I was…

"VIP, Bella. VIP." She said like a master teaching the pupil.

"I see. So, you're asking me to bribe the guy with alcohol and a lap dance?"

"No, Bella. We never 'bribe'." She sighed, "We offer, and let it slip that it will be full of hot guys willing to take part in our little outing. Just because it's true."

"Does Edward even want him there? It's his birthday after all."

"We don't really celebrate his birthday. We go out and have fun, but he doesn't get the whole 'singing and cake' experience."  
"Except for Emmett and his lap-dance present." I finished.

"You got it," she laughed.

"So, why do I have to invite him? Why can't you?" I asked.

"Because, he gave you his number. I have it just for emergencies purposes."

"Ok, I'll call him. You call Tanya now." I agreed.

"Why?" she whined.

"I don't know. Make plans to do something special tonight, ask her about the weather. I don't care. I want the two of you not pulling from my arms tonight."

"I can't believe this." She muttered, "Fine. But you owe me."

I gulped, "Fine. Bye now."

"Bye, Bella!"

I took a deep breath and went to take a shower and get ready for the day. After I was done with breakfast and considered it was late enough for Ethan to have rested all of his partying last night, I picked up my phone and called.

"Hey Bella!" he greeted cheerful

"Who is the Caller ID now, eh?" I teased.

"I walked right into that one, didn't I?" he laughed.

"That you did. So, I'm going straight to the point-"

"Thank you! Why do women always go through an entire life story before getting to the point?"

"Well, right now you're stopping me from doing so." I laughed.

"But, really why that is?" he asked.

"Ok, maybe is for the same reason that guys have A.D.D. in their genes. Now let me speak." I laughed.

"Good theory. Ok, I'll shut up."

"Great. So, I was calling to ask you about the plans for tonight. I know I said we could go for a drink, but Alice kind of tricked me and now I have to go clubbing with them."

"Oh, I see." He said sounding a bit disappointed. "We can go out next weekend."

"No, wait. I was calling to see if you wanted to come with me. You said that as long as I was with you there was no problem for me fitting in." I teased.

"So, you just want me there so you can socialize." He teased.

"Busted." I laughed. "But serious now: will you come?"

"Sure. What time should I pick you up?"

"Eight thirty sounds good to you?"

"Yeah, that's fine."

"I'll have the details to where we're going by then."

"Is it for Edward's birthday that you guys are going out."

"Yeah, that's what Alice said. There is also the thing of her engagement. They hadn't had a proper celebration yet."

"Oh, then I think I know where they're going."

"Really? Any hints on what should I wear?"

"You should never let a guy in charge of your outfit, Bella. Didn't Alice teach you that?" he laughed.

"I kind of know that." I said, "I'll either end up completely mismatched, or dressed like a stripper, or both."

"Exactly." He laughed.

"But I don't really want to give Alice any reason to talk my ear off about outfits or force me to go shopping today."

"Maybe you should call Angela for that. The name of the club is Alexander. It's a private club for the VIP of the VIP in the city. Jeans and a rock t-shirt is what I'd wear there. But you might have a different choice."

"That's great, Ethan. Thanks. I'll call Ang and ask her. Has she been there with Ben?"

"Yeah, but you can't speak about what happens down there anywhere. You'll see celebs and important people and it's private for a reason."

"Got it. Bye now,"

"Bye, Bella. See you tonight."

I dialled Angela's number while I stripped my bed.

Ang was coming with us tonight, I didn't know why, but I had the sneaky suspicion that Ben was some kind of bodyguard for Edward, because he was ALWAYS wherever Edward Cullen was.

She said that the place was pretty chill and that a pair of fashionable jeans and a blouse should do just fine. I told her that Ethan had mentioned t-shirts and she said that I'd better wear a blouse and not have Alice trying to get me to go to the washroom and change my clothes.

I laughed. She probably would.

I spent the rest of the day lazing around, checking my email and doing laundry.

At five in the afternoon Alice called.

"As you can see we don't have time to go shopping now, so, tell me what are you wearing and how is your makeup doing so far? What are you going to do with your hair?" she shot the stream of questions without saying hi.

I was still in my pyjamas and reading in the den, and so I told her.

For the next five minutes I took the phone off my ear and continued reading until I heard her voice calm down. "Are you done?" I asked her calmly marking the page and closing the book.

"What do you mean you are not doing your make up yet? Have you even showered?"

"I did." I replied, "This morning."

She huffed and gave me orders on how to wash my hair and start doing my make up as soon as possible, because time was not stopping for me.

"If you want to look fabulous, Bella, you have to put some effort into it."

"Are we going to Alexander's?" I asked her.

"Yes, did Ethan tell you?"

"Yes, he also told me that the scene there is pretty chill. I am not going to dress as if I was going to a gala if the rest of the people there are relaxed and enjoying themselves."

She sighed. "Fine. What are you thinking of wearing?"

"I have black skinny jeans, a navy blouse and some accessories thought out."

"Ok, that's a start. Maybe you're not a lost cause after all."

"I'll take that as a compliment, because you've hit my self-esteem too many times in just two conversations today."

"You have nothing to worry about, Bella. You are gorgeous. You even snatched a _younger_ man. What are you so worried about?"

"I am not afraid of getting old, Alice. But when I'm all day long surrounded by supermodels, you can see how that can be a bit intimidating." I explained.

"Are you serious? Just ask Ang what happened the last time she dared to put herself down in front of me. She got a wake up call Alice-style. Don't make me do the same to you." She threatened, "You're gorgeous and I'm not giving you a pity party just because you are not part of the entire population of clones that Hollywood is."

"What do you mean?" I asked, my journalistic interest creeping up. The need to know, to ask the questions.

"Well, look at all the girls in Hollywood. They're almost the same." She explained. "Wearing the same clothes, the same blond hair; they even have the same nose because they went to the same doctor." She explained, and I could see the pattern she was talking about. "But enough of my rant. Go get ready. What time is he picking you up?"

"How did you know he said yes?" I was surprised.

"I know everything." She laughed. "What time?" she asked again.

"I told him eight thirty."

"Ok, I'll call you later."

"Bye, Alice."

"Love you!"

"So, how was last night?" Ethan asked as he veered down the highway. He had picked me up right on time and we had made as much small talk as it had been possible. We even talked about past emails that we had shared. How sad was that?

"It was great. We had dinner with Edward." I told him and went back looking out the window.

He took the next exit and minutes later we were riding down the lit streets of downtown. He then turned into a residential area and turned to me. "Ask Alice if they're there yet?"

I dialled and Alice picked up.

"Hey, are you guys there yet?"

"Yes, we're just parking now. We'll meet inside." She replied and hung up.

I turned to him and passed along her reply.

"Great." He said smiling and turned to a cul-de-sac that had a private basketball court at the end. He got out and opened the door of the fence. To my amusement it opened a much larger door than I had expected.

A gate, to be more precise. He climbed back in and I looked at him expecting an explanation. He smirked and drove the car right into the court.

My mouth hung open when I saw two very well known cars parked under the shadows of the humongous branches of the trees planted along one side of the court.

"What is this?" I asked laughing at the absurdity of it all.

"That's not all." He laughed, "You need a special key to open the garage. We drove right in front of the club in our way here. It's two blocks away. Did you see it?"

"no." I replied looking around the court.

"c'mon. We're kind of late." He said pulling me along.

We walked about two blocks down the same way we came and he stopped in front of a non descript door. In fact all the doors in that area looked the same.

All of them the same colour, same layout.

"We're here?" I asked turning to him.

"yep." He said knocking on the door.

"Is it a private dinner? I thought you said—," I started.

"It's a club," he said cutting me off. "Just not a conventional one." He winked at me and knocked again.

A small vent opened and a pair of eyes peered out.

"Good evening?" a grandfather's raspy voice said.

"Hello. We're looking for Alexander." Ethan greeted.

"Who is asking?"

"You can tell him it's a friend of Edward Cullen." He replied without missing a beat.

The eyes disappeared from the slit of the door and a minute later the door was opened.

"They're waiting for you." The man said and led us down the hall and into a basement.

I felt like I was in an action movie. Passwords, hidden parking spots, next thing they'll call me Pink Panther or any other agent name.

I snickered and told Ethan so. He laughed and wound an arm around my waist as we entered another room where Alice was sitting on Jasper's lap, Rosalie and Tanya were huddled together talking and Edward was shooting glares at Emmett.

Nothing new, I thought.

"Hi! Sorry we made you wait." I said and kissed Alice's cheek when she stood up and hugged me.

"Don't worry, we just got here." Tanya said greeting me, too. "We carpooled with Emmett and Rose."

"Hey Bella! Mom hasn't called me in to help out with any labour force regarding your apartment. Are you all done?" Emmett said crushing me in a hug and shaking Ethan's hand.

"No, we're not done. But we might be calling you up soon." I told him, "There is a metal bar that we hadn't noticed before."

"We're thinking about tying it to one of your balls, tie the other one to a car and then pull." Rosalie told him as she passed him and came to say hi.

"We're ready to go in, then?" Jasper said standing up.

"Yes. Let's go in." Alice grabbed his hand and pulled us all down the hallway. She turned to Ethan and asked him for they key.

"What key?" I whispered to him.

"The one from the parking. She usually hides it there until everyone has had a chance to park. The last person to come brings it in." he explained as he handed it to Alice.

"This gets weirder by the minute." I told him as we walked through the doors.

"I'm glad you guys could make it." Edward's voice came from right above my neck and I spun around surprised.

I was met face to face—face to chest would be more accurate—with Edward's black button up and his scent. Intoxicating, highly arousing scent.

Intoxicating? Arousing? What the hell was wrong with me? I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts.

"Bella?" Ethan asked. I had been staring at Edward's mouth move and hadn't heard the question.

The music was pretty loud, so I used it as an excuse. "Sorry, I didn't hear you. What was that, again?"

"I asked why Angela couldn't make it. She left my boy Ben without a date." Edward chuckled.

"Is Ben here?" I asked dodging the question. In truth I had no idea what was going on with those two.

"Yes, he is by the bar." He signalled over my shoulder and I nodded. Of course Ben would be here.

We kept walking in and I was pulled by Alice and Rosalie to the dance floor.

"Girls, this is really a bad idea." I warned them, "I mean really, really bad."

"Oh, c'mon. Have some fun. My fun is almost over now that I'm engaged." Alice said still pulling on my arm leading me to my impending doom.

I caught a glimpse of Tanya's form weaving through the tables trying to catch up with us.

'_Save me'_ I mouthed to her and she laughed. She had two water bottles in her hands and that alerted me. I didn't want to dance enough that I would _need_ water; and I was counting on said water breaks to sit at the table and relax a little bit.

We got to the small dance floor and placed ourselves in a far corner. The girls wanted to chat and we didn't want the music disturbing us.

We danced all four in a circle and in pair. Alice and I, Rosalie and Tanya.

The last two were not dancing, they were straight up frotaging.

The guys around us loved it. Famous people get horny, too. You could say.

Eventually I could have some words with Alice and asked how things were going with Tanya. She made belching sounds and I warned her of our deal.

Eventually I needed the water, and something to drink. My intake of alcohol in the past few weeks had been completely unbalanced. First there was the normal, casual drinking. There were the nights of sleeping over at Carrie's as an excuse to avoid John's questions as to why I was drunk, and then I got here. Zero alcohol. None what-so-fucking-ever. Not being able to sleep. The stress of a complete new life, it was all pulling me down.

Whoever said a fresh start was a good thing was fucking wrong. A fresh start meant building your life from scratch and carry the weight from the previous one. Just without the visual reminders.

I signalled that I was going to rest for a while and made my way back to where the guys were sitting.

Once at the bar I saw no one there. I looked around trying to find them, but got nothing.

The place wasn't crowded per se, but since the dance floor was right by the bar people were moving constantly. They needed some help in the layout of this thing.

Oh, great. I was turning into Alice.

"Are you lost?" a smooth muted voice asked. I felt his breath provoke my skin and my eyes sealed on their own.

I couldn't form a coherent thought. I could only feel, listen, smell. Because—god damned it!—I could smell his scent mixed with the alcohol, and smoke. The vapour of sweaty bodies moving to the beat, the vapour from the warm kitchen behind the bar, the expensive and oily perfumes of the women dancing there; it was all mixed with him. I could feel each of those scents separately, but his was much stronger than it should be. His was imprinted in my mind since the day he took a shower in my apartment.

I rested my hand on the bar seeking support, but the chill of the wood only made my nerves stand on end and a shudder coursed through me.

I needed water. I needed space. I needed somebody that could make this feeling go, yet I wanted more of it. I wanted to see how far it could go on.

I turned around and looked up, knowing where his face would be, and in the perfection of his features I knew where to find what I sought most: his eyes.

My gaze traveled down.

His smirk brought me back to reality and I sighed.

It was too good to be true.

"I wasn't 'lost'," I scoffed, "I just… couldn't spot you all from here." I said the last part almost a whisper. Fiddling with my hands.

"I just came to the bar for some beers, you were lucky I spotted you." He said leaning against the bar waiting for the bartender.

"Lucky me." I muttered.

He laughed and shook his head. "Ethan will be glad I'll bring him something with his beer." He chuckled, "he'll owe me."

"I bet." The sarcasm pooled at my feet, dripping from my words.

"Weird that Angela didn't come with Ben. Did she have other plans?"

"Not that I know of." I said pulling my eyebrows together. Ang was head over heels for Ben. Anyone could see that.

He took the bears the bartender offered but I saw no money being exchanged.

Open bar. I liked that. God knows how much they were paying for all of it.

"Are you not having a great time?" he asked. Okay, I was pissed. I was horny and could do nothing about it.

"it's just the heat. Don't worry." I told him with a sigh and pushed the hair away from my face.

What caught my attention was the choice beer. They weren't expensive or unrecognizable brands. They were pretty much what you could find at the cheapest of pubs.

"Come on. I'll show you where we are." He said leading the way.

I almost lost him at some point but he came back and took my hand. "Hold on to me." he said.

And I did. My hand had never felt better when fixed to something.

I could blame the entire BS cursing through my brain on the alcohol if I had had any. But I hadn't. I could only admit that I was in need of getting laid. As Carrie would eloquently say it.

He took so many turns that, for a second, I thought he was going in circles just to mess with me.

Then we were at the table, and I went straight for Ethan once I saw him. I had mentally prepared myself to do so as soon as we got there.

Although I felt bad of using Ethan to end what some idiot had started, I had no other choice. Something told me that Ethan wouldn't mind one bit being used for such ends, though.

Alice and Rose came back and I wondered where Tanya was.

I didn't have to wonder much longer. Cat calls and whistles blew through the air and rose above the music. The DJ lowered the volume and a spotlight showed up by the bar.

There, above the heads of a hundred people was Tanya.

Her drunken smile could have fooled anyone. But I knew better. She just wanted a show. She, like me, had only had water. From the same bottle.

There were no secondary effects to water. And if there were, they wouldn't make anyone bend at the waist and shake her hips and toss their hair.

Every gaze on the room was locked on her. I could almost feel the groom grow hotter as fifty men, and more women than I would have thought, stop their breaths and grow hot.

She was a good stripper. I would give her that.

I looked back at the people on my table and was more than surprised of what I saw.

Emmett's grin was as loud as the screams of "WOOT!" that were coming out of his mouth.

Jasper only blinked and tried not to stare. Looking uncomfortably around the room, even once giving me a lift of his eyebrows and a small smile.

Alice's face was priceless. She looked as if they were torturing children. Part disgusted, part wanting to cry.

Ben just looked from her to my side, and back to her. Several times.

Ethan's jaw was dropped and his expression was as clear as water: 'She didn't!' But he was definitely enjoying the show.

Then there was Edward. He was by my side. He was the reason Ben's gaze came back to me over and over. Because Edward, had only looked once at her, shook his head, frowned and went back to staring at the label of his beer and throwing the lid into the air.

Completely unaffected and uninterested.

What was with those two? I saw them once and they were all over each other's faces.

I saw them again and none of them mentioned the other.

I saw them again and they seemed to be already married.

I saw them again and I wet my panties and he ignores the free show.

"I think Tanya was auditioning for the lap dance role." I said trying to alleviate the tension.

"She's hired!" Ethan shouted and laughed.

Every gaze turned his direction but Edward's. Again: 'WTF moment'.

I laughed and gave him a playful slap and turned to Emmett.

"You did promise. Does she fit the profile?" I asked.

"The deal was with the first woman he looked at as he entered the club." We said like it was supposed to mean something.

"Oh, I wasn't her when you guys made it. Who is it?" I said looking at Rosalie. I didn't think Edward would be too keen of having his sister giving him a lap dance.

"That wasn't 'the club'," he said including the air quotes. "That was the 'waiting line',"

"Oh, ok." Now I understood less. "From where did you start counting?" I asked.

"From the moment he asked you if you had seen Angela." He said with a smirk and the guys started laughing.

"You were the first woman he saw, technically, since Tanya was by his side." He said pointing his thumb towards the bar where a couple girls had joined her.

Oh.

_Oh!_

Reality caught up with me. No fucking way.

"Sorry Emmett. You ain't buying it from me." I told him with a grin.

"Oh, c'mon Bella. You must have a price." He said wiggling his eyebrows.

"Emmett!" three voices said in sync. And a slap echoed in the secluded cubicle.

"Ow! What the hell?!" he yelled looking at Rose.

"Thank you!" I said with a smile.

"Anytime." She laughed.

"What I meant was that there must be something you want." He prodded.

"I want you to pick on someone else."

"No can do. What else you've got?"

"Nothing. I don't want anything. That includes giving someone a lapdance."

"Hey, not just someone: it's Eddie here."

"Emmett. What have I told you about the name?" Edward growled. I also noticed that it was the only thing he objected to. Maybe he knew I wouldn't please Emmett anyways, so he felt no need to reinforce the point.

"Sorry Emmett. My days of lap-dances and French kissing girls were left in my college dorm."

"You french'd girls?!" An incredulous Ethan asked, pulling his eyes away from the bar for a moment.

Not a very long moment, because as soon as I replied he went back to ogling double D's on the bar.

"You guys, it looks like it's getting a little bit too much fun." Alice said still staring wide eyed at the bar.

Tanya was between two girls that looked very much like each other. Twins? Great. Every guy's fantasy.

"I don't get it." I muttered.

"What you don't get? The dance? Go and get them to teach you. I'll help you get on the bar." Ethan smirked.

"No, not that. Smartass." I laughed, "I mean, this is the reason why all the rumours of the random hook-ups between celebs start." I said waving my arm at the picture in front of me.

"Please tell me you don't have a camera on you." Ethan whispered urgently on my ear.

I shook my head at him, "Why?"

"They're not allowed in here."

That explained why this was slowly escalating into a clothed orgy and everyone was so cool about it.

"I think we should wind them down, now." Rose said grabbing Alice who turned to grab me.

"You guys go. I don't want to get caught in the mass with my luck. Someone will vomit on me or I'll be stepped on till I die." I told them shaking my head.

"You have to come." Alice said and pulled me from my seat. "We'll need back up."

"Ok. What's the plan?"

"Rose and I will get up there and pull the two sluts from Tanya. We'll dance and start to cool things off. Then you pull us down to the dance floor and we'll take it from there."

"Have you done this often?" I asked surprised at how planned out the routine was.

"Every. Fucking. Time." She said and glared at Tanya.

"Why isn't Edward the one pulling her out?"

"He can't tell her no." she said rolling her eyes.

_How disgustingly sweet._

We started to push people around until we got the front of the bar. Instantly my companions sported equal drunken smiles and started lifting their arms to Tanya.

Tanya smiled down and I noticed she had a long glass with some drink in it. Maybe she was slightly buzzed now. Thirty seconds later Alice and Rosalie were hosted onto the bar and they started dancing with the twins. They turned them around and danced some more before they switched places and were then on Tanya's side. They danced for a while and then Alice clapped her hands to get my attention and I started dancing pulling them to me.

Apparently Tanya had other ideas because she didn't come down. The twins were now on the other side of the bar and had captivated the attention of part of the people that used to be near us.

"C'mon Tanya. Let's hit the dance floor." Rose said enthusiastically.

"I _am_ on the dance floor." She laughed.

"No, you're on the dance _bar_." Rosalie laughed, "The people need to get drinks and you're kind of in the middle."

"Aw, but this is fun! You guys should come up here! Come Bella! You haven't been here before." She said reaching down to me. I was afraid she would fall off the damn thing on those heels, but she seemed as comfortable as if she was barefoot.

"Nah! I already have someone forcing me to give a lapdance."

"Really? Who?" all of this was being shouted from her place on the bar to us down at her feet. It was ridiculous and I was growing tired.

"I can't shout the name. Come down here and we'll talk." I moved back dancing and called to her with my hands.

Alice and Rose helped her down and came dancing to me.

"Thanks." Alice said and wiped her brow. I didn't think it could have turned into that big of a disaster but she was more experienced in all this than me.

We danced some more and people kept praising her for her spectacle. Tanya was in the seventh heaven and I was glad for it helped me avoid the topic of the lapdance.

Her drink was gone and she went to the bar to get another.

I nudged Alice and motioned to her to go 'babysit' her. She groaned and turned to Rose who was busy talking to some people.

She hung her shoulders and followed Tanya to the bar.

When they didn't come back after some time I thought they had gone back to the booth and I marched there.

The guys were still there laughing and joking about all things around them. They weren't drunk, though; and the girls were not there.

We made small talk for some time before Alice and Tanya showed up. Now Alice was pretty buzzed and Tanya was drunk. They sat on their lovers laps and started chattering with us.

Apparently they had struck a conversation at the bar about weddings, and the alcohol had muted their discrepancies. I was glad to have some peace and happy to see Alice laughing with Tanya, all traces of resentment gone. Rose showed up and looked at me after seeing the two of them

I shrugged my shoulder and gave her a small.

They kept drinking and brought me into it. A couple hours later I was 'happier' than when I got there, but nowhere as near as the two of them were.

Drinks came and left and eventually Tanya wanted to hop on the table to dance again, though this time her balance was much worse. I looked at Edward as he held her in place and he rolled his eyes. I gave him a tentative smile and his face broke into a huge grin.

Maybe the alcohol did mute feuds. I returned the gesture and lift my beer bottle at him. That's right, bottle. No glasses here.

Ben hadn't touched his drink, but Ethan had. Apparently I would be the designated driver tonight.

It was near 12 and everyone was happy and laughing.

I didn't know what we were laughing at, but seeing their faces crunch up and laugh, loud and carefree; it made me laugh more. I should've stopped, but I didn't want to.

I sat back on the booth and felt as if I was constantly sinking into the cushions, feeling my arms and legs relax. A lazy smile played on my lips and I could feel how much of a fool I must've looked like. Judging by the faces of the people around me, I looked pretty stupid.

Rose started begging to Emmett to leave, but they were carpooling with Ben, Edward and Tanya.

After much talking I started to drink water and going to the washroom to try and sober up.

Ben and Edward were the only ones that were able to drive from that bunch. Jasper was pretty buzzed but they had planned taking a cab in advance. There was no fear of their car getting towed.

I mentally calculated how much the fare for a taxi would cost me from here to home. Although I couldn't trust my math when I was in this state, I knew the price was going to be high.

'It's never too much to pay for security,' my dad would've said. But I don't think there was a cab company located in Forks. And if there was, I was sure the prices there were very different than here.

Rose convinced Tanya to leave and have a sleepover.

I got ready to say my goodbyes and catch a cab but Alice pulled me back and made me sit down. She started telling Edward that he should wait at least until his real birthday. Apparently he was born at 2AM, or something like that.

I was partially sober by then and pretty confident that I could drive without drawing too much attention. The only problem was that I really didn't feel like spending the night with Ethan, and send him on his way would have been cruel.

Ben and Edward had a small chat and decided Ben would drive Edward's Volvo with Tanya, Rose, Emmett and Ethan; and Edward would drive me home and then return the car to Ethan.

Alice was pretty bent over that the night was far from over and made us stay behind longer. Jasper finally picked her up bridal style and took her home. Edward and I walked to the 'parking lot' not long after and started to drive.

"How old are you now?" I asked trying to make small talk.

I was perched on the front seat, my legs underneath me and my back resting against the door.

He looked at me for a moment before returning his gaze back to the road. "thirty." He answered after a moment.

"Don't worry. You're still on your T years." I said nudging him with my foot. For some reason this surprised me. No way in hell that two hours ago I would've done that.

"'_T years'_?" he laughed, "Care to explain?" curiosity laced his tone.

"I'm tired," I yawned, "maybe some other time?"

"No, stay awake." He said warningly, "If you go back to sleep the hangover will be worse tomorrow."

"Don't they always say to sleep it off?"

"That's what they say to annoying drunks to get them out of your way." He smirked.

"So, I'm not an annoying drunk, then?"

"No," he chuckled, "you're a very cute one. Now tell me what the T years are."

"Maybe I should let you live with the question. I bet it'll bug you for a long time." I leered at him.

"Ever heard of Google?"

"I doubt Google covers the content that's in my brain."

"Will you just tell me, please?" he asked, "consider it a birthday gift: a bit of knowledge."

"I thought you didn't want the whole birthday tradition."

"I'll take what I can get." He said in a serious tone and locked eyes with me.

Take me. I thought and mentally slapped myself.

His mouth dropped open and he stared at me, the road forgotten for a moment.

His gaze pinned me to the seat and I was overwhelmed in him.

My heart hammered in my chest and I gulped, despite the fact my mouth was dry.

I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but I couldn't speak.

A car honked us and we both blinked. He looked back to the road and kept driving. We were now in the residential area where I lived.

"You know I've never lost a staring contest." He smirked.

Is that what it was?

"Hmm…" I agreed but tried keeping my eyes, and hands to myself. "Have there been many matches?" I asked.

"What?" my question took him by surprise.

"For the contest." I explained.

"Oh, sometimes."

"With Alice? Because you can't stare at her puppy eyes without breaking down." I asked.

"I never make eye contact with her," he laughed, "she's four feet tall."

I laughed and saw we were in my street. "I'll make sure to let her know."

"Please, don't." he turned to me. "Where can I park?"

"Um. There is parking in the back of the building for visitors." I was confused. Why did he need to park?

The back entrance of the building was much darker than the front.

"You can drop me off here." I said to him and started gathering my things.

"I'm not letting you alone until you're safely home." He said without giving me an option.

"Thanks. But you must be tired. Don't think I believe you are completely sober."

He shrugged, but said nothing, turning into the short drive to the back of the building. After finding a fairly close to the building spot, he got off and came around the car.

I had already opened my door.

He shook his head and helped me out.

"I should have done that."

"I'm not impaled." I countered.

"You're a lady. It's my job as a gentleman to help you out of the car."

"It's okay, I won't tell your high society friends." I said with a shrug and fished my keys out of my bag.

There were a few steps from the parking lot up to the back door. The stairs were too dark and humid for a summer night.

Water could be heard dripping in the distance, and the chill of the night was cooler than I anticipated.

I shivered and rubbed my arms, trying to keep warm.

"You're cold." He stated, "Here." He said handing me something. His jacked, I assumed.

"Th-thanks." I mumbled and kept looking for the bar of the stairs, so that I wouldn't trip while he covered my shoulders with it.

I heard him sigh behind me and then I felt it.

A vice-like warmth wrapped around my wrist and chills ran up my arm and down my spine.

Edward was touching me. Edward was pulling my arm back into him and the warmth seemed to increase as I neared his body. His hand traveled lower, towards my hand and he held it for a moment before closing mine over something round, wet, and cold. The bar that ran alongside the stairs. A guide up.

"Are you looking for this?" he asked. His voice low, but clear. His hand hadn't left mine and I relished in the sensation of a thousand sparks lighting up my body and the warm breath that left his mouth. His breath, rapid as mine, travelling from my temple, down my cheek and over my neck.

I couldn't breath. I couldn't move. I couldn't say a word. I only wanted to lean back and feel. I swallowed hard and tightened my grip on the metal.

"Yes, thank you." I mumbled.

Every time he pulled on one of these stunts I was lucky to have something to hang on, otherwise I would have melted to the ground.

I searched for the first step with my foot but my mind was behind me. Feeling Edward's presence without the need for my eyes. It was as if he was a part of me, and I sensed his presence. I sensed it, acknowledged it and welcomed it. I craved it.

I wanted to know what had they spiked the drinks with. If I had been drugged I would kill a motherfucker. But before that I would give him my thanks, because something as simple as a hand had never felt as good on my body.

I still couldn't find the step because I was so not focused on my task. I shook my head trying to clear it and adjust my eyes to the poor light.

I went to take a step but it was too short and I missed my footing on the edge of it. I tried to pry both hands forward to stop the fall but something was holding onto my right hand. The left hand didn't get to make contact with the ground before an arm snaked its way around my waist and pulled me upright.

I was pressed against something warm and hard. Something that moved in synch with my breathing. It was then I noticed Edward hadn't let go of my right arm in the first place, and his left on was now around my waist.

My left arm, instead of falling limply to my side, went to rest right on top of his on my waist.

We were then completely mimicking each other's poses and I couldn't stop myself from marvelling at how good it felt. His body was a mould that had the right space for mine.

His lips were at my ear and I could hear the whooshing of his breath coming in and out.

"Fuck it!" he said roughly. Then he was turning me around in a dance move I hadn't thought myself capable of doing. He turned me in a way that my arms were crossed in front of me and his behind my back. His hands hadn't left mine the entire time.

It was so fast I didn't have time to register the action, nor the strength to stop it if I had wanted too. He was kissing me hard and deep. His arms crushing me to him and his lips demanding my mouth open for him.

A gasp left me and I tried freeing my arms. I wanted to touch him, too. I felt prisoner of him, and it was like heaven. But I wanted more.

A cry left my mouth and he groaned, freeing my arms and stepping back, his lips leaving mine for a millisecond.

I was having none of it, as soon as there was space between us to move my arms they went straight to his neck, pulling him to me. His hold tightened and he pressed me against the wall.

_Oh, God! _

I moaned as I felt more of him than I had ever felt. He was pulling me up and closer to the point where my feet left the ground. The cold metal on my back was a complete bothersome opposite of the warm body ravishing my front.

I needed to breath, but I needed his mouth on me. He seemed that have the same thought because his lips moved down to my lower lip, then my chin and neck. There was no place left untouched. I moaned as he sucked harder on the small triangle of the base of my throat. He groaned and I felt the vibrations on my chest and the hard peak of my nipples.

We were still outside, the cold reminded me. We had to make it inside, up the elevator and into my apartment. I cursed the distance but kept hold of his face. My hands moving down his back and pressing my small nails into his muscles. He hissed and rocked his hips against me.

"Oh, Go-," I couldn't finish my phrase before his hands left my waist and moved south to cup my butt. He seemed to like what he grabbed onto, because he massaged it for a moment while he kissed and bit near my earlobe. I was breathing heavily, and moaning and saying things that made no sense in my brain.

"Keys" he spat out in my ear and I didn't know what to do because he made no attempt to grab them. I shook them out so that he knew that I had them and he made a grunt communicating his understanding.

His kisses were dangerously close to my breasts then and I had to make him let me up the stairs. I was afraid he would come back to his senses once he lost contact with my body but I didn't need to worry much longer about it.

"Edward," I moaned his name and that made him completely lose it.

"Oh, fuck." I gasped as the buttons in my blouse disappeared and he started sucking on one of my breasts. The cup of my bra had been pulled down under my breast and that brought it even closer to Edward's mouth.

He put me down again and I was about to protest when he picked up the jacket that was tangled at my feet and then grabbed my legs wrapping them around his waist. He was now pressed where I most needed him. His erection perfectly palpable through his jeans and—oh so hard—pressing on my center.

"Ungh…" I moaned inbetween breaths as he made a lit inferno in every inch of my body he touched.

He started up the stairs and every time he took a step up he would press harder against my nub and a hiss or a moan would escape both of us. I was contemplating making him walk up the stairs instead of taking the elevator for the stupid three floors. The elevator was faster, though. Faster up, faster into my apartment and faster out of our clothes.

We were in the lobby when he set me down. As I turned around the coldness met my chest and I noticed my buttons were undone down to my waist.

I hurriedly started to make them up and cover myself but Edward was pulling me into the elevator and undoing with firm hands what my trembling hands had fixed.

"What were you doing?" he groaned as his mouth met mine and I was pressed against a wall again. His legs were opening mine and letting me rub deliciously on his thigh. His hands were rubbing up and down my sides and kneading my breasts. His mouth suckling on my lower lip and then kissing me deeply.

I wanted to open my eyes and look, but every time I tried he would touch me in a way that made me moan, or siss hotly against his mouth, and my eyes would close on their own again.

The elevator doors opened faster than they had ever done and we came apart panting. I looked at him. The dishevelled mess that my hands had left behind. His hair sticking up more than usual. His shirt showing the exact replica of the inside of my fists as I held on to it for dear life.

His eyes were dark. The pupils dilated and lustful. Just a ring of the emerald green surrounding them. They shined and called to me. He was the image of sex, and I couldn't wait until he was more than the image.

I held my blouse together and pulled him out the elevator with my other hand. He came behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. Kissing my neck and shoulders. I hurried my pace down the corridor and tried to keep my eyes open to make sure I stood in front of the right door.

He got tired of me fiddling with my keys, when we got there, and ripped them out of my grasp. Faster than I could have thought it possible, for someone that had never used it before, he opened the door and pushed me inside.

The bang of the door as he pushed it closed with my body should have awakened the entire building, but I couldn't care. I registered pain in my back on the place I had made contact with the door, but I didn't pay a second of interest to it.

I couldn't think. I only wanted, and it was him. I wanted him. Inside me, and I needed it fast.

My shirt was completely undone and he was pushing it down my arms, together with the straps of my bra. I wondered briefly why didn't he just rip them open and get it over with.

I heard him kick his shoes off, but the sound was immediately muted by my panting as he sucked on my nipple and twirled the other one between his fingers.

His mouth kept moving down my stomach while I arched my back off the door and threw my head back with a groan.

"Wonder if you're this sweet everywhere…" I heard him mutter against my skin but I couldn't ask what he meant before I was calling out his name as his tongue swirled in my bellybutton and his hand rubbed the crotch of my jeans, giving me some friction but not nearly enough.

My wands were grasping at anything I found on the door or the walls. Either the doorknob or the light switches. Anything that could give me something to hold on to, before I fell into an unknown abysm of bliss.

Small pinches of pain in my hips made me open my eyes and look down. In his haste, Edward had undone the button of my jeans and was pulling them down without bothering to lower the zipper.

"Ow…" I said quietly.

His eyes flew to my face and I could read more apology than lust for a second, but after I gave him a small smile, a mischievous grin spread across his face and he lowered the zipper, then my pants. He rubbed my hips and kissed each reddish patch that was forming there.

I hadn't kicked off my shoes so my pants were hard to get off. He gave up after a second and lifted me in his arms with my pants still around my ankles. I giggled and he slapped the back of my thighs. My guess what he was aiming for my ass, but didn't make it.

I felt him set me on the counter in the kitchen and the cold of the surface on my skin made me hiss in protest. He kissed my sounds away and continued down the path he had started earlier. He lapped at my breasts and down my stomach. He nipped at the side of my hips but ignored my aching core, despite my hands pulling on his hair, trying to lead him where I needed him.

He kissed down the front of my thighs and around my knees. Jumping from one leg to the other to give both equal attention.

I moaned as I felt his hands running back up my legs, then down to my calf. They eased my shoes and jeans off. Leaving them there.

I was almost naked. My bra was around my waist, since he had pulled the straps down. My panties were still on, though. The look on his eyes as he appraised me, made me think that the panties wouldn't be long much longer. And that was fine with me, as long as he relieved the aching in me.

I pulled him to me by his shirt and kissed his mouth and down his neck as my hands felt their way down to the hem of his shirt.

I pulled it over his head, not bothering with the buttons. Any other moment I would have continued unclothing him, but I needed to know if the scent that drove my senses wild was his own or a cologne he used. I pressed my face to the black cloth and inhaled. The scent was there. But not as strong as it was when I kissed and licked every inch of his neck. I needed to be back there. My other arm pulled him by the loops of his belt and settled him between my legs.

I looked up at his face and his mouth was partially opened. He breathed though it. His eyes were dark and glimmering. They were fixated on my face, specifically near my neck, where I still had his shirt pressed to me.

Hmm… he liked me inhaling his scent. I could do that again. I smirked at him and pressed my face to it. This time I groaned and moaned loudly as I inhaled. When I opened my eyes his jaw was clenched shut, and I knew the time for games was over. This was happening.

He pulled my hips towards his erection and we both moaned at the contact. My panties were soaked through, and I knew he could feel the scorching heat that was seated between my legs. Jeans or no jeans on him, it was there. I could smell my arousal, for fuck's sake. If I did, despite how distracted I was, he had to feel it too, because he had been kneeling pretty close to the southern area of my body.

My legs wrapped around his waist and he hoisted me up. he started walking to my bedroom, and I was glad he knew the way, because I was too busy running my hands over the ripped muscles of his back and up to his glorious hair. My mouth was permanently attached to his neck and the underside of his jaw.

I couldn't care about the sounds that I was making as he skimmed his hands over my ass and thighs. I was too interested in his sounds…

He dropped over me on my bed and I was so into him that I couldn't tell if we were the right way or not. I was more aware that he was pressing himself against me with all of his weight. I started rocking my hips up and down rubbing away the ache, and bringing more of it at the same time. Soon it wasn't enough for either of us. He kneeled between my spread legs for a moment long enough to unbuckle his belt and undo his buttons. Then I was pulling him down on me by his neck and kicking his pants down with my heels.

Ahh, much better. His own heated flesh and hardness was much better than the restricting denim of his pants.

This was it. His eyes met mine and a silent question passed between us. I looked down at our embrace and then back at him. Yes, this was happening. We were doing this. With a curt nod the main focus went back to feeling.

I vaguely recall feeling the silky material of what must've been his boxers against the sole of my heel, before he was entering me, and I was overwhelmed by waves of sensations and splashes of colour behind my closed lids.

* * *

**AN: so, that was the first time EVER in my life that i write anything close to a lemon, let alone smut. i was trying to get it perfect because the competition in fanfiction is very powerfull (take a look at my faves and you'll see how crappy my writing is.) either way. tell me your opinion.  
there is a button where you can do that. it is right down there:**

**VVVVVVVVVV**


	20. Chapter 20

AN: Hello. first things first. i know that, this chapter is way too short to have taken this long. but i have been crazy with school things and RL is sucking big time.

I hope to have another chappy soon enough to fill in all you questions.

Everything Belongs to the amazing SM

* * *

Chapter 20:

I felt like I was sitting under the blinding light that they use to interrogate people. But it was much worse. It was as if, before I had been seated here, I had been punched, stuffed my mouth with cotton and then driven me around and around in circles in the trunk of a car.

However, there was an amazingly great side to this feeling. There was a warmth that enveloped my body that I hadn't felt in a long time. There was a smooth, but strong, band that circled around my waist. It was constricting, but it's shape adjusted perfectly to me, and as I breathed in and out it brought me closer to the warmth.

I exhaled and pressed my face tighter to the warmth. There was a faint scent that was turning stronger as I became more aware of my surroundings.

Stronger and stronger became the smell, and I could identify several things mixed in it. There was sweat, but it was the kind that made you want to rub it all over yourself. There was something spicy that was definitely a cologne.

Could a person smell the summer? Or maybe the Sun in the morning. Was there a name for that scent? I felt it all around me. The scent becoming stronger and richer.

There was almost too much of it, and as I tried to move away to get room to breath the band around my waist just shifted me closer.

My legs seemed to have been tied with _very_ thick ropes that were also warm.

At this point I was aware enough that I knew there was no way that I had been kidnapped. Let alone tied up in my own bedroom. However the scent was so real. So present that made my stomach turn. Don't get me wrong, it was delicious, but there was too much of it. After a night of drinking I couldn't be surprised that the scent--…

_A night of drinking._

_A second date with Ethan._

_A night of me avoiding public embarrassment._

_A night of me trying to get out from a lap dance._

_A night of me lusting after Edward._

_Edward._

Flashes of clothes being shed and pushed aside filled my mind. Moans and sighs. Ablaze kisses. Everything was coming back to me so clear. Why couldn't I have passed out like a regular drunk? Was I drunk in alcohol or of him? How I wished I could erase those memories, even though I knew I wouldn't if I could.

This was the '_morning after'_. And for the 'feel' of it, he had not done the common thing and ran before the sun came out.

I opened my eyes cautiously, wishing that I had fallen asleep with my bedside lamp on and that was the heat I felt near me.

No such look. My eyes were greeted with the smooth and pale skin of an evenly breathing chest.

I contemplated my options. I could scream and pretend that I had no idea of what I had done last night. Or I could get up and leave the apartment before he woke up. I would then hide around the corner until I saw him leave. Maybe I could pretend to be asleep longer and ignore him when he woke up and realized the mistake that he made last night.

Because this is what I was. A mistake. A completely out of character action. Those 'once in a lifetime' things we spoil ourselves with.

That was probably the best solution. Once he left my bed, my apartment. I could go on pretending I didn't remember anything that I had done last night. Or that we stopped antagonizing each other for a moment, and had the best sex I had been a part of, in a very long time.

For once I was thankful my windows had no curtains, regardless of the show I might have given the front building. It was the first time I had woken up with this inhumanly beautiful man and gave me the chance to enjoy looking at his face.

So, to get up or not get up. That was the problem. What if I got up and awakened him in one of my clumsy episodes. Oh, God.

I decided to stay put and ignore him when he woke. It wasn't like I was uncomfortable, once I had pried myself away from the tantalizing scent of his body.

I wondered how much alcohol a person would need to drink to be able to do something so random but be able to drive as well as he did. Considering how meticulous he was, he probably had it measured down to the last drop where his limits laid. If only I knew where mine were…

I couldn't stop the sigh that left me. Neither could I stop the phone from ringing at that precise moment. I felt Edward's breathing become uneven and after his sharp intake of air, I knew the plan was put of the question. He had seen me awake.

Neither of us made a move to pick up the phone.

As he stared at me I registered no shock in his face, or surprise. Not even remorse. Had he done this before?

Sadly, I realized that with such physique it wouldn't be hard at all having girls throw themselves at him, let alone welcome him in their beds.

"God, what time is it?" he grumbled rubbing his eyes.

"I should get that." I said and started to move off the bed.

"No, wait," he said grabbing my arm and pulling me back from the chilly morning into a warm embrace. My eyes closed on their own and my head rested back on his chest.

What was I doing? The bubble was broken.

I shot up in bed and he sighed, "That took not long at all."

"Oh, my God, Edward! What have we done?!" I screeched.

"I'm sure you don't want the answer to that question." he said pulling his arms behind his head. The picture of ease resting on my bed.

Just then the phone stopped ringing and Alice's voice came screaming through the machine.

'_Bella! Bella, pick up!'_ I imagined her next word would be how her brother never got home and I was the last person he was seen with and that I was only using her to get closer to him. But I was wrong, _'Bella, I left my new BCBG clutch at the club, you have to come with me get it back. Please, please, please! Call me right now. Stop sleeping and call me! This is urgent!'_

It was surprising how my list of priorities had changed overnight. I went from hiding from anything that could induce a session of shopping with Alice, to being glad that she was calling about a lost purse.

"Shit, seven missed calls." Edward cursed behind me.

Yes, _now_ you're worried?

"Look, I know you should leave, but don't say anything yet. Let me talk to Alice before you say anything about last night. Let me say goodbye to Lizzy and so on." I pleaded.

"What are you talking about?" his eyebrows scrunched up and I adjusted the sheet around my naked torso.

"I know you will tell her about what happened. And I know it was my fault. Well both our faults. But technically we were drunk. It would be like pleading dementia. It wasn't entirely our fault." I realized I was rambling and making no sense, "Just give me a couple days and I'll be out of your way forever."

"Bella… I… that's not what…" his phone gave a small beep indicating yet another missed call.

"I understand. You have to go, just get to it." I said and my voice broke at the end. Up until that moment I hadn't realized that for once my bed didn't feel empty or cold. That I didn't want him to leave. But he couldn't stay. I needed time to think how I would go about it.

Esme and Carlisle's disappointed expressions haunted me. How could I ever look into their eyes and feel the shame that crawled inside me? I was wrecking their home.

"Bella, don't cry. Look I'm not telling anybody about anything," he started and tried to cup my face. That, only made me sob harder. "Shit, I'm no good at this. Everything will be fine. Don't cry, please."

His eyes were troubled and the crease on his brow sincere. I looked back at him and wiped my face, "what are you going to do?"

He rested his forehead on his hands for a moment.

"I'll tell them I spent the night at Ethan's after I dropped the car. I bet he is not even awake yet. Don't worry about it. It'll be fine."

"I have to worry. He won't find out, but I know about it. Alice, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie; how can I look into their eyes again!?" I cried harder.

"You didn't do anything. We messed up. It will be OK, don't worry." he tried to calm me.

How did people do this? How could you willingly hurt somebody behind their back?

His phone beeped and another curse came from him.

He stood up, still naked. I took the pillow and pressed it to my chest, then lowered my face to it, muffling my sobs. Why was I so sentimental about it? How was it so different than when I had a fight with John and then went on a date?

_Because you never had sex with your date, and Edward was last night with his fiancée._ A small voice inside me chastised.

Fiancée. Not yet 'wife'. Did I make a difference? Would it have hurt me less if I hadn't been married to John when he cheated? I was sure of that answer, it made no difference. And it hurt all the same.

I waited for him to pick up the trail of clothing that led to the kitchen. I got up and pulled on the first tee and sweats that I saw. I followed him out and found him in the kitchen buttoning his shirt. I looked down and couldn't help but blush as I saw my clothes mixed with his. I didn't want to acknowledge them now. It would bring a round of awkward looks that I wasn't ready for. This was the worst 'morning after' in the history of hook-ups.

"Hey, look at me. Don't over think it. It will be okay. I promise. Call Alice as soon as I leave. Tell her that you're hung over. Let her send Jasper, or call the club, and have the purse delivered. She is very good reading you and she'll grill you for info. I'll call you later. And, Bella?" I looked up, "I'm really sorry."

With that he adjusted his shoelaces and left my apartment.

The bitter knot of sadness that settled on me throat choked me.

It felt like I had been slapped several times in a second. If I was being honest, I had to admit that Edward under the influence was not as coherent, but much more treatable.

I dragged myself to the washroom trying not to dwell on the fact that I had just had the first night stand where I wasn't the one doing the walk of shame, yet it felt like I was walking to the electric chair.

After I got ready for the day I called Alice.

The conversation went something like:

"Are you sure you're okay? You sound depressed."

"It's nothing Alice, I'm just hung over." lie, lie, lie.

"Please come with me."

"I told you already I can't." I can't look at you and pretend I did nothing. I had to wait until he had told them. Then I could ask her if she would still appreciate my friendship, or if she didn't feel it would be such a good idea to let me that close to Jasper.

"Why do you sound so down? Is everything okay?" she kept asking.

It went like that until she had a client calling her other line and she had to hang up.

As it turned out, Alice didn't remember much after we had brought Tanya off the bar. Which was great, because it meant we still had a chance of not getting caught before he decided to come clean.

I spent the rest of the day lazing it up. Reading, picking up things that had been pushed aside the previous right, etc. I tried writing at some point, but how could you write about a disaster that happened to an eight year old, when you're thinking of what sex, with him grown up, felt like? It was wrong in so many ways that I couldn't help but run away from the keyboard.

Finally, I couldn't avoid it any longer. I went to my bedroom, picking up my clothes from the kitchen and hall's floor on the way, and looked around. Everything was still the same, except my bed, which was much more undone than when I slept by myself. My pillow was on the floor, since I had opted for the comfort of Edward's chest; the sheet half falling off the bed. I sighed and opened the windows. The bedroom still held the scent of our night.

The shape of where he lied was embed on the pillows. I got closer to strip the bed and could see bronze hair laying on the white background. I realized that Edward would always be here now. We were in each other's list, and nothing we could do would erase it. With a final sigh I pulled the sheets roughly and something came flying my way. I ducked and gave a small scream. Turning around I say a thin gold chain resting on the floor. It wasn't mine, and that only meant it was _his_.

I slipped it through my fingers. It was an antique for sure. The dark colour of the pure gold shimmered in the light and reminded me of the way he looked at me all night long, and then right here in this same bedroom.

I'd have to find a way to give it back.

Paranoia settled when I tried to find a safe place to put it. I didn't want to put it in any of my personal drawers, but I couldn't leave it on plain sight where anyone could see it. I considered briefly wearing it. It was long enough that no one could see it under my top, but maybe he wouldn't like that at all. I settled for putting it into an envelope and between the pages of my agenda.

I kicked my laundry all the way to the walk-in closet. I took a gym bag from there and threw it all in. I would have to go do this laundry very soon. Just not today.

I checked my emails and replied to the most important ones: my mom, Jake, one from Jake's account but from my dad, etc.

Then I avoided Alice's calls, my stomach fluttered and dropped with guilt, the same guilt that wouldn't let me eat a thing the whole day.

The next morning I went to work. At least there no one knew any of the Cullen's, or Edward, personally. For an instant I felt safe, until the moment when people started to say good morning to me and I felt like I had a stamp on my forehead showing the world what I had done on the weekend. It was as if every time I turned I feared someone could have seen us through my open window, no matter how far they lived from my apartment.

I was catching up with transferring the interviews to writing when an alert of a new email message flashed on the screen.

I clicked on it thinking that maybe Jake had had time to reply faster than he usually did.

There was only one name on the "From:" space: Edward.

I took a sharp inhale of breath and opened it.

"_We need to talk. Please, call me."_

No hellos, no goodbye. Just a phone number underneath.

I read the message over and over. Until the words meant nothing. What did he want to talk about? As far as I knew, he was 'sorry' about what happened. Maybe he missed his chain and wanted it back. In a way it was a good thing. This way I didn't have to seek him out. I wanted to get it over with and dial. But the fear consumed me and I postponed it until the end of the day. Who could blame me. I didn't want to talk about what happened, and he didn't seem to share my sentiments.

Around 3PM I realized that I couldn't stall any longer. I dialled the number and was ready to leave a message when his ragged voice came through?

"Hello?"

"Um…" great, that should tell him who this is, "It's me, Isabella Swan."

"Bella, hi. I'm so glad you called." he said with a sigh.

He was?

"How are you?" I stammered. Not knowing how to ask him what he wanted to tell me.

"I'm good, thanks. How was your day?" was he stalling, too?

"Typical Monday, you know how it is."

"Yeah," he paused, "so… about the weekend: I… I think we need to talk about it, don't you?" NO, I DID NOT.

"I'm not sure what should we talk about. We were drunk, it was a mistake. I'm sure you guys will work it out."

"Work out what?" he asked surprised.

"When you tell… them. I'm sure she'll understand we made a mistake and forgi-" I couldn't finish.

"Hell, no! I'm not saying anything to anybody."

I sighed like a weight had been lifted off me.

"You're not? Then what did you want to talk about?"

"I just thought we got it over with before Alice or anybody from the family invites you to come with us somewhere." anybody, excluding him. I'm sure he'll avoid me like the plague. "Get the awkward phase over with, you know?"

Umm, no…

"Oh, I see…" silence took over.

"So, how do you feel?" he asked.

For some reason I didn't feel sorry like he did. It was a huge mistake, but it had been a great one while it lasted. Of course I wouldn't tell him that.

"I don't know. I've been trying not to think about it."

"Have you succeeded?"

"No," I said with a sigh, "have you?"

"I stopped trying as soon as I stepped into the car."

"So, you've been dwelling on it the whole time?" I was surprised.

"I wouldn't call it 'dwelling' per se, but yes, it's been on my mind most of the time."

"I thought that you would come clean so that the guilt would pass." my voice was sad, just as I was at the thought of losing the few friends I had made.

"I don't feel guilty." he blurted out and I almost fell out of my chair.

"You don't?"

"Well, to a certain extent, I do. It was wrong, but we were under the influence. It could have happened to anyone. You're a very attractive woman, and I…" he changed the topic, "do you think less of me because of that?"

"I can't judge, I was there. I was drunk, too."

"I wasn't that drunk," he admits, "I drove, remember?"

Yes, I did remember. But I had been trying to ignore it.

"I was pretty buzzed, but I knew what I was doing. And to an extent, I wanted it to happen." oh, trust me, me too. "Not that I had planned it." I wasn't planning it either, but you hadn't given me a chance to.

"I see," was the only think I could come up with.

"Please tell me what you're thinking?" he asked desperate.

"I'm just embarrassed." I admitted, which was partially true, "I'm new in this city. And I think that because I was feeling alone I might have behaved in a way that I normally wouldn't…" that sounded like I used him, "not that I used you to fill some void," no pun intended, "but it didn't feel as wrong as I always thought something like that would feel." I finished, my voice above a whisper. Fearing someone might hear me I looked around. What a place to have a conversation like this one. Most people had left after their meetings. The rest just talked on the phone, or Skype, while they waited for it to be a reasonable time to sneak out.

"I know what you mean." he said, "I just wanted you to know that I had never done something like that. Not to Tanya, or Jessica."

Jessica was Lizzy's mother.

"I believe you." and I did. Just because women would open their doors to him, it meant that he chose to walk through them.

I asked if there had been any problems with Ethan or anything. And he stayed quiet for a moment, before answering.

"I didn't tell him what I was doing. Or with whom. You have nothing to worry about." his clipped tone caught me off guard.

After a few pleasantries, we both grew quiet. And he broke the silence.

"Well, I just thought we could get this conversation out of the way. That's mostly what I wanted to say." was there anything he was leaving out? I wanted to ask, but I wasn't sure I would like the answer. I was confused enough as it was.

"Yeah, me, too."

"Have a great night, Bella, and thank you for calling me back."

"You, too. Thank you." I sent no greetings to his family, because as far as they would be concerned this conversation never happened.

With that he hung up and I wiped my hands on my pants. They were cold and sweaty. The colour returning to them after the hard grip I had on the phone. The side of my face felt hotter than my usual blush. Which was now covering most of my body.

**********

Four days later I was still avoiding Alice. We had talked on the phone, but with the excuse that I was busy with work, I avoided and declined any invitations. Finally I couldn't delay it any longer. And today Friday, I was going to an early dinner/late lunch with her, Jasper, and Lizzy.

Ethan hadn't called, but we had texted often. Now that Edward was back working, he was busier and seemed not to have a minute to himself. From what he said, Edward came back to work with a bit of an angry streak and had everyone running around like crazy.

"Maybe he didn't have a nice vacation." I said, covering the truth.

It was nearing the time Alice said she would pick me up and I started cleaning my desk. Tyler waved me goodbye and I went down the elevator to the lobby.

As I stepped onto the pavement Alice called saying they had to make a quick stop at Edward's place, and they would be a few minutes late. I said it was no problem and that I would be at the garden next to the building. The day was hot and sunny. The noise of the cars and people talking on their phones would have been annoying to anybody else, but for me it was just proof that the city was alive.

Minutes later a car perked in front of the garden and I couldn't believe my eyes. Not only Alice, Jasper and Lizzy came out, but closely after Tanya and Edward followed. The huge SUV drove away as I got up to meet them.

My stomach dropped as I hugged and kissed both Alice and Tanya. Lizzy took one of my hands and smiled up at me. I tipped her nose with the pad of my finger and she giggled looking up.

I followed her sight and saw Edward's smile looking down at us. Our eyes met for a brief instant and after a visible temblor ran through me I looked away afraid someone would have seen more of our exchange.

We started walking through the crowded streets, Tanya and Alice seemed pretty comfortable with each other. Talking about music bands for weddings and flower arrangements. I noticed the bag Alice carried held a binder and I feared I would stuck between to perfectionists planning their respective weddings.

Edward and Jasper walked behind Lizzy and me, and I caught nothing but snippets and stray words of their muttered conversation.

We finally turned into a boulevard and then into a small dinner.

Tanya ordered a salad without dressing, just some olive oil and salt. My tasting buds recoiled at her choice and I proceeded to order with everyone else without caring whether it had a hundred or a thousand calories.

I understood it was her body and al, but I didn't think her eating disorder was a good example to Lizzy. I helped Lizzy pick from the kids menu and they brought crayons and paper for her.

Just as our drinks arrived Alice pulled out the binder and started asking my opinions on every one of the clipped pictures she had in it.

It seemed like she had been keeping cut-outs of magazines since she was five. And not only were they all beautiful, but they were modern enough to seem risky and fashion forward, or old enough to ooze vintage. It was as if she always knew what would be in fashion when she got married. What would seem clichéd or outdated. What was considered now tacky, but could be spun into classic.

I looked at Jasper seeking protection from the onslaught of wedding talk but he shook his head indicating that he had no power over her when she entered this mode. Tanya joined soon after with her own magenta album, because apparently that was the theme of her September wedding. Alice was hoping for the fall or early winter.

Edward, like Jasper, seemed bored by the talk. And Tanya noticed soon after I did because she asked him to look, at least, excited about it. He rearranged his posture and wasted no time in rolling his eyes as soon as she looked away. I had to stifle my laugh, but he noticed and threw a smirk in my direction. I blushed and went back to looking through the binder with Alice, while Lizzy sat on my lap.

Her hair tickled my ear as I leaned over her to read the annotations. She laughed as I tickled her back every time she shook her head. Alice and Tanya kept discussing gowns and designers. Lizzy wanted to use the restroom and asked Edward to take her. He looked scared for a moment and I decided to save him the embarrassment of being caught in a women's washroom.

I stood up with Lizzy and the gratitude was evident in his eyes. "I have to go, too, Liz--Elizabeth," I amended looking at Tanya. "Want me to go with you instead?" I asked.

She nodded sheepishly and we asked the waiter for directions.

When we came back Edward's face was slightly paler than when we had left. The food was on the table and Alice and Tanya were giggling like crazy.

"Is the food good?" I asked trying my seafood salad. It was wonderful.

They couldn't speak since their giggles were overpowering them.

"Alice, it wasn't _that_ funny!" Jasper huffed. "I didn't know she would be at Alexander's…" right there I understood what was going on. I felt the blood leave my face as I saw everyone laughing except Edward, Lizzy and I.

Lizzy had no idea, like me, about whom were they talking about. But what made me pale, like Edward, was the fact that they were talking about last weekend.

"Bella, did you see her?" Tanya asked in a fit of giggles.

"Who? When?" my voice was panicked. I expected her next words to be 'the whore that fucked my fiancé'. But instead, "Wait, what time did you leave the club last Saturday?" she asked.

Fuck. Me.

I did not know how to reply to that answer. My breathing picked up and my eyes were huge. What could I tell her? What had Edward said to her? Or to Alice? This is why I can't lie. I easily drawn in a net of lies.

"She left right after Jasper took you home." Edward said to Alice clearing his throat. "She didn't see her." I gave a thousand thanks to him with my eyes. But his were in some kind of stare competition with Tanya.

"I forgot you've never lost a blinking contest," she giggled to him. Then leaned over and kissed him.

I averted my eyes to Alice, and Jasper. They were playing tic-tac-toe with Lizzy, and eating. Conversation went back to the wedding plans. Alice promised to get in contact with the new and buzzing designers she knew, and Tanya said she would look into the photographers for the engagement parties, each of their showers and, of course, their weddings.

Jasper just played with Alice's ring on her finger. The expression in his face, that one of pure calming bliss. It was relaxing being near him. He never had much to said, but when he did, everyone made quiet and listened. It was as if he had the wit of an old man, and Alice the life and energy of a 8 year old. They completed each other. I envied this set of four perfectly matched couples that I shared my life with.

Overall it wasn't so bad. Edward and I kept as separate from each other as possible, but every few minutes I would check if he was looking at me, because the feeling that someone was watching never ceased. Not once I caught him glancing my way. I concluded guilt was making me paranoid.

"So, Bella, how are things with Ethan going?" Alice asked me. I blushed and looked down.

"They're going…" I said simply, not wanting to go into detail with the guys in front.

"Oh, c'mon. There has to be more than that. Tell us what's up with you guys. We're dying to know."

"Dying." Edward muttered sarcastically and we all glared at him. I knew Alice and Tanya's glare was that he was interrupting our gossip time. Mine was for very different reasons. Reasons that if I were to be asked, I wouldn't exactly know how to explain.

"Anyways… we haven't seen each other since Saturday. But we've talked a lot." I said with a smile.

"That's great. Wait until I tell Vicky that Ethan will be off the market soon."

A snort came from Edward, "Tanya, what makes you think Victoria wants anything to do with Ethan's 'availability'" he said making air quotes.

"You wouldn't know about those things. Guys can never tell what a girl is thinking."

"I beg to differ," I told them, "Alice and Jasper seem to be very in sync with one another."

"If only you knew how many years of practice they have, you wouldn't be so surprised." Edward laughed. "Jasper was her first boyfriend."

"Wow!" I said looking at the two of them while they smiled at each other. Warmth pouring from their eyes.

"Ok, enough for now. You guys are making me sick with your newly-engaged attitude." he laughed and shoved Jasper's shoulder. Alice stuck her tongue out at him and we all laughed.

"Is uncle Jasper like your Charming Prince?" Lizzy asked, interested now in the conversation.

"Yep!" Alice said, "He is my modern knight in shinin' Hugo Boss."

"Cool. Where did you find him?"

"You will not answer that until she is thirty," Edward cut Alice as she opened her mouth to reply.

"Sorry, honey. Daddy's orders." Alice said apologetically at Lizzy and I wondered what the story was.

"Elizabeth, I am sure that your own prince charming very soon. However, given that…" I felt something hit the table and Tanya stopped talking instantly.

I saw Everybody look at Edward and I did the same. His glare was centred on Tanya, who was shrinking back into her seat. Then huffed and pulled out her cell phone. That didn't take long at all. She was huffing, smiling, sneezing and yawning; all of it while she typed messages back and forth.

The guys paid the bill and we left the dinner. We walked to the main street and got into the SUV that had brought them here.

Edward sat at the front with a driver I hadn't met before. Alice, Jasper and Tanya sat behind, and at the very back, with the seat all for the two of us, were Lizzy and me.

We got to Edward's condo and the car went straight for the underground parking once we got out. A valet came and opened the glass doors of the lobby for us. Another one showed Edward his mail and informed him that his laundry had been delivered. Then Ben showed up and starting listing appointment after appointment that Edward had. We walked into the spacious elevator and he pushed the button for the penthouse suite.

Everyone remained quiet while Edward muttered 'yes', 'no' or 'cancel it'. Simple decisions.

The elevator stopped midway and Ben got out without muttering a single word to anyone except his boss. Lizzy that had been clinging to me since we got to the Chicagoan. Edward bent down and picked her up. He shook her softly from side to side, and as the elevator stopped he got out and walked right to the front door. Tanya came behind and swiped the card. The atmosphere had turned solemn and serious for some reason, from the moment they walked in.

I saw bags packed in the living room and my eyes flashed to Alice.

She came to me and started explaining, in a hushed tone, as soon as Edward and Liz left the room.

"Jessica called yesterday. She wants Lizzy to go with her to New York to visit her other grandparents for a month this summer. Lizzy will come back by august, but she doesn't want to leave." She stopped and looked around. Jasper ad turned the TV on to CNN, no one else was on sight, "Edward doesn't want to send her just yet, but Jess is being a bitch about the court's terms on the shared custody thing." she sighed and looked out the window.

"Sucks…" was the only thing I could come up with. "I better go, leave them to have some time before she has to leave."

"Yeah, we'll leave, too. Jasper has drinks with some friends tonight. I'd invite you, but we were invited by someone else." she said apologetically.

"Oh, no! Alice, don't worry about it." I laughed, "You don't need to take me everywhere you go."

"But you need to meet new people. Give Ethan a reason to be jealous. You know…"

"Alice, I think I'll pass on all the tricks for now." I laughed more.

"Fine. Let's go say bye to Lizzy."

I felt sad immediately. I would miss the little girl. I reminded myself, that even if she wasn't leaving now, she would be leaving at the end of the summer, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I was right to dread saying goodbye to Lizzy. Not only she was really sad, but she was misbehaving and kicking things for no reason. Edward didn't let her throw a full tantrum, but she did end up crying and glaring at him.

"Don't worry, Miss Lizzy, you'll see that when you get back the Zoo will be much different and it will be as if you had never been there. Think about it, this year you get to come to visit 2 times." I tried cheering her up.

"That's true, Liz. And I'm sure Dad will bring you over for Christmas too, since you already went to New York this year. Think about it. We can go to the cabin, and make marshmallows!" Alice said excitedly.

"But I don't wanna go." she whined and shook our arms off.

"You'll be back before you notice it. Imagine all the shops that you can visit in New York. And Central Park. I'm sure you'll have lots of fun." I encouraged her.

She shrugged but said nothing else. There was no changing her mind.

"Let's go." Alice said with a sigh. Jasper came and joked a few more minutes with her while Alice asked Edward the details of Lizzy's trip.

We made our way down, but instead of going to the street we went straight for the Parking floor. The SUV already waited for us. The driver dressed in black held the doors open. I took shotgun and Alice sat in the back curled into Jasper. She was really sad to see Lizzy go.

The driver dropped Alice and Jasper first, and as we headed for the High Way his phone rung and he picked it up with a curt "Yes, Mr. Cullen?"

"We just turned into the High Way, sir." he continued the conversation, "Please hold for a second," he then turned to me, "It's Mr. Cullen. He wishes to speak to you."

Had I forgotten anything at his place? I checked as I took the phone from his hands. Everything was with me.

"Hello?" I said into the receiver.

"Bella," he sighed sounding defeated.

"Is everything OK? Is Lizzy OK?" I asked worried.

"Oh, everything it's ok. I just dropped her off at her Exit gate."

"Oh, OK." why was he calling?

"I just needed… I had to… I…" he didn't finish any of the phrases. And that scared me.

"I'm coming over tomorrow. I hope you don't have any plans." he stated.

"Excuse me?" I asked. Coming where? My house?

"Look, we need to talk. And I can't do it through the phone. I'll see you tomorrow. I'll be there by 6PM." he wasn't asking for my permission. In fact, he expected me to cancel any plans I had.

"What if I did have plans?" I challenged.

"I know Ethan is going to be away for a couple days." he said and I could hear the smirk in his voice. "I do have other friends."

"Whose appointments you could reschedule, if in fact, there was any." his cockiness irritated me. Who did he think he was? "I'll see you tomorrow." he said and hung up. Not a goodbye, nothing. It almost made me wish I could leave the apartment for the entire night and not come back until I made sure he had left.

I could do that, I thought as we sped down the main street near my place, I could ignore all the contact. Now that Lizzy was not here there was no reason for me to keep in touch with him if he bothered me that much.

So, why couldn't I actually make myself believe that I would stand him up?

* * *

Who wants to see Eddie and Bella battle it out at her place?

please review with you thoughts


	21. Chapter 21

I'm sorry for the long delay. this chapter tok no time at all to write (about 24 hours), but i'd been thiking about it for the past month or so. i just hadn't had the time to sit and write.

i hope you enjoy it. it's one of my favorites.

As always: Nothing is mine. to characters are SM's, and the poem is from it's respective author.

* * *

Chapter 21

It was five thirty. I had half an hour until 'his highness' was due to make an appearance.

Idiot, self-centered, annoying… the string of profanities cursing through my mind went on, and I was sure if Renee had heard me she would have made me down some soap… I bet she was never faced with such an infuriating, stupid, egomaniac… I gave up.

In the morning I was all for leaving this place. If it wasn't because I needed to give him his gold chain back where his family wasn't present, I wouldn't be here.

_Keep telling yourself that._ This annoying new addition to my mind had been nagging me the whole day. Every time I texted Ethan back, or read one of his texts, it would come back and taunt me with evil smirks and 'tsking' sounds.

I sat with a glass of wine glaring at my door. Well, I tried to glare, but every time I really tried I would remember the way I was pressed against it. His haste in pushing my clothes out of the way. His scent… and I became a pool of drool and started caressing my legs, until I shook myself out of it again swearing a bit more.

15 minutes to go.

My mind kept going in circles. I had left the envelope with his chain on the coffee table to make sure he got it and was on his way.

As I thought about it, maybe I should put it on the kitchen counter. It was closer to the front door… _smart, Bella. Why don't you just give it to him through the slit under the door? _

Now that you mention it…

STOP IT! There was no need to hide. We already saw each other. We got over the whole 'awkward meeting' phase. He was just coming to get his chain and leave.

He was coming here. Alone. While I was alone.

I bet he is coming from the office, with a five-o'clock shadow on his cheeks, his tie undone, his jacket left behind in the car, his sleeves pushed up... STOP IT!

At six sharp my phone rung. I jumped in the seat and spilled a bit of the wine. _Wonderful._

I picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Bella!" Fuck. Alice.

"Oh, hey Alice. What's up?" please be busy!

"I was wondering if you wanted to do something tonight. Rosalie has this thing with a bunch other agents from the industry and she's bringing me along. You know, designer promotion, etc." yeah, I did know. You know what else I knew? Her brother would be knocking on my door any moment now, and I didn't have the slightest clue as to how get rid of both without tipping them off.

"So, what do you think?"

"About what?" oh, shit. She'll know I wasn't paying attention.

"Are you listening to me? I asked you if you wanted to come." Yes! Right now would be perfect. I could leave right now and neither of us would be the wiser. Of course that would mean we'd have to meet up to give him his chain back, but we could do that in a café. Or I could mail it to him. Anything but making him walk through that damn door and remember the feeling of being pressed into it.

"Alice, that sounds great—," I couldn't finish. My doorbell sounded and I swore under my breath.

"What was that?" Alice asked.

"Umm, there is somebody at my door. I think it's my neighbor. Hold on, I'll send him away." I said into the phone silently moving towards the door.

I looked through the peephole and smiled inwardly.

His hand hovered over the peephole, but you could still see the unique and wild hair.

I muted the phone and opened the door.

"I' with Alice on the phone." I said before he could say anything. I let him walk in and noticed the containers with take out that he had with him.

"Alice?" I said into the phone after I un-muted it, "I'll call you later."

"But will you come? Yes or no?" she asked again.

I looked at Edward as he stood in front of the door that led to the balcony. His back to me. He still wore his suit. His tie wasn't undone and there was no five-o'clock shadow on his jaw. He had never looked hotter.

"I don't think I will. Something just came up." I said with a sigh as I shut my eyes against the blatant lie.

"Oh. Ok, then." She sounded so disappointed. My heart clenched, and I realized that moments like these were the ones that made me deserve going to hell. And maybe getting caught lusting after Edward, but not eternally.

When the phone beeped off he spun around. "I see that you cancelled your 'meetings'," he said with a smirk, "Everything ok?" he asked.

I raised an eyebrow. "I guess not." He answered for me.

"I just lied to the best friend I have in this city. Your sister! So, no! Nothing is OK!"

He sat down staring at my flushed face. My fists closed at my sides and my breathing ragged. "Here. You may be missing this." I said handing him the envelope.

He looked perplexed at it for a moment before taking it up.

"Don't you usually leave this on the bedside table?" he tried joking while still not opening it.

I didn't find the 'whore joke' funny at all. So I rolled my eyes and nodded him to open it.

The shimmering links fell on his open palms and the sharp intake of air was the only sound in the room.

"When… where did you find it?" his voice was hoarse and his eyes held some ancient sadness.

"It was on… I found it the morning that… I was stripping the bed and…" he nodded not making me say what I obviously couldn't.

"Thank you," his tone was sincere. There was no smile on his lips, but it meant more that way, "It was a hard week without it."

"Bet it was even harder not being able to say how you lost it." I murmured leaning against the glass door of the balcony. It was still warm. The June sun had been falling on it all morning and afternoon long and it would be warm for a while longer.

He nodded at my last statement, "Bella, about that night you have to know that I had never done something remotely similar to that."

"I believe you, and don't worry, I won't say a thing. I told you that I understood that we were drunk."

"I told you I wasn't that drunk," he cut me off.

"But I was," Let me take the blame here. "You told me that you had been… attracted… to me before, so I guess me being drunk didn't help. I'm sorry." let's blame it on something and not leave it on the air.

"But I'm not!" he shouted throwing his arms on the air. He stood up and came around the table dropping the envelope in it, "I'm not saying it wasn't wrong. I know it was. But I can't find it in me… the feeling of regret." I know what that felt like. "I know it shouldn't have happened. I just regret that it happened in these circumstances. I'm so sorry for that. You deserve better. _This_ deserves better…" I couldn't keep listening to this. This wasn't helping. He wasn't supposed to talk. He was supposed to get his things and get out. It was a two-step program. Why are we even talking about this? It's over and done with. It happened and ended.

"Bella please say something," he said taking a step forward and I took a stop away. He took a larger step and got a hold of my hand before I could move it away. "Do you feel that?" he asked looking at our hands. Electricity, warmth, and happiness shot up and spread from my arm everywhere in my body. My legs felt like jelly. But warm jelly. Every inch of my skin that he had touched that night came alive with the recognition of his skin. I took a sharp inhale of breath and his scent hit me. His subtle cologne. The smell of office supplies and leather seats. His own spicy version of paradise.

Goosebumps ran along my arm and settled on my breast. My nipples strained against the fabric and he caressed up my arm with his other hand.

I had to stop this. I had to stop it before it was too late.

"Please, don't do this." My voice was weak, powerless against the storm of sensations.

"Why?" He countered taking a step closer.

"Because…" my eyes never left his. We both knew all the reasons why this was a bad idea. His family; his—I gulped bitter unshed tears—fiancée; Lizzy; the media, not that I cared a lot about that last one, but it was something to consider. So many things against it all.

"Forget about it all. Please, just forget about everything. What else do you have?" I didn't understand that question.

Then I got it: if I took everything out, there would only be him and I left. He smiled and his eyes shone with mischief and passion. He knew he had me there. "Do you feel that?" he asked, his hand still trailing up and down my arm. I could do nothing but to nod.

"It's the best feeling in the world. Isn't it?" he asked as his arm went higher and reached my collarbone. His hand spread over my neck and the hollow of the base there. "do you know how long I've waited to feel this again?" he was the one asking the questions. He was also giving the answers. I could do nothing but to close my eyes and rest my head back on the glass, giving him full control.

He kept moving his hand up and down my arm, while he held onto my fingers and played with them. Sometimes pushing my nails into the palm of his hand and then hissing at the pain. As if he needed to pinch himself to check if it was real. I felt the same. The only link to reality was the glass behind me.

His next words were accentuated by his breathing on my face. "Tell me you didn't miss this." He told me raggedly. "Tell me you walk through that door every day and don't remember how I kissed you. Tell me—no… Swear to me that you look at the floor and don't picture our clothes lying on it. Tell me you go to bed at night and don't find something utterly wrong with it. Tell me!" he shouted and I faltered back into the glass. "Sorry, sorry" he whispered against my hair. Hugging me hard against his body. Pressing every inch of our heights together.

"Can you look at me and tell me that? Can you? If you can, you have to teach me to forget the same way you do, Bella, because I don't live since I left this goddamn place. I merely exist, and I'm fucking tired of it!" his words were harsh, but whispered as he kissed down my hair and my cheek. And because I'm the masochist that I am, I turned my cheek and pressed the other side of my face against his lips. I needed the intimate, yet innocent, contact of his lips. The rest of my body was going insane craving for it. But I could only have his touch of my face, so I had to make the best of it. I made to turn my face back for a pitiful third kiss on my cheek and he pulled my face against his lips.

My lips were closed. My eyes clenched as I fought both the urge to kiss him harder and the traitor tears leaking through.

I think I must have sobbed because he was cradling me against his chest and moving towards the sofa. He sat down and pulled me with him. Swaying back and forth trying to calm the irrational response. God, I wanted him so much!

"Shh… it's ok. It's gonna be okay. I know how it feels. Just let it out." I couldn't help it anymore. I opened my eyes and really looked into the green oracles that haunted my dreams for the past week.

His eyes were dark and heavy. They shone with lust and ardor but left room for sadness and left me with the feel that I had no place in this world.

He kissed me. Softly bringing his mouth down on mine. Kissing every part of my open lips without letting me taste, take, feel him. He started to pull my lower lip into his mouth. Biting it the same way I did when I was nervous. Then did the same to the top one and I moaned and pushed his jacket off. Trying to feel him move, breathe, live. Trying to be closer.

He shook off his jacket and went back to pressing his hands against my neck, running them down my back and bringing my closer to him. I tasted mint and coffee until he started to kiss my cheeks. I moved my lips down the side of his face. Breathing against the aftershave of his neck before going back up and kissing along his jaw again. I found his chin and pressed my open lips to it before taking it into my mouth and biting it softly.

That simple gesture set him off and he was pushing me down on the sofa. His hands roaming my body and throwing whatever I had left on the seat to the floor. Once I was lying down he settled himself between my legs and went on to kiss me even harder. Pushing his tongue into my mouth and tasting every inch of me. His hips pressing down on mine while his hands teased my chest. His erratic breathing only increasing at the same pace of mine. Incoherent words were leaving my lips and he only said my name over and over in-between kisses. His hands went under my shirt, down my back cupping my bottom and moaning when I bucked even more into him. Then they went up and up as I arched into him and my hands pulled at his unruly hair.

"Oh, god!" I moaned as he palmed my breasts and left no place without the scorching feeling of completeness. Even the small and invisible feeling of the brush of his lashes against my skin brought moans out of me. My head thrown back on the armrest of the seat while my hands pushed and pulled at his shoulders without a defined goal.

I wanted him to come up and kiss me again where I could feel each one of the creases of his lips, but I wanted his lips lavishing my body as they were now. The conflict surged in my mind, but in my state of arousal I couldn't make a choice.

In the end I was pleased with having him kiss, suck, lick, bite and breathe, on every inch of my body. Not leaving a place where his hands didn't go.

"God, I could kiss your shadow and it wouldn't be enough." He moaned as I sucked on one of his fingers. "I need you now, Bella. Please say yes. Please Bella. Please don't make me wait any more. This week has been torture as it is. Please… please… please…" I could barely make out his words as he kissed my way out of my clothes. "God, Bella. Say something. Tell me you want me. Tell me you missed me. Hold me." He wasn't leaving me any space to do or say anything. So, I could only show him. I started frantically pulling at his shirt. He pulled at his tie and undid the top 3 buttons before pulling the whole thing over his head. When he was free of his clothes, like me, I pulled him to my bedroom. What else would you do when this godlike creature begged you not to make him beg? How did you answer to the fact that he would 'kiss my shadow' if it brought him some kind of peace?

He sat on the bed and I stood between his legs. No other move was made. We stared into each other's eyes and I relived the flashbacks of being in this room with him. This time there was no spinning out of control, just lust-induced haze. There would be no awkwardness of first time 'round. There was only him and me. Enough to make the sounds of the street below disappear and leaving a void to be filled with ecstasy.

Softly he pulled my face down. Running his fingers through my hair and rolling the ends around his fingers. Loose hairs fell and the sting of the pull on the others sneaked down my back in a strike of heat that settled down below.

I brought my knees up each side of him, settling on his lap and pressing his hard cock between our flaming bodies. He grunted at the contact. My skin starting to sweat up from the heat of the room and our bodies.

He flipped me onto my back and started a path down my mouth, throat, stomach—making a large stop on my breasts where he suckled and kissed until I was crying out for him to keep going.

He held both my hands in one of his to stop me from hurrying him. He kissed around my stomach. Up my side where it would have normally tickled, but now it only made me moan and writhe. Kissed across my chest and down the other side following the exact invisible path. He reached my hipbones and turned me over and I groaned at how long he was making me wait.

"I know." He said and I could hear the satisfied smirk on his voice, "I know what it feels like. Don't worry we'll get there." Yes, I would make damn sure we did, but what if I died from all this pleasure before we made it there?

He kissed the small of my back and ran his hands up in a relaxing gesture.

I could feel my insides pulling and pushing at me to make him for faster. To relieve the pain that was eating me inwardly from between my legs. He was kissing my shoulder blades and the side of my breasts again.

I finally got tired of this torture and flipped over, rose on my elbows and took his lips in mine. He pushed down on me; I fell back on the bed and caressed his chest, down his abs and along the V at his hips. My hand squeezed him when I got there. I felt him twitch and smiled at him. The look on his face was of pure concentration and pleasure. I brought my hand up following the same trail and pulled him down on me by the neck.

"Condoms are in the drawer." I whispered against his lips, not wanting to break the magic with something so important. He kissed my shoulder and the spot below my ear as I reached for the drawer. The constant touch of his already slick skin was the only thing I could concentrate as I rummaged with pencils and candles inside the boxlike demon. Where the hell were those things? I finally got a hold of it and brought it to him.

His hand engulfed mine and he didn't let go for a moment, just looking into my eyes.

In a flash he had it open and on. Slowly he eased himself into me. There was no nod of confirmation this time. It wasn't needed. It was just him and me, here.

Slowly he kissed me. So slowly, but so deeply. His tongue traced the outside of my mouth. Sucking my lips into his and then drawing my tongue into his mouth. It was a heavenly torture being filled like this.

As he entered me I could feel how every inch of him stretched me. The slow pace placating some of the fire burning within, but not enough to put it out. He controlled the fire, slowed it down, but had no intentions of putting it out. He merely concentrated it on the juncture between my legs with his slow rhythm.

His hands were tangled in my hair, keeping me kissing him despite the gasps and whimpers of pleasure. "More, faster." I urged as my hands pressed down on the small of his back.

The slow rhythm gave way to the demanding thrust that seated him in me, completely. He waited there for a moment before pulling out and pushing back in. My eyes closed tight while I concentrated on the single feeling of the joining of our bodies. Every time he pushed in, his skin would brush my clit and the complex mix of feeling would make me cry out.

His lips were everywhere. On my chest, on my face, on my neck. The heat was starting to be too much. The sensation was that one of being pulled away and away from reality and into a sea of bliss. I no longer recognized the touch of the bed or the rest of the room. It was just him and me there. The driving of him into me lifted me to immeasurable heights until I arched my back and felt as if I was then falling the whole way down. As if the last thread linking me to reality had snapped and I was in an alternate universe where I could only say his name.

My insides grasped and released him, again and again. Feeling every part of him. The unknown, but so familiar sensation inside of me.

One thrust. He growled my name from the back of his throat. Going faster and demanding more.

Two thrusts and his arms were strained and lifting him off me. His head thrown back in ecstasy and my name falling off his lips like a tantalizing mantra.

His pulsing inside did nothing to calm my clenching and, as he rested on top of me, I couldn't help but smile. He rolled over. Taking the feeling of completion with him and giving me a soft kiss on my shoulder as I whimpered.

We both took deep, calming breaths to fight back the erratic tempo of the afterglow. Blushing I looked back at him, and couldn't help to remember the feel of his hair as it brushed mi nipples; the look in those eyes as I demanded more; the way his nose inhaled my every scent as it ghosted over me; and his mouth. God, his mouth. Seeing it now half opened as I felt his breath come in and out.

"Bella?" the mouth moved and the deep voice brought back goosebumps across my skin. My eyes closed and my smile stretched, "Hmm?" was my pathetic excuse for a reply.

"Please stop looking at me like that. It's doing nothing for my sanity," oh, I wanted him to go crazy. I wanted him to feel helpless as I did whenever he came close.

"I want you… to lose that sanity," I said sultrily and he groaned, burying his face in the pillow and punching the bed. I couldn't help but giggle at the sight.

He sighed and peeked at me from under his lashes. His playful glare became more serious and my smile faltered.

"What are we doing?" the question hung on the air like impending doom. I swallowed and didn't know what to reply.

_We're following our impulses._

_You want a last fling before you are off the market._

_I'm giving into temptation._

_We're being crazy._

_You're blind._

_I'm a needy idiot. _

Neither of them seemed right, although they were true.

"I don't know," I sighed as I tried getting up.

"Me neither, but I don't care." He said pulling me down and bringing our bodies close again. I pulled the sheet from under my pillow and he covered us both with it.

He held me for a while. His breath was hot on my hair and his hands caressed my back as I traced lazy circles on his chest.

"Only a fool wishes for what he can't have." He murmured and my breath caught in my lungs.

_Please, stop him._

"Do you want to eat?" I changed the subject.

"No, I can eat on the way home." He said and pressed my body yet closer to his.

At the mention of home reality came back to me, "What did you tell her?"

He stiffened for a moment before sighing and letting go of me.

_Well done, idiot._ My lust-crazed self chastised.

"don't worry about it." He said sitting on the edge of the bed. His back to me once again while my arms were left empty tracing nonsense onto the sheets.

"I need to get my story straight," I would need to get a los of stories straight see as what happened tonight.

"Today I'm at a meeting. That night I slept at Ethan's" he said running his hands through his hair and looking out the window. "I bet the neighbours will be knocking on your door any day." He said pointing to the curtain-less window in front of him.

"If there's something they don't want to see, maybe they shouldn't look," I dismissed his worries.

"Has Ethan asked you anything?" he said suddenly.

"I thought you ad talked to him." I said worried.

"I did, I was just wondering if he asked you anything."

"He didn't. We haven't talked a lot on the phone." Since Ethan left for a business trip a couple of days ago we had texted pleasantries a couple of times a day. Some jokes, but nothing more. "Where is he?"

"I needed him to cover a few things for me in New York." He replied sitting back in the bed facing me.

It was weird seeing him sitting there so comfortable while completely naked. It was a pleasurable sight, but weird all the same.

"You sent him to New York? Are the few things that he is covering Lizzy and her stuff?" I asked.

"Partly," he replied with no trace of shame, "I also needed you free this weekend."

We were back to the arrogant prick persona.

"It's amazing how you decide to rearrange my plans with a simple order." I said sarcastically gathering the sheet close to my body.

"Are you sorry?" his incredulous smirk mocked me.

"I find it annoying how sure you are of yourself."

"I just proved I have reason to feel that way. We're here, aren't we?"

"Yes, after I completely ditched you sister."

"There'll be other functions." He dismissed me and I got madder at his patronizing tone.

"It doesn't matter!" I yelled at him. "You can't just swoop in and expect me to drop everything the minute you decide you need me." My tone was acid and I hoped it burned him.

"Fine! I'll ask next time!" he yelled back at me.

"Next time?" his eyes shot to mine, "what do you mean next time?" I asked.

"You know exactly what I mean." He replied serious.

"There will be no 'next time'," I told him without looking away. Hoping my voice held the conviction I wished I had.

"This was the 'next time' to that 'first time'. What makes you think this will go away so easily?"

"I'm not expecting it to go away by itself," the message was clear. _Force yourself o forget._

"You can't be serious. Were you not in the same room as me a moment ago? Were you not taken aback by what just happened?"

"That doesn't mean we have to encourage it," I relented.

"No. it means I'm sure we won't be able to stop it from happening again." His eyes bored into mine with the security that the truth offered.

"That depends on how strong your willpower is."

"Tell me something: why are you so decided on not giving things a chance?" he asked throwing me a glare.

"Tell me something: what will you do once you're done here?" I didn't let him reply, "Tell me where you will go?" my eyes bored into his. "Can you tell me that? Can you swear to me that you will go on with your life never lying to everyone around you?"

His eyes fell from mine with shame, "I thought so, too." I replied and got up. I wrapped the sheet around me and went to my closet then the washroom.

When I came out he was getting dressed in the living room. His shirt was tucked in but I could still see the signals of our encounter. Maybe I was the only one who could see them, but it didn't make me feel better. His phone rang and he ignored the call after looking at the screen briefly. I leaned against the door to the kitchen never taking my eyes off him.

"Is your curfew over?" I asked with a smirk.

"Jealous?" he smirked back.

"Of what? Of being lied to?" incredulity coloured my voice.

"And all that it entails." He told me with a wink before falling back on the couch. "It was just Ben." He sighed.

"How much does he know?"

"Ben's job is to know nothing. The last person you have to worry about is him."

"Who should I worry about?" I asked more serious now.

"Alice… and Jasper," he added as an afterthought.

I nodded solemnly and saw his hands ghost over the couch; the place where everything had started.

"I have to go—,"

"You'd better go—," we both started at the same time and our gazes met again.

My eyes collided with a wall of green and it didn't shine with the usual mischief, lust and hidden passion. This time it was flat as a constant, dull note.

"Don't forget the envelope." I reminded him in whisper and stared at the floor. His steps moved to my line of sight and then closer. His hands came and cupped my face and forced me to look up into the green ocean of his eyes.

He held my gaze for a moment longer. Trying to see if I'd give in.

_Not tonight._ I promised myself. Taking it one night at a time would be easier for now.

He sighed and moved towards the door taking my hand with him. I pulled it back and looked down again. The door clicked open and closed and he was gone. Taking the peace in my mind with him.

I passed the lock and went to clean up the mess left behind on the living room. I couldn't do it.

I fell back on the couch and stared at the door just like I had been doing hours before. No wine glass this time. Just Edward-induced intoxication.

Sunday came and left with me doing nothing but staring at my computer. I researched Edward's name in every possible search engine available in the net. I researched picture after picture until he started to show up in them without Tanya. Then I researched some more, but got nothing. It was as if his public life had never existed before she came along.

Alice was talking excitedly on the phone about the previous night and my fingernails were losing the battle against my teeth expecting her to ask me what I did.

"It was amazing, Bella. You have to come next time."

"Sure, Alice." I told her, and for once meaning it. Keep busy. Don't give yourself time to think.

"I mean, there were so many designers! I met so many people that I had only heard about. And Tanya promised to introduce me to some models and photographers that I could use for the store. I mean, it was so nice of her to do that, now with the wedding and everything I bet she'll be swamped with work. I want to plan our weddings together. That way we'll have more ideas. And for mine I'll be relaxed—," Ha! Alice? Relaxed? Yeah, right. "—because I'll know wha I'll be dealing with. I mean, she is used to all the rushing and changing clothes fast between shows. I bet she'll wear more than 5 outfits throughout the wedding."

Tanya. Wedding.

Wedding. Tanya.

Tanya.

Wedding.

It was all the same to me, and of course Alice had no reason to think that such innocent talk would bother me. After all I was the one that tried making them get along. Why did I have to push my nose where I had no business? Would I be feeling better if Alice wasn't pushing my face into the reality of Edward's and Tanya's wedding?

Well, if they weren't together I'd have no reason to feel guilty. He was a man. I was a woman. Under the same sky with the same rights.

But the truth was that they were engaged, no less. And coveting your neighbour's almost-husband was still a sin.

Based on what had happened the night before just before he left, I was sure he was having no trouble with his feelings for her. Never did he give any indication that he was thinking of calling the whole engagement off, not that I would ask him to.

Would I?

_Of course you would. Right after you go back to Phoenix and tell Lily and John exactly what you think of them. Of course you'll do it._

Annoying sarcastic internal monologue.

"Did you hear, Bella? Isn't it amazing?!" what was?

"Yeah, Alice. It sounds great. Hey, I have to go now. I'll talk to you later, ok?"

"Ok, but we have to get together this week. You promised!" she shouted as I said my goodbyes and sent greetings to her family.

Yeah, sure. We'll get together. We'll make small talk and look through designs that would fit a September wedding. We should also do out hairs and speak boys. What about the best boys we've ever kissed. Or the last boy we did. That should be fun.

What am I doing? Why would I move across the country only to have it all coming back to me.

I call Carrie and I know that she knows something is up.

"so, anything new and exciting? What have you done lately?" is it me or is there a double meaning to her tone?

"I haven't done much. Work is still the ruling force. And Ethan is away for a business trip." I try to not give details. I suck at lying and I know I'll get tangled in it. I feel guilty for lying to her, but I can't help it. I can't say anything. She's coming here in a month or so and she has never been known for keeping her trap shut.

"So, the boy is away. Shouldn't you be doing something that he shouldn't now about?"

_Does fucking his boss count?_

"I don't think that would be wise… the boy has a lot of eyes and ears in this city." That was something I hadn't considered. What if Ethan found out? Would he tell the Cullens? Tanya?

What I found most disturbing was that I didn't exactly care if he got mad at me, and that was a signal that I didn't care for him. Time, Bella. Give it time. Don't rush it.

"So? It'll give him an incentive to get back faster…" she said with a tone I knew too well.

"Truth is… I don't really miss him that much. You know?" there was more than that, but she didn't have to know?

"That's it? I thought you would tell me the truth." She said with a laugh, "the _complete_ truth." She added before I could say anything.

"What do you mean?" lie, lie, lie.

"You know what I mean?" she said with a sigh, "now, why don't you tell me what is really happening. Did john call? Was it Lily?"

"No! No. it has nothing to do with them." There was no point arguing with her. If I was going down I might as well pull her with me, because she always did the same. "Do you remember that last weekend I went to this club with the Cullens?"

"Yeah. The whole secret club thing has me very interested in Chicago, just so you know."

"Well, remember that I told you Edward drove me home."

"Yeah…" she paused for a moment, "he didn't drive you home? Who drove you then?"

"Oh, no! He did drove me home. He even walked me to the door…" I took a deep breath, "and then walked me inside…" I stopped there, waiting for her reaction.

Silence came from the other side of the line.

"Carrie?" had the call been interrupted?

"I'm here. Just processing."

"Oh, ok."

"So, you guys slept together?" she asked.

"Umm. Yeah." We had hot, sticky, sweaty, toes-curling… stop it!

"Wow. I thought you hated him. I guess your girly parts missed that memo."

"Yeah, well… I didn't end there."

"Wait, you had drunk sex, and what else?"

"He kind of came over yesterday…" I said in the smallest of whispers.

Silence again.

"He what?"

"He came over yesterday," I said louder, "and you know…"

"No, I got that. I just didn't think that you'd… wow, Bella. So, was it sloppy?"

"What was?" I was confused. He looked perfect yesterday. The last adjective you could pair Edward with, was sloppy.

"The sex!" she exclaimed.

"No! What would make you think that?!"

"Weren't you guys drunk?"

"I was that time, but apparently he wasn't."

"What about this time?" she gave no hint of amusement or disappointment. The question was just a question.

"This time I was as sober as I would ever be."

"So, is it a permanent thing?"

"He is engaged." My teeth were gritted

"Oh, right. To Miss Bulimia, isn't it?"

"Tanya." The name made my stomach turn.

"Still, I ask again: is it a permanent thing?"

"Apparently he wants it to be. But I told him no."

"Did you mean it?" she asked.

"Of course! What do you think?"

"Do you think you'll stick to it?"

"I really don't know." I sighed and rested my bead back on the wall. I was sitting on the floor. Refusing to sit on the couch or the bed. And the den was too hot to be in it right now.

"Are you sorry? Do you feel regret?"

"I'm sorry I have to lie to all of them, but I can't make myself regret it. What is wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong, don't worry. What about him?"

"He said he regrets it happened under these circumstances…" I shut my eyes trying not to think about last night, and failing miserably.

"Interesting." She murmured.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I wonder what you'll do next."

"Avoid him like the plague. What else am I supposed to do?"

"How about changing your tactics for once?" she taunted me.

"I think I'll pass on that one."

"Wait a minute, isn't the boy you're dating one of Edward's subordinates?" the way she said 'the boy' made it sound like he was some intern at the company.

"Yes. _Ethan_ works for Edward."

"So, you upgraded to the boss. Nicely done, young one… oh, wait, he is the young one. Never mind," she was pushing my buttons.

"Carrie, fuck off," I said in a sickening sweet voice.

"Fine, but keep me posted. This is turning out better than I thought." She laughed into the phone.

"You're not being helpful…"

"Sorry, hun," she laughed some more and I glared at the wall in front of me.

**********

Monday rolled around and was back to feeling like a strange in my own home. Work was the same. Checking poetry and picking the best.

Searching through Edward's past and finding more expired links. Maybe there was a problem with the database.

Listening to tapes of Carlisle's and the other doctor's interviews helps nothing. I keep imagining that first meeting on the elevator and what happened on my own elevator at home.

I was distracted all lunch long and Angela could tell. She didn't say much and I wondered if Ben told her something.

'_Ben's job is to know nothing.'_ Edward's authoritarian comment made my insides jump and my skin blush.

We went back to the office together. Talking and smiling about the weather. I stepped into the building and my smile faltered.

There, standing in the foyer was no other than Ben.

"Hey, Ang!" he greeted her and then his eyes fell on me.

I swear he knew. And not only that, he knew I was with Edward this weekend, too.

I tried and acted normally and ignored the annoying feeling inside of me.

Do you remember when you were a kid and ate that sweet you weren't supposed to? Do you remember the way you lied to your parents and they know you lied, and you still didn't come clean?

Yeah, that's how it felt. Cold and empty inside. Fear in my eyes. Pale in my face, and my hands getting sweatier by the second.

"I better go. I should get back to my desk. Nice seeing you again Ben, see you around Ang." I turned and hurried to the elevators and as I waited for them Ben showed up at my side again.

"Oh, Bella. You didn't give me a chance to give you this." He said passing me an envelope. I looked puzzled and maybe terrified, "It's from Lizzy."

"Did…" I cleared my throat, "Did Ethan get back?"

"He came to bring a few documents back, but he left again this morning." He explained and my face fell. What was I expecting? "Well, see you around." He said with a wave and went back to Angela.

I stepped into the elevator turning the white envelope in my hands.

I got to my desk and place the envelope between the keys on the keyboard.

Something told me Lizzy didn't send this. Actually, something told me Ethan didn't come at all. My eyes were drawn to the white paper and the lines that filtered through. Finally I gave up and opened it.

After reading the first few lines I knew it was more than wrong to read this at work. But I couldn't stop until I got to the end. My face flushed and my hands trembling. Suddenly it was way too hot in the office and I needed to drink some water. I stood up and went to the water fountain. Pressing the cold cup of water to my forehead, I tried calming my heartbeat and breathing.

The phone on my desk started ringing and I stared at it.

My voice was hoarse and faltered when I answered.

"Isabella Swan speaking." I said as evenly as I could, but it sounded everything but.

"Bella," deep, throaty and steel voice greeted me. Fuck. I would kill Ben.

"Edward." I bit back a growl of frustration.

"I see you got my poem. I wanted to submit it for this week's section."

"First of all, the poem has to be your own. Second of all, I think that poem is hardly appropriate for a Sunday edition of the newspaper. Are you sure you want your name right below it?" I was seething. That wasn't funny at all.

"I guess I broke the rules, again." I could hear the smirk in his voice.

"I guess you did." I said not giving him a chance to make another comment. Where had this Edward come from? He was always moody and sulking. What the hell was going on? Next thing I knew he would be telling me to—…

"Bella, lighten up!" had he read my mind?

"You sent me an erotic poem at work! It would have been embarrassing if someone else had seen it. And the worst part yet: you sent it with Ben! But if that's not enough: he said it was from Lizzy. I guess she's growing terribly fast!" I seethed into the phone.

"Fine! I'm sorry. I just wanted to do something for you. I thought we could laugh together or something, but I guess I was wrong. Burn it if you want!" and he hung up.

What the fuck is wrong with that man?

_What the fuck is wrong with _you_? That poem was hot!_

Yeah, it was hot as hell. But he shouldn't have done that. I swore I would get rid of the poem as fast as possible. But I couldn't leave it lying around in the office. I tucked it into my agenda and promised to get rid of it at home.

As I sat in the bus on my way back home my fingers itched to bring out the poem again. To read the lines and in-between them. To repeat it aloud and bring back the rain of sensations that it brought the first time around.

I couldn't do it. I sat on my dining room staring at the page in front of me. Trying to force myself to shred it to pieces and get rid of it. If any of the Cullens found it, it would be so embarrassing.

If Tanya found it she'd pop my eyeballs out with her own nails. There were so many reasons to get rid of it. So I tucked it into the pages of Pride and Prejudice and put the book back in the shelves, but before that I read it over and over until words and ideas started to mix together.

That night I couldn't sleep. I needed to get my curtains back in place. This would be the last week that I let Emmett screw my sleep. Enough was enough.

A deep green wouldn't look too bad. Was my last thought before I gave in to restless dreams.

* * *

**END NOTES:**

If anybody wonders, this is the poem that he sent her…. In my mind, of course

**More!**

_by Michael Anderson_

I see myself holding you close to me,  
Squeezing your body tight.  
But for all I see as I daydream-  
I know I'll get tenfold tonight.

Running my palms across your breast,  
As you tremble and bite your lip.  
Feeling your hands upon my chest,  
The softness of each fingertip.

Tasting your neck so sweet, so soft,  
And slowly lowering my kiss.  
Over pert nipples, across your navel,  
And finally into pure bliss.

Looking upon your face from below-  
As you tilt back your head.  
Feeling your fountains begin to flow-  
As you ease back on the bed.

Your "innocent little devil" look-  
Crying insatiably with the sensation.  
Lip to lip lapping up every drip-  
From the well of your creation.

The way you pull me up by the hair-  
To the heat of your mouth, on fire.  
No other thoughts, no other cares,  
Just the quenching of mad desire.

Riding the tide of passion,  
Pushing my love into you.  
On the waves of your emotion-  
In slow motion, so sweet and true.

Pulse pounding in resounding rapture,  
Taken to the hilt, then just past.  
Rhythm growing, faces glowing,  
The climax coming fast.

That heated, illicit look-  
Of ecstasy across your eyes.  
The culmination nearing-  
Within your undulating thighs.  
Echoing throughout the heavens-  
On overindulgent cries.

The sultry look upon your face-  
In reaching that gyrating gush.  
The way you bite my fingers-  
When I try to make you hush.

Your arching back, your fingernails,  
Your perfume mixed with sweat.  
The way you keep rubbing against me-  
With your insides already so wet.

The way when I'm beat dead and ready-  
To fall face first to the floor,  
You put your sweet lips to my ear-  
And whisper, "I want more!"

Review and tell me your thoughts on new moon. watched it? not watched it? liked it? didn't like it?


End file.
